I do not own Naruto, Kishimoto does

Summary: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SASUKE'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND?"

- - -

This is a bad idea, Sasuke thought. A really bad idea! Think of all of the things that could go wrong!

Another part of his mind whispered, Think of all the things that could go right!

So, Sasuke steeled himself and walked over to a girl. A girl that he had been wanting to talk to for the past two weeks.

- - -

"Fugaku, dear, what's wrong?" Mikoto said. She had just finished writing a note to the florist about a new order and was now starting to cook while also going over the clan bills. She shuffled through the bills, then narrowed her eyes, "I still haven't gotten those papers from her yet..." Mikoto sighed and continued her work.

"Sasuke just came home," Fugaku said.

"And?" Mikoto persisted, pouring vegetable broth into a pot and then searching the room for a calculator and pen.

"He said he's bringing a girl over for dinner."

"Really? He made another friend?" Mikoto said with a grin, happy for Sasuke and victorious at retrieving the two items she was looking for.

"I don't think she's a...friend. He threatened me so that I wouldn't do anything embarrassing and that we would be nice to her. Then he went to tell Itachi the same thing."

"So...you think he likes this girl?" Mikoto asked, setting down the two things in her hands and turning on the stove.

"Yes," Fugaku said.

"Oh, honey," Mikoto said, putting a bit of soy sauce into the pot and stirring it with her left hand while writing down some numbers with her right, "Sasuke's seven. I guess he just has one of those cute little crushes that kids get."

"So it isn't serious?" Fugaku asked.

"Fugaku," Mikoto sighed, "of course it's not! Why are you so jumpy, anyway?"

"I don't know what to do! Itachi's never had a crush! Thanks to that, I can safely have him betrothed without feeling like a horrible person! I'm completely lost with Sasuke!"

"Don't worry, everything will work out," Mikoto promised. "For now, let's focus on making sure we don't ruin Sasuke's first chance at a girlfriend! I bet they'll hold hands and he'll kiss her on the cheek and they'll both blush like cute little angels! It'll be adorable, Fugaku!" Mikoto fowned. "Dear, you haven't told me her name yet."

Fugaku blinked, then laughed sheepishly. "I, uh, forgot to ask."

"Fugaku!"

"I'm sorry!"

- - -

Sasuke made a beeline for Itachi's room, determined to make sure that his brother didn't mess this up. Big Brother was so smart in practicality and calculations, but he was clueless in social situations.

"Master Sasuke?" Sasuke turned, brows furrowed. Master? The last person to call him that...

"Gah!" Sasuke yelped, jumping back. "M-Miss Ainu?" He remembered her. A few years ago, she was always around their house, working as his mother's assistant. She always seemed to be swamped with paperwork for some reason. She had left when she had triplets. Sasuke babysat them once, just to get information on Miss Ainu, and discovered that he never wanted to have anything to do with babies.

"Yes, Master Sasuke. My apologies for startling you. If it isn't too much of a hassle...could you take me to Lady Mikoto?"

Sasuke stared at Miss Ainu, then sighed. Itachi could wait a little bit. He had until six tonight, anyway. "Of course, Miss Ainu. Follow me."

They were almost, ALMOST, at the kitchen when Miss Ainu yelled, "Oh no!"

"What happened?" Sasuke asked frantically.

"I left the bills Lady Mikoto asked for at home!"

"Oh...do you need to go get them?"

"Yes," Miss Ainu said, panicking.

"Okay, I'll just-"

"Will you come with me to get them?" Miss Ainu asked.

Sasuke choked. "W-Why would you need two people to get a few bills?"

"Oh, I have some other things that I also need done for your mother and I might need someone else to help me." She paused. "Of course, you probably have something better to do, Master Sasuke, I apologi-"

"No!" Sasuke said, smiling on the outside, scowling on the inside, "I'll come help you! I bet it'll be fun!"

Apparently she didn't notice his eye twitching.

