I held Mark close his breathing growing stronger, I smiled as his eye lids fluttered. He looked up at me, a smile played at his lips, the drug had reached his mind and artificial happiness had filled his body. The high was strange, although he seemed to smile his eyes were full of pain.

"You.. You should of left me, you should of let me die! Is it to hard to ask to just die. You know the pain how can you let me suffer through it!" Tears streamed from his saddened eyes as his voice rose with every word. "Please... Just end it" he mumbled softly his body had sagged and sobs ran through his body gently.

Tears built up in my eyes as i look down at his pale face, "Mark I.. I couldn't just let you go, without you I'd be... I'd be lost" I whispered as he placed his hand on my cheek, the intoxicated smile returning to his face.

"I... I can't do this, it tears me apart! Every time that poison runs through my veins it destroys me. For years I was the keeper, I gave that shit to whoever asked. I poisoned them, I poisoned you. I watch them fade, every day they grow weaker." Tears flowed freely from his sunken eyes, they were hopeless. "I just want it to end"

"Mark, I choose this they all did, it was our only option" I explained as I grabbed his hand squeezing it gently. "Mark please don't give up". His sobs faded as he sat up, he smiled softly as I helped him to his feet. He was exhausted the pain of the last eighteen hours had taken all of his energy. I helped him to his bed and tucked him under the covers.

"Don't... Don't go" he mumbled sleep tugging at his brain, his hand gripped my sleeve, "don't leave me alone". I looked over at his frail form, his delicate eyes met mine. I couldn't walk away, that look tugged me back, I joined him under the covers holding his hand gently. 

Sleep took him quickly and his gentle snores filled the room. I smiled and let the soft rhythm fill me, peace consumed my mind as I drifted off into a dream.

Darkness overwhelmed me, I was alone, the cold wind cut through to my bones. Rain fell soaking my thin coat, it was a month after the fire. My family's funeral came and went, they became memories within a broken mind. Every step I took required excessive energy. Exhausted I wandered into a small cafe slumping down into a couch.

"What would you like" asked a rosy cheeked waitress, I flashed a well practiced smile and ordered a coffee. She rushed off to fill my order. The coffee shop was small and a fire crackled in the far corner. Although to the normal mind it was comfortable and cozy, to me it was full of memories. I'd sip tea here with my sister every Saturday morning discussing the previous week. My mother would buy me a new mug from here for my birthday, every year. It was pain. 

I ran, my coffee forgotten. This was when I decided to start anew. I took the first bus I found and left. Everything I one knew was behind me.

I woke when the shivers rushed through my body. Mark's embrace was warm but the itch was growing in strength. My body trembled and the injuries from the previous night started to throb. My body ached as I rose to my feet, every beat of my heart sent more pain pulsing through my chest.

"Damnit!" I cursed as I stumbled out into the hallway, I needed a dose. It was 4 am, the house was empty and the him of the overhead lights filled my head. Damnit! I checked the door of Jackson's office. Locked. I knocked a few times, no response.

Thr numbness began to spread through my veins and I fell to my knees, I needed a dose. I just couldn't fight the pain anymore, pain consumed my actions. Every breath was pain. Pain. Pain. I dragged myself across the floor resting against the wall. I clenched my jaw against the pain. My mind and body disconnected and a fogginess filled my head.

"Hmm look what you've become" came a seemingly distant voice. I moaned softly in response, it seems all I could do is just sit here and die. Broken, dependent on synthetic joy. A hand fell heavily on my shoulder sending more pain through my body. The man looked down at my trembling form, although his words were mocking his eyes were full of pity.

JB was one of few members of Jackson's crew who wasn't hocked on the itch. His position was unclear but it seemed that whenever something went wrong he was there to pick up the pieces. He had a background in medical sciences and seemed to never sleep. He held out his hand and flashed a quick smile, I took it and heaved myself to my feet.

"Came with me alright" he offered wrapping his arm around my waist providing stability. We made our way down the hall slowly, every step was agony, and the hallway seemed endless. Finally we arrived at the final door, he opened it and lead me inside.

"Sit down I'll go get the shit" he instructed as he riffled through the drawers. I sat on the cold white table, I guess every gang needed the overly sterile medical room. JB stopped searching and stood in front of me, he was beautiful, his eyes clear, his skin smooth and seemed to glow.

He was focused as he took my arm and gently kneaded the skin on the crock of my elbow. A sharp sting followed as he pierced my arm with the needle, with the push of the plunger the poison entered my veins. The pain subsided replaced by synthetic joy, a intoxicated smile formed on my lips as I relaxed against the chair.

"Better" JB asked as he sat across from me, he looked exhausted, he always did. Having to deal with us and our addiction must be taxing on him. He was responsible for everyone in the house, that included Jackson and his main six, Jessica and the woman, and of course the slaves. I was a slave, to the drug, to Jackson, to their little organization of low lives.

The drug continued to pump joyfully through my veins, energy replaced  the exhaustion. I needed to move, I left the room quickly, nodding once as I passed JB. I needed air, I needed to escape. I reached the street and continued to walk quickly. The cold wind hardly pierced my skin, and tears fell number down my cheeks.

I hated this, I hated the drug, its destruction, its effect. I just wanted it to vanish, fade without killing its host. My body has become completely dependent on its power, its energy. Without it I am nothing.