Soundtrack:

I Am the One ~ Inon Zur (The Joining)

Hand of Sorrow ~ Within Temptation (Grey Wardens Theme)

After leaving Morrigan at the edge of the Wilds, Alistair led us back to the gates of Ostagar. Once inside, I turned and headed to the kennels.

"Where are you going?" Alistair asked.

"I told the kennel master if I found that flower he was looking for, I'd bring it to him," I responded.

Alistair nodded. "We'll wait for you here. Be quick."

I jogged over to the kennels and found the kennel master. "How is our friend doing?" I asked.

He turned to me, his eyes as grieved as when I'd spoken to him earlier. "The mabari is stable for now, but not improving. Unless I get that herb I was telling you about, there's not much hope."

I carefully pulled out the flower I had picked in the Wilds. "Is this the flower you're looking for?"

"Let me see," he said as I handed him the flower. "Yes! That's exactly it! Wonderful! Give me a moment and I'll make this into an ointment," He went into the kennels and returned several minutes later. "He looks better already. I'm sure he'd thank you himself, if he could."

"How long before there's an improvement?" I wanted the mabari to survive for some reason. Perhaps it was because of the taint we both had.

"A day, maybe two. There's enough ointment for him to make a full recovery. Why not come back after the battle? Perhaps we can see about imprinting him on you?"

"You think that's possible?" He had said re-imprinting was difficult.

"Maybe. It's likely he understands you're responsible for curing him. Mabari are at least as smart as your average tax collector," He chuckled. "Come back after the battle and just... take another look."

"I will, then."

The kennel master smiled and then returned to tending to the dogs. I rejoined Alistair, Daveth, and Jory and together we went to Duncan with the blood and the treaties.

"So you return from the Wilds," Duncan said. "Have you been successful?"

"Not that it was easy, but yes," I replied, handing him the vials.

"Good. I've had the Circle Mages preparing. With the blood you've retrieved, we can begin the Joining immediately."

"Now will you tell us what this ritual is about?"

"I will not lie; we Grey Wardens pay a heavy price to become what we are. Fate may decree that you pay your price now rather than later."

That didn't sound good. If he was hinting at the possibility that we could die during the Joining, it was no wonder the Wardens numbers were few.

"I've come this far," I said. "I want to see this through." I didn't come this far with the taint to give up now due to a fear that the Ritual would kill me. I was already dead. This would just make it quicker.

"I agree," Jory piped in. "Let's have it done."

"Then let us begin," Duncan turned to his fellow Warden. "Alistair, take them to the old temple," Alistair nodded and he and the others left. I stayed behind. "Realin?"

"I have no problem with facing the Joining," I said. "But how is this going to cure my taint?"

"I will explain it to all of you," he paused. "It hasn't gotten worse, has it?"

"No," I lied.