Oh, and Sasuke forgot that her house was all the way on the other side of the compound.

- - -

"Sasuke?" Itachi asked as he came out of his room. He thought he heard he brother's voice in the hallway. He walked into the main hall and saw him walking out the door with...was that Miss Ainu?

"Miss Ainu?"

"Oh, Master Itachi!" Miss Ainu said with a smile. "Master Sasuke is helping me with some errands for Lady Mikoto."

"Oh, if you need more help, I'm always available," Itachi said.

"I'm very thankful, Master Itachi, but Master Sasuke is more than enough."

"Okay then," Itachi said.

Miss Ainu was walking out the door, and Sasuke turned and said, "I'll talk to you when I get back, there's something I need to tell you!"

"Okay, Little Brother," Itachi said.

With that, Sasuke walked out the door. Itachi was about to go back into his room when his father ran out of the kitchen, chased by his angry mother.

"What do you mean you didn't ask for her name!" Mikoto yelled.

"I was a little preoccupied!" Fugaku yelled, diving behind Itachi for cover.

"It was one. Simple. Question!" Mikoto yelled.

"Mother! Stop threatening Father with a kitchen knife!"

Fugaku whimpered.

"And Father, what the heck! Cover me, don't use me as cover! BE A MAN!"

Fugaku whimpered again.

"Now, will someone please explain what you're fighting about?"

"Your father," Mikoto said, "forgot to get the name of Sasuke's potential first girlfriend!"

Itachi choked. "G-Girlfriend?"

"Yes! And your father immediately stopped listening and came to me, complaining! How horrible can someone be?"

"W-Wait," Itachi said, "Sasuke has a girlfriend? He's seven years old!"

"No, Itachi, not a girlfriend, a soon-to-be girlfriend," Mikoto corrected.

"Still! Sasuke's only seven! He's not supposed to have a girlfriend! And why are you okay with this?"

"That's what I thought!" Fugaku yelled from behind Itachi. "She seemed so calm that I decided to go with it!"

"...oh," Itachi said. "I agreed with the grown man using me as a shield." Itachi paused. "I will now go and contemplate my life choices."

Itachi walked out of the house, Fugaku desperately calling for him the whole way.

- - -

"Miss Ainu?"

"Yes, Master Sasuke?"

"We've already got your bills, so..."

"Hm?"

"...well, why are we going in the direction opposite of my house?"

"Well, I told you. There are I few more things I need to do for Lady Mikoto. The first thing is getting some dog food from the Inuzuka-"

"Wait, why do we need dog food?"

"Lady Mikoto said that she was planning something important, and that important thing needs dog food. Anyway-"

"Did she tell you what that important thing was?"

"No, Master Sasuke. Anyway, I was going to pick it up tomorrow, but it's ready today and I figured that I could surprise Lady Mikoto. Also, Master Sasuke?"

"What?"

"I'm allergic to dogs, so you'll have to enter the compound and get the order yourself."

"...fine."

"Thank you, Master Sasuke! You really are the most gracious and humble child on the pla-"

"Thank you, let's just get going."

"Yes, Master Sasuke!"

- - -

"Shisui!" Itachi yelled.

"Wha-Itachi?" Shisui, who was perfecting his aim with throwing both kunai and shuriken at the same time, turned, startled. Unfortunately, that meant that a few of his weapons headed towards who he was looking at: Itachi. "Look out!"

For Itachi, time seemed to slow. Shisui's aim was amazing, even when he threw haphazardly at the wrong target, but it wasn't as fast as it could have been. So, quicker than most could see, Itachi leaned to the side, and the weapons sailed past him, none of them even touching a hair on his head.

Shisui let out a breath of relief. "Itachi! Don't startle me like that! You know that I almost killed you, right?"

Itachi smirked. "Like you could. You know I'm way too amazing for that too happen."

Shisui pouted. "You know, you've acting a lot more arrogant ever since that time you got sick."

