Chapter 36 (EDITED)

I'm a monster

"what are you doing here?" I ask

" waiting for you" the alpha responds

I was trying really hard not to look at his chest, or his arms or his abs- oh goddess help me, why does he have to be shirtless now?

I mean he's been shirtless before but I never really noticed until now, I mean I have noticed because anyone with eyes can see how muscular and strong Andrés is.

But I was not into it until the kiss in the cave.., my cheeks heat up at the thought of the kiss.

" Here i am," I say biting my lips, nervously.

His brown eyes were now a golden honey hue colour as they stared at me intensely, i don't know why he was looking at me like that but I felt this strange sensation.

Deep down i liked that he was looking at me. I run my fingers through my hair nervously, why isn't he saying anything?

I decided to speak first because I can't handle the silence " do you want to train?" I ask

"no"

okay...

" we can go to the bonfire if you want?" I suggest, knowing the alphas will be outside doing their weird bonfire party thing they did.

"No"

i raise my brow at the alpha " okay, what do you want to do then?" i ask, yes i was getting impatient.

In a flash Andrés is in front of me " this" he says before he smashes his lips into mine, all the air is knocked out of me and I feel my knees weaken.

Andrés lifts me up as if he knew what he was doing to me.i find myself wrapping my legs around his waist as the kiss becomes more...

my brain was on fire and slowly the fire was spreading to my whole body but before it could spread too far, Andrés breaks the kiss. "Amma, we need to stop" he breaths as he places me down on the ground

" I'm afraid if we continue, we'll mate before the blood moon"

the blood moon is coming very fast, and the thought of mating with Andrés brings back the burning sensation but the whole immortal thing is so scary that it ruined mating with him.

"I want to live Andrés, and I want to die"I blurt out.

it goes quite  Andrés breathing hardens and his emotions are radiating off him, he's confused.

I take a deep breath " Iris told me about how when we mate I will become immortal" I say

"and that's so bad?"

I sigh, not knowing how to say this, whatever I say will come out wrong- how do I tell him that I do want to mate with him and break the curse but I don't want to become an immortal like him?

" Is there any way that we can mate but I stay the same?"

"no, you will become a lycan, an immortal Alpha lycan. You will be stronger, faster, than all the werewolves combined. Don't you want that?" Andrés asks confused

all that sounded great but it still came with a price and I don't think I am ready to accept that, "I don't want everyone I know to die and leave me behind" I tell him

my parents, my friends they will be gone and i will still be here? 

" you'll still have me"

I stare back into his brown eyes, and it kind of helped calm my racing brain. "I'm scared"I tell him honestly

Next thing I know I am being wrapped in strong arms, Andrés is hugging me so I hug him back loving how amazing of a hugger he is.

I bury my head in Andrés neck he smells like the woods, of trees and flowers. " I will always protect you, I will never hurt you and I will never let anyone hurt you" the alpha whispers " I know it's not easy but I need you to trust me"

" I am still scared" I whisper

if I am being honest, I'm scared of our future after all Andrés isn't just some alpha, he is cessair, the son of king lycaon and the moon goddess is his mother for crying out loud.

He is royalty and he is The big bad wolf.

"close your eyes," Andrés says "I wanna show you something"

I sniffle back the tears and close my eyes, I feel Andrés arms around my waist tighten.

"you can open them now"

I do, and the first thing I realise is  beautiful green trees, Andrés arms loosen around me and I look around me my eyes wide.

" I know this place" I turn to him to see a small smile on his lips

I look up to to the wide full moon, last time I was here it was during - was it a dream? I scratch my head confused because this place is so familiar.

The air is rich with the fragrance of leaves and loam, I could hear owls and the stream of a waterfall.

"this is where we first met" Andrés speaks

I stop midway and walk towards where the alpha stood, this isn't where we met. " we first met at the pack when Cameron-"

"no, we first met here" Andrés cuts me off " we didn't physically meet, it's hard to explain but all I remember feeling was this burning pain, I usually don't feel pain so I thought I was dying which is impossible then next thing I know I'm in wolf form standing in the middle of this forest"

now i remember this place, it was real? of course, it is, and the black wolf I saw.. it's similar to Andrés wolf.

" you said my name"I blurt out remembering more of the dream " we didn't even know each other"

" oh that, I knew your name for a while," Andrés says sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck

" a while ago, when I was searching for you, i went to  this witch to help  me and all she found was your name mainly because you weren't even born yet" he frowns

i gulp "how long did you search for me?"

Andrés cups my cheeks with both of his hands and my cheeks heat up " four thousand years" the alpha says "I went insane"

i couldn't believe that he looked for me for that long. i let out a breath " i'm here now" is all i can say

Andrés nods " you are, finally.  "

I look down not knowing what to say, I do want to be with him i promised myself I will try.

"we have a lot of time before the blood moon and before we mate.  I want you to know me, the real me."

I nod and Andrés smiles before he places a small kiss on my lips "how about we play 20 questions?" I ask blushing

"what's that?" 

"I ask you 20 questions and you ask me 20 questions"I explain " and we have to answer all the questions honestly"

"do you want to explore the rest of this forest?" Andrés asks

I nod, and we start our walk to wherever the path takes us "okay, I'll go first" I clear my throat " tell me about your family"

"aren't you supposed to ask a question?" he asks

I roll my eyes " can you tell me about your family?"

"you know most of the story" Andrés shrugs looking into space with furrowed brows " there are ten of us.

there's Mara, Benjamin, Valentina, Anastasia, Xavier, Joshua, my mother the infamous moon goddess. 

Iris and Cameron are the only ones that are around, i am sure they will eventually leave.  My siblings wanted nothing to do with me after cursed them with the bite. 

"how do you know iris and Cameron will leave?" i ask 

from what i've seen they both love and care for Andrés. 

"because I'm a monster Amma,"

Authors Note:

hello loves, how are you doing? I hope you're having a great day/afternoon/night. thank you again for voting and commenting I really do appreciate it!

I'm going out and then I'm going to start writing chapter 38, I will probably post it in a couple of hours or tomorrow.

Don't forget to vote.