Word Count: 2094

~Avila

I stand outside the door, rubbing my hands together anxiously.

I'm not ready for this. This is supposed to do me some good, according to my mother, but I'm frightened it's going to encourage more vivid flashbacks that have been stealing all my energy recently.

Summoning a breath, I press through the door and into the sitting room.

Two girls stand by the large stained glass window, murmuring to each other. Upon hearing the door open, they immediately whirl around, taking me in with wide, borderline frightened eyes.

The girl on the right, with braided dirty blonde hair, erupts into a gushing smile, rushing forward.

"Avila!"

She launches into my arms, nearly forcing me back into the half open door. Everything about her is painfully unfamiliar, cracking back the layers to the void I've been not bothering to fill, but to paint over.

I feel like I should recognise such an overwhelming scent of rose and vanilla. I should remember what it feels like to have her expensive fabric brushing my skin, or to know what she feels like to hug.

Pria, who was apparently once one of my best friends, is tugged away from me by the other.

"Pria, calm down. Did you forget she doesn't remember us?" She scolds. I'm assuming this other one is Venna, of which I've been told so little about.

Again, there's no spark of familiarity looking at her. Her hair is cut to her shoulders, and is sleek and black. Those blue eyes hold so much that she isn't saying.

She looks over me with cool, calm eyes. The tension immediately starts to fade. She's not going to make a big deal out of this, or make me feel lesser than for what has happened to me.

"It's okay," I say, forcing a smile. "You must be Venna and Pria."

"It's so good to see you...alive!" Pria claps her hands together, her cheeks flushed red from excitement.

Venna shakes her head at Pria before sliding her eyes back to me. "We missed you, is what she means."

"Well, thank you for coming to see me." I rub my damp palms down my thighs awkwardly. "I'm trying to make sense of everything right now, and I think talking to some friends will help me."

Admittedly, I'm terrified of these girls.

Knowing past me kept them in close company is the first concerning aspect of all this. I know I was a bad person, that I kept secrets and was horrible. What kind of people must Pria and Venna be to enjoy being around me?

"Do they know how you are alive right now?" Pria asks curiously, reaching out to pick up a clump of my hair, twirling it around her finger absentmindedly.

I stiffen, although I don't pull away.

"Pria, I told you not to ask questions like that." Venna nudges the girl in the side, who pouts.

"It's okay." I gesture at the couches for us to sit on, noting that tea has already been set out on the table between them. "Ah, we don't know why this happened, but I'm alive."

Venna and Pria sit opposite me, both not bothering to hide their scrutiny. I wonder if they are looking for a flaw, for an ounce of dark magic or perhaps some kind of curse that could answer why I'm sitting here right now.

"I think everyone is wondering what happened, but you should tell them in your own time," Venna says, reaching for a cup of green tea.

I pause. "Everyone?"

"The public." Venna exchanges a glance with Pria.

My heart falters. "They know?"

"Oh yes. A couple of days ago Vade's father announced that his son is getting engaged to you, and that it is a miracle you are alive," Venna explains, drawing her cup up to take a sip from.

Throwing decorum to the wind, I slump unceremoniously into the couch, slapping a hand over my eyes.

"Oh no," I groan.

Coming back out to the public was supposed to be something I did, in my own time. I figured I should have done it long ago, but it didn't feel right.

Now everyone knows, and are probably scrambling for answers to this mystery.

"They think you were sick this entire time, and that you never died. That is what they have been told, anyways," Venna explains.

"Great," I mutter.

"It doesn't matter," Pria dismisses. "So, you must be upset about marrying Vade again."

I straighten again, taken aback by how quickly the conversation has changed. I have to remember that they only know the old me, who resented Vade.

"Huh? Oh, ah no, I'm surprisingly okay with it," I tell them, watching their expressions morph into obvious surprise.

"Really? I thought you couldn't stand him." Pria's mouth falls open.

I shift uncomfortably. This was what I was worried about. They have no idea how much has changed. I'm a stranger to them, and this meeting isn't about catching up.

This meeting is about making friends, not retaining them.

"That was before I lost my memory. I trust him," I explain. Nothing in their expressions change. "Even if he clearly hates me."

Venna looks down at her hands, a slight frown gathering between her brows. Pria looks at her, then quickly clears her throat, deciding to move on.

"What about the mysterious man you were in love with?" She asks.

I know she means Emerick. Ever since I realised that the tattoo on his hand is a rebellion symbol, I've been trying not to think about him. He's going to attempt to make contact soon, which is frankly terrifying.

"I don't know him anymore," I admit. I'm not sure how much they know about Emerick, but discussing him feels like willing him into existence.

"Are you attracted to Vade?" Venna asks abruptly.

Both their gazes pin me. Suddenly I get the feeling there is only one right answer, but I don't feel like lying. It seems like lying was all I did before my death.

"I don't know. He's handsome, but I have so much else to think about," I exclaim.

