I posted more than one chapter in a month???? 🤯🤯🤯

No but fr, now that I'm out of college, you can expect updates more frequently!

☂ Chapter 11 ☂

'Beep... beep... beep...'

The pain in his bicep was an afterthought, and he couldn't tell if that was thanks to the morphine or the adrenaline he felt every time he glanced at the unconscious woman before him. Jungkook was in the room down the hall, and countless other officers were occupying beds Jimin would attempt to visit later. There were more deaths than injuries, and Jimin knew it'd take years to come to terms with that fact.

Jimin had always hated hospitals. His mother had started his hatred of them, but Irene had put the cherry on top. They always smelled like bleach, and Jimin hated needles. Y/n had several needles in her veins to keep her alive. Jimin didn't know if he should wince or kiss every needle to show his thanks for their service.

Something happened when he saw her laying in her own blood. She was his responsibility, and he had let her down. All she had wanted to do was complete the mission. He hadn't been there to support her. He got déjà vu; back when they were partners, he had let her down then, too. Was he destined to repeat his same mistakes over and over again?

Jimin brushed the thought away, especially when his memories fell on June. June had the most gorgeous smile. Jimin wished he could see it one last time, but he knew he didn't deserve it. He had lost that right the second he made his irredeemable choice.

Y/n stirred but didn't wake. The doctors didn't think she would for a few days, and Jimin had to come to terms with that. All he could do was listen to the faint beeps of her heartbeat monitor and smell the bleach. There was an air conditioner blowing, and it made a gentle humming sound that mixed with the monitor's beeps. As peaceful as it should have been, Jimin still felt cold.

His temporary serenity was interrupted by the door opening. It creaked and intruded on the otherwise soft sounds. He heard squishy footsteps that came to a halt mere moments later.

"I wasn't sure if you made it or not," a male voice said from the doorway. Jimin didn't have the courage to face his partner, so he kept his eyes on Y/n.

Kasper approached and sat on the chair next to him. Jimin had mentally reserved that spot for the old man Y/n adored. He knew the old man would never discover Y/n's current position, but it was the principle that mattered.

"Thank you for taking care of Jungkook," Jimin said, although he hated the idea of ever thanking such a racist man. "He would've died if it weren't for you."

"Yeah, whatever." Kasper kicked at the ground and pointed to Jimin's sling. "I heard you got shot."

Jimin had too much on his brain to care, but he did get a nasty wound. The bullet spiraled through his arm and cut through the other side. He was in a sling and wasn't approved for active duty for another three weeks. He could help investigate and do paperwork, but he had no choice but to stick to the sidelines for the time being. Seeing as Y/n would be out for even longer (assuming she still wanted to be an officer after that incident), Jimin didn't feel too bad about his status.

"I've been shot before," was all Jimin answered with before scooting himself closer to her bedside.

Kasper noticed and snorted. "I thought you hated her."

Jimin picked up her hand and noticed how marred it was. There were scars littered across every inch of her bare skin. Full chunks of flesh were missing, and her nails were so short they made his look long by comparison. Her gloves were on the bedside table. Jimin made a mental note to take them home and wash them when he got the chance.

"She's a fellow officer. How are you not horrified by this?" Jimin asked. He didn't hide the hiss in his voice.

"When you live long enough, nothing surprises you." Kasper went quiet for a few beats. "But this doesn't put any smiles on my face, if that's what you're wondering."

Jimin's leg bounced up and down as he caressed Y/n's bare hand. "I was there. I watched our brothers and sisters die. If you had a damn smile on your face, I'd kick your ass, partner or not."

Kasper huffed. "This is why I hate working with chinks."

Jimin didn't care about the consequences. He snapped up, whipped around, and used his operable hand to grab Kasper and rip him out of his seat. In less than a second, Kasper was pinned to the wall by the throat, and Jimin didn't care what HR would have to say about it.

"You call me that again, the next bullet I shoot goes right between your eyes. Have I made myself clear?"

Kasper gagged and slapped at Jimin's bad arm. The sudden sharp pain caused Jimin to retreat, but he didn't go far. He stayed close enough to smell the tuna in Kasper's breath. He could even see bits of the man's lunch stuck to his teeth.

