Assalam-o-Alaikum!

EID MUBARAK <3

Here is another quick update :)

Well I wept a little on a few places while writing this one :(

Happy Reading <3

CHAPTER 66: Selfish Decisions

Ayesha's pov

"We need to operate"

"Operate? Its not possible doctor! She is in her seventh month.we can not even think about such a step at this critical stage" I argued and Sinai moved a hand through her jet black curls.

"Dr. Qadir! You are not getting it, the bleeding is increasing we can not wait for the baby, it has just gone too...."

"But that can harm both lives" I cut her through, almost smacking my hand over the table. "you can't do this she is...

"Ayesha! Even if we are not going to operate both lives will be lost" Sinai stated, trying to convince me.

"there is a constant minor bleeding am afraid its heading towards a....." Sinai took a pause, she hesitated to state anything harsh or hurtful in the presence of Shehryar. "Hemorrhage" she added and I looked at him who was sitting there as if he already knew what she was about to say.

He looked tired, weary....just about to get shattered.

But that can not erase the harsh remarks he passed about me....he is still boastful and full of himself.

Agar ye Heer k husband na hota to is ki dobara shakal bhi na dekhti.

"But its just a couple of weeks left Dr. Sinai! Why can't we wait when we have waited that long all those months?" I stated, she sighed deep, looking at my left where Shehryar was sitting all silent.

"Just give me two more weeks, just let the seventh month pass by and I will operate her. I give you my word" I tried my best to convince her, to make out a way to save her baby...for whom she has been struggling so much.

"Its not possible" Sinai stated firmly, I hated her at the moment. She was a mother herself. How could she even not understand Heer's position.

"But the baby can't die, why don't you....

"If this can save Heer's life, I don't have any objection Dr. Sinai!" Shehryar spoke in the middle of my statement and I looked at his face completely dumbfounded, even Sinai had a tint of disbelief in her eyes as she stared Shehryar's flat emotionless face.

"Am sorry! What did you say?" I couldn't believe what he just said.

"I said if the surgery is important and Heer is loosing her life because of the baby then go for the operation" he explained, looking straight in my eyes and I frowned.

"Your wife has been fighting with life and death for this baby Mr. Shehryar Asif! Her struggle her sacrifices mean nothing to you?" I asked in disgust and he looked away from my face.

For a few moments I stared his flat, plain face where I could see no emotions at all.

"fine" I looked back at Dr. Sinai who looked helpless herself. "if I am the only one here who cares about the baby then....I guess am nobody" I stated and got up from the chair.

"Other than being a doctor I don't have any right over Heer's life and those who have the right, have taken the decision already" Looking at Shehryar, I picked up my lab coat and hung it over my arm.

"Before the operation I have to get few tests done" I informed Dr. Sinai and turned to leave the room, where it became difficult for me to even breathe.

SHEHRY'S POV

She left the room and I let a deep breath out, it felt suffocated here in the four walls. I wanted to get up and run out from the room and kept running in the air, I wanted to get disappear somewhere, so that I will have to know nothing....i will have to feel nothing.

"Shehryar! Heer's hemoglobin has fallen just too bad. We need an instant blood up" Sinai looked at me and I nodded.

"I will arrange."

"Let me check in the blood bank, but am not sure we have O negative here in the stoke or not" she stated, picking up the phone placed on the side of her table and pressed a couple of digits.

"hello! Its Dr. Sinai from neurology wing, I need you check up for an o negative availability" she stated and then went quiet for a few moments.

"Oh! Okay. Thanks" she hung up and looking at me pressed her lips together.

"We don't have it Shehryar!"

"I will arrange" I said and got up from the seat to leave.

Coming out I informed Hussain about the blood and he started calling his friends for donation but just nobody had the same match.

"Shehry yar! Khurram bhai ka blood group yei hea I think" Hussain reminded me atonce and I felt like aray of hope. Dialing his number I waited for him to pick up but it went unreachable.

"Unreachable" I looked at Hussain who frowned. "try Nosh" he suggested and I dialed her number.

"Hello! Nosh its Shehry"

"Nosh! Khurram bhai phone call nai receive ker rae, isn't he here?" I asked before she could even greet me back.

