Lori came in through the door late to the book club meeting. Her face was beaten in, and she was rubbing her shoulder. "Oh my gosh, Lori! What happened to you?" Owen said, all worried.

"Fuck off, Owen; I'm not saying I did! But I may have possibly kicked out a cop car window. They beat me and tased the shit out of me." Lori responded.

"That's hot; sorry I missed it," Scarlett said and winked at Lori, who responded with an eye roll.

"Anyways, let's try and stay on topic this time! We will go in order per the correct zodiac charting." Asha said, and Victoria rolled her eyes.

"That's so dumb; why does it even start with Aries? It literally should start with Aquarius because it's the first sign that starts in January, which is the first month of the year." She said, and Aubrey chuckled.

"You forgot to say, 'and they are the best sign'" Aubrey smirked, and Victoria scoffed.

"Well, no, Virgo obviously is the best; we have Beyoncé." Victoria flipped her hair.

"Yeah, and we have Shakira! Everyone knows she is way better than Beyoncé." Aubrey retorted, and Stacy piped up.

"Have to agree with Aubrey on that one; Shakira is better. Although let's be clear, we have Taylor Swift." Stacy said, and everyone rolled their eyes.

"Back on topic! Or I will beat the fuck out of all of you." Asha said, then held up her book, "I brought firestarter, the original, not the stupid rewrite. Let's not forget Drew Barrymore is the queen of the movies too."

"Right, so boring and not original, next," Aubrey said and pointed at Tori.

"I brought this Hocus Pocus cookbook!" Tori replied, "I already made some cookies in it! Which I brought, by the way." She also held up cookies.

"A cookbook, really?? You're so stupid, but I'll give you props for Hocus Pocus next!" Aubrey said, and they all looked at Gretchen.

"I brought a tale of two cities!" Gretchen said proudly.

"Of course, you did because you're a classic two-faced bitch. You couldn't have picked a more perfect book for yourself. Next!" Aubrey looked over at Caren.

"I brought The Midnight Man; it's about a serial killer," Caren said with a sadistic smile.

"Probably because you are a serial killer, and you needed to do research, at least it's somewhat original. Let's move on." Aubrey stated, clearly bored and uninterested in the books the group brought.

"Hey, that's not nice! You should let me talk about it! It's such a good book!" Caren began whining.

"Shut up, Caren!" Aubrey said and pointed at Lori.

"Right, so my book was confiscated by the police, but I was gonna bring The Lion King!" Lori said, and Scarlett smirked, grabbing Lori's butt.

"Cause you're a hot lioness, babe. It totally makes sense." She said, and Aubrey rolled her eyes.

"Well, thankfully, it was confiscated because no. What about you, Vicky?" Aubrey replied as she looked towards her.

"Stop calling me that bitch! You know it's Victoria! Anyways I brought Euphoria by Lily King."

"Gross historical fiction, get the fuck out of here with that shit. I guess at least your original in your choice, but I mean, no, I'm sorry I asked." Aubrey looked like she was going to gag and looked at Linda. "What did you bring?"

"I brought five feet apart by," Linda began, but Aubrey cut her off.

"Enough! Disgusting, we are moving right along. Scarlett, how about you?" Aubrey said with an eye roll.

"Fine, I don't give a fuck what you think anyway." Linda sat down and looked pissed.

"I know it's not original, but I brought The Hunger Games. It was either that or a smut book, and I know how you feel about that." Scarlett said, twirling her hair around her finger.

"I actually love the hunger games, a great choice, unlike the rest of you. You get to pass for the day. Now, how about you, Stacy?" Aubrey said with a half smile.

"I brought The Host by Stephanie Meyer," Stacy said plainly as she didn't really care all that much either.

"Also a good choice; you pass as well. How about you, Courtney?" Aubrey said, smiling, feeling like the day wasn't a total loss.

"I brought The Last Apprentice: Revenge Of The Witch by Joseph Delaney!" Courtney said, rather pleased with herself.

"Bravo, that's the best choice all day! Besides mine, of course. You get a pass; now, Penny, go ahead. I'll go last." Aubrey said and Penny timidly spoke up.

"I brought Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Claire. It's excellent, I promise... you probably won't think so." Penny said quietly, and Aubrey rolled her eyes.

"I fucking love that book, actually, so thank you very much for assuming. You still pass, though, so anyways, it's my turn." Aubrey said, but the dumb little boy spoke up before she could finish.

"What about me??" Owen said excitedly, and they all rolled their eyes.

"What about you? No one likes you or wants you here." Caren said, and Owen looked sad.

"I just want to share my books with you guys too! Stop being mean!" Owen said quietly, and Aubrey sighed.

"Fine, Owen, so that you will shut the fuck up. What did you bring?" Aubrey asked, and Owen got excited again.

"To kill a Mockingbird!" He said excitedly, and Aubrey half smiled.

"A classic, not a terrible choice, honestly it's a must-read. Fine, you pass now back to me." Aubrey responded and was once again cut off by Owen.

"Thanks, Aubrey, you're the best." He chanted excitedly.

"Yes, I know I am. I brought Supernatural: Nevermore, the first book in the series. They all are great, though, and Dean is an Aquarius too, and he's the best! Now, bye, you all suck; this has been enough pressure for me today." Aubrey says before leaving, and the group sighs in annoyance at their choice in President.