Kasper coughed and rubbed his injured neck. "Are you..." He choked over his own words. "...fucking insane?"

"Me?! You're the one being a racist piece of shit!" Jimin shouted. Part of him wished he could draw his sidearm, but he knew that was too far. Not to mention he left it in his cruiser.

Kasper shoved Jimin back. "I'm going to allow that because you're in such an emotional state, but if this happens again, you can say bye-bye to your promotion."

Jimin didn't get a chance to respond. Kasper was out the door by the time Jimin gained the courage to move. That left him alone with the delicate breeze of the AC. He didn't feel cold anymore.

The idea of losing his promotion didn't process in his mind. Perhaps Kasper was right about one thing: Jimin was emotional. They had lost countless officers in a futile attempt to stop crime. Why did they have to die? They were only trying to do the right thing. It could have been Jimin who lost his life. Hell, maybe it should have been him, yet he remained standing. He wished he could understand why.

Minutes passed before Jimin decided to exit Y/n's room. He took her gloves with him so he could bring them home and clean them. However, he had another to care for first: Jungkook.

His feet dragged him to the open door of Captain Jeon's room. Hoseok and Seulgi were there along with Deputy Inspector Min. The room had the same layout as Y/n's, only there were far more chairs, and they appeared used. There was no dust on any of the black seats, and the bedside table had a mountain of flowers on it.

Unlike Y/n, Jungkook was awake. He had a tablet on his lap and a banana milk in one of his two hands. He had bandages all over his body, but that didn't seem to slow him down. Maybe it was the pain meds.

"Jimin, just who we wanted to see," Seulgi said. She had a tremor in her words, and her eyes didn't quite meet his. "Sit. Close the door."

Jimin did as he was told. There were six seats scattered around the room, and Jimin took the one next to Hoseok. Hobi had his glasses on, but their frame was tilted. They made his nose look longer than normal due to the way they were lopsided on his face.

"So," Jungkook said without taking his eyes off his screen. He took a sip of his banana milk. "You and Kasper sound like you're getting along."

Jimin folded his clammy hands together before answering. "You... heard that?"

"I think the entire hospital did." Jungkook peeked up and shook his head. "He deserved it. Doesn't make what you did excusable, but he deserved it. You're lucky you're injured and off field duty, otherwise I'd fire you."

"Kasper said he'd let it slide."

"Good, then that's one less issue to worry about. Let's talk about the more pressing matter. We arrested a few of those bastards. I'm putting Seulgi and Hoseok in charge of interrogations, and Kasper is going to join them. You can do the paperwork."

Gee, thanks was what Jimin wanted to say, but he held back. He sat there and took any heat that would come his way. After all, he had been acting like a rebellious teen ever since Y/n showed up. Paperwork sucked, but he deserved it. Him being injured meant he couldn't do much else anyway.

"Unfortunately, other than the arrests, we don't have any leads. The ship is a dead end unless someone makes a miraculous discovery. I don't suppose you remember anything important from last night?" Jungkook asked.

What Jimin remembered was making his injury worse by panicking and carrying Y/n to his cruiser. No ambulances had been on-site when it happened, so Jimin had to rush to the hospital with his sirens blaring and lights flashing. He remembered begging her to stay with him even though she had been already unconscious, and he had had no way of knowing whether she had passed away in his backseat or not.

He had almost snapped his bone trying to carry her into the hospital. Staff had rushed out to help. He had forgotten about his injury until one of the nurses forced him to leave Y/n's side to receive treatment. They had recommended he went home and showered, and that was what he had done. It had taken two hours to cleanse himself of the blood.

Above all else, he remembered yelling at her and saying she deserved the treatment she got in her childhood. He remembered never making up with her after that. He remembered the cracked expression she had given him when he reminded her of what he presumed to be the worst moments of her life.

"No," Jimin said through a tight jaw and swollen tongue. "I don't remember anything of note. If we have no leads, then what do we do?"

Jungkook clicked his tongue and tapped on his tablet. "The worst part of the job: waiting."

"Hoseok and I are going on more stakeouts around the standard hotspots," Seulgi explained, and Jimin nodded. "We'd like it if you and Kasper took some of the less active zones a week from now, when you're more healed. No active duty, got it? Let Kasper do all the work, and if anything happens, radio us immediately. That's why we're assigning you to the cold areas."

