Nervous excitement filled me all day. Danny left with everyone else the night before and worked all day. I passed the time doing anything to keep my mind calm while thinking about what I wanted to say. I missed Danny, the old Danny. If I could get him to talk, to continue the thought he kept starting but never finished, we could get back to us. At worse, and as much as I loved him and wanted to be with him, maybe that wasn't what was best for him. He warned me he wasn't into relationships; perhaps we could go back to just being friends. I could have my Danny back. The one that snuck in at night to hold me in his arms and fell asleep to the story of Red Balloon. The guy that lit up when I was in the room and was eager to erase any gap between us, the one person that would talk to me all night about anything and everything. I just wanted him back, even if I had to give him up for myself to get there.

I was on the lounger flipping through a magazine but not seeing a single page when he collapsed down next to me, still wearing his coveralls unzipped to the waist. I could see the ripple of his abs beneath his tank top. It was 5:30 pm, so I knew he must have come straight from work to me.

"Hey," he spoke softly and continued to gaze at the pool from behind his sunglasses.

"Hey, you got here fast. Want me to make you a sandwich while you shower?"

I studied the side of his face. His angular cheekbones attracted the sun to them with an unnatural glow, but I could see the corners of bloodshot eyes from lack of sleep.

"You don't have to," his voice sounded like a deflating balloon, too tired to hold in the air anymore.

"Eat," my voice was unintendedly chiding, but still cracked with pain. "Please," came out in a sickly plea that turned my stomach.

He ripped his sunglasses from his nose so I could see the sharp features of his face. The rims of his eyes were red with darkened circles beneath them from sleepless nights. The missing twinkle in his eyes clouded his entire face. His eyes were grey, and his skin had a ghostly sheen as though he were turning to dust before me.

"We're breaking up, Em. Let's do this."

"You don't want a long-distance thing, and you aren't attracted to me. So, yeah, it seems like our only option. I'm tired of being the only one trying," I snapped.

"Well, it's great to be told what I want and feel." He retorted as he put his sunglasses back on and pulled himself up.

"Am I wrong?" I tossed my magazine down beside me. All my plans for a constructive conversation crumbled as my anger matched his.

"Doesn't matter what I say, princess, you already decided for me." His lips curled up in a sardonic smile before he turned and left. I heard the flicker of his lighter echo off the side of the house as he paced away.

I had sprinted to the conversation all day, but now that it was over as quickly as it began, I felt myself crumple like a page from some idyllic romance novel. The solace of solitude was drowning me. I don't even remember calling, but Sarah was there tossing the magazine aside to sit beside me before I had even collected myself.

"Let's get drunk tonight," Sarah shot.

"I don't drink." My voice was a low, emotionless void.

"Lucky for you, I do. Let's get me drunk then. Hard to remember why your life sucks so much when you're holding your best friend's hair back while she vomits." Sarah's voice was chipper and rubbed against her sarcasm.

"Binge drinking; solid goal, Sarah."

"Em, I'm trying here. What do you want to do?" Sarah's cheerful tone slipped away to familiar Sarah, which actually made me relax a bit.

"I'm up for whatever you had planned unless it was something kinky with Sean." I met Sarah's gaze. "Then I'm a maybe."

"Party it is, and I promise responsible drinking only." Sarah furrowed her brow to show how serious she was.

"Great, I'll drive. Where are we headed?" My body twitched with an eagerness to move.

"Sean's; his parents are visiting family in Philly." She glanced at her phone. "We need to get you dressed and ping-pong balls."

I didn't argue at all as Sarah got me ready. I would be someone else that night; being Emma was exhausting. Luckily Sarah didn't go too crazy, opting for a camisole and jean mini skirt look.

But when I slipped on my flip-flops, Sarah shot me a look. "Wedges are your best friend, all the height, none of the balance issues."

I contemplated protesting, but I had argued enough recently, so I agreed with little more than a sigh.

"Went a little crazy with the hair clips, no?" I critiqued when we were in the car. Four sparkling purple butterfly clips pulled my hair up on one side. The look would be better if I had earrings on, but my fear of needles prevented me from having pierced ears.

"They're cute; you look amazing," Sarah complimented.

I inspected my face in the mirror. Sarah worked magic with the bags under my eyes, erasing all the sleepless nights.

"Ugh," I grunted, "I left my lip gloss on my desk."

"Okay, I'll go get the pong balls; you get lip gloss. Meet me at checkout." Sarah didn't wait for a response before she popped out of the car and headed for the store doors.

It was one of those superstores that had everything from groceries to furniture. All I could hear around me was squeaking; sneakers on the shiny linoleum, hangers on the racks, even the wheels of carts coasting up and down aisles. I oriented myself with the signs and headed to the beauty aisle. I found the bubblegum pink lip gloss that I forgot on my desk and plucked it from the shelf. As I was about to head out, I saw one just as pink but grape soda flavored. I smiled as I pictured Sammy with a grape soda mustache and plucked it up, putting the boring one back.

"Your lips look sweet enough; I don't think you need to add more." It was some guy around my age.

I gnawed the inside of my lip to prevent a laugh and gave him a faint not-on-your-life smile before walking by him.

"Oh hey, come on, at least tell me your name."

I stopped short. I was going to have to flirt; otherwise, I'd be alone forever. I might as well start with someone that had no chance. I plastered on a vacant smile and turned on my heel. "My name is Chrissy." I bobbed my head a little, as if to show that there was nothing of substance up there.

"That's a pretty name, Chrissy. My name is Brian." He stuck out a hand to me. I took it with a quick shake. "You look pretty. Where are you headed?"

Before I could answer, Sarah was looping an arm around mine. "Hello, boy." The way her voice curled around the word 'boy' made him take a step back. I again chewed the inside of my lip to avoid another laugh.

Sarah then turned us towards the checkout and paced away with a "goodbye, boy." After she knew we were out of earshot, I added, "my best friend, the flirt."

"I figured I should start, and why not practice on someone with no chance." I let out a mischievous giggle.

"Oh, I approve. I say, more flirting with no-chance boys!" She pumped her fist in the air before bringing it down, causing the pong balls to slam slightly harder than intended on the register, eliciting another giggle from us both.