20) A Loonngg Weekend Ft 'Wait What?"

When Sam mentions that there are creatures called couch bugs that live in his lounge, my first thought is that he's just bluffing.

He is trying to leave me paranoid that something is moving underneath the pillows. To make me believe that I'm going to get bitten by these creatures and probably die from a disease that I can't pronounce. To leave me unable to fall asleep because I overthink every situation.

He succeeds. I get hardly any sleep and when I finally wake up from my very short nap (because it definitely felt like something was biting me) I find small red marks running up the side of my leg.

So he wasn't bluffing, that's good to know.

Walking down the stairs this morning is a struggle as my back aches from the multiple positions I had to lay in last night. The smell of bacon crackling in the frying pan lures me to the large tiled kitchen.

I'm surprised to find myself greeted by a warm hug and a stack of waffles with bacon.

I sit down at the round marble table with Sam's parents and notice that Sam is not at the table with us. He also wasn't still asleep in his bed when I left the bedroom. Maybe he was abducted by Aliens in the middle of the night.

I'm not complaining, if I can avoid him for the rest of the weekend I think I might actually enjoy myself.

When the kitchen door that leads outside is flung open I know I've spoken too soon and dreamt an impossible dream. Sam struts through the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge before sculling the entire thing.

"Mum, Dad" He gives his parents a cheerful greeting then he looks at me "lump of human matter."

Nice to know that I've been downgraded to a clump of atoms.

"Sam, for the sake of your parent and most importantly me, can you stay at least 3 metres away from us until you have a shower. Your sweat stench is making my eyes water; you seriously stink like a boys locker room. Go rub flowers on yourself or roll in some dirt, I don't really care. As long as it covers up this," I motion to his sweat-stained clothes and slightly soaked hair. I never knew a human could sweat so much from just going for a run.

Ignoring all of what I just said Sam sits opposite me smiles. "How was your sleep last night? I hope you weren't too uncomfortable."

"Just peachy, sleeping on the couch was an experience I'll never forget," the kinks in my back are evidence enough.

"You slept on the couch?" Sam's mum furrows her brow with worry, "I thought that you guys would just share the bed. It's big enough for two people" I feel like she is trying to hint at something.

"Mackenzie insisted that she would sleep on the couch. See she has a condition where-"

Not wanting him to go any further I interject "I punch people who wake me up." The family stares at me intrigued "It's a condition they haven't been able to cure yet," I dig back into the bacon waffles savouring the combination of salty and sweet ignoring the odd stares.

***

Avoiding Sam isn't as hard as I thought it was going to be as the property his family owes is huge. I plant myself under a tree with a blanket and read a book from their large collection for the entire day without being disturbed.

Though the peace doesn't last long as dinner may have involved a couple insults between Sam and I, awkward silences and an almost food fight when Sam 'accidentally' spills mashed potato on me. Such a waste of good food.

After showering and getting potato bits out of my hair I throw another 3 blankets on top of the couch to stop the evil critters from eating me, I try to settle into the makeshift bed but can't seem to get comfortable with springs stabbing into my back.

Another problem is that the couch is too small for me (and that's saying a lot considering how short I am), laying down my feet hang awkwardly off the edge.

I lay staring at the dark ceiling still unable to fall asleep as I watch time slowly pass by. Why do I get the uncomfortable couch while he gets to sleep on the Super King sized bed?

"Psst, hey Sammy, are you asleep?" I whisper trying to get his attention.

A groan comes from the opposite side of the room "No, I was practising skydiving." he says sarcastically. "See I would be asleep if somebody didn't keep asking me stupid questions every 2 minutes," he complains making a valid point there.

Trying to adjust myself on the makeshift bed I seem to only find more ways not to lay down "I can't get to sleep with the thought of all the rats and hobos that have touched this thing. I could die from all the infections that probably live in this bed," I shiver from the disturbing thought.

"Not my problem. Now shut up and go to sleep otherwise I'll knock you out myself," the sound of shuffling sheets leaves the impression that it was the end of our very short discussion

I fidget in silence unhappy with the sleeping position I try to roll over on my side but instead I end up on the floor. Really? Well, on the positive side the ground seems to be more comfortable than the death trap he wants to pass off as something you can sleep on. He is definitely out to kill me.

The peaceful silence of the room is disturbed by a terrible noise that could only come from one source.

It's a dreadful combination of deep breathing and snoring. I'm going to be honest and say it's one of the worst sounds I've ever heard and that includes nails scraping against a chalkboard.

If I smother him with a pillow will the unfortunate sound will stop?

"Good to know that you're having a good night's sleep. It might even improve your constantly grumpy mood. I've got a question," I turn towards the bed "Why are you always trying to annoy me and get under my skin? And don't say something cliché like 'I actually really like you and wanted to get your attention'. I understand that I sometimes provoke you but I'd like to point out that you started this whole thing when you thought it was a good idea to push me down a flight of stairs when we met for the first time. It wasn't a great first impression-And I'm talking to myself."

