Chapter 10 - Cleared Up

Mum and Zayn are here when I finish my physiotherapy session of today, and both are smiling widely as I make my way inside the room with Cassidy next to me. She doesn’t make me use the wheelchair anymore, and that’s helped a lot. I don’t move like a grandfather anymore, more like a turtle or a very, very lazy teenage boy who can’t bother to walk faster. Rob says I’m doing great and soon I’ll be walking like I normally do, without getting tired so easily and everything.

“Hey,” I greet as Cass closes the door and I walk up to the bed, where I sit down. “You’re here earlier,” I say and Mum comes to me to kiss my cheek.

“We’re on time,” Zayn says, his smile turning into a grin. “You just took longer to come back.”

I feel my cheeks getting warmer as I take a small glimpse at Cass who’s smiling apologetically. Yeah, we may or may not have got a bit distracted on or way back. Cass showed me the other patients she helps, the kids and even that fellow Niall. He still looks at Cassidy with puppy eyes and that makes me wonder, do I look at her like that, too? I know we’ve become friends and she’s made my whole stay here more endurable, but I’d hate it if I looked at Cassidy the way that bloke does. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a really nice fella and funny and loud, but he seems infatuated with Cass and I don’t like that.

I don’t know if it’s because I feel like I have to protect her or something, but I just don’t like that bloke getting closer to Cassie. I feel like it’s my job to keep an eye on her because she belongs to someone else, and that someone is not me; but then a part of me doesn’t like that idea either.

And here we go again… overthinking. This is becoming a really bad habit of mine.

“I’m sorry,” Cassidy says snapping me back to the present and away from my crazy thoughts. “We passed by to see some friends. It’s my fault.”

“Oh, don’t worry, sunshine,” Mum tells her. She has grown really fond of Cass. “Zayn is just messing with Liam, but it’s fine. We just got here.”

Cassidy smiles widely and sweetly, and I smile at the picture. Cass also seems fond of my Mum. They get in a conversation that doesn’t include us and I keep watching them, without getting rid of the smile on my face.

“You made a new friend, didn’t you?” Zayn asks and I turn away immediately, focusing on my friend next to me. He is grinning again. “I didn’t think she was your type, though.”

“I don’t like her that way, Zayn,” I tell him and his grin grows wider. “Really. She is just a good friend I made here in the hospital. That’s all.”

“Sure, mate,” the black-haired boy agrees sarcastically and I roll my eyes. I won’t argue about this topic when she is in the room. I won’t even try to tell him that Cassidy could be anyone’s type just because she is beautiful, in her own way. But if I tell him that I know he won’t understand it and will only tease me further. I only understood this because I’ve spent time with her, because I’ve really seen her. It’s different from only looking at her.

Nevertheless, I don’t have to argue or anything, because just in that moment the door opens and my doctor is here with a nurse. “Hello. Looking fine, Liam,” he tells me and I smile as a greeting. Mum leaves Cassidy’s side and approaches to the doctor, expectantly.

“How’s he? What about the test results?” Mum asks in a hurry and the doctor smiles nicely.

“It’s all right, Mrs Payne. Your son is fine.” Then he focusses his attention on me. “You need this prescription,” he says as he starts to write something down. “Take these if you feel pain and you can’t bear it. If the pain doesn’t go away, take these for three days every eight hours. And if that doesn’t work, you come here again, okay? Only if the pain is too much, Liam. You have to be kind with your liver,” he finishes with a soft chuckle, ripping the page away and handing it to me. “And that’s it, you’re cleared up. Mrs Payne,” he addresses to my mother this time. “I need you to sign some forms and you can leave with your son.”

“Of course!” Mum says happily and leaves with the doctor, as he keeps explaining some things to her. I’m still on the bed, staring at the piece of paper, blinking.

I’m leaving, I’m finally leaving!

“You’re cleared up, bro! Finally out of this place. I was sick of coming here to see you,” Zayn jokes and I smile widely, too happy.

But then I see Cassidy at the back, smiling sweetly at me. When our eyes meet her smile trembles a bit, but she collects herself and approaches. “You’re finally out of here. Are you happy?” She asks me standing next to Zayn.

“Very,” I say but a part of me is reluctant to go, because that means I won’t see her every day anymore. “I miss my bed,” I add and she giggles.

“I bet,” she concedes. “Well, I guess I should leave so you can get ready to leave. You have Zayn and your mum, so everything is covered. I’ll see you around, maybe, when you come for the sessions,” she says and I nod, feeling a lump in my throat. “It was really nice to meet you, Liam. I wish you the best,” she says and I don’t like this feeling of saying goodbye. We’ve become friends, haven’t we? This sounds like we’ll never see each other again. And I feel like we’re not through, there’s something unfinished between us.

