Soundtrack:

Nocturne ~ Secret Garden (The Urn of Sacred Ashes)

There were several flights of stairs to ascend before we came to a hall that led to a large room. At the other end of the room was a door and a tall man with silver armor standing before it. I could see a black beard on the part of his face his helm didn't cover. I slowly approached him.

"I bid you welcome, pilgrim," he said. His voice was both gentle and firm at the same time.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I am the Guardian, the protector of the Urn of Sacred Ashes," Had we actually found it? "I have waited years for this."

I gave him a surprised look. "For me?"

"You are the first to arrive in a very long time. It has been my duty, my life, to protect the Urn and prepare the way for the faithful who come to revere Andraste. For years beyond counting have I been here and shall I remain until my task is done and the Imperium has crumbled into the sea."

I went straight to the point. "How do I get to the Urn?"

"You have come to honor Andraste and you shall, if you prove yourself worthy."

"I need the Ashes to cure a noble man."

"Still, you must prove yourself worthy. It is not my place to decide your worthiness. The Gauntlet does that. If you are found worthy, you will see the Urn and be allowed to take a small pinch of the Ashes for yourself. If not..."

If not, I would die.

"What is the Gauntlet?"

"The Gauntlet tells the true pilgrims from the false. You will undergo four tests of faith and we shall see how your soul fares."

I nodded. I wasn't one of the Maker's children, but I had to try. Or at least die trying to save Eamon. "Let's get this started."

"Before you go, there is something I must ask. I see the path that led you here was not easy. There is suffering in your past. Your suffering and the suffering of others. Tamlen was one of your clan, a blood brother."

I just looked at the Guardian, the mention of my late best friend stopping my heart.

"You left him in the ruins, left him to his fate."

I just stared at him. How could he have possibly known that? The only one who had known about Tamlen and the events leading to his death was Duncan.

"Tell me, pilgrim. Did you fail Tamlen?"

"How do you know of my past?" I breathed. I could feel the others' eyes upon me. I felt the tightness in my chest at the memory of Tamlen touching that Creators forsaken mirror. The Guardian was ripping open a wound that had yet to heal.

"Your path is laid out before me and plain to see. In the lines of your face and the scars on your heart. Do you believe you failed Tamlen?"

In a way I did, but I also didn't. I had told him to stay away from the mirror, but we never did find him when we went back to search for him. If he had listened...

"My answer is my own, Guardian," I whispered. I couldn't relive that. Not now. It was still too fresh and I wasn't strong enough to face it just yet. But I knew the others would ask at some point. And I didn't think I would be able to talk about it even then.

"Very well. You know your own heart."

I wasn't sure if I did.

"Now you've got me curious about how you really feel," Alistair said.

"I wonder why you do not answer such a simple question," Wynne stated.

Because I couldn't.

"I'm glad you declined," Morrigan said. "This question has nothing to do with our goal."

"What's past is past," Leliana said. "Why bring it up and open old wounds?" I would have to thank her later.

The Guardian looked at the others one by one. "And what of those that follow you? Alistair, knight and Warden," He turned to my fellow Warden. "You wonder if things could have been different if you were with Duncan on the battlefield," Alistair's regret was no secret, but the Guardian seemed intent on bringing up old hurts. "You could have shielded him from the killing blow," I could see the pain of loss on his face. I bit my lip as the Guardian continued. "You wonder, don't you, if you should have died and not him?"

"I... yes. If Duncan had been saved and not me, everything would be better. If I'd just had the chance, maybe...," He trailed off. Alistair would have that regret for as long as he lived. I, too, had wondered if things wouldn't have been better if Cailan had sent Alistair and Duncan to light the beacon and not I. And if Tamlen and I had never gone to that cave.

"And you," He turned to Leliana next. "Why do you say the Maker speaks to you when all know that the Maker has left? He spoke only to Andraste. Do you believe yourself to be Her equal?"

"I never said that! I—"

"In Orlais, you were someone. In Lothering, you feared you would lose yourself, become a drab Sister and disappear. When your brothers and sisters of the cloister criticized you for what you professed, you were hurt but you also reveled in it. It made you special. You enjoyed the attention, even if it was negative."

"You're saying I made it up for... for the attention? I did not! I know what I believe!"

Wynne saved her from saying anything else. "Ask your question, Guardian. I am ready."

"You are ever the adviser, ready with a word of wisdom. Do you wonder if you spout only platitudes, burned into your mind in the distant past? Perhaps you are only a tool used to spread the word of the Circle and the Chantry. Does doubt ever chip away at your truths?"

"You frame the statement in the form of a question, yet you already know our answers. There is no sense in hiding, is there? Yes, I do doubt at times. Only the fool is completely certain of himself."

"The Antivan Elf..."

"Is it my turn now? Hurrah, I am so excited."

I had to smile and shake my head.

"Many have died at your hand. Is there any you regret more than a woman by the name of—"

"How do you know about that?" he interrupted, his usual flippance gone.

"I know much. It is allowed to me. The question stands, however. Do you regret—"

"Yes," Zevran said, quickly. "The answer is yes, if that is what you wish to know. I do. Now move on." Seemed the assassin was hiding a broken heart as well.

"The Qunari—"

"I have nothing to say about my past. It is past and shall stay there."

"Very well," The Guardian turned to Morrigan. "And you, Morrigan, Flemeth's daughter. What—"

"Begone, spirit. I will not play your games."

