Cars lined the street leading to Chrissy's house. Sarah let out a swear because, of course, she was wearing shoes that pinched. I tapped my black Chucks together as I got out of the car, but they didn't transport my home like Dorothy. Instead, the butterflies in my stomach grew into pterodactyls.

"I'll call Danny and see where they are," I tried to stall.

"He'll call when they get here. You already worked it out." Sarah was a little too eager to see Jacob for my liking.

I Just wanted to hide. Luckily, Sarah's shoes made the walk longer.

"No one has called to get details on the break-up. Do you think..." Sarah's voice faded out.

I hadn't thought about people not knowing or the missing spark of gossip not igniting the expected wildfire. We hadn't been with people from our high school when the blow-up occurred. Only a few people knew, and Sarah alone went to Willsden. What if no one knew? What if Jacob thought it would just blow over? Icy panic rolled through me, making my lungs painfully constrict. I was already walking into the unknown, but now there was a worse case than social annihilation. I was expecting to be branded the cheater and exiled, but having to pretend I was still with Jacob made my throat burn with acidic bile.

"Em," I heard my name from between the cars as my heart sank. Jacob popped out of a passenger-side door. "Em," he called again with an unmistakable air of hope. "Em," he was next to me, close enough to reach out and grasp me. I recoiled at the unwelcomed touch. "Em, please. Can we talk?"

I froze my face as I turned to him to avoid showing any emotion. "I don't think we have anything to discuss."

His cheek had a red blotch from Kelly's slap that made the bile in my throat recede a bit.

"Nice blush," Sarah noted.

I stayed still, too fixed on Jacob. I was inspecting him with fresh eyes. He looked tired with red-rimmed eyes. I suspected he was the pile of tears that I felt guilty for avoiding; a small part of me crumpled in pain.

"Just a minute, alone," he begged.

I thought maybe he deserved better; perhaps I should hear him out. I opened my mouth, but Conner cut off my thought.

"I don't think she wants to talk to you, buddy," Conner's voice wasn't angry or threatening; he was apologetic.

Jacob's eyes narrowed, "what are they doing here?"

"They're with us." Sarah's chipper tone was not helpful.

"They can't come. People will..." at that moment, everything hit Jacob. Five years faded to yellowed photos and vague memories. "Em, I didn't tell anyone," he pleaded.

Jacob's request was tearing into me; I didn't want to hurt Jacob. Even though it crushed me when he accused me of cheating, I didn't want him to feel the same. I looked at Conner and Danny, searching for an answer. Danny's apathy was apparent, but Conner studied me.

Conner held my gaze for a moment, then clapped a hand on Jacob's shoulder. "It's cool, man, we'll all go. Baseball buddies, right?"

"Yeah, you two know each other?" I felt a weight lift, and the burning bile subside. Playing pretend felt flawed, but better than any alternative.

I sensed Danny wasn't happy with the plan, but I knew he'd go along if it was what I wanted, and I desperately wanted the plan to work, even if the thought of pretending to still be with Jacob made me sick.

"Hey, man," Danny set his jaw as he extended a hand and, with a curt shake, Jacob matched his intensity.

"This should be fun," Sarah sarcastically added.

It was a ticking time-bomb of a plan, and no one knew it more than me. Jacob and Conner walked ahead of the group. They kept a casual pace as they traded pleasantries on baseball and updates on the post-party disaster that was Chris' place. Conner's shoulders stayed tensed and square despite the amiable conversation. Jacob did his part; he introduced Conner as a baseball friend and Danny as Conner's best friend. No one seemed to notice or care. It relieved me when I could break off with Sarah and Danny. Conner knew other members of Jacob's team, so we just left him to fend for himself.

We escaped to the sparsely populated back deck. I breathed for the first time since I stepped out of the car. The night was warm and thick with humidity. I gulped it in, discharging the suffocation of the party. Danny and Sarah fell into a sarcastic banter while I unconsciously fell into Danny's side and welcomed his arm's reinforcement.

When Sarah went to refill their cups, Danny dipped his head closer to me. "How are you doing?" The echo of his beer-saturated breath coursed over my face, but I didn't find the grainy, herbal smell unpleasant.

"I'm just trying to figure out why I'm even here. I'm just hanging out with you and Sarah. I could do this in pajamas in my basement." A longing sigh escaped me.

"With popcorn," Danny noted.

