❝Haven't had a dream in a long time
see, the life I've had
can make a good man bad
So for once in my life
let me get what I want
Lord knows it would be the first time❞

Chapter Eleven:
A Partnership Proposal
(cont'd)

"My father used to bring me here every summer."

Hans' eyes were focused over the city, his arms leaning against the railing. I noticed that that a couple of his soft, black strands had fallen astray in front of his eyes but he made no move to push them away as he spoke, voice slightly dreamy.

"It was his way of trying to make things right with me. It almost worked too. Every time we came here, I felt like just another kid for once. Dad would dress up in shorts and a regular khaki shirt, and not be the CEO I've always seen him as. We would spend an entire weekend, going around the fairs, restaurants and shops, just having fun like a normal father and son."

Hans stopped, eyes blinking away the memories as a shadow washed over them. His next words were awfully low, and the hurt in his voice made me want to reach out and grab his hand.

"And then the weekend would end. Things would go back to how they always were. All I would do is wait for the next time he'd bring me here, just so I could trick myself into believing the feeling that we were actually family."

A wistful smile curled his lips and Hans shook his head before straightening his posture, his hands tightening around the metal railing.

"I come here to get away from it all. It's my escape."

Hans' eyes finally met my own. Seriousness morphed his face and robbed it entirely of the glimpses of peace I had seen before. His voice was low in his throat as he spoke again, concentrating on me fully.

"I know you think that I'm an imposter, Tris. That I've been fooling you and playing you all this time but that isn't what it is. I was afraid."

"Afraid?" My voice cracked and I had to take a second to gulp away the uncertainty when I spoke again. "You were afraid? Do you know how ashamed I felt when I realized just how long you've known me?"

"Ashamed?" Confusion struck Hans square in the eye. He hadn't been expecting that at all.

"Yes, Hans. Ashamed. My past was my secret, it's the only thing I've ever had since moving here to Washington that was entirely my own. I didn't want people to class me as some pathetic loser so I took this as a chance to start with a clean slate but as it turns out," my lips turned in, and I had to bite back the venom as I spat, "you've always known."

"Pathetic loser?" Hans repeated, staring at me with increasingly narrowing eyes. "Is that what you think of yourself?" I was surprised with the amount of frustration in his voice as he stepped forward, reaching forward with a hand that soon cupped the side of my face.

"I'm not the girl I was back then," I whispered, eyes closing in shame. The tears were gone but my words spoke volumes for the misery inside of my chest. "Jacob destroyed me. You of all people know that I'm nothing like the girl I was before."

"You're right. You're nothing like her."

His confirmation of my worst fears was like a slap in the face. I flinched back, eyes flashing open at his words. I started to take a step away from him when Hans cupped my entire face in both his hands, whispering close enough for me to see every bit of sincerity in his words.

"You're better."

Hans smiled as he felt me freeze in shock beneath his touch. His thumb skirted over my lips before resting on my cheek, tracing circles there. "You're stronger. You're independent. You're hard working, and committed, and you stand up for yourself. You're the best version of yourself I've ever seen you be."

Every word he said was punctuated with truth. I found my heart swelling inside of my chest – not with pride or confidence. Was this really what Hans had always thought of me? He wasn't...disgusted?

"In college, you were vibrant and full of life. You were head over heels about this guy who meant the world to you. You were...innocent. Unbroken. Now, yes, you aren't as whole as you were then. The world wronged you, you had your heart broken and you lost the fantasy of a dream. But you're stronger than you've ever been before. You don't let the world play you anymore, you take control of your own future. What's pathetic about that?"

"Hans..." I hiccupped, sliding my hand over his.

"That's why I couldn't tell you, Tris. That's why I couldn't tell you when I saw you after all these years and spoke to you for the very first time in that hotel lobby."

"What do you mean?" I blinked. "Why did you hide it from me, Hans?"

He held my gaze before releasing it and dropping his hands to his side too, turning away from me.

"You don't know just how much I've admired you all these years."

"Me?" I stuttered. He was joking, right? Catching the disbelief in my question, Hans faced me again, a full smile on his lips but it was tinged with sadness.

"Yes. You. You remind me so much of her." I stared at him, not understanding. He wasn't talking about... "Of my mother."

