Ben didn't sleep at all that night ; he just thought of his beautiful smart wife .

He turned the light in the corner on and sat down in a large chair , pulled some documents that he knew needed  attention and a pen .

He was editing from 3:30 in the morning to 7:15, right when Rey woke up.

"Ben ?" She asked squinting from their bed .

He brought his glasses down , "yeah ?"

"What are you doing up honey ?"

Oh , honey ... it killed him , it was something he had heard his mother say often growing up ... that and idiot.

"Um... I couldn't sleep ... so ... I worked on some papers"

Rey got out of bed , not caring of the cold in the room nor putting her robe on just walking to him.

"Ben , you look like s walking corpse ... you should sleep ... come here , you've been gone for days now... you need to sleep in your own bed and I'll get you something to eat ... come along" she grabbed his hands .

He allowed her to take him to their bed , he laid down on his side and saw her putting the papers and glasses away.

"Rey ?" He asked.

"Hmm ?" She hummed from the chair .

"Would you lay with me sweetheart ?" He just wanted to hold her , or he close to her or just be with her .

"Of course Ben" she patted her feet over to him and dipped into the warm bed .

"You're so wonderful" he said .

"Shhh... go to sleep sweetheart" she told him , running her hands on his arm.

"Rey ... your the best woman I've ever met" he told her.

"Ben , sleep" she said .

"Rey... I -I - I love you" he mumbled .

"What dear ?" She asked not being able to hear him.

"I- I lo-love you Rey ..." he said louder .

He felt Rey's hand stop on him and she sat up "what did you say ?!"

"I love you Rey" he admitted .

"You... you love me ? " she asked .

"Very much sweetheart" he said grabbing ahold of her hands , sitting up himself .

"No ... not you cant" Rey jumped out of bed .

"Yes I can ... sweetheart what's the matter ?" Ben asked getting out of bed himself .

"You ... you just can't !" She said throwing her arms down .

"What's so wrong with me loving you ? What's so wrong with having someone in this world care about you so much ? Hmm ?"

"Ben " she sighed "I don't love you back"

"What ? Rey I -"

"I care about you ... I care about you so much but ... all things that have happened between us ! You stopping my wedding , forcing me to marry you ... killing Snoke ... forcing me to become empress , endless nights of hate sex ... leaving me for Paris ... I can't just forget all those things ... you've said you hated me ..."

"I don't Rey , oh sweetheart I love you much ... I just wish -"

"You think it all goes away ? That I'm going to forget everything that's happened ? Because Ben ... I want to be with you , I like spending time with you or underneath you but I don't like the memories of Kylo Ren" she admitted .

"Rey Kylo and Ben are two different people ! Kylo killed Snoke ! Kylo took you from your family ... Kylo did al that ... Ben kissed you and made love to you and wrapped you in his fur coat ... Ben thought of you every day he was gone , whenever he  saw anything that reminded him the slightest of you" he grabbed her arms and looked deep in her eyes "I love you... and I know it's hard and confusing but you don't have to love me back sweetheart ... just let me know that's there a chance come some day  you will " he asked .

"There's always a chance Ben ... just not now" she sighed . She grabbed ahold of his hands and put them to her waist to hug her . "I will love you Ben ... I'm just not ready to say it today "

"That's okay" he said and kissed the top of her head softly .

-A.N.-
OFF FO SCHOOL THEN REHEARSAL THEN WATTPAD AGAIN !

-Joey