I look over to the corpse like body on the bed.

Hmm, I wonder...

"Sammy boy, I have a confession.... sometimes I don't actually feel like punching you in the face, sometimes I want to kick you in the shins," I say in the calmest voice possible.

When there is no reply I take that as a sign the coast is clear and sneak up to the other side of his bed. Slowly flipping the corner of the doona up I slip into the soft bed.

Don't mind if I do.
I immediately sink into the cloud-like mattress, now this is more like it. Scooting to the edge of the bed, I make sure that there is a decent amount of space between me and Sam "Now that wasn't too hard was it? I'll be out of your bed before you even wake up so you don't have to get your panties in a twist" relaxing into memory foam I sigh in comfort "I like you more when you're asleep. Maybe I should put you in a permanent coma."

The bed engulfs me into a warm and comfortable world of sleep. Even though there are many thoughts crowding my head I decided that I'll get back to them tomorrow.

The darkness is peaceful and overwhelming. Addictive is the world where we have no cares. Where dreams are already reality. The place where we feel safest even though it can only last for a short time.

Then something will rattle your world. Will turn it upside down and make you question everything you once knew. Shakes it to the core and wakes you up from your slumber so you can-

"OW! Did you just punch me?" A voice comes into my hearing range as I reluctantly wake up. Looking to see where the cry came from, I find Sam lying on the floor beside my side of the bed.

Sitting up I stretch and let my eyes adjust to the morning light streaming through the blinds "I'm like 99% sure that I told you that I'm a light sleeper and that I punch people who wake me up."

"Have I ever told you that you're crazy? What was I supposed to do when I find a somebody else asleep in my bed?"

I sigh heavily, it's too early to be arguing "Firstly you have reminded me more than once about my slight insanity. Secondly, you let the person sleep because that's the obvious and courteous thing to do. I've already suffered enough trying to sleep with you snoring like a pig to get 'corner of the bed' privileges !"

"I think you mean like a baby piglet," he tries to negotiate.

"Nope, it sounded like Darth Vader was trying to strangle a big fully grown pig. It's quite disturbing to listen to. Now if you don't mind, there is a stack of food with my name on it downstairs." Jumping out of bed and over the semi-dead Sam on the ground, I make my way to the room with good food.

***

The sun shines down on the beach, the light reflecting off the crystal blue water making it shimmer. It is nearing 2 pm and the day is starting to warm-up.

I consider if going near the ocean with Sam around would be a good idea. But after careful contemplation that if he tries to drown me I'll just drag him down with me, I change into my swimmers and find my way to the dock with a notepad and pen. Maybe I'll finally get some peace and quiet.

I see the jetty in the distance the only problem is that there are 3 people there as well. As I get closer I see Sam and two orange shapes that seem to be girls. I sit down behind one of the pylons and trying not to be noticed.

When something steps in front of me blocking my sun I slowly look up to see one of the girls with an unimpressed look on her face "Umm excuse me, person who needs to take it easy on the cake," the other blonde walks over to us "this is a private property, you can't be here"

One day God. All I ask for is one day that I don't have to talk to anyone. Is that so hard?

Settling my notepad on my lap I deeply sigh "Actually I'm forced to be here against my will because your boy Sam over there kidnapped me and is now holding me, hostage here while the rest of his gang 'The Rat Bags' comes around to kill me."

The girls look at each other and back to me "Are they hot?"

"I just told you a gang is about to kill me, and out of the entire story, all you wanted to know was if the gang members were hot. What kind of world do we live in? I was kidding by the way. I'm sadly a family friend of Sir Jerk Mcjerk and voila I'm stuck here for the weekend. Now leave me alone carrot sticks, your fake tan fumes are polluting the fresh air," I flip my sunnies over my eyes and continue writing. By way their artificially orange faces start to turn red I can tell they aren't very happy.

"Sam do something about this-this abomination," she shrieks. I look to see Sam holding back laughter

"Don't worry babe she won't bother us, will you Mackenzie?" his eyes burn into mine. I mimic his actions.

Deciding that writing will be a dead end while the three stooges are here I look at today's entertainment.

The male specimen puts his arm around the two distracted females and slowly drifts his hands little too low for the narrator's comfort. The homosapiens don't seem to be doing anything interesting so the narrator will take it into her own hands to make something happen.

I do the only thing a mature person would do to find entertainment. I start throwing pebbles at their feet; it's funny to watch the girls squeal when they feel the slightest movement. After getting bored with rocks, I tried to send the tiny crabs their way (note to self: crabs need more training before world domination). I then tried to splash water on them but I end up getting myself wet instead

He turns around and rolls his eyes. The glint in his eyes challenges me, Is that all you've got?

Knowing I'm going to have to pull out the big guns I finally resort to plan XLS (extra large splash!)

I take off my sundress, lock in my target , one stupid male rubbing lotion on two human carrots and take a running start towards the edge of the jetty.

"Cannonball!" I scream. As I hit the water with a bang I hear high pitch squeals behind me.