"I will meet you at the temple." Duncan left before I could ask any more questions. I went to the temple to await him with the others.

~~~

When I joined the others, Jory was pacing. Alistair glanced at me as I went to stand between him and Daveth.

"The more I hear about this Joining, the less I like it," Jory said.

"Are you blubbering again?" Daveth asked.

"Why all these damned tests?"

I glanced at Alistair, who shook his head as if to say "Don't ask".

"Have I not earned my place?"

"Maybe it's tradition. Maybe they're just trying to annoy you."

"I swear I'm the bravest one here and I'm a woman," I commented. That brought a snicker from Alistair and I saw the glimmer of a grin of Daveth's face.

Jory seemed to ignore the comment. "All I know is my wife is in Highever with a child on the way. If they had warned me...," He paused. "It just doesn't seem fair."

I frowned. It wasn't fair for me to lose my best friend and become tainted. I was beginning to become annoyed with Jory. He had done nothing but whine and carry on since we entered the Wilds. I hoped not all knights were like this. I hoped the other knights that he'd left behind in Highever didn't whine and cower like he did.

"Would you have come if they'd warned you?" Daveth asked. "Maybe that's why they don't. The Wardens do what they must, right?"

"Including sacrificing us?"

"I'd sacrifice a lot more if I knew it would end the Blight."

"Will you both shut up?" I'd had enough of listening to them argue.

"Yeah, Ser Knight, try not to wet your trousers until the Ritual starts."

"I've just never faced a foe I could not engage with my blade," Jory complained.

Finally, Duncan joined us with a very large goblet. "At last we come to the Joining."

Jory and Daveth shut up immediately.

"The Grey Wardens were founded during the First Blight, when humanity stood on the verge of annihilation," He set the goblet down on the nearby table. "So it was that the first Grey Wardens drank of Darkspawn blood and mastered their taint."

Come again? Drinking Darkspawn blood was the cure? What kind of cure was that?

"We're... going to drink the blood of those... those creatures?"

I half expected a wet spot to appear at Jory's crotch.

"As the first Grey Wardens did before us, as we did before you. This is the source of our power and our victory."

Everything started to make sense. I was a tainted creature. If I drink the blood I would master that taint and no longer be in danger of that taint killing me or causing me even more agony, if the bitter taste of it I had in the Wilds was any indication of what I had to look forward to.

Alistair chimed in to help explain. "Those who survive the Joining become immune to the taint. We can sense it in the Darkspawn and use it to slay the Archdemon."

"Those who survive?" I asked the question everyone had been thinking.

"Not all who drink will survive and those who do are forever changed," Duncan explained. That was an understatement on my part. I was already forever changed. "This is why the Joining is a secret. It is the price we pay. We speak only a few words prior to the Joining, but these words have been said since the first. Alistair, if you would?"

Alistair bowed his head. Daveth followed suit. I have never bowed my head when I prayed to the Creators. Jory was staring at the goblet on the table.

"Join us, brothers and sisters," Alistair began. "Join us in the shadows where we stand, vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten and that one day we shall join you."

After Alistair finished his solemn prayer, Duncan stepped over to the table and picked up the goblet. "Daveth, step forward." He handed Daveth the goblet.

Without hesitation, he drank and handed the goblet back to Duncan. Both the Wardens took a step back and for a moment it looked as if nothing would happen. Then Daveth started dry heaving. He grabbed his throat and started screaming. I involuntarily took a step back as he staggered about before his eyes rolled in the back of his head and he fell to his knees.

"Maker's breath!" Jory cried. He looked as if he couldn't retreat back fast enough.

Daveth pitched forward, landing on one hand while the other continued to hold his throat. I was sure my face was betraying my shock at witnessing this.

"I am sorry, Daveth," Duncan said sadly. Daveth fell to the ground and moved no more.

"By the Creators!" I breathed. Is this how Tamlen died? In such agony? I could only hope his death had been a quick one.

"Step forward, Jory."

The knight continued to retreat backward as he reached for his sword. Not the greatest idea. "But... I have a wife... a child! Had I known..."

Duncan turned to him. "There is no turning back."

Jory backed into a wall. "No!" He drew his sword and Duncan placed the goblet on the table. "You ask too much! There is no glory in this!"

Duncan drew his shorter sword. Jory went after him. Duncan expertly blocked his blows. I knew Jory had no chance against him. Duncan slipped past Jory's defense and the sword slipped easily through his torso. Alistair was gaping and I was sure I was as well.

"I am sorry," He withdrew his sword and Jory fell, his blood pooling about him. Duncan cleaned his blade and took up the goblet again. "But the Joining is not yet complete." It took me a moment to realize that Duncan was standing before me with the Darkspawn blood. I looked away from Jory's dead form and laid eyes on Duncan's face. He held the goblet towards me. "You are called upon to submit yourself to the taint for the greater good."

I raised my brow at him. He nodded at me. He seemed to know that I would survive this. Perhaps I had a better advantage than Daveth being tainted as I was. I took the goblet and, like Daveth, I didn't hesitate to put it to my lips. I can't describe the taste. The only thing I can tell you is I never want to taste it again. I handed the goblet back to Duncan.

"From this moment forth, you are a Grey Warden."

He and Alistair took a few steps back. Like Daveth, it seemed for a moment nothing would happen. Then it felt as if there was a battle raging within me. My head felt as if it would crack open. My hands went to it. There was a roaring in my ears and the pain of my taint intensified tenfold, this time much worst than the incident in the Wilds. I heard a distant scream before my world went black.

A dragon, black as midnight, with glowing red eyes roared and moved its head from side to side. It seemed to look straight at me and gave a bellow that would freeze any man's heart in fear and shake the ground he walked upon.

I slowly awoke to see Duncan and Alistair's concerned and worried faces above mine. The back of my head throbbed; I must have hit it when I fell. Which is what I must have done to have the Wardens looking down upon me.

Duncan looked relieved. "It is finished. Welcome."

Alistair stood as I sat up. "Two more deaths. In my Joining, only one of us died, but it was... horrible. I'm glad at least one of you made it through."

I regained my footing and I could see the concern still in Duncan's eyes. "How do you feel?" he asked.

I rubbed the back of my head. "Nothing you said prepared me for that, but I'm fine."

"Such is what it takes to be a Grey Warden."

A Grey Warden.

I was a Grey Warden.

I had passed my final test. My taint was a thing of the past. I had mastered it. My cure. I wondered if Keeper Marethari knew what my cure would be. Had she known, would she have still allowed me to come?

"Did you have dreams?" Alistair asked. "I had terrible dreams after my Joining."

"Such dreams come when you begin to sense the Darkspawn, as we all do," Duncan said. "That and many other things can be explained in the months to come."

"Before I forget, there is one last part to your Joining," Alistair said. "We take some of that blood and put it in a pendant. Something to remind us... of the ones who didn't make it this far."

I glanced over at Daveth and Jory's bodies, still lying in the same places they had fallen. Alistair handed me the pendant he spoke of. I looked at it, then closed my hand around it.

"Take some time," Duncan said. "When you are ready, I'd like you to accompany me to a meeting with the king."

"Very well."

"The meeting is to the west, down the stairs. Please attend as soon as you are able." He and Alistair walked off.

I took a few breaths, the fact I was now a Grey Warden fully sinking in. I looked at the pendant again, before slipping the cord over my head. Tamlen. Daveth. Jory. My best friend and two Warden recruits. Men who had died senseless deaths. Tamlen didn't deserve to die the way he had. Neither had Daveth. He would have made a great Warden. Jory not so much, but I felt for the child who would never see its father. I went in the direction that Duncan had told me to go and joined the meeting, which seemed to have just begun.