Dedicated to everybody whoever has, is or will be studying biology. Good Luck

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34) Insert Evil Laugh

I never expected scheming to be such an exhausting activity. Yes, I have come up with a couple brilliant revenge plots in my short lifetime but they have never been this serious.

Plotting someone's specific payback aka 'giving them what they deserve' takes a lot of brain power. See every individual has different traits, dislikes and fears that all come together into the equation of the perfect scheme. It's all about finding the right combination of irony, classiness and payback.

There had been an occasion where I didn't think my plan through very well. I tried to hide some meat under someone's chair then release a dog, hoping the dog would knock them over. My plan didn't work as the guy saw some gum on his chair and swapped it with mine. You can probably guess what happened next...

I was hoping that staring at a blank whiteboard would somehow make all my creative juices flow.

My aim was to have different ideas written on the board in different colours and then have corresponding folders with diagrams, photos and all the other cool stuff spies and secret agents have in a top secret folder.

This wasn't happening anytime soon because of a wonderful thing called procrastination.

Me and Zoe started strong; we got out all the colourful textas, string and random pieces of paper to stick on the board to make it look like we're professional.

Then we realised that we get distracted very easily. This was after Jeff, the pizza guy, deliver our pizzas and got into an in-depth discussion about water bottles. From there it went downhill, we started to Youtube clips about revenge, sadly it only came up with the show. Youtube was a rabbit hole we couldn't get ourselves out of.

"Why does it smell like a pizza parlour in-" Charlie stops in the doorway and takes in probably the most beautiful sight in the existence of mankind.

Zoe and I mid-chew, surrounded by boxes of pizza with a blank whiteboard behind us and our laptop blaring the llama song.

It now that I realise how big the board is, I don't even know how we got this massive thing into my room.

"All I have to say to whatever is happening in front of me is, Why?"

Wiping my face for any crumbs or grease that's left around my mouth I open up the next box "Well we needed brain food so I bought the most obvious option."

"Pizza" Zoe finishes with cheese pizza still in her mouth.

"Yes. I can see all the pizza. I was more concerned why there are at least 7 boxes in here. I would ask if you're having a party but we all know you're as social as a tree in a forest."

"There are 10 for your information. And happened to strike a deal with the pizza guy on the phone, he loved me so much that he gave us a couple extra for free. And for your information I'm a very social person, I'm just selective about who I waste my time talking to."

"Mackenzie," my mum pokes her head around the corner of my door "some of your friends have come to see you."

Friends? I look between Charlie and Zoe befuddled.

"But my friends are already here, they're standing in front of you," I gesture towards my friends sitting on my bed.

"No, I mean your other ones silly."

PJ and Lee stride into my bedroom like they own the place and find a place on my bed (which isn't even that big). They shouldn't even be in the house, I really need to have a conversation with mum about who she lets into this house.

Mum steps into my room "What are you up to in here? Looks like you're planning something, oh is it a surprise party?"

My friend's eyes flicker around to each other, trying to synchronise lies to come up with.

"Well we are actually planning an evil revenge plot to get back at Josie because we don't like her and she is the spawn of the devil cross ogre."

"Oh, that's nice honey. It's good to hear you're being proactive and working towards a goal. Have fun with that just make sure not to do anything too illegal okay?"

I give her a thumbs up. Nothing to illegal, I can do that.

"Why are you guys here? Wait how do you know where I live?" I aim my question towards the two intruders making themselves comfortable in my room. I am now realising that this room is not built to hold 5 people.

Lee gets out his phone and scrolls through "It said we were having a revenge plotting party with pizza in the group chat so I caught a lift here with PJ because apparently, Sam has a life and isn't my chauffeur, whatever that means," he hands me the phone and I scroll through the messages. Why have I still not been added to this group?

"Seems like you guys won't be leaving anytime soon so I'm now stuck with you." I massage my headache that has just appeared. I'm going to need a lot more than pizza to get me through tonight "if we all put our heads together I think we could come up with something so epic it'll be put on Wikipedia."

They all look at me in awe.

I have that effect on people sometimes.

"So we have a Pinterest guru for creative ideas, an environmentalist /bad boy that does dangerous stuff all the time," PJ tries to make a comment but I continue anyway "who will make sure we're not going to kill the earth or ourselves."

We all nod agreeing that staying alive is very important.

"A crazy person who insane enough to execute the plan with flare, an inside man that everybody loves and knows people back to front and we also have Lee."

