Once I've caught my breath and feel my legs are finally strong enough to hold me up, I start to wander back not really sure where I'm to go.   I wander past Whitstable Castle, it's all locked up but I still walk around and look in through the iron gates.  I'd love to slip in there to hide away, find a corner just so I could go to sleep,  as I'm peering through I hear tip tap steps behind me.  I turn to see Bell a couple foot away, she's found me, I turn my back on her hoping she will walk away but I can hear her coming up closer behind me.  I wish the iron gates would just swallow me in so I could run away and hide.

"Jane please turn around". I pitifully shake my head.  "please Jane just turn around."  I push myself against the rails one last-ditch attempt to slide in and away from her, but the iron stands firm like a cage, instead, I'm trapped on the outside. I slide my hand up the strong iron and admit defeat as I slowly turn around, the first thing I notice is Bell her burning crimson flushed cheek where I had slapped her, I cringe.  I can feel the colour drain from my face with disgust at what I've done to her but I can still feel the anger and contempt for Bell in the very depths of my soul for lying about my mother.

"Why would you say those things?  Why did you say that about my mum being your daughter?"  The silence is deafening between us, I can feel she wants to speak but clearly afraid of how I will react at this point, even I can't second guess how I'll react as I don't feel in control of my own emotions or mind.

"Jane I said it because it's the truth and as hard as it was to hear it, it was even harder to say to you.  I have been looking for you for such a long time.  Do you really think it was a coincidence I was at that train station that very night ?"
But I don't know what to believe anymore, my mind feels so tired all I want is Dad. 

"I know you don't believe me, so all I can do is show you.  Then and only then you will see, will you let me show you ?"  I have no more fight in me, like an old washcloth I'm rung dry and I'm cornered like a rat in a trap, with Bell to the front of me and the iron gates behind me what other choice do I have.

Before I can answer, I hear them before I see them, the low animalistic growls of the feral boys.  Bells' dogs, they slide out of the shadows and slink beside her so fluid-like in their movements it's almost as if they are made up of smoke, their hoods are down and for once I notice they all have black dead eyes.  I look from one to the other but each one is the same then I realise the feral boys were never boys but something else.  From a distance, they would look like a gaggle of teenage boys, not irregular or unheard off in any town or city but up close you see that it is just a disguise they wear to blend into their surroundings.

Bell steps towards me, that's when I realise she's holding something behind her back, she slowly approaches me like a lioness hunting and tracking a gazelle, worried she will somehow spook me to run.  There is too many of them to fight my way past, I know I'd never stand a chance, I'm too busy watching her never taking my eyes of her, I'm unobservant to the fact that they are sliding up closer, either side of me. 

Her face is clear of all emotion, her movements subtle and fluid-like, I press my back into the iron gates but feel the feral boys now so close their breath is warm on my face.  They grab my shoulders, one each side then they pin me to the iron gates.  I wriggle but their grasp is too strong digging in to my flesh, I scream for help but all there is .....is echo of my scared voice bouncing back to me. 

They pull my hand out in front of me whilst pinning the other to the gates, Bell is now in front of me.  "Please Jane, don't fight it, I won't hurt you.  Let me show you".

I hiss at her through gritted teeth.  "Bell tell them to let me go, get the fuck off me!" but the harder I fight the firmer they grip me, their fingertips puncturing  my skin.

From behind Bells' back, she pulls out a knife.  It's an old knife with a wooden handle and has splatters of blood on the blade.  I scream as loud as my voice will allow me, desperate for anyone to hear, to stop her because I have no idea what she intends to do with me.  Bell and her feral boys do not react to my screaming it's as if they know nobody is coming.  My brain is telling me to do whatever, say whatever to get out of this situation alive, to survive .  I start to plead, begging her not to do this, promising I will never tell I soul.  The sweat runs down my back, my heart beating so fast it rings in my ears like the drum roll before the main act walks on the stage, building up the anticipation to what is to come.

She holds my hand;  I flinch with her touch.  She looks me in the eyes and whispers. "It has to be this way, the blood never lies".
Then she slashes across my palm, tears prick at my eyes an agonising yelp slips from me.  She runs the blade over her own palm, not even wincing as it slides through her flesh, she just keeps her eyes solely locked on my mine.  She pushes her palm up onto mine, our hands linked, our blood oozing into each other's wounds, a warm burning sensation works its way into my fingers, pulsating up my arm.  It's like her blood is burning and travelling through my veins hitting every part of my body, burning me inside out.  I wouldn't describe this as a pain but a foreign feeling of every part of your body from your veins to your muscles suddenly feeling as if they are being woken up. 

The burning works its way up my neck and floods into my head, I feel it infect my whole nervous system, my eyes become tired as if my mind is shutting down. 

I grasp at the feral boys, scared I'm going to fall to the ground as my body now does not feel like my own, I catch sight of my hand as I cling on to the feral boy for dear life, my veins are angrily protruding, looking like a road map on my skin zigging zagging with black lines, webbing here and there. 

What has she done to me?  but the tiredness has now become a weakness that is pulling me down and leaving me unable to speak.  Bell cups my face in her hands and whispers to me.  "Child don't fight it, in my blood you will see.  It's my past, my life carried in my body, every moment, every thought, every emotion".
Her words become fainter and harder to hear to understand, her face everything that surrounds us is fading away as if slowly losing focus until there is nothing but black.  I can hear nothing, I can see nothing as if I've simply disappeared into emptiness.