There's little point getting caught up in how I feel about Vade. He's made it clear he doesn't want anything to do with me, and I should respect that.

Venna looks at, her jaw settling into a hard line.

"Is everything okay?" I ask tentatively, getting the feeling I said the wrong thing.

"Venna has been in love with Vade for years," Pria tells me.

Venna slaps her arm. "Pria!"

A mass of shock, guilt and a little jealousy sinks to the bottom of my stomach. I've stepped back into something far more complicated than I could have imagined.

"You're together?"

"No, he never liked her back," Pria continues, receiving yet another slap from Venna.

"You're insufferable Pria," she grumbles, before looking toward me. "He always had an eye on you, even though you didn't want him.

"I don't want to get in the way..." I stammer.

The last thing I need is to be stuck in the cross-fire of whatever is going on between Vade and Venna. Even if it is nothing, Venna clearly has residual feelings.

"You're not, it doesn't matter. After you died, or whatever happened, he just left. He never came to me, never visited or even wrote a letter." Venna picks up her tea again, draining it before sitting back, looking awfully glum.

I shift uncomfortably. "I'm sorry."

"Like I said, it doesn't matter." She shrugs.

This conversation desperately needs to be steered in another direction. Even Pria looks uncomfortable, who seems to have no social perception whatsoever. It's a trait I immediately like in her.

"Well, what were our favourite things to do as friends?" I ask, smiling tightly. This is supposed to be about revealing more about who I was before my death.

"We love to shop. We wait until it's sundown then we go and convince all the shopkeepers to stay open so we can raid the place," Pria tells me, her brilliant smile returning. It's definitely her best feature. It lights up her whole face, including her soft brown eyes.

"We haven't done it since you died," Venna adds, rubbing her arms.

Pria nods and I sigh.

I came into this unsure if I would bother giving these two a chance, due to my own history. Now, I see there is a gap in the friendship that I have left. They've waited for me, even if they don't know they have.

"That sounds...interesting. We can give it a try," I exclaim. I'm not sure walking through the streets is a good idea for me right now, but I have to do something to maintain this friendship.

I know I don't need to, but it feels like the right thing to do.

"So, when is the wedding?" Venna asks.

I brush my hair back, staring down at the tea which must be room temperature by now. "Soon, I think. I'm sure my mother will be anxious to get it done now that people know I'm alive."

Pria grins. "I can't wait to see your dress. You're going to be beautiful."

I go to offer my thank you, but my voice gets stuck in my throat as I look at Venna. Her stare is pinned behind me, her entire body stiff.

Turning around, I see Crimson walking in with Vade beside her. Her arm is locked through his, and part of me thinks she is physically battling to get him in here.

He couldn't look less interested in the tea party happening before him. He simply looks at us all in turn, a bored expression on his face.

"Hello girls," Crimson greets, her smile sickly sweet. "I don't mean to interrupt. Vade and I just thought we would come by and see how you are all doing."

I narrow my eyes slightly as Vade's gaze shifts to mine. He doesn't reveal anything other than an increasing irritation at being dragged into this situation.

"We are well, your majesty." Venna bows her head slightly.

"I figured Vade and Avila may want to lay eyes on each other for a moment. I know they don't like to be apart for too long." Crimson rubs Vade's arm, who frowns a little.

I glance back at Venna and Pria. Pria looks amused, although Venna is looking down at her feet, visibly uncomfortable.

What is going on?

I sweep back to look at Vade, who shakes his head slightly, conveying that this was in no way his idea.

"Anyways, Avila, may I speak to you for a moment?" Crimson asks, her tone sharp enough to express how little of a choice I have but to obey.

Excusing myself, I follow Crimson from the room. Vade is already halfway down the hallway, uninterested in sticking around for this conversation.

Crimson grabs my arm as she closes the door, yanking me closer. I grit my teeth against the spark of pain her filed nails bring to my skin as they dig in deeply.

"I will not let that vile girl get her hands on Vade," Crimson hisses lowly.

I frown. "Who, Venna?"

"The only reason I allow you to spend time with those gossiping creatures is due to their connections in this territory. Your father values their parents' contributions to our reign," she explains.

"What does that have to do with Vade?" I question.

"She is in love with him. Maids have found evidence of her letters in his room," Crimson exclaims, shaking her head. "She has been found to linger around his room, even when he is not there."

I swallow uncomfortably. For some reason, that bothers me slightly. I imagine I gave Venna amble permission to pursue Vade, although now, I want him all to myself.

I know it's selfish I just...I can't help it.

Still, I'm not going to feed into Crimson's paranoia.

"Vade doesn't share Venna's feelings, apparently," I assure her, trying to pull myself from her grasp, although it's little use. "Even so, it's me he is marrying."

"Keep her away from him. He belongs to you."

With that, Crimson storms off down the hallway, her ivory skirts billowing out behind her.

I exhale slowly. This is a lot more complicated than I thought.

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