Itachi stared at him.

"I don't know," Shisui continued, "but it really feels like something's different. Not that you've changed, exactly, but it's like your filter has weakened."

Itachi continued to stare at him.

"Eh, must be my imagination," Shisui said, finally. "Anyway, whatever you want to tell me, be quick about it. I'm going to work on something after my training that will revolutionize reconnaissance missions- "

"Sasuke's got a girlfriend."

"You know what, revolution can wait."

"Thought so."

- - -

"Who-Wait, Sasuke?"

Sasuke had rang the bell on the Inuzuka Compound front gates. Kiba had been the one to open.

"What are you doing here?"

Sasuke sighed. "My mother ordered some dog food for...well, she won't tell me why."

Kiba thought "she" meant Sasuke's mother, but then Sasuke pointed to the woman on the other side of the street.

"...who's she?"

"She's Miss Ainu. She was, and apparently still is, my mother's assistant. She can't get too close because she's severely allergic to dog hair."

Kiba's eyes widened. "Oh my god! That's horrible!" He placed his hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "Tell her that I give her my condolences."

"...will do."

- - -

"I'm here!" Shisui exclaimed. He had run all the way to Itachi's house (because he apparently forgot that he was Shisui of the Freaking BODY FLICKER) and was barely out of breath.

"Good. Now come on. If Mother hasn't killed Father yet, we might be able to figure out what to do together," Itachi, who was right behind him, said.

"Roger that, Gold Leader. Lead the way!"

"Last I remember," Itachi muttered, "they were in the main hall...maybe they're in the living room now. Also, love the name Gold Leader, let's make that a thing."

"Got it!"

- - -

"Here you go," Hana Inuzuka said, handing two large bags of dog food to Sasuke. He struggled, but managed to carry them. "That's everything your mother ordered."

"Th-Thanks, Miss Hana," Sasuke said, straining to give her a polite smile despite the bags in his hands. And they looked so light when she was carrying them...

"No problem, kiddo! And drop the 'Miss', it makes me feel old!"

"Alright, Mi-uh, Hana."

"There you go!"

"I-I should probably get going now," Sasuke muttered.

"Okay, and be careful! Those bags are heavy!"

"Of course."

"Bye!"

Sasuke walked out of the room that was filled with dog food. Kiba was waiting for him on the other side, Akamaru sitting on his head.

"Whoa, you really need that much dog food?"

"I guess," Sasuke said miserably. "Like I said, Miss Ainu won't tell me."

"Okay then." Kiba led Sasuke back to the front gate. On the way, Kiba said, "So, you invited her to dinner?"

Sasuke sighed. "Yeah. Right now, I'm trying to take my mind off of everything that could go wrong."

"Well then," Kiba said, "think of everything that could go right!"

"...are you somehow eavesdropping on my inner monologues?"

"What?"

"Nevermind."

"Well, Sasuke, know that me, and a lot of other people, are rooting for you. Go wow her!"

"Thanks, Kiba. I guess you're not as stupid as you seem."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Relax, it was a compliment!"

"Yeah, an insulting one!"

"Moron!" Sasuke yelled.

Kiba glared at him. They continued the rest of their walk in silence. Then, Kiba suddenly stopped. He had a giant blush on his face as he slowly turned to Sasuke.

"U-Um, Sasuke..."

"What is it?"

"I just remembered...you're already here and...well, my sister is horrible at this stuff, and my mother is too busy...so..."

"Spit it out, Kiba," Sasuke said.

Kiba squeezed his eyes shut and steeled himself. "Can you...help with my homework?"

Sasuke stared, then, "No."

"But-"

"No."

"Come on-"

"No."

"Help a guy ou-"

"No."

"Your mom!"

"No-wait, what?"

"Please, Sasuke!" Kiba said. "I have no idea what it's talking about!"

Sasuke sighed. "Fine. But I need to give these to Miss Ainu first."

