"How was the ceremony?" Maryam's mother asked as she sat on the mat, across from Maryam.

Maryam pretended that she had not heard her mother, her mind was still reeling from what she had witnessed. She wondered about what would have happened to Haliyah. Maybe the Mallam would take one look at her and pardon her or maybe not.

Maryam glanced at her mother and looked back down at her meal. To look at her mother these days was really painful. Her eyes were a permanent red, her shoulders slumped from the many beatings from her husband, and her face always hidden in the shadows from the humiliation that she suffered from the other wives.

"Have you had something in your ears?" The Alhaja asked "I asked you a question, Maryam."

Maryam sighed,"I heard you Mama."

"So answer then! How was the ceremony?"

Maryam waited a beat before answering, "It was horrible. I still don't get the purpose of the so called wedding! I think it is and has always been a silly ceremony."

Alhaja Idyat eyes widened in fear as she said:"Hush child! Don't let anyone hear you. It is a beautiful ceremony. You could get married to a wonderful man."

Maryam pushed her plate forward in anger and some of her stew spilled on the mat. She watched as the thick brown broth spread to the floor. "Mama, you're wrong. Did you get married to a wonderful man? You got married to father for goodness sake!"

Alhaja Idyat closed her eyes for a moment before saying, "You're a stupid girl, Maryam. You're only thirteen. You should not be thinking this way. It is my fault!"

Maryam threw her hands up in exasperation,"How's this your fault, Mama? Did you cut my head open and put thoughts there?"

"I sent you to that missionary school. I let you change your name. I let you choose Christianity. I let you choose for yourself."

Before she completed her last sentence, Maryam was already out the door.

**

"She was an idiot. I mean, who wouldn't want to get married to the Mallam?" One girl said while filling her bucket with water. "If I wanted to get married, I would pray it's to the Mallam or Chief Ibrahim."

Maryam put her head down to avoid people seeing how pale and disgusted she was.

"The Mallam and Chief Ibrahim both have plenty wives. I want a fresh man." Maryam recognized this girl. They were both going to the missionary school but Maryam could not remember her name. Perhaps it was Sarah or Shalewa...

On the other end of the stream,where the girls were fetching water, there were a group of young boys or men that were trying to catch fish. One of them called out:

"If you want a fresh man, come to me baby."

Sarah or Shalewa turned away so that they would not see her blush, she turned back and said, "Oh? Where shall we meet then?"

The boys all laughed and the one who had spoken earlier said, "Don't you have a husband, girl?"

"Not yet. None of us do. In fact.."

Maryam blocked the rest of the conversation out. She knew how this went, she experienced it almost everytime she came to the stream. Both parties would just go deep into the thick forest,kiss and fondle each other. Some were caught.. others were not. The boys that were caught were never heard of again and the girls..well... that was another story entirely.

About the time that Maryam was eleven years old, there was a scandal going about the village. Everyone talked about it; at home,at the stream,at the school. Even the white nuns spoke about it, not quite dismissing their air of superiority.
There was a teen of about sixteen who had lied for about a year about not seeing her period. The girl's name was Lateefah and she just wanted to be with this boy. His name was Mumad. Long story short,they were caught having sex in the bush by some secret society. They all consisted of men of course. They had gone to make some sacrifices there.

After that, the town never heard of Mumad again. Lateefah, on the other hand, was given a rather worse punishment. Maryam wasn't so sure how true the rumors were but that's what she heard. It was said that Lateefah was raped by all the men in that secret society and it supposedly went on for a while but she was eventually married off.

Maryam did not see the need to keep a boyfriend or keep your period a secret. No matter how hard you tried to keep both secrets, you would always get caught or get married to a baldie.

That was why Maryam hated the color,red. She felt that red was a sign of finality. Whenever she saw red, it was like the world would be coming to an end immediately. It had an atom of truth in it though: Maryam's feelings. Anytime you saw the color red on your pant, you rush to tell your mother and she in turn tells your father and just like that, your life is over.

It was finally Maryam's turn to fetch water and she bent down and began to scoop water into her bucket with a small bowl. Her bucket was almost full when she heard:

"Fine gal. You need help?" He spoke in rapid hausa and Maryam raised her head.
Ah, she knew this boy. His name was Alamin. He was going to the same missionary school as Maryam and he was in the same class but he was not a serious student so they were not friends. He sat at the back of the class and made lewd jokes at the nuns. He was always part of the crowd that threw stones at Maryam and the others when they went for evangelism. She was supposed to hate him.

She didn't though. For some reason, her heart always skipped a bit when she saw him. Maryam wanted to talk to him sometimes but then she didn't. She just wasn't sure about these weird and mushy feelings.

"No! Get lost." Maryam raised her voice so that he could hear her although she really did not have to do that. Her voice was loud and masculine enough.

"You're so feisty. Did you get married?" His voice was so strong, like his lean muscles. Stronger than hers for sure. He laughed heartily at his joke that you'd think he was so funny.

"Were you deaf when Shalewa said that none of us are married,hm?"

"Hey!" Sarah or Shalewa protested "My name is Sewa!"

Well! She needed not to be angry. She had been close enough.

The girls had start to whisper about her and Maryam carried her bucket full of water on her head and walked away fast, heading home, before they turned against her. She could hear Alamin's laughter following her and echoing in her ears. She imagined how good she would feel if she was the cause of his laughter, in the good way.

Now, wouldn't that be nice? If she had been living in a normal place, a place that wasn't so remote and full of rules, they would probably have something special. It would be just like what she read in her books. Alamin would fall ruthlessly in love with her and she with him. She would sneak out of the house to meet him under a big, mango tree and they would talk until the dark night and she would get into trouble but not too much trouble. They would not have sex immediately, they would wait until she was ready, perhaps when she was sixteen or seventeen, and when they finally did it, it would be near the stream and under the moonlight.

Maryam sighed as she reached the front of her mother's hut. She could not help but wish and daydream, that was all she could do. She entered and began to prepare for school.