"Kia? When? Oh!"

"kia hua?" Hussian tugged over my sleeve asking and I shook my head.

"nai that's okay, thanks. Allah hafiz" I hung up feeling like defeated already.

"He is not in New York, will come tomorrow" I told Hussain and he moved a hand through his hair. I almost fell on the seat feeling hell worried.

"Chal! Tension na le. Allah ne chaha to donor mill jae ga. Mein pata kerta hoon friends mein" Hussain pressed my shoulder assuringly before he walked past me, dialing numbers over his phone.

Ya Allah! Koi to rasta dikha de. Tu he madad ker sakta hea. Tu he bacha sakta hea meri Heer ko.

Calling one person to another, I almost dialed every number I had in my contacts or I ever knew but I don't know what Allah had written for her in her fate, just no way out sighted.

"Hussain! Tu yahan hea, mein ja ker pata kerta hoon, maybe we will get it in some other hospital" I stated.

"tu ruk yahan Bhabi k pas, mein jata hoon" he quickly got up from the seat but I made him sit back pushing his shoulders.

"Beth ja Saley!" I said. "In fact you should go home" I suddenly felt embarrassed, his marital life was ruining because of me as well.

"Shehry! Am okay" he pressed my hand assuringly and I looked at his face. He smiled a little. "ja tu!" he added softly and I nodded my head.

~~~~~~~~~

For next few hours I checked every single person but couldn't get any help.

Ab to serkon ki khak bhi chan li....ub kahan jaoon Ya Khuda! Kun le raha hea itna imtihan?

Nai is qabil k terey imtihan mein poora uter paoon. Bus ker de ub ye aazmaish, ye takleef.

I was finally driving back to the hospital when Hussain called.

"Shehry! Blood has arranged. Wapas aa ja" he stated and I literally let a long sigh of relief out.

"Ya Allah shuker tera"

"Chal come soon, Ayesha needed to see you" he informed me and we hung up. Reaching back to the hospital I parked the car and almost ran towards the building.

A nurse was just about to enter in Heer's room as I reached there.

"Nurse!" I stopped her and she looked at me. "How is she now? Can I see her?" I asked panting and she nodded.

"yes, you can" she stated and before she could say another word I beat her to the door and stepped inside.

She was lying in the bed, her eyes closed and an IV was supplying blood into her body. I slowly walked towards her.

Its leading towards hemorrhage

We can not wait for the baby....

you have to take a decision Shehryar!

I felt literally tired...wrecked as I stopped near her bed and looked down at her pale face, she really looked as if no blood was left in her body.

"Dr. Qadir wanted to see you. You have to arrange for the operation" the nurse on duty stated and I looked at her.

"when is it?"

"Tomorrow morning" she replied. "Dr. Qadir's operation shifts are normally at night though, but she changed for some reason" she added and I remained quiet looking down at Heer again.

"Your wife is lucky her blood got matched with Dr. Qadir's herself otherwise its difficult to arrange an o negative' the nurse stated casually and I frowned, looking at her face.

"Dr. Qadir?" I exclaimed in disbelief. "she gave her blood?" I asked and she nodded, looking a little confused at my confusion.

She left and I just stood there still absorbing what she just told me.

I bent down and kissed her forehead, her skin was cold and numb....gave me a sick feeling. I pulled back and left the room.

Hussain was standing there, Maheen was there too and I could read what was there in the eyes; complaint, disapproval for my behavior towards Ayesha. I knew it was a little too much but if my bad behavior keeps her at an arms distance from me, then its perfectly fine I guess.

"I need to meet the doctor" I informed them and walked past, towards the elevator.

Reaching on the concerned floor, I walked towards her room and knocked on the door before pushing it aside.

I looked inside and found her in her chair, with her head resting back and eyes closed. I knocked again a little louder and her eyes flutter open, she looked into my direction. I felt her expressions changed instantly as she looked away from my face.

"Come in"

I walked in and before she could offer I pulled out a chair and sat down.

"Thanks for th....

"The operation is tomorrow morning Mr. Shehryar!' she cut me through and I felt embarrassed even more. "you have to arrange the medicine by tonight" she pushed a prescription towards me ignoring my expressions.