"Thanks! You're the best!"

"And you're a moron!"

"..."

"Can't really argue if you forgot to ask Iruka Sensei for help, can you?"

"I didn't look at it, okay!"

"We had a whole hour to finish our homework at the Academy!"

"Well, I was sleepy!"

"Once again, MORON!"

"..."

"Heh."

- - -

"Um...Aunt Mikoto?" Shisui asked hesitantly.

"Yes, Shisui?" Mikoto said pleasantly.

"Well, I was wondering where Uncle Fugaku is."

"Oh...I'll tell you if you tell me where Itachi is."

"Itachi went looking for Uncle Fugaku."

"Well then, I think he's hiding in the Love Letter Room."

"Thanks! Quick question: Why?"

"I think the knife scared him."

"He's the Uchiha Clan Head," Shisui deadpanned. "Also, what knife?" Mikoto was currently going over notes from...someone. There was no knife in sight.

"He grabbed it and ran off...probably to burn it or something. It might be because that was the very same knife I used the time I nearly beat him to death when he spilled hot tea on me...I guess they're not very pleasant memories."

"Okay then. So, can you please stay here while me and Itachi find Mister Fugaku? We need to discuss the whole 'Sasuke has a girlfriend' issue."

"Sure."

"Great!"

Shisui ran off to get Itachi and find Fugaku who was, yes, ceremonially burning the knife in the Love Letter Room. Honestly, sometimes, Shisui and Itachi question his sanity.

Eh, it makes things more interesting.

- - -

"...and that's why a kunai thrown at a 45 degree angle from that height with those weather conditions would not hit the target shown."

"Wait, that's what it was asking? I thought it was asking WHAT it would hit!"

"Well, no, that would be a Chunin-level question. Wait, you mean that you know how to answer this with all of the jargon taken out? In which case, I could have just told you to get rid of any unneeded information and gone home?"

"Nope, I didn't understand that, either. Still don't. You're a horrible teacher."

"Well, screw you!"

- - -

"I hereby call this meeting to order!" Itachi yelled.

"Note: This meeting is unnecessary, Sasuke is perfectly fine, and-"

"Mother!" Itachi interrupted. "It's not fine! Sasuke is not old enough to date!"

"He never even said that she was his girlfriend," Mikoto said calmly.

"Wait, he didn't?" Shisui said.

"Well, no, he didn't," Fugaku, who was much calmer after the burning of the knife, said. "But it was very much implied."

"So...this meeting is based off of an implication?" Shisui asked.

"Yes, Shisui, it is," Mikoto said as she finished up calculating the total expenses of the upcoming celebration.

"Itachi! You're overreacting!" Shisui exclaimed, turning to said defiant thirteen-year-old boy.

"I'm not overreacting! I saw it in my brother's eyes when he said he wanted to tell me something important!"

"Maybe it was something else! Let's just settle on doing as Sasuke begged us. Let's not do anything embarrassing, just be nice and act like we're not a messed up family," Mikoto said offhandedly.

Everyone else sweat-dropped.

"Oh, and, where is Sasuke?" Mikoto said as she looked up.

"Uh, Miss Ainu needed him for something. I actually offered to go, too, but she said it wasn't necessary. He should be back by now..."

"Ainu? She finally remembered, huh?" Mikoto muttered.

"I guess. Anyway-"

"Lady Mikoto!"

All heads turned to the woman who ran into the room, one hand full of papers, the other somehow managed to balance two huge bags of dog food.

"I'm sorry that I'm late with the bills, but I picked up the dog food that you ordered!"

Mikoto blinked, then smiled. "Thank you, Ainu! Here, let me help you get all of that to Kiku's place...wait, where's Sasuke?"

"Oh, he helped me get dog food, but said he had to help the Inuzuka Clan Heir with something. I had already bothered Master Sasuke so much, and it seemed important..."

