Chapter 26 - Making Contact

When I wake up I feel weird, like numb. Like my body is not my body, like there’s something missing. I close my eyes again as I collect myself and think of what happened. I open my eyes again and I find Zayn staring at me, worry all over his face.

By the way… where am I?

“Oh God, you’re awake. Mate, you scared the shit out of me!” Zayn exclaims and I blink, confused.

I’m not sure what happened, the last thing I remember is leaving Emily’s house after that… oh. Now I remember and I feel dizzy again. Too much information.

Jake… his soul… within me… I need to help him… Louis… Emily’s brother.

Well, I feel dizzy again. We went to Emily to find answers and although we got some, like Jake actually being around me, not as a ghost, but just his soul, inside me? I don’t know. But although we got some answers, I’ve come up with many more questions. There’s so much I don’t understand, like exactly why and how I’m supposed to help or how this is even possible.

So… Jake is my inner voice and he always talked to me, but how do I contact him first? Is he always present? All the time listening, watching what I do? Even when I’m with Cassie?

Oh… now I get it. That’s how I got to know things about her that she didn’t share. Like her age at the beginning. That’s how I knew of her memories. It wasn’t just her stories, it was Jake. All those dreams… all those dreams were actually his memories. All that was Jake showing me his past. But why?

Wait a second… I dreamt of Jake being in love with Cassie, that means Jake was actually in love with her. He was telling me that, he was showing me how he fell in love with her. And he was telling me not to confess my feelings to Cassie the other day. It was him… stopping me. It was him showing me that memory of him and Cassidy at the playground that made her cry. It was all him.

How many other things has he done?

Is he really inside of me? I know I’ve felt different but I’m still me, I know that. He hasn’t taken over my body because I can think of all this and because I’ve defied my inner voice.

I think I got a migraine.

“Liam? Are you listening?” Zayn asks and only then I shake my head. I got lost in my thoughts.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was just… trying to put things in their place,” I answer and look around. This is not our dorm, and definitely this is not my car. This is Emily’s house, right? “Where are we?”

“You fainted in front of Emily’s house. We’re in her place. Oh, there she comes,” my friend replies and looks over my head. Then I hear footsteps and I turn around to see her approaching with a tray with three cups of tea.

“Hello, Liam. How are you feeling?” She asks me leaving the tray on the coffee table in front of me. I’m lying on the sofa so I sit straight.

“Overwhelmed,” I say and she smiles sympathetically at me. “I still don’t fully understand what’s happening.”

“I don’t know either. I’ve never encountered something like this. Souls don’t use other bodies,” she explains and I nod, as if I really understand what she means. “To be honest, I don't think Jake knows what’s happening either. And it’s weird, I can’t feel him now, but when you arrived his presence was so strong.”

“You think he left?” I ask, hopeful.

But Emily shakes her head. “I don’t think so. Souls don’t just leave. If he has stayed until now, he must have a reason and he won’t go until he dies or he fulfils this. The most common reason why a soul stays in this dimension is because they have an unresolved business, so I’m assuming he has one.”

“How can I know?” I ask her and she gives me that sympathetic smile again.

“Only Jake can tell you. You need to talk to him, he will explain why he’s here,” Emily replies as she hands me one cup of tea. “You say you hear him, now just talk back.”

“Yeah,” I say taking a sip. “I don’t really know how to do that. He normally speaks first, out of the blue. I don’t always reply, I thought it was my conscience.”

Emily thinks for a while and I look at Zayn on the couch across me, a cup of tea in his hands. He shrugs, probably as confused as me or maybe still a bit sceptical. It’s hard to believe, to be honest. I’m in the eye of the hurricane and I still have problems coming to terms with this. It’s just so weird, to think I have another… uh… soul with me. Is this considered a possession? Do we really have to call a priest or anything?

“We can try to contact him. If you want to, of course. I don’t feel him near, but we maybe can get him to answer,” she offers and I look at Zayn again, almost as if I’m asking for permission. I guess I’m asking for support really.

Zayn shrugs, not sure, so I guess it’s on me. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It scares me a bit, to be honest, because if he replies, then it’s a confirmation this is actually happening and for some reason it’s easier to believe I’m crazy than this. Believing that the soul of a dead guy is in me is not just creepy, but it also defies everything I believe in. It changes the way I see this world.

How many other things are out there that I don’t know of? Who knows, maybe vampires, werewolves and witches are real. I’m not sure anymore.

I open my eyes and meet Emily’s blue eyes. She’s waiting for my answer. I sigh deeply before I finally answer: “let’s try.”

So after we drink our tea, we follow Emily to another room. I guess we’re going to have to pay again, after all she’s doing another session.

I’m really nervous as I see her preparing a little table with a purple tablecloth and three chairs around it. Zayn helps her because I still feel dizzy. It’s like I can’t get a hold to reality and I’m in this weird state and I kind of feel a bit useless.