“I’ll see you around,” I say with a weak smile.

I don’t know if Zayn senses this is a private moment or something, but he steps back, giving us space. Cassidy gets closer, standing right in front of me. I feel like I should do something, like take her hand or anything, but I don’t move.

“You know something funny?” She says, smiling to herself. “You remind me a lot of my best friend, in a really good way.”

Cass… my inner voice says, somehow betrayed and bewildered, whereas all I’m thinking is that Cassidy just friendzoned me.

“There’s something about you, I don’t know what, but it’s a good thing,” she adds and I nod because I don’t know what to say to that. “Well, I better leave. Again, good luck and I’ll see you around, maybe.”

“Maybe in campus,” I say hopefully but she smiles sadly, like she doesn’t believe we will. Now I realise I never asked her for her number.

“Maybe,” she agrees and sighs. “Goodbye, Liam,” she says next and stands on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. “It was really nice to meet you and help you here.”

“Thank you,” I say and she smiles, knowing exactly what she means.

“I’m glad I was of help.”

And after that, she turns on her heels and leaves before waving goodbye to Zayn and giving a hug to Mum. She’s out of the room and I feel like a part of me is screaming her name, begging her to come back. That part of me feels like this is not how it was supposed to happen, but I do nothing. This is how it’s supposed to be, I’m done here in the hospital, I can go home.

“You got her number, right?” Zayn asks, getting next to me again. I shake my head, still staring at the door. “Bro, you should’ve.”

Yes, you should’ve, my inner voice agrees and I sigh deeply. There’s nothing I can do about it now.

I look away just when the doctor says goodbye and wishes me luck, and then Mum is helping me to collect my few belongings so I can leave. The nurse doesn’t leave, she helps us and forces me to use the wheelchair. Hospital policy, she says. But it’s okay, it’s just a short way and soon I’m in the car, ready to go home.

I didn’t notice how tired I was until then. All that walking, all that hard work at the gym with Rob drained me out, so I quickly fall asleep in the car. I don’t even know if they are taking me to Wolverhampton or back to my Uni dorm, I just fall asleep, so deep I don’t even remember what I dream of.

+ + + + +

I pace from one side to the other of this empty space. I don’t care where I am, I’m just frustrated. I rub my hands on my face, I ruffle my hair, trying to figure out what to do. What’s my next move. I hate that I don’t know what to do, I should be done by now.

Liam was supposed to notice by now, to tell Cassidy that he had a message from me or something. I’ve even tried to take control over Liam’s body, but it’s pointless. I’m not this body’s soul, I can’t take control. I’m just a guest here and I can only stand by, watching. The best I can is to show him my memories, but he keeps thinking they are dreams or that he is making up all this.

Frustrating bloke.

And now he’s cleared up, he won’t see Cassidy anymore. And he didn’t even get her number! How am I supposed to tell her if I can’t see her? If I’m trapped inside of this body? Can I leave Liam? I don’t even know that.

“Argh!” I groan pulling my hair and I hear someone sighing.

I turn to my left and I see Louis, sitting on his bum with his legs crossed, examining his nails. His hair is the same messy brown and his eyes are not even paying me attention.

“So, how’s the plan going? Any progress?” He asks and his voice tells me he knows exactly how things are going.

“Shut up,” I snap and he shakes his head.

“Uh, are you in a bad mood, Jake? Can I say I told you so already or will you stab me if I try?”

Stabbing him sounds attractive.

“What are you doing here? I’m trying to figure out things and you’re not helping,” I snarl at him, clenching my fists.

“It’d all be finished if you just quit this nonsense and come with me, like you should ,” he tells me patronisingly and I roll my eyes. “You are not supposed to be in Liam’s body. You’re making him doubt his sanity when there’s nothing wrong with that,” he adds.

“You’re only making this harder. If you helped me, I could finish this sooner. I made a vow long ago, I can’t leave without telling her.” It’s now Louis’ turn to roll his eyes.

He stands up and approaches me. “I can’t help you because you’re not supposed to do this. You’re supposed to be in the Next Dimension by now, Jake Wood. You’re only making this worse. You’re not getting closer to tell Cassidy about your feelings for her, quite the opposite, you’re only further from your goal. Leave now.”

“No!” I shout. “I will tell her even if it’s the last thing I do.”

He takes a deep sigh and shakes his head. “This won’t end up like you hope, Jake Wood.”

“It will,” I say stubbornly… It has to end up like I hope, although I’m not even sure how’s that. I’m doing what I can in Liam’s body, heading to this new life. I don’t know what’s gonna happen now, but I can’t give up yet. I have to tell Cassidy I love her. I have to.

-:-:-:-

Dedication to @intoyour_arms. I'm really glad you decided to read this story (:

Bel, xx