"Oh, I'm not mad at you, Ainu! I was just asking! Anyway, come on, let's go!"

"Yes Lady Mikoto!" Before she left with Mikoto, she turned and bowed to everyone else in the room. "My apologies for not acknowledging your presence sooner, Lord Fugaku, Master Itachi, Sir Shisui. I will be going now."

Before anyone could get in another word, she left, a bright smile on her face. Whether it was because she had talked to them or because she finally got to leave, no one would know.

Shisui was silent, then, "Sir Shisui? Do people actually call me that?"

"I thought the same thing when I first met Miss Ainu and she started calling me 'Master Itachi'. No actually. She's a Pure-Blooded and her branch of the family in particular is very traditional...I tried so hard to get her to stop calling me and Sasuke 'Master'. She tried just as hard to get us to stop calling her 'Miss'. Finally, we agreed that she can call us 'Master' and we can call her 'Miss'."

"So...only her branch of the family uses all of these nicknames and stuff?"

"Actually, no. A lot of Pure-Blooded and lower Higher-Class use honorifics. It's embarrassing. Have you really never heard it before?"

"Well, I tend to...not attend any Uchiha gathering that isn't required. That usually means that I won't be running in to anyone who calls me that. I even live in the middle of the Noble sector. I usually use Body Flicker to get in and out of the Uchiha Compound, so-"

"I'll stop you right there, I didn't need that much information."

"Boys," Fugaku said, "are you done talking yet?"

"No."

Fugaku shrugged. "Okay."

- - -

"Hey, Sasuke?"

"Yes Kiba?"

"Are you going now?"

"Yes Kiba. I finished helping you with homework and I need to get back."

"Oh...well, can you sign this?"

"What?"

Kiba held up a picture of Sasuke that looked very glamorous...and photo shopped. Kiba sighed. "My cousin, Midori, blackmailed me into getting your autograph for her."

"...how old is she?"

"Twelve."

"Meaning she's five years older than me."

"...when you say it like that, it does sound very creepy."

Sasuke sighed. "I'll sign it, but I'm putting her on my 'Avoid at All Costs' list."

Kiba shrugged. "I don't really care."

Sasuke grabbed his picture and a sharpie from Kiba's desk, then paused. "I just realized that I'm seven, so I don't have good handwriting, and the Academy glossed over the whole cursive thing..."

"Just write your name on it! If you want to make up for it, put a piece of your hair on it or something."

"...I'll just right my name down." So, Sasuke painstakingly wrote down his name in the neatest way he could. Surprisingly, it looked quite nice. He even drew the Uchiha Crest off to the side.

"Done!" Sasuke said, handing it back to Kiba, who paused.

"Can you give it to her?"

"No!"

"...it was kind of one of her requirements..."

"I don't care!"

Kiba sighed. "I didn't want to do this, Sasuke, but if you don't give it to her, I will make sure that every single piece of information you send to the Underground will be sent back." He leaned forward. "You know I can do it. I am a MID, after all."

Sasuke sat in silence, then spat, "Fine. No wonder you don't really care to rise up the ranks. You've already got so much power!"

"Here's her address," Kiba said, smirking. "It's near the entrance."

"Got it," Sasuke sighed.

- - -

"Y-You're Sasuke Uchiha!" Midori muttered. She had opened the door when Sasuke knocked. "Sasuke Uchiha came to MY house!"

Sasuke sighed, then put on a blinding smile. Time to go into Adorable Mode. It was taught to him by his brother and father, only to be used in dire situations (aka when confronting crazed girls) and honestly, Sasuke thought that he would never have to use it. He was hoping that he could go without attention until he was twelve or something.

Whatever. It's time to figure out how quick he could get out of here without ruining his image as a sweet little boy.

"Hi," he said adorably. "Kiba said you wanted my autograph...so I signed this picture!"

He handed it to her. Her eyes lit up even more. "Th-Thank you!"