"Every officer who can breathe needs to be working. I'm sorry to say you won't get a long break, but we'll do what we can considering your injury," Jungkook said. Jimin didn't protest. He liked working, after all. It wasn't like he had a life outside it. "Do you have any questions?"

Jimin fiddled with his fingers and resisted the urge to bite on his nails. "What about Y/n?"

Jungkook hesitated. "She'll be on paperwork duty when she's able to return. No stakeouts."

Jimin didn't know how to answer, so he kept his mouth shut. Jungkook finished his banana milk, and Yoongi threw it away for him. It wasn't until that moment that Jimin noticed Yoongi had a coffee to compensate for the bags under his eyes. Jimin doubted it would help, but he respected the effort.

"I sent Namjoon on a donut run," Yoongi said before drinking some more of his coffee. "We have a long day of paperwork and interrogations ahead. You want to go help him out? He'll be pulling into the parking garage any second now."

Jimin knew Yoongi only offered so Jimin could take a walk to clear his head. Everyone in the room likely knew that. Jimin was the one in the sling. Yoongi could have sent the uninjured Seulgi and Hoseok. Still, Jimin took the opportunity. He dipped his head, got up, then hightailed it to the garage.

When he entered, he got whacked in the face with the putrid scent of vomit. He almost stepped in a puddle of it, but he managed to swivel at the last second and hop to the other side of the concrete. The entire garage was painted in a mucky, rusty yellow color thanks to the flickering lights hanging off old rods attached to the eight-foot high ceiling.

The garage had three levels, and Jimin was on level two. Instead of searching for Namjoon, he went right to his cruiser. There were bloodstains in the backseat, and even some on the steering wheel. He didn't have time to wipe it off. Part of him wondered if he wanted to leave it there as a reminder for all his failures.

The door shut and locked behind him. His hand grasped at the locket buried beneath his all-black outfit. He wore the cold weather gear he had always worn underneath his uniform. It was sticky and sweaty, but he couldn't be bothered to take it off. Instead, he focused on his locket and held it close to his chest.

Breaths left his lips in harsh heaves that caused his mouth to go dry. It chipped until he had to slash his tongue across the chapped flesh. He reached out with his teeth and nibbled on every inch available. Blood spewed out and swam over his tongue. It dove down his throat and landed in his empty stomach. For a moment, it was comforting, but the comfort left as soon as Irene had all that time ago.

One thought of her squeezed the tears out of him. Before he knew what was happening, he was wailing inside his car. They had lost many good officers thanks to the ship. Y/n was injured. Jungkook was injured. Jimin was injured. Kasper was as racist as ever, and Jimin had to work with him for the chance at a promotion he didn't deserve.

June was gone. Irene was gone. They were gone in different ways, but through Jimin's blurry eyes, the reasons appeared the same. Both had vanished because of him not doing enough. He had failed them. He had failed Y/n. He failed himself.

It took ten minutes for his sobs to become silence. All that remained was the void replacing his mind as he placed his good hand on the infected steering wheel. He didn't care what substances got on his skin. Whatever contaminated him was already there to begin with.

Jimin gazed out the window and counted the vehicles, but nothing steadied his heart. He searched for five things he could see. Cars, lights, pillars of concrete, white lines for parking spots, and people far away. He could feel his heart in his ribs, his feet on the ground, his tongue swelling in his mouth, and the wheel in his grasp. He could hear distant chatter, his heartbeat, and the buzzing lights. The only smells available were his own sweat and tears. All he could taste was his bitter saliva that was growing more and more stale by the second.

It had been too long. If he stayed in his cruiser any longer, he was sure Jungkook and Yoongi would send a search party after him. Jimin opted to lean back, but his fingers lingered on the wheel. He peered at the back of his hand. Mentally, he managed to convince himself to move back.

And when he pulled away, his hand was covered in blood.

☂☂☂

A/N: I'm so horrendously down bad for Officer Park ngl

On a serious note, this was a much-needed cooldown chapter. The past couple chapters have been non-stop action, so I hope you guys liked the break to look at Jimin's mental state. Hint: it isn't good.