"I will respect your wishes," He turned back to me. "The way is open. Good luck and may you find what you seek." He disappeared and the door behind him swung open.

I led the way through it.

~~~

There were eight alcoves each with a spirit standing in them. The first test. I walked over to the first spirit, who took the form of a woman, who asked me a riddle. Of which I answered correctly, mentally thanking Braylyn for her ever-persistent riddle games.

"You have to answer riddles to find the Urn?" Sten asked. "A waste of time, just like this quest."

"We need Eamon, Sten. The Ashes are the only hope we have." I walked over to the next spirit, a male. And with each question I answered correctly, much to the relief of Alistair.

"You are good at this," he commented.

"We played riddle games as children. It was my sister's favorite pastime." We continued to each spirit and I answered riddle after riddle.

"What happens if you guess wrong?" Zevran asked.

"I don't think I want to know," Leliana said.

I finally answered the last riddle. The lock on the door at the other end of the hall clicked loudly, making us all, save Sten, jump, and the door swung open. We walked through it and down a hall. What I saw at the end of the hall made me stop in my tracks. My heart once again constricted. It couldn't be.

"It's so cold here, Sister," Tamlen said as he turned around to face us. "Do you feel it? The chill eats at my bones."

My mouth worked for a moment before a single word came out. "Tamlen?" This couldn't be my best friend. He was dead, killed by the taint.

"You think: 'This cannot be Tamlen. Tamlen is gone. He is only footsteps in the dust.' I am Tamlen yet I am not. I am part of the Gauntlet and part of you."

I closed my eyes. Yes, Tamlen was a part of me. He would always be in my heart.

"I wish I could have told Tamlen we looked for him," I whispered, fighting the tears threatening to form.

"Some things lost can never be found, some mistakes never unmade. Do you still dwell in the past? You said nothing when the Guardian asked you. Do you even know the answer? I wish you well, Realin. We will not meet again." Tamlen disappeared and I sighed. I hoped the Creators had ushered him safely into the Beyond. I knew I would never see my friend again until I, too, left for the Beyond. I touched the ring from Marethari before I took a step forward.

We went into a room beyond that. And beheld a strange sight. Shimmering forms of ourselves. Our doppelgangers drew their weapons and rushed us. It was odd fighting ourselves. As a double fell, he or she disappeared.

"Okay, that has to be the most unnerving thing I have ever seen," Zevran said after felling his double. Down a hall, we found a bottomless pit.

"Oh, this looks fun! I bet we'll have to work together and join hands and sing a happy song to get across!" Sarcasm was not something I was used to coming from Leliana.

"She's joking right?" Alistair asked.

I studied the chasm.

You will undergo four tests of faith.

The others were all discussing the test. Tristan was laying down, looking bored and Sten was also studying the pit. Then it hit me. This was a test. I walked close to the edge. I had to have faith that there was a bridge that I couldn't see. I took a step over the edge.

"Warden!" Sten called.

I didn't fall. I took another step. It looked as if I were walking on the air itself. "It's a bridge," I said. I crossed the bridge and turned around when I reached the other side. "Cross one at a time."

Once everyone had crossed, we walked down yet another hall and into a room the had a thick ribbon of fire going across the room, blocking our path. Before the flames was a dusty stone alter.

I brushed the dust away to read the inscription. "'Cast off the trappings of worldly life and cloak thyself in the goodness of spirit. King and slave, lord and beggar: be born anew in the Maker's sight.'"

"Um, does that mean what I think it means?" Zevran asked. I heard the lust in his voice.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. This would be interesting. I unstrapped my swords and laid them on the ground next to me. I wasn't very keen on removing my armor in front of the others, but this was a final test of faith. Faith in a god I did not even worship. Slowly, I removed my boots and gloves. Then I laid my armor on the ground. Behind me, I heard the others following my lead until we all were in our smallclothes. I looked over my shoulder, then quickly turned back around.

"Creators, Zevran! You could have warned me!"

Zevran was completely naked. Why did it even surprise me to discover that he wore nothing under his armor?

I took a deep breath and stepped towards the flames. I could feel its heat and I hesitated a moment. This was the final test. I closed my eyes and stepped through the flames. When I opened my eyes, I was on the other side of the flames, unharmed.

The Guardian stood before me, my armor in his hands. "You have been through the trials of the Gauntlet. You have walked the path of Andraste and, like Her, you have been cleansed. You have proven yourself worthy, pilgrim. Replace your armor and approach the Sacred Ashes." He handed me my armor before he disappeared again, along with the fire.

We quickly replaced our armor, I noticing the crimson on Alistair's cheeks, and I approached the stairs to a dais with a large urn and a statue of, I was assuming, Andraste. I couldn't believe I was looking upon the Ashes of Andraste. That I had passed the trials. I mounted the steps.

"I never dreamed I would ever lay my eyes on the Urn of Sacred Ashes. I... I have no words to express...," Leliana trailed off.

"I didn't think anyone could succeed in finding Andraste's final resting place... but here... here She is," Alistair said, quietly.

"I stand in awe. Really," Morrigan said, the same awe in her voice.

"I could not have asked for a greater honor than to be here," Wynne said, softly. "I will never forget this feeling."

"Nice vase," Zevran said. "I should get one for my home."

"Congratulations," Sten said. "You have found a waste bin."

I opened the lid and took a pinch of the Ashes, ignoring Zevran and Sten's comments, and placed the pinch of Ashes into a small leather pouch. "We need to get back to the Arl quickly."