We both laughed, and I leaned my head against his chest. Everything felt comfortable with Danny. I didn't even try to suppress the smile tipping my lips.

"Um, guys, you foiled the plan," Sarah came out with three solo cups.

"Did you bring me a drink?" Confusion clouded me; Sarah knew I didn't drink.

"Nope, I brought two for me and one for the tall fella." She pounded one and tossed the cup into the recycling bin. "So, did you notice when I left that Lee and Heather were out here? And do you notice they aren't here any longer?" Sarah was taking her sweet time to get to her point, and it was agitating me. "That's because they're inside talking about how close you are to not Jacob," she gestured to Danny.

In sequence, both Danny and I let out a "fuck."

"If you two platonic pals could've kept your paws off each other for fifteen minutes, it would've been great."

"What's Jacob doing?" My heart pounded in my ears.

"Exactly what a pancake does best; nothing, ignoring the whole situation. Probably planning your bland wedding still. Tell me, does he have brain damage?" Sarah was leading herself astray with her sarcastic babble. "Like maybe a baseball to the head or something from lawn chemicals they use on the baseball field?"

"Not helping, Sarah," I shot.

Before I could scold further, I saw Jacob pacing into the kitchen with Conner wide-eyed and close behind him. Danny tried to reach out to me as I floated from him to the deck door. I could hear the faint pleading of my name in his voice, but was already preparing for the impending explosion.

I slid the deck door open. "Hey," my greeting came out high with tension.

"Hey?" Jacob was visibly shaking with anger.

"Take it easy, man. She did nothing wrong." Conner put a steady hand on Jacob's shoulder, but he shrugged it off.

"Did nothing wrong?" Jacob ran his fingers over his eyebrows as though he were afraid they got scared and ran away. "You're supposed to be my girlfriend. Do you know when the last time you willingly sunk into my side was?" Jacob widely shook. "I don't even remember. But every time I turn around, you're suctioned to this... this..."

"Careful with your word choice, boss." Danny's words came out in a low growl, as if he were daring Jacob to agitate him.

Jacob was loud enough to attract attention, so I decided the plan was a bust. It was a stupid plan. My focus now was on deflecting attention from Danny.

"You made pretty damn sure I wouldn't be your girlfriend ever again last night when you called me a slut." I felt a strength soar through me as I released years of annoyance. "I shouldn't have to pretend to protect your ego. You dumped me last night because you couldn't manage your temper, and you blew the ruse tonight because again you couldn't control your temper."

Conner stepped between Jacob and me, but Danny reinforced my strength with his hands clutching my hips.

"Easy, Em," Conner soothed.

"Let her talk," Danny's voice was provoking, urging me forward as his thumbs dug into the small of my back.

At first, I thought it was protective to always yield to Jacob; I had it backward. Every muscle in me was tense, five years of rage coursing through my body.

"No, I won't go easy on him. He was a dick. He knows he was a dick. You know he was a dick. We were together for five years in this disgusting bubble. And the first time out of the pod, you go straight to crazy."

My pent-up rage he had unleashed dwarfed Jacob's anger. He quickly flipped to trying to defuse the situation.

"I was Em; I was a complete dick last night. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have assumed, and I shouldn't have made you pretend tonight. We're done. It's over," Jacob backed off slowly with his hands raised in defeat.

I wanted to lunge as the anger coursing through me tensed my body. I wanted to rip Jacob apart. Danny squeezed my hips as Jacob paced from my view. When the crowd obscured him, Danny spun me to his face.

"Focus on me and breathe," he soothed.

I leaned into Danny as I let Jacob drift from me.

"You're okay." His every word made my blood cool.

I turned and tucked my head into his chest as he loosely wrapped an arm around me while his cologne of cigarettes, weed, and beer blanketed me. I felt his arm raise and could hear him sip from his beer as though nothing had happened, just a casual sip.

"So ah, who is next at pong?" He calmly spoke over my head.

The crowd dispersed with the show cooling.

"I'm good," I murmured to myself. Then I looked up at Danny, "you're good?" I reached out for his face.

He let me stroke down his cheek before he took my hand in his and kissed it. "I'm fine." He gazed down at me with a serene look, as though chaos calmed him. His forehead fell to mine. His hair caught between us with a tickled.

"You want to smoke so bad," I teased.

"You don't even know," he let out a laugh over my head.

"Go," I smiled as I took a small step from him, reluctantly leaving his orbit.