Sasuke smiled, his head cocked to the side. "For what? It was the least I could do for getting such a pretty picture of me!"

Sasuke, of course, knew that the picture wasn't taken by her. However, Midori didn't know that he knew.

"I need to go now, my mommy's waiting for me...bye!" Another cute little grin and Sasuke turned on his heels and literally skipped off. When he went around a wall, he did a quick Kawarimi and ended up standing in the house's side yard. He sneaked to the front, the door was already shut, and put his ear to the window. He was making sure she bought it. He knew to never underestimate someone of a higher-rank.

"Mom, Dad!" he head her yell. "I'm going to quit being a ninja! I want to become a photographer!"

Sasuke blinked. Huh. Didn't his brother also drive a girl to quit being a ninja? What was her name...he was pretty sure it was Shinko or something...eh, who cares. All he knew is that his brother still gets dango from the dango shop she works in now.

- - -

Sasuke was happily walking out of the Inuzuka Compound, humming the tune to a song that just wOULD NOT GET OUT OF HIS HEAD...not that he cared or anything.

He made it out...but was ambushed by a toddler. "What the heck?"

"Sorry!" Sasuke glared down at the toddler. Wait...wasn't this the Hokage's grandson? What's his name...

"You're Konohamaru, right?"

"No, I'm Konomaru."

"I think it's pronounced Konohamaru. You know, like the village?"

"No!" Konohamaru shouted. "I'm Konomaru! I'm different from the village!"

"I know you're different from the village," Sasuke said calmly. "But you're also named after the village. Thus, your name is Konohamaru."

"How do you know my name, anyway?" Konohamaru shouted. "I've never seen you before!"

"Yes you have," Sasuke said, now slightly irritated, "I came to the annual dinner that your grandfather hosts every year for every clan head and their family. My father's the Uchiha Clan Head. Remember now?" Konohamaru stared at him blankly. Sasuke sighed. "I was the one you kept throwing udon at."

"Oh yeah!"

Sasuke once again glared at the toddler.

"Oh, and sorry about the glue I got on you!"

Sasuke blinked and looked down. Sure enough, one of his hands was stuck on the toddler's arm.

"Konohamaru," Sasuke said dangerously. "How do you fix this?"

"Uh, I, um, don't know."

Sasuke took in a deep breath. "Whatever. Let's get to my house. I'm sure my brother can figure this out."

"Okay..."

- - -

Sasuke's hand was wrapped around Konohamaru's arm, so when Sasuke was leading Konohamaru to his house, it looked like he was dragging a naughty child somewhere. Many stared, but none had the courage to interrupt them. If the grandson of the Hokage got in trouble with the son of the Uchiha Clan Head, then what were they supposed to do?

So, Sasuke and Konohamaru weren't stopped. That is, until a bunch of feathers fell from the heavens.

Sasuke gasped for air as he broke to the surface of the pool of feathers. "What NOW?"

"Ah, sorry," a familiar voice said from above. He looked up and saw Kakashi Hatake, his brother's former partner in ANBU, and the one Itachi's last Underground mission had been about.

"Kakashi," Sasuke said, "why am I covered in feathers?"

"Well, Lord Hokage asked me to carry a bag of feathers to a civilian's house. It must have ripped when I jumped over you onto the next roof."

"Sasuke!" Sasuke looked to the side and saw that his toddler (that's what he's resolved to call Konohamaru from now on) was also covered in feathers, but unlike with Sasuke, he couldn't take them off.

"Did you coat all of yourself with the glue?" Sasuke asked. His toddler slowly nodded. "Great." He looked up to the ANBU member who was still eye-smiling sheepishly.

"I'll be going now. You figure out what to do with all of these wasted feathers," Sasuke said. He got up and walked away, dragging his feather-covered toddler with him.

Kakashi sighed. "Fair enough."

