me : do you wanna build a snowman?

Captain America : no

me, kicking in the door : STEVEN

me : WE'RE BUILDING A FUCKING SNOWMAN

-

*my funeral*

Zoo boat man : I'll never forget Char's last words before she fell off that ladder and broke their neck

Bee : what did they sad?

Noah : "Steven Noah Theo Rayleigh, stop shaking the fucking ladder"

-

Robin : yes, I make a lot of bad decisions that put me in danger

Bee : and?

Robin : no, that's it

-

Dinner plate shield man : MOTHER BEE THERE'S A MONSTER UNDER MY BED

me, on the bottom bunk : honestly fuck you

-

cashier : that'll be twenty dollars

Mushroom : ah, sorry I don't have the money

cashier : then I'm sorry to say, but I can't sell this to you

Steven with a v, sliding a $20 bill across the counter like it's a bribe : how about now?

cashier :

me : Stevie stop fucking with the civilians

-

me : studying? more like student dying

Bee : are you okay?

me : I have been awake for 103 hours

-

Noah's ark : so if anything, it's kinda your fault that I'm here

Bee : what did you just say to me?

Noah : I take that back-

-

me, trying on a new skirt : how do I look, Captain America?

Steve, without looking up : with you eyes, Charlotte

-

me and Stevie :

-

me : come on, you can do this, go talk to her

Stevie : okay *goes up to girl* hello

girl : hi

Stevie, pointing at me : my friend thinks your cute

✨  that's what friends are for ✨