"And I need you to read the consent form carefully and sign it, before the operation" she added.

"Consent?" I frowned.

"you have to take responsibility Mr. Shehryar!" she replied and my frown went deeper. "am just a doctor and am doing my job, I don't want to take any emotional responsibility of the child or mother in case of any kind of loss" she explained, she didn't look like that Dr. Ayesha I used to talk to in past few months.

"Is..." I gulped the lump in my throat as I looked away from her face, trying to come up with words. "is the baby....." I looked up at her face may be she will understand what I was trying to ask.

"Seventh month is not so suitable for delivery Mr. Shehryar" she stated in a professional tone. "there is a lot of risk involved but your wife's bleeding has increased and so, we don't have other way out"

I looked down at the consent form, there was complete silence for a minute or so. My vision getting blur and I felt she cleared her throat a little.

"I remember Heer once told me, taking no risks in life is the biggest risk" I stated almost to myself.

"we can just save one life Mr. Shehryar! Think wisely" I looked up at her face, her eyes were shadowy as if she was about to cry and I blinked my eyes.

"I will" I stated and got up from the seat, I turned to leave.

"Shehryar!" she called and my feet halted, that professional artificial tone was suddenly nowhere, I turned and looked at her.

"The way Heer has loved you nobody could have and nobody will be able to do so. Ever' she stated.

"in past few months I have learned a lot from her, patient se ziada inspiration ban gai hea Heer meri" she stated with a low smile and got up from her seat. "you are lucky Shehryar! Not everybody is blessed with such love"

"And nobody can take her place" she added and suddenly that incident came in my mind, Heer was already too upset for my behavior towards her.

"Look am sorry for tha...

"Don't be" she cut me in the middle. "and don't think that I am giving you any kind of explanation" she added with a frown.

"am just saying what I felt. And I felt one thing more" she said crossing her arm as she looked at my face.

"I felt that you are a very self admiring, boastful and high on yourself kind of a person" she said and I frowned.

I didn't see that coming.

She took a few steps towards me. "lerkiyan shaid kuch ziada he pasand kerti hen tumhen" she said with a straight face. "or shaid aj tak tumhen koi aesi lerki nai mili jis ne tum per mar mitney ki khuwahish na zahir ki ho" she added in the same tone.

"but trust me Mr. Shehryar Asif! Mera ap per merney mitney ka koi irada nai. Am not in that huge line of your fans who drool on you" that was a slap on my face. Maybe I deserve that.

"Maybe you should come to realize that there are girls out there who don't even know who Shehryar Asif is, and they, if by any chance come to know you...please don't accuse them for something they haven't done" she literally had a little disgust on her face and I felt like disappearing. It was the first time I was being embarrassed in front of a girl.

"back then I came to know about you because my parents knows your parents and even today, if I am letting you stand here with in a few feet distance its just because you are my friend's and my patient's husband" she added quiet seriously.

"so whatever crap is there" she pointed her index towards my head. "just keep it to yourself" and pressed her lips in a thin line, I wondered how could she insult me without loosing er temper or even her cool.

"I wanted to apologize for that..." I trailed off.

"I told you no sorrys no thank yous. We are nobody to each other, so its better that we just respect this relation" she pressed a smile and I sighed inward, nodding a little.

"jo jagha tumhari zindagi mein or Rehmat ki zindagi mein Heer ki hea. Wo koi doosra nai le sakta Shehryar!" she assured me.

"Kia ferk perta hea koi rahe ya na rahe? Ranjha to kal bhi Heer ka tha aj bhi Heer ka he hea" she smiled and I gulped down, I tried to smile back before leaving the room.

HUSSAIN'S POV

Maheen was standing outside the room in the hospital; I saw her wiping her face as I walked towards her. Reaching near her I found her in sobs. "Mahi!"