- - -

Honestly, they were a sight to be seen. The angry Uchiha, feathers on random places in his hair and shirt, and the now unrecognizable toddler who was covered in feathers, made a beeline to the Uchiha Compound, scaring away anyone who felt the need to inquire about the situation.

Until someone scared them. Sasuke let out a yelp, along with his toddler, when someone in a goblin mask jumped out from an alley. "What the heck?"

The man in the goblin mask just handed Sasuke a flyer. Sasuke looked at it. It said, "COME TO THE HAUNTED HOUSE THIS DAY OF DEMONS FOR A GOOD SCARE!" Afterwards there was an address listed, not that Sasuke cared.

"Thanks," he said, "but we really have to go right now." That's when he heard the sniffles. He turned and saw that his toddler was looking at the goblin with terrified eyes.

"Hey," Sasuke said, "don't cry."

His toddler cried. He cried oh-so-very hard.

Sasuke could here the apologies from the man in the goblin mask, but he didn't care. He ran to the Uchiha Compound.

- - -

He had made it inside the Uchiha Compound...and came face-to-face with Mister Jun, Miss Ainu's husband.

"...Master Sasuke?"

"Don't ask."

- - -

Itachi and Shisui were walking towards the door, arguing over the severity of this situation, when the door burst open.

Mister Jun bowed as Sasuke, a crazed look in his eyes, stalked towards his brother, dragging a crying, feather-covered toddler with him. He grabbed the front of his brother's shirt, pulled him down to his eye-level, then hissed, "FIX THIS."

Shisui stared, then muttered, "I'm, uh, going to go now."

Mister Jun once again bowed as Shisui left, then closed the door.

Itachi continued to stare into the eyes of his slightly-insane brother, who actually looked very close to activating the Sharingan...yeah, he was NOT going to let that happen.

"What happened?"

"I helped Kiba with homework," Sasuke muttered as he let go of his brother's shirt, "and walked out of the Inuzuka Compound. Then this toddler," he yanked on said toddler's (who was still crying) hand, "ambushed me. My hand's stuck to his arm. Then Kakashi," he said the ANBU's name like it was poison, "dropped feathers all over us. The toddler was covered in glue. A guy jumped out of the corner and startled us to hand us a flyer for a haunted house, but his goblin mask scared the toddler. Now he's crying." Sasuke looked back up at his brother. "FIX THIS!"

"Okay, okay!" Itachi said. "Come to the kitchen. Let's see what kind of glue we're dealing with..." He stared at the toddler. "What's his name?"

"Konohamaru."

"IT'S KONOMARU!" the toddler managed between wails.

"...he's the Hokage's grandson."

"I know that!" Sasuke hissed.

"...whatever."

- - -

"There you go," Itachi said warmly as he handed a non-sticky, un-feathered, no longer crying Konohamaru a lollipop.

"Th-Thanks," Konohamaru hiccuped.

"Why don't you wait in the Living Room for your uncle to come get you?"

"O-Okay," Konohamaru said as he waked out of the kitchen.

Itachi turned to Sasuke, who was picking the last of the feathers out of his hair. "Now, Sasuke," he said seriously, "I think I need to have a talk with you."

"I didn't mean to drag a sticky crying toddler-chicken through the village streets!"

"No, not that," Itachi said, "I want to talk to you about how you're way too young for a girlfriend."

Sasuke stared at Itachi, confused. "Girlfriend?"

"Yes. You know, the girl you invited over for dinner?"

"Oh, yeah, that reminds me. Itachi, the girl I invited over is Sakura Haruno, a UDC-A. You better not screw this up or it'll ruin all of my chances to convince her that I'm good enough to become a UDC-A so she'll recommend me!"

"...so she's not your girlfriend?"

"What? No! I mean, I'm grateful that she elbowed me in the head and made me smarter, but I'm way too young for a girlfriend. Maybe when I get older..."

"...oh. Eh, whatever. Come on, let's get you changed. You're never going to get a promotion in that outfit."

"Hey!"