Lee looks like a little kid who just missed out on getting a lollipop "You're just so special that you don't even need an introduction. You're our secret weapon."

A grin lights up his face "I'm special?"

"Very." We all say in unison.

"Okay so as we've got all that sorted I need so ideas, you guys got any?"

The room goes a bit too quiet for my liking. Well, this was a flop; maybe I should have just hidden her bag in the gym storeroom.

"Z always has good ideas, take it, girlfriend," Lee says enthusiastically.

"Don't call me that and never say that again. Like ever," she gives him a deadly look.

"Noted" he distances himself from her.

"We need to get into her head and creature her worst nightmare," PJ asks a good question that makes us all think a little harder and Zoe scoots a little closer to him.

"I like how you're thinking but I'm not sure that scaring her to death is the best option. Murderer isn't the most attractive thing to have on a resume. Plus I'm not sure where we'd dump the body."

"What about chemicals" Zoe suggests "I've got a key to the chemical storeroom. We could come up with a concoction which makes her-"

"Explode!" Lee yells

I am truly worried about him; he cannot be left by himself.

"No, I was going to say lose her hair."

We are definitely going off track right now. Everything sounds too big and overly complex, I also don't want to be cleaning up afterwards as that is just too much effort.
"Too much boom." Charlie, being the sensible one, is definitely against blowing people up (too many body parts to pick up afterwards), "We need to keep it short and sweet. What does she hate more than anything in the world?"

An unladylike snort comes from my direction "I can give you a list if you would like. Where do you want me to start? Let's see; carbs, human beings, emotions, she has a weird thing with stickers, birds, oh and she refuses to wear the colour blue as it washes her out. That's just the tip of the iceberg."

He shrugs "That's a start at least."

From here we start to make ingredient lists that involve the colour blue, carbs, a human soul and sticky stuff. Do you know how hard it is to find something that's sticky?
Google becomes our best friend, giving us many suggestions on how to make blue spaghetti cupcakes to why cows have so many stomachs. Okay so we may have slightly gone off subject what can you do when you only look on the first page on Google (you know you're desperate when you go to the second page.)

After what feels like a lifetime we start to stick things on the board and the plan starts to come together.

"So I believe that Josie has one period after lunch and then she can leave. See she won't be able to skip that class as she is failing it and on her final strike. Another bonus is none of her minions will be there as there is a cheerleading comp this week which they are competing in," Charlie stands out the front next to the board, he is using a stick that he found in the backyard to point at things.

"Our school does cheerleading?" Zoe and I ask together. I'm personally offended that they never asked me to join. I would make a great addition to the team.

"Sure, not the point, anyway this means she'll be left defenceless and will most chance be clinging to some poor guy. This leaves us with the question of how far do we want to go and how much shock should we leave her in?" The way that he is saying this so calmly is freaking me out. I want to know who he killed to get all this information.

"You're kind of scaring me, Charlie." I take a small step forward, inspecting the board which now has a map of the school and where Josie will be at specific times of the day "How do you know all this?"

"I have my sources," he says mysteriously.

"Like mustard and bbq?" I'll give you one guess to pick who said that.

"Yeah. Going back to the main point, I feel like our plan is fairly solid at the moment, we could add a couple other things in later on if we're up to it but for now, I think we're good."

I think this is the part when I'm supposed to insert an evil laugh.

We all put our hand on top of each other "Okay on three we break and go do our part of the mission. 1, 2, 3. BREAK!"

"BOOM CHUCKA LUCKA!!"

We also made an executive decision to stop questioning what Lee says as he will never make sense.

I pull Charlie aside as everybody spans out to do their part.

"Did you end up talking to Jess about everything?" I ask him, secretly hoping we're over and done with this mess.

"Ahh yeah, we sat down and had a long, in-depth chat. I told her what was going on. She was super nice and understanding about it all."

"So we are in the clear?" Hope in laced into the question.

"Pretty much" He looks like there's something else he what's to say but he decides against it.

That's good enough for me.

***

"Ninja turtle walkie-talkies?" Everything was getting set up and we thought walkie talkies would be a good investment. Sadly when we gave the task to Charlie to find them what we get instead are kids walkie talkies, most chance bought from Toys-R-Us.

"Corey wants these back in one piece okay. These are like her babies; if you get a scratch on one of them you will be dead within the next 24 hours," Charlie carefully hands me Donatello's head.

