Soundtrack:

Nevermore ~ Adrian von Ziegler (Between Life and Death)

I wasn't exactly sure where I was. Was this the Beyond? One moment I'm on top of Fort Drakon killing a tainted Old God dragon and the next I'm in the Brecilian Forest. For the first time in over a year, I felt at peace. My fight or flight reflexes weren't engaged. I didn't feel like I would walk into an ambush at any moment. Had I truly ventured into the Beyond? Had I made the ultimate sacrifice? I was a Grey Warden. Sacrifice was what we did. And I would have gladly made that sacrifice if it meant the Blight would be stopped. Although it saddened me that I wouldn't get to see my mother and sister and Clan again. I stopped when I saw Tamlen, looking exactly how I remembered him. Blond hair. Charming smile. Bright eyes that danced when he smiled. I knew I had to be dead then. That Morrigan's ritual had failed.

He took my hand. "I did not expect to see you again so soon," he said. "I expected to wait on you for many a year."

"You were waiting for me?"

"Of course. So many things were left unsaid before my mistake. I should have listened to you, Realin. You were always the cautious one. And you were rarely wrong. If I had listened to your warning, so much could have been avoided. We would still be hunting together and you would not have had to kill me."

I bit my lip and looked down. That had been the hardest thing I had ever done. Well, one of them.

Tamlen lifted my chin. "Do not blame yourself. You have carried that guilt since the day you left to become a Warden. It was my mistake, not yours. And you shouldn't have had to pay the price. I loved you. I should have turned back and made sure you would be safe. Instead, I wanted glory. It is you the mistrals will sing about, not me."

"I will be forgotten over time."

Tamlen took my other hand to where he was holding both of them. "Isn't that the fate of us all? To be forgotten." He had a point.

"Realin!"

I paused. Alistair?

"We can spend eternity together now. In the Beyond."

"No! Realin! Oh, Maker! No!" Why was I hearing Alistair?

An Elf approached us. He was tall and dark, unusual for one of the Elvhenan. I knew him right away as Falon'Din. Friend of the Dead. One of our gods. And I realized then that maybe the history we had gathered about our gods might have been wrong.

"You have a choice to make, young one," he said, his voice deep. "You hover between life and death. Your willpower is allowing your heart to beat yet you have come here. You cannot be in both worlds. You must choose one."

"Please, Realin. Don't leave me like this. You can't leave me like this."

That explained why I was hearing Alistair's voice. Do I choose death and an eternity with Tamlen? Or do I chose life and the pain of seeing the man I love wed and have a child with another?

"I..." I looked at Tamlen.

"Please, Realin. Don't give up now. You've come too far."

"I... I can't, Tamlen."

"You've done what you set out to do," Tamlen said. "You've slain the Archdemon."

"But I cannot choose death."

Tamlen nodded. "I will not force you to."

"Maker, please! Don't take her from me! Please!" I could hear the grief in Alistair's voice as he begged my life of his god.

"I will wait for you."

I placed a hand on his cheek. "No. You deserve a peaceful rest. Go."

"Realin..."

"Go, Tamlen." I placed my free hand over my heart. "You will always be in my heart. You will always be a part of me. I will finally be at peace with myself knowing you have gone to the peace of the Beyond."

Tamlen placed his hand over the hand on my heart. He leaned in and kissed me. Then wiped away the tear that fell down my cheek. "I never had the chance to tell you how much I loved you. I was going to begin a courtship when we returned to camp. I guess it's too late now." He smiled. "Goodbye, my love. May you find the love I was never able to give you. May the Creators guide the path of your life." He turned away and climbed into Falon'Din's open aravel.

The Creator God clicked his tongue and the halla began to pull away. Tamlen turned and gave me one final glance. I held my hand up in farewell. He looked back until they disappeared.

"Please, Realin. Please. I need you. I need you." Did he? How could I believe that? "Please."

"So this is the champion who found the Ashes of the Bride of the Maker?"

I turned to see a woman with wavy brown hair wearing a flowing white dress, an elaborate staff in her hand.