Success!

When I get out of the water I go back to my spot to find both girls are gone. Finally some peace and quiet. Before I can pick up my notebook another hand snatches it away first.

"Why oh why will you not die

I hate you, Sam, I want to make you into dead Jam

You infuriate me

You are the bane of my life

Why do you even exist, you're like an annoying cyst

Why oh why will you not die"

Sam looks up at me impressed "I feel honoured that you would write such wonderful things about me, though it's not one of your best works," he keeps flicking through the book

I try to grab my book from him but he is too fast "Give it back," I whine, I'm not in the mood to do this right now.

He takes a step forward as I take a step back when I hit the pylon "what if I don't want to" He takes another step almost eliminating the small space between us.

He is in my personal bubble. I don't deal well with these types of situations "I have a not really sort of boyfriend," I blurt out without thinking, my body tenses up when his eyes evaluate my face.

He gives a breathless laugh "Oh, you guys are that serious are you?" he seems to lean closer.
"I don't understand why he chose you."

"My alluring charm. Sense of humour. My baking skills?" My mouth seems to have a mind of its own.

"Nope can't be any of them. You're just so-" he pauses for a second to find the word "plain."

Something hot starts to boil in my stomach. There are so many things running through my head right now. Plain? Not worth it? Why me? "You push me over the edge sometimes," is the odd sentence that comes out through all the confusion.

What I'm not expecting is a response "Well if you insist," Sam takes that as his cue to literally push me over the edge into the water.

Ok that is the last straw. I can't deal with him anymore.

I swim to shore and wring out my now saturated dress

As soon as I get changed I'm going to get Sam's mum to drop me at Zoe's house. I can't be here anymore.

I trudge across the beach, collecting sand on my way.

All I need is a hot shower then I can go.

"Mackenzie wait up," a familiar and unwanted voice comes from behind so I start to walk faster.

Sadly because of how unfit I am plus my short stubby legs he catches up with me with ease.

"Mackenzie can you just listen for a sec?" he keeps up with my pace as he walks beside me.

"I think I much prefer ignore you," I say being honest. Before he can start talking I cut him off "you might think that was all a bit of fun to tease me or provoke me. But I don't really find it that funny. So can you please just leave me alone from now on. My life is surprisingly starting to look semi-decent. I've got good friends, I haven't injured myself severely in like 3 months and I have a guy that's being nice to me. Sam, you are not my bully or my bad boy in a leather jacket. All you are is a minor inconvenience that doesn't know how to leave."

Sam is taken back by my outburst. Confliction runs through his eyes as he backs away and starts muttering nonsense to himself.

"I'm right here so you might as well just say it to my face," Crossing my arms I wait for Sam's great input in my life. This'll be interesting.

He drags his hand across his face before sighing "For a smart person you can be really blind sometimes you know that. You're so desperately looking for this thing called love that you can't even see what's happening right in front of you. It's sad to watch you be strung along by some blonde haired idiot that we all know that you are too good for. Sorry to break it to you but your prince charming isn't as perfect as you'd think. Nobody's perfect. Sometimes you forget that," His low voice fills the quiet beach.

I'm taken back by his comment "You don't need to start quoting Hannah Montana to get your point across" The ground seems like a really nice place to stare at right now.

"He never liked you. It was just a bet to see how long it would take to get the little clumsy nerd to kiss him," the calmness in the voice almost distracts me from what he just said.

Almost.

"Can you repeat that again?" I barely whisper.

He takes a step forward so we're a couple feet away from each other "It was all a bet. He never liked you," he says quietly, my body goes slightly numb.

My voice turns into a whisper "You're lying. You're just playing games with my mind. It's a really crummy joke you know that? It's low even for you."

"I really wish I was lying but I'm not. I'm sorry that you had to find out this way but you're Mackenzie StClair for goodness sake. You will soldier on, you will push through the pain, you'll woman up," Sam's enthusiasm is slightly worrying.

"You are telling me to woman up?" I surprisingly feel like laughing   with that said I turn on my heel and head towards the house ignoring my name that is being called from across the beach.

There is a bed and a tub of ice-cream calling my name.

Cupcake Theory #20
Yesterday is history(because I can't remember what happened)
Tomorrow's a mystery (sadly I can't tell the future, otherwise I'll be avoiding any surprises)

Today is a gif (not gift) it will be repeating itself in my head for the rest of my life

:):):)

20 Chapters and I'm still alive

This chapter is over 3000 words. I started to write then it sort of just kept going

3 unexpected things that happened this week
- I spilt 1kg of dry cake mix through the car ( not fun to clean up)
- 'The Cupcake Theory' ranked #468 in humour (I thought wattpad was broken then I almost had a mini heart attack)
- I got llama bed sheets which are pretty amazing

Anything interesting happened this week with you?

I just want to say how amazing you guys are (it was in the top 1000 for humour for the entire week!!!) I don't deserve you guys
I love you so much

Lots of super king sized bed love
Theforgottonone 😴😪