This is a collection of my thoughts. I shouldn't have written it.

As I look around at the smiling faces, my heart constricts with sadness. I fight back the tears, put on a brave face for those I love.

Fight.

I'm tired, so tired of fighting, of everything. My thoughts grow darker every day, suffocating the remainder of my innocence. I used to be so confident and fearless.

But not anymore, sneers the voice in my head. You're weak, pathetic, useless.

"Stop," I plead.

Oh, don't deny it. You drag everyone down. They used to love you. They loved the old you. But you became an introverted, tearful fool!

I clutched at my own head, desperately wanting to stop the thoughts, the horrible thoughts. "Please." I was in a battle with my own mind, a battle I was losing. I grabbed onto whatever shred of hope I had left. The darkness ripped it from my grasp. "Please!"

Useless! the voice taunted.

"No..."

You would be better off dead. The world would be such a better place without you.

The tears came.

Why do you bother living? the voice scoffed. Do the world a favor and die.

"N-no...please..." I sank to the ground, drowning in my own despair.

So selfish, chastised the voice. So selfish, wanting to live and make those around you suffer.

I was choking, drowning. I couldn't breathe.

Pathetic! exclaimed the voice gleefully.

Stupid.

Selfish.

Ungrateful.

Undeserving.

Unloved.

Oh, come now, the voice continued maliciously. Such an ungrateful child. Can't you see all that you have?

"Yes!"

Then, why are you sad?

I growled. "I don't KNOW!"

Tsk. Excuses, excuses. Such a shame that car accident didn't kill you. Honestly, even I am proof of your worthlessness. I am you, Avalon. Your darkest thoughts, fears, demons. But you don't even have a reason. Pathetic waste of space.

I was sobbing. Alone. Alone in the darkness. "I d-don't..."

Don't, don't! the voice mocked. You're a coward. Now, be a good girl and put on that lovely mask of happiness you always wear.

"I HATE YOU!" I screamed.

I am you, fool!

"No! NO!"

I miss my old self. The confidence, the happiness.

You don't deserve happiness.

"Please! Why, why...?" I hate myself.

Why can't it just end?

You should end. The world would be better off...

"No!"

Die!

My tears were a waterfall. The voice was right.

"I'm sorry, Mommy."

My breathing was halting. I couldn't breathe.

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

My siblings... "I'm sorry. So, so, sorry."

I wanted to hide, to run, to DIE. But I couldn't escape my own mind.

I hate myself.

Ahem. Well, that was dark. *blinks* And rather depressing. Remind me never to write when I'm sad, would you? And oh, yes. Every word is true.

-Avalon Lee