"Mein shaid kabhi kisi se aesi muhabbat na ker paoon jesi Heer ne ki Shehry se" she stated, looking into the room from the glass window and my gaze followed hers, Bhabi was lying in the bed motionless.

"muhabbat to khushiyan deti hea na Hussain!" she looked at my face, her eyes were puffed and blood shot, my heart skipped a beat. "ye kesi khushiyan hen? Ye kesi muhabbat hea. Q meri samajh mein nai aata Heer ka koi bhi faisla?" she asked, tears slipped down her cheeks and I pulled her into myself, she hugged me tight sobbing.

"Sshh! Calm down Mahi! She is going to be okay" I tried to calm her down but she pulled back, sniffling.

"Kash hum kuch ker patey Hussain!" she stated and I cupped her face in my palms. "dua ker saktey hen Mahi!"

"chalo shabash! Ander chalo and stop crying" I wiped her face and kissed her forehead, holding her hand I turned the knob and stepped inside.

Mahi stood near Mahrukh whose face was drenched and soaking in tears already.

"So gai hea shaid. Heer beta!" Mom touched Heer's forehead softly, bending down a little while standing near the bed. Saira Aunty was standing on the other side reciting something quietly.

Her limbs trembled a little as she tried to move in the bed and her eyelashes shivered trying to open the lids, but her eyes remained closed.

"Heer! Meri bachi!" Saira aunty caressed her cheek as she shook her head faintly, as if she was in pain.

"Amaa!" it was a faint voice came out from bhabi's mouth, her lips were perched and face as pale as the pillow cover under her head.

Suddenly a whimpered was heard and I looked to my right, finding Mahrukh standing there sobbing silently, Waqas was wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Mahrukh! Sshhh! Stop crying she is gonna be okay"

"She is awake Mahrukh! Tum aesey ro gi to usey kon himmat dilae ga?" Maheen stated firmly and Mahrukh rolled her lips inward trying to stop her whimpers coming out from her mouth.

"Amaa! Buhat dard ho ra hea" Heer stated wincing faintly, her eyes were still shut and face stiffened as she tried to move in the bed Aunty's face was soaking in tears already. Mom caressed bhabi's head.

"Meri jan! sab theek ho jae ga, bus thori der or phir dard khatam ho jae ga" Mom stated and bhabi gulped down, her body was turned into bones and only bones a simple move showed her hidden skeleton under the skin.

"Heer!" Mahrukh walked towards the bed and held Heer's hand. "Heer aankhen kholo! Look at me" she urged but her head leaned back in the pillow, the veins over her temples were protruding already as if would burst anytime.

"Aunty kia hora hea isey?" Mahrukh looked at Mom worriedly. "aesey q ker rai hea ye?"

"Shehr...." Bhabi tried to call Shehry, Mom looked around in the room he was no where.

"Shehry kahan hea Hussain?" she asked.

"Pharmacy" I told her.

"Shehryar!" Bhabi called his name in pain and her eyes flutter open, she looked up at Mom and held her hand in her grip her face showed panic.

"Amaa! Amaa! Rehma- Rehmat ro rai hea" She stated in panic and Mom shook her head, trying to calm her down.

"Usey le aaen hamarey pas Amaa!" She looked to her left at her own mother who was hardly containing herself.

"Amaa! Shehryar ko bula den, please!" Heer tried to get up from the bed, she seemed totally lost her face wet with tears.

"Heer! Leti raho. Please!" Maheen stepped forward and together they tried to lay her back on the bed, but she just tried to get out of the grip.

"I will call the doctor" Waqas stated quickly and left the room.

"Shehryaar!"

"Shehryar ko bulao" Heer screamed and I gulped the pain down in my throat.

"Hussain please! Call Shehry. Bulao usey" Maheen almost shouted looking back at me, tears rolling down her cheeks and I stepped out from the room.

My chest was thumping with heavy heartbeats, coming out in the lobby I let that tear fall down as I shut my eyes and leaned with the wall at my back.

Ya Allah! Rehem ker de. Rehem ker de merey Malik!

I called Shehryar and he came within 10 minutes, bringing all the medicines for the operation. He handed the bags to the nurse on duty.

"you have to arrange for the blood as well" she reminded him and he nodded. Khuram bhai will be back to New york in an hour or so hopefully and Inn shaa Allah the blood issue will be resolved.