"It's just a fact, Sasuke."

"Screw y-don't carry me! I can walk by myself, thank you very much!"

- - -

"Sakura!" Sasuke said brightly.

"Hello Sasuke," she said.

"Let's sit in the Living Room. My mother is still setting the table..."

"Okay," Sakura said calmly. Sasuke nodded and took her to the Living Room. He blinked.

Konohamaru was still in there. He was also still licking his lollipop.

"Sasuke," Sakura said, "is that the Hokage's grandson?"

"My name's Konomaru!" Konohamaru shouted, but Sasuke ignored him.

"Yes, he is! I, uh, was helping him with something. If you'll wait for one second, I need to go check something. I'll be right back!"

Sakura nodded and sat next to the toddler, making small talk.

Sasuke dashed out of the room and confronted Itachi. "Why is Konohamaru still here?"

Itachi nodded, "I was actually coming to tell you. His uncle, Asuma, is off on a mission right now...and the Hokage thought it would be great for Konohamaru to spend time with us. I couldn't exactly tell him 'no', could I ?"

Sasuke sighed. "Okay...Mother and Father know, right?"

"Yes. Mother's making him food, too."

"Good. The last thing I need on my conscience is having a little kid starve."

"Yeah."

- - -

"Thank you," Sakura said as she bowed to Sasuke and his family, "for having me over for dinner."

"Thank you for coming!" Mikoto said.

Sakura smiled. "Of course I came. Sasuke asked, after all."

Mikoto's smile widened. "Well, I must go finish cleaning, so..." she grabbed a clueless Fugaku by the ear, and then sent a glance to Itachi. Itachi nodded, grabbed Konohamaru's hand, and promised to play ninja with him in the living room.

They all waked off, leaving Sakura and Sasuke alone.

"Your parents are very nice," Sakura said.

Sasuke grinned. "Thank you."

"Also," Sakura said, eyebrow raised, "Konohamaru had an interesting story to tell me about your adventure through the village."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "I didn't mean to! It was all and accident! He was the one covered in glue! I swear-" Sakura held up her hand, stopping Sasuke's rant.

"Sasuke," she said, "you're very interesting." She smiled. "I think I'll look into your files a little bit more, see if you're ready for a promotion."

Sasuke grinned the biggest grin Sakura's every seen. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Sakura's smile turned sinister. "And don't think I won't be using this dinner for my benefit."

"I know you will," Sasuke said, "but it was worth it."

"Okay. Now, one more thing." She leaned over and kissed Sasuke on the cheek.

"What was that for?" Sasuke yelped.

"For your parents who are spying on us and can see this whole thing, but not hear it." Sakura winked. "Got to keep up appearances." She waved at Sasuke as she walked out the door. "Bye!"

Sasuke didn't move for a second, then waved back.

He didn't like her, as in like like, but he still liked her. She was a great friend to have. Maybe, he thought, they would date someday. But right now, he had bigger things to think about.

Like whether or not he should yell at his parents for spying on them.

Serious problems indeed.

- - -

"Sakura?"

"Yes, Lord Differ?"

"Your parents are merchants, right?"

"That is correct."

"Good. Tell me when their next trip to Kiri will be."

"Actually, Lord Differ, they're leaving for Kiri in three days."

"Huh. That's convenient. Here, ask your parents to deliver this letter to the address stated. Tell them that it is of utmost importance to make sure this letter isn't intercepted."

"Yes, Lord Differ."

"Good. You may go now."

"Thank you, Lord Differ."

"Your welcome, Sakura."

- - -

Omake:

"You got a girl to quit being a ninja?" Itachi asked.

Sasuke nodded. Itachi burst into happy tears.

"Oh, my cute little brother is so much like me!" he said, hugging said brother.

"Get off! You're suffocating me! SOMEONE HELP!"

I cackled as Sasuke's desperate pleas went unheard. What? A girl's got to have some fun!