-when Lauren gets her heartbroken-

Bee : so, what do we need to do about *name*?

me, Sunny, Angel and Snek : kill her

Bee and Lauren : no!

Lauren : but we can still get revenge

-

Lauren the night before a road trip : *kicks down the door*

Lauren : WE RIDE AT DAWN BITCHES

-

someone : you know you can die from that, right?

Bee and Lauren, smoking : that's the point

Angel and Sunny, drinking alcohol : we're trying to speed things up

me and Snek : *eating raw cookie dough while nodding*

-

all of us : depression and anxiety is a bit like radiation. there's always a little bit in the background, but not enough to kill you. then once in a while you get a free trip to Chernobyl

-

me : if I had a dollar for every time I though about you, I'd only have one dollar cause you're the only thing I think about

Angel, voice breaking, holding back tears : have fun being broke, idiot

-

kidnapper : we have your daughter

Bee : I don't have a daughter?

kidnapper : then who the hell just asked for toast with peanut butter and a glass of milk?

Bee : oh god they have Char-

-

Snek : I saved your life, doesn't that mean you owe me some sort of debt now?

me : nope. I'm your problem now. God wanted me dead and now you get to find out why.

-

nurse : and would you rate your pain for me?

Sunny who is barely even breathing : zero stars

nurse :

Sunny : would not recommend

-

Angel : Charlotte, I love you

me : dude, shut up. that is awesomesauce!

Angel :

-

Bee : me and Lauren have decided we want kids

me, Angel, Sunny and Snek : oh congrats-

Lauren slamming adoption papers onto the counter : it's all four of you, sign here