Shehry stepped in the room and I followed him, Mom was sitting on the sofa placed in one corner, Aunty was still reciting something every now and then blowing up on Heer's face and body and Maheen and Mahrukh looked up at Shehry and stood straight as if were waiting for him.

"Kahan reh gaye thy beta?" Mom looked at him frowning and he walked towards the bed, in kind of a trance, he didnt even reply Mom. i guess he couldnt hear anything at the moment.

"Mom! I think we all should go back home now, Shehry hea yahan Bhabi k pas" I looked at Mom.

"per beta! Subha operation hea, ghar mein wesey he dil ghabrae ga mera"Saira aunty stated and I pressed an assuring smile at her.

"Aunty! Subha ap ko yahan lana meri zimedari hea, ap fiker na Karen"

"wesey bhi Amaa! Yahan sab ko nai choren ge. Ghar jana pare ga. Ap kal aa jaiye ga" Mahrukh said to her mother who reluctantly went silent.

I walked towards the bed, where Shehry was standing staring down at Heer who was sleeping after getting a dose. "Dihan rakheen" I pressed my hand over his shoulder and felt him sighing deep, he didn't look away her face neither said anything. He looked worried.

"Mein rukta hoon tere pass, Waqas will take them home" I said, he shook his head.

"Ja tu ghar! Thak gaya hea" he looked at me, I tried to protest but he silenced me.

"Am fine, if I will need you I will call" he stated and I nodded my head.

"Beta! Surah Yaseen perhtey rehna or phookna Heer per" Mom instructed him and he nodded his head lowly.

We left the hospital, leaving Heer and Ranjha behind.

HEER'S POV

Opening my eyes with great struggle I felt the pain had lesson already, my heart wasn't even jumping inside my chest anymore and the fear...all the fears were gone far.

I moved my head a little to my left and here I was; face to face with the reason of that calmness, that unexpected solace, Shehryar.

His hand was gripping mine firm while his forehead resting over my arm, he slept like this? I tried to pull up a little to check the time in his wrist watch but my neck was badly stiff and head heavy not letting me move at all.

I brought my other hand and my fingers touched his hair.

It was strange how even in deep pain and affliction his presence could bring peace to my ragged weary soul, to my wounded body.

I gulped down leaning my head back in the pillow trying not to cry, not now. Shehryar felt my movement and he pulled back at once.

"Heer?" his voice heavy and tired, I looked at his face and pressed a smile. His eyes boring into mine searching something.

"kesi ho?" he asked, holding my hand even firm as he caressed my face with the other and I shut my eyes, sinking into his touch.

"no matter how hard I try, I can never wash away the moment I first saw you Shehryar!" words came out low, my eyes still shut as those memories flashed across my mind. His knuckles were caressing my jawline.

"I can still feel the pain" I opened my eyes and found him looking deep in them already.

He got up from the chair and sat on the bed near me, holding my hand he leaned in and kissed the back of it softly.

"Us din bhi ap ne hamara hath aese he tham liya tha. Mazbooti se, or hum buhat ghabra gaye thy" I looked down at our hands.

"Q?" he asked lowly and I looked up at his face.

"Humein laga agar thori der or hamara hath ap k hath mein raha to kabhi chura nai paen ge" I told him what I felt at the moment years back and he smiled softly.

"Matlab merey iradey hamesha se he mazboot thy, right?" he remarked mischievously despite the pain struck features that smile looked heavenly on his face and I smiled back.

There was silence for a few moments, I could feel his heartbeats, and my pulses were racing.

"dard hea abhi bhi?" he asked after a long silent pause and I shook my head, trying to hold back my tears, avoiding his gaze upon my face.

"did you sign that consent?" I asked hesitantly looking up into his eyes and felt his expressions changed.

"Let me be selfish for once, Heer!" he replied, pain evident on his face, I tried to pull up from the pillow.

I wanted to hold him once as close to my heart as I could. I wanted to suck all that pain from his heart.

He held my arms and I sat a little straighter on the bed.

"up till now I have died for so many times already. But every time I end up with you" he remained silent.

"I want something Shehryar!"

