I watch the moon set and the sunrise with my ears pricked for any noise that feels foreign to me. Dad comes in first thing to check on me, he looks relieved to see me awake. He sits on the bed and lists off his breakfast menu trying to tempted me but I'm not hungry, I just ask for a drink. My throat is still sore and hoarse as if I've swallowed rusty nails.

I have the odd visitor as the day whittles on, mostly it's the nosey, gossiping barmaids to make sure I did have a seizure, and not somehow possessed by a demon with a spinning head whilst vomiting green liquid. Nevertheless, it's nice to see different faces and it makes the time pass just that little bit faster.

Bell lingers by the door but never comes in until after lunch, this is feeling very awkward and uncomfortable until I can't take it any longer. As Bell takes out my lunch dishes I ask "Bell are you ok?"

She smiles then mutters under her breath "I'm fine" but  I don't buy it.

"Really  you've barely said to words to me or looked at me" I wiggle myself up so I'm now sat upright the ache in my bones make me wince but I gather up my strength pulling myself up, she doesn't once offer to help it's as if she's scared to come near me. "Have I upset you?" I ask trying to sound calmer than I'm feeling as my body throbs with pain, she looks hurt by this  "Of course not Jane seeing you so gravely ill reminded of me of something I've long tried to forget, you mean far more to me than you realise, seeing your lifeless body in your fathers arms, you looked so small, fragile. I could feel every bone in your body ache with pain of the searing flames that tried to engulf you, rip your flesh from your bones and punishing you for a sin that isn't yours" her voice is shaking with temper, a building silent rage "a sin that has been punished time and time again all because of the need for equality, the freedom to decide one's destiny, to have power over our sex, I should have warned you but I couldn't ".

I try to understand what she's saying to me, to make sense of her angered rant that feels very personal to her, how did she know about the burning that spread through my body? I've not mentioned this to anyone.  She reads my expression of disbelief as if I'd uttered the words to her  "I to have felt the fire that burns you inside out, it'll pass you will be strong once again".

I try to wriggle my way out of bed, I will not listen to any more of this but fall down grasping at the covers to try desperately to pull myself up but my arms fail me, I bang my fists in temper the frustration at myself, frustration that I can't leave "why" I scream "why are you saying these things, always cloaks and daggers Bell but never just fucking spitting it out and when you do speak it's the ramblings of a mad old bitch .... Sins what sins? what could I have ever done to deserve this".

She slowly moves closer to me "you did nothing to deserve this" as she moves closer I reach out and grab her arm to purely pull myself up so I can get up, to try to stagger out of here but the moment my hand clenches around her wrist she screams out in pain I feel the heat build-up in palm the same scorching fire I felt in the church it's spreading through my fingers, she screams "Jane let go" I pull my hand away she falls to the ground like a dead weight clenching her wrist to her chest, the sweat running down her face, glistening down on her upper lip.

I sob no longer able to stand this, I sob for fear of what I've become, I sob that I can no longer hide how I feel from Dad. Everything I've pushed far back in my mind pours out of me and I'm scared I'll drown in my own sadness, I'd fought so hard to keep my emotions locked away to protect Dad, to protect everyone around me that I'd slowly destroyed and broken myself, held together by tiny threads that now feel ripped apart.

I curl into a ball and squeeze my fists the pain pulsates up my bandaged arms, I feel the wounds seep with blood as my body tenses as if squeezing every last bit of anguish out. I hear her voice whispering "enough now Jane, enough" as if she is trying to bring me back from the edge, she repeats this again, I open my eyes to see my handprint burnt on her wrist she catches me looking and quickly reassures me "I'm fine" my sobbing has subsided  now I'm simply left trying to catch my breath "did I do that to you, what is wrong with me" she goes to comfort me then stops herself "there is still some left in you, it will pass in a few days. The punishment can linger but it will go as you grow stronger. When you are well I will explain this all to you".

My eyes can't stop looking at her burnt wrist that has become red and blistered she pulls her sleeve down to hide it "why am I being punished, what did I do" she pulls the covers over me, tucking me in carefully not actually touching me at any point "Sins of the parent passed down on to the child".