-when I have kids-

kid on the phone : you forgot to pick me up from school

me : who the fuck is this?

-

one the Crackheads™ : I will fight anyone who insults my friends

another one of the Crackheads™ : lol I suck

one of the Crackheads™ :

one of the Crackheads™ : alright square up you hoe

-

Angel : why is it whenever I want to have fun, it's wrong?

Bee : people die when you have fun, Angel!

-

Snek : do you ever fall in love?

Lauren : ten times a day

-

me and Angel : *walk in holding hands*

Sunny : so who finally confessed?

Angel : it was me. I made sure it was short and sweet.

me : you yelled "listen here you little shit, I have feelings for you and it's about time you acknowledged them" from the roof

-

Snek : let's have a coffee break. fifteen.

-fifteen minutes later-

Snek : I meant fifteen minutes. not to have fifteen coffees.

Angel, vibrating slightly : WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE SPECIFIED

-

-once again, if we all lived together-

Lauren : dammit, the power went out

Angel : don't worry I got this

Angel : *shakes rapidly and starts to illuminate*

Sunny : what the fuck?

Angel : I swallowed a flashlight

Bee, about to have a heart attack : WHY WOULD YOU-

-

me : I love how we use the "oh man" to express disappointment

me : because men are , in fact , disappointing

-

me : are you a thief because you stole my-

Angel : sorry, I'll give you back your wallet

me :  ....heart 

-

Lauren : do you smell that?

Sunny : smell what?

Lauren pointing at me and Angel as we gaze into each others eyes : sexual tension