"Ask for my life...anything Heer!" he looked straight into my eyes, it felt his gaze was looking into my soul.

"I want a promise Shehryar! A promise that you won't stop living"

"A promise that you will never stop smiling" I raised my trembling hand up and with my index and thumb I stretched his lips into a smile.

"I can't promise you that" he stated and I exhaled deep, I felt tired already.

"people don't die when they stop breathing Shehryar! They die when they are forgotten and I believe you will never forget me" I boasted and he placed his finger over my lips.

"You are not dying" his words were firm but his tone betrayed them. A tear rolled down my cheek and his gaze followed it down to my lips.

"You will die. I will too" he stated like a threat and I smiled, shaking my head.

"No body dies with anyone, death only makes us stronger. I don't know maybe I will survive and stay with you for the rest of your life but then again...there is another maybe as well" my sentence ended in a whisper and his forehead wrinkled with a thousand frowns.

"doesn't mater I will be with you or not Shehryar! I will be right here" I pressed my palm over his chest.

"Doesn't mater you will hear my voice or not, I will be there around you, listening to you, looking at you...loving you like always" tear escaped his eye and he leaned in wrapping his arms around my waist pulling me into himself and I held him close to my heart.

"Hum buhat muhabbat kerty hen ap se Shehryar! Itni muhabbat k ye zindagi kuch bhi nai" I let my tears fall down and felt his breath hiccuped I could feel him crying over my shoulder.

I wrapped my arms even tighter around him.

Who knows that might be our last hug....a last good bye!

AYESHA'S POV

Next morning.....

"Ayesha beta! What happened? You have hardly touched your breakfast" Ma touched my hand asking softly and I looked up at her.

"Am not feeling like eating anything Ma!"

"Hum to pehlely he kehtey hen Zeenat sahiba! Ap k hath ka jo maza tha wo kahan in cooks k hathon mein bhala" Dad stated making a face and Mum shook her head.

"Acha bhala khana banatey hen cook, ap to bus rehney he dejiye"

"Batao beta! Kia bat hea? You look pale" she asked again and I sighed deep, my heart was in constant pain, appetite lost and heartbeats quicker than normal.

"Nothing Ma! I couldn't sleep the whole night" I stated, Heer's face appeared in front of my eyes.

"yeah you came back real late, all fine at work?" Dad asked, this time seriously and I shook my head.

"Heer is going to be operated today" I told them.

"Brain surgery?" Dad asked and I shook my head."C section"

"Kuch din pehley Asif se bat hui thi, buhat pareshan lag raha tha wo bhi" Dad stated.

"Sab theek ho jae ga Ayesha! I have never seen you that tensed for any case" Ma pressed my hand a little more as she asked and I looked up at her.

"Heer is not just a case Ma! Dost hea meri. In past few months she came so close to my heart, I just felt like I have got a sister in her" I stated.

"and I know... I know the operation is going to....." I halted in the middle, my heart ached even more.

"she has fought for her baby Ma! Just so that Shehryar gets his own child. I have never seen a wife like her, who is ready to sacrifice everything" my eyes itched. "i have never heard of such love before."

"she is so brave, I envy her sometimes"

"Those who are brave are never afraid of dying my love" dad stated and I looked at him, he was smiling softly.

"because their death is for a cause, a cause larger than life" he added patting the back of my hand and I just stared his face.

I never thought this, Dad was right, Heer's was not dying in vain. Her death was larger than life.

"They don't see in life, what they find in death" dad quoted a dialogue from a book I loved a lot.

"yeah! Just like that story, maybe Heer is also the hero" I stated.

"And heroes never die" Ma said and I smiled, she caressed my cheek with love before pouring my glass full with juice.

"come on!" she raised it to my lips. "apney hathon se apney bachey ko nashta karaoon gi aj" she said and I just couldn't refuse this time.

I finished the breakfast quick; I had to get ready for the hospital.

how was the chappy people?

My heart aches..... :( :(:(

Stay tuned for the last chapter...for the end  of TCTMH :( :(

Love you always :)