"What?" I laughed softly, pointing my thumb at myself. "Of Anya? How is that-"

"I noticed you from the very first day – when you rose up on that pedestal and delivered your opening speech to all the first years. You were a dream, Tris. Ambitious, driven, energetic. I couldn't take my eyes off of you from that day onward."

My mouth formed a silent 'O', hearing but not quite believing everything that Hans was saying. He was describing me in a beautiful light I had never once seen myself in. It wasn't flattery, it was honesty. And that's what made me realize just how genuine Hans was being as he took a step closer to me, followed by another.

"I was okay playing the silent spectator. I knew you were with Jacob but even if you hadn't been with that tool," he paused, gently grabbing my left hand with his warm fingers, "I would never have worked up the courage to come talk to you. To make myself visible. I stuck to admiring you in secret and after we graduated, I wished you the best in the world because a woman like you...a woman like Anya, deserves nothing less."

I gulped down the icy chunk of oncoming tears I could feel in my throat. "Hans," I repeated, the emotions stifling my voice in my throat. He stopped me, pressing a finger against my lips and then curled that hand under my chin.

"I followed your career for years. You were kind of my role model without even knowing it really," he chuckled softly, cupping my chin. "I'm the heir to this multi-billion dollar company I've never wanted to manage and you were a corporate queen taking the business world by storm, working hard for everything you've ever earned. I never expected us to cross paths again but when we did, I couldn't pass it up. Chances like that don't come up without there being a reason."

"So you decided to play the bad guy and make me want to kill you?" I raised an eyebrow at him, my question earning a hearty laugh from Hans who looped his arms around my waist. I didn't stop him as I rested my hands on his chest, still smiling up at him questioningly.

"Granted I took the worst approach but I improvised. Besides, something told me you were attracted to assholes so I acted like one."

I gasped, smacking him on the chest.

"Don't give me that, Tris," he grumbled, grabbing my hand and forcing it down to stop from hitting him more. "You seemed to fall for dicks, what with Jacob and all. I didn't know how else to charm you."

"You could have just been yourself!" I huffed, glaring at him. "You could have just told me who you were instead of tricking me, and blackmailing me into this job."

"You don't understand," Hans said gently, my mouth drawing shut at his words. "I was worthless when I first saw you. I was still worthless when we met again. Nothing had changed for me in the years that passed whereas you, you had grown into a better person. I wanted to start fresh, just as much as you did Tris. I wanted to earn your respect, your love, not plead for it through some past connection we both had."

"But I-"

"I've always been invisible and for the first time that night, you saw me. Not in the most favorable light," Hans smirked, making me want to hit him again but I refrained. "But you saw me and I wanted more. It was wrong, I know, to keep it from you this long. I wanted to tell you at the hotel, after we bumped into Jacob. But that night you told me you respected me. I earned that respect, and I was scared telling you the truth would take it all away."

The wheel came to a halt beneath us and from the corner of my eye, I could make out that we'd reached the pinnacle. But nothing was worth breaking this so I kept my eyes trained on Hans', not missing the way the light streamed through to his blue and green orbs as he spoke his next words.

"I've spent half my life trying to tell the truth apart from the lies, and the other half trying to live it." He took a deep breath and his chest shook beneath my open palm, like the rumble of the Earth below us. "You're the only thing that made sense through it all. I don't want to lose you, Tris."

I pull him in by his shirt, his words making a full smile spread on my face.

"You won't."

Hans looked surprised at my reaction but it was short lived as a gentle smile graced his beautiful lips, happiness taking its place. I looped my arms around his shoulders, treading my fingers through his midnight dark hair. His confession still swirled around my mind, the full extent of it hitting me that I almost, almost missed the words he said as our lips met.

"I love you."

I kissed him with all my soul, with all the acceptance and warmth I could give him knowing that he had been deprived of it for far too long. Hans held me to him like a dream about to slip away. I promised him I never would. We kissed, and he hummed the three words like an ode, again and again, as we floated there mid-air at the top of our infinite little world.

_____

Song: Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want by Elefant

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A/N: For those of you unable to view the private chapters, I'll be publishing a separate story later today containing just the private chapters. Keep an eye out for it!