But they manage to get everything ready quickly and Emily closes all the curtains, leaving the room lit only with candles, giving it a gloomier environment. We all sit around the table after she asks us if we can hand her Jake’s belonging again. Zayn goes for the DVD box in the car and that’s what she puts in the middle of the table and then asks for our hands.

I don’t know what I expect to happen, really. Maybe a more dramatic moment, with books falling from the shelves and wind blowing her hair, her chanting in another language… I don’t know. But at the end it’s really normal. She closes her eyes and focuses as she calls for his name, softly, whispering. We look at her all the time and keep our hands together, following her instructions.

Emily starts to frown and she looks uncomfortable, like something is not right, and I start to get nervous.

“Jake, we need to know why you’re still here. Please, talk to us,” she requests and I start to get more nervous, unease. I feel this urge to leave, to run away because I’m scared of her. But I trust Emily, why would I be scared of her? She’s helping me. “Jake, please,” she asks once again and I feel more uncomfortable. “We just want to help.”

Her eyes shoot wide open at the same moment I feel a jolt going through my body, and that urge to run away is stronger.

“Jake,” Emily says. It’s not a call anymore, it’s not a question; it’s a greeting. “We need you to cooperate.”

No, not you, I hear him in my head and I move uncomfortable, my head hurting.

“Please, Jake. We just want to help you,” she tries again.

You don’t understand, you don’t know her. You can’t help! Jake shouts in my head, making me twitch.

“What do you need to do?” She asks but this time I don’t hear him. “Jake, please.”

“NO!” I scream again, his voice in my head and my voice one… and I realise this is not the first time our voices combine. But this time is stronger, this time I feel the scream coming from the deepest bottom of my being and it’s so strong that wind comes, swirling around us, blowing up the candles, scaring the living days out of Zayn and I.

“Holy shit!” Zayn exclaims, letting go of my hand and Emily’s.

“Jake!” Emily calls, like someone who’s trying to stop another person from leaving. And then I feel it… I feel how he’s not here anymore, at least not screaming in my head.

I stumble down, falling on top of the table but not fainting, just tired… so tired.

“Liam!” Zayn shouts and then grabs my shoulders, lifting me. I see his worried expression and I try to smile at him but I feel so exhausted, like I’ve run three marathons. “Liam, you okay?”

“Headache,” I say and sigh deeply.

“I’m sorry, I pushed him too much. He’s stubborn,” Emily says and she goes to open the curtains again.

“That’s what Cassie said,” I mumble. “I guess it’s true then, he’s actually with me… in me? That sounds so creepy.” Zayn chuckles and I smile.

“Yes, it is. He doesn’t want to talk to me, but he speaks to you. Maybe now you’ll be more receptive and he’ll tell you. I’m sorry he didn’t tell me. Some souls are more hostile when they have been a long time in this dimension after they died,” she explains and I nod.

“I’ll try… later. I’m too tired now,” I say and she nods. Then I stand up but I stumble and Zayn has to help me to stay on my feet. “How much do we owe you?” I ask and she shakes her head.

“Nothing for this one. Just do me a favour, if you see my brother again in one of your dreams, tell him I still miss him and that I love him. Tell him I say goodbye.”

I don’t know if I can do that, it’s not like I see Louis, it’s normally Jake and Louis talking, or that was what I saw that time. Anyways, even if I don’t know if that’s possible, I nod. “Will do,” I tell her and she smiles at me with sad eyes. “Thank you, Emily.”

“Good luck, Liam. I hope you get to help Jake and solve all this,” she tells us and I nod again.

“I hope so, too,” I say. “Let’s go?” I address Zayn next and he nods. “Goodbye, Emily.”

“Goodbye,” she says as she opens the door of that room and then we head to the entrance, saying goodbye one more time before finally leaving the house.

This time I make it to the car. “What now?” Zayn asks and I sigh.

“Dorm. I need to sleep. That’s all I can do for now,” I answer and he smiles before he starts the ignition.

“Uni it is then, but first… Sorry if I didn’t quite believe you at the beginning,” he says and I smile at him, my eyes almost shutting close. “It’s just so… hard to believe.”

“I know…” I tell him. “It’s still feels surreal.”

Zayn looks at me, his eyes serious. “Still, I’m sorry. And although we don’t understand all this, you can count on me, okay? We’ll solve this and you’ll be fine.”

“Thanks,” I say with a weak smile. That’s all I can do for now. Later I’ll think and figure out what to do next, for now I just need to get rest before I faint again.

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Dedication to @wehaveinnerbeauty because I loved this part of your comment: "It's like a tapestry. Each of them is a little strand of thread and they are woven together, each of them crossing paths with the others."

Bel, xx