When I first turn it on all I can hear is static, that is until a voice crackles from the speaker "Eyes are on the target. I repeat I have eyes on Josie."

"I hear you loud and clear Zo" I wonder if this is how it feels to be a real spy.

Zoe is stationed out the front of the indoor lunch area while I'm hiding near the storeroom where our concoction is waiting with Charlie.

Saying concoction makes me feel like a witch. I wanted to be a witch for a little while because of my obsession with Sabrina the teenage witch. Then I realised I'd be a terrible at it as I can't spell or-

"Are you there Mac, I see another figure with Josie. I'm not sure who it is. I think it might be time for me to get my eyes checked."

"Just zoom in with your camera," I suggest, we don't have time for Zoe to go blind.

"Copy that" I hear shuffling in the background "You were right about the guy Charlie."

"Who's the unfortunate soul she's feeding on this week?"

"I don't want to know. But it looks like he's having the time of his life. PDA GUYS have some respect. I don't want to see you guys sucking face. That poor unfortunate soul doesn't know what he's getting himself into"

"Ohoh his face is turning it's-" the line goes flat

"Who is it?" I wait for a reply. Still, nothing "Zo are you there."

"Yeah I'm here."

"Phew. I thought I lost you for a minute. Who's with her?"

"Doesn't really matter. A male is a male."
"Zoe I swear I will come around and beat you with a paddle pop stick!"
It goes silent again. I really don't like the sound of this. "Fine I have to do everything myself."

I saunter over to where Zoe is standing. All she can do is look at me with sympathy. What's up with her today?

My eyes scan the area trying to find where Josie is sitting. But now I'm realising I should be asking who is she sitting on? My heart stops for barely a second when I see Josie making herself comfortable on Sams lap. I can tell you that I also hold my breath for that second as well.

That second feels like a lifetime.

I'm frozen in my spot. I still don't understand why I feel this way.

"Sorry hun I didn't want to say anything," Zoe lays a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"It's fine. I'm not really that bothered. He's not even a friend. If he wants to snog my archenemy then he can go right ahead. I don't care. Not one bit," something pulls at the bottom of my stomach but I ignore it, I have a mission I need to complete and nobody, especially Sam, is going to get in the way.

I turn to Zoe and shake off any feeling of doubt. We both start walking towards the art room "I'm sending my new companion Angela who I met in Biology to go get Josie and inform her that the prom committee needs to see here. When she enters the room we will throw the contraption on her."

"What's in there," Charlie asks in disgust as we collect the two buckets we hid in the storage cupboard. I stir the concoction with a large wooden spoon I stole from the Cooking classrooms. "It is a combination of noodles, spaghetti, blue food dye, maple and golden syrup. So pretty much a bucket of Josie's biggest fears."

I hear footsteps in the distance "Ready? Get in positions quick, I can hear her approaching. On my count. One ,two-"

The door swings open and we unleash the sticky blue noodles.

It's after we've both thrown our buckets when we realise that Josie is definitely not the one standing in front of us right now.

Sam takes a deep breath before asking a very good question "Do I even want to know what this is?" he keeps his eyes closed, probably to prevent anything from getting into his eye. Or maybe his eyes have been glued shut by the syrup. I should start running now while he's blind and can't catch me.

"Depends, as long as you're not allergic to wheat, dye or any type of sweet syrup I think you should be fine. Mostly" I slowly start to back away.

"I should stop asking questions I'm never going to get the answers to," he mumbles to himself.

"I guess you could say you're in a sticky situation..."

He is not amused.

Cupcake Theory #34

Think through every step of your evil revenge plots as you never know when they will backfire

:):):)

Today has been a long day.

My laptop crashed which meant I lost some important things I didn't save ( lesson still not learnt). Then I got saturated by the rain as my umbrella thought the best time to randomly shut would be as soon as it started to rain torrentially.

But all is good in the World.

May have gotten slightly distracted by Tangled but I made it

3 Things I'm thankful for

-3000 reads. That's a big number ( Still unsure if this is happening.) 

-The little microphone in earbuds as I have discovered I can write and walk at the same time without running into things

-You guys aka the readers aka one of my biggest motivations. I adore every single one of you guys. Even if I haven't talked to you or if you're one of them, silent readers. I love you and appreciate you all. You are the reasons why Wattpad feels like home. 

YOU ARE LOVED

Until next time

Lots of extra toppings pizzary love

Theforgottonone