"The one who has saved Ferelden."

A very muscular man with black hair and the clearest blue eyes I had ever seen stood behind her. "You are not one of My children, yet you risked all to find the Ashes," he said, his voice deep and booming. "Not for yourself, but for another."

My eyebrows rose in surprise. Was I looking upon the Maker and Andraste themselves? The Chantry would soil themselves if they knew that Andraste was a Mage.

"You wondered how you were able to pass those trials?"

"Yes," I had to admit, I was amazed I had passed the Gauntlet when I didn't even believe in the god the trials were a test of faith for.

"I looked into your heart, child. I saw your intentions and the pureness and pain of your heart. That is why I allowed you to pass the Gauntlet."

I couldn't respond. It was a bit overwhelming to speak to two gods within minutes of each other.

"You will achieve great things before your Calling."

"Don't leave me, Realin. I love you." The last was said in a whisper.

"The love you share has crossed all bounds," Andraste said. "Much like the love I have for My Maker." She walked to me and placed her hand on my cheek. "You showed the Maker and I the respect that many of your people would not. You must return now. And know a peace you have not known in some time."

"Should you perish." Alistair seemed to think I was gone. He was probably going to kill Morrigan if he could find her. "Know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten." There was so much grief in his voice. "And that one day we shall join you."

Andraste had motioned to a door that had suddenly appeared.

I started to walk towards it when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see my father.

"Father," I whispered.

"You have made your people proud, my daughter," he said. "I wish I could have lived to see this day. You have made me proud." He embraced me and I didn't want to let him go.

"Ainnileas," Andraste said softly. "She must go now."

Ainnileas nodded and reluctantly released me. "I will always love you, Realin."

I gave him and Andraste one final look before turning to the door and walking through it.

~~~

I slowly became aware of the world around me. I became aware that someone was holding me and pressing me close to him. I knew Alistair's familiar embrace. My eyes slowly opened and his breastplate invaded my sight.

"Let me breathe, you dolt." I was sure he nearly dropped me. I was now looking up at him. There was a look of relief mixed with joy on his face.

He smiled through the tears that had been falling. "I thought I'd lost you for sure this time."

I smiled at him, if a bit weakly. I felt like I'd been through a massive battle and had my ass kicked by the Archdemon. Oh, right. Because I had. "It takes more than an Archdemon to kill me." Even my voice sounded weak to me.

Alistair laughed. "Thank the Maker, that's true." He pushed a braid away then lifted me up to kiss me. I was too weak to fight him. Not that I really wanted to.

"You really need to stop that, Alistair," I whispered when he broke away. He stood with me still in his arms. I naturally wrapped my arms around him.

"I need to take you to Wynne. You need healing."

"Please put me down." Being in his arms like this again reminded me that our relationship was over. Even though I knew I was too weak for him to do so. Judging by the words I was sure he thought I didn't hear, I knew he still loved me. And that made everything worse. The others had already gathered nearby. Teagan's mouth actually hung open, but I could see the pure relief on his face.

"Are you sure you can walk?" Alistair asked.

"Not really."

"Then I'm not going to set you down so you can fall flat on your face after saving Ferelden." He then grinned. "It's my job to embarrass myself and you."

I chuckled weakly, then winced as pain shot through my torso. Alistair knelt down instead, seeing our healer coming towards us, the others right behind her.

Wynne took my face in her hands. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I just had my arse handed to me by the Archdemon."

"Sarcasm is a good sign of health," Teagan said as Wynne chuckled and went to work.

Leliana and Tristan rushed over to me. The mabari was overjoyed to see me and barked and danced around.

"You are truly blessed by the Maker!" she cried. "To survive this, to... to survive killing the Archdemon! He truly does smile upon you. My heart is full of joy to know you survived!"

"Give the Mage room to work," Sten said. "And I don't think the Warden wants to be crowded." 

The Archdemon was dead. By my hand. I hadn't let anyone down. I had succeeded. And survived. The Blight was over. It was all over.