Pairing: David/Leesha

"Wait...so his EX-WIFE...THE Ex-Wife April is dropping off the kids?!"

Leesha rolled her eyes at the exclamation from Julie, switching her to speakerphone to finish up her hair. "It's not my first choice. He swears to me that she'll be on good behavior...but...I dunno. They had a bitter, nasty divorce and I'm supposed to open the door like 'Oh hi, Mrs Rizzie...yes I'm the young chick fucking your ex-husband! Care for some tea?' Like it's just nothing! And three kids on top of it. THREE!"

"I'd rather three than four, thanks very much," Julie offered. "You'll be fine! You handled those assholes in the Vegas bar, don't forget. You can handle three kids."

"Long as they aren't entitled arrogant little twatwaffles," Leesha giggled, spritzing her hair.

"Are you staying at home or going out somewhere?" Julie asked. "Coz you know you're my test case for when Dorothea finally relents and lets Jon have the boys."

"Is that my favorite stripper!?" David called out, sticking his head into the bathroom.

"Is that my favorite walking, talking toilet brush head?" the Aussie retorted down the phone line. "Quit with the stripper remarks, mate, and I'll stop calling you a toilet brush."

Leesha's laughing followed by David growling, "Still waiting for my lap dance."

"What?! So you can throw money at me again? No thanks," Julie said, sweetness dripping copiously from her words.

"If I remember correctly, you never gave me back the money after slapping me...so..."

"Hey...that's what they taught us at stripper's school, baby," she replied. "Never give back the cash."

"Aww don't worry," Leesha said, running her fingers through Dave's curls. "I'll give you a dance later, Daddybear."

"She's good, too," Julie said. "Taught her everything I know. Okay...I'm going to leave you two to do...whatever it is you're going to do next. Good luck, honey."

"I'll let you know how it goes," Leesha replied. "Go play with Jonny."

"Hmmm, you know I will! Bye you two," she said and hung up.

David wrapped his arms around Leesha's waist, kissing her neck and staring at their reflections. "Sorry...I overheard you talking from the bedroom. I promise there's no reason to be nervous, my love. The kids know I've been dating someone new so it's not a complete surprise."

"Let me make sure I got this...Colton plays football, big sports and car guy...Gabby loves Jonas Brothers and Twilight...TygerLily loves horses and...and..."

"Jonas Brothers," David answered with a sigh. "But call her Lily. She prefers that. She's also a very...energetic little girl. Really have to keep an eye on her or else she'll wander off."

"So she prefers her middle name...got i--"

"That's not her middle name."

Leesha raised an eyebrow, knowing Dave's penchant for celestial names. "Do I dare ask?"

"Levanah."

"And I thought naming your children after the moon was weird...that's just cruel..."

"Lily was my Grandmother's name...my Dad's mother," David replied with a smile. "Welcome to a family of Jews, babygirl. And Levanah means...moon... "

"Poor kids. So what time will they be here again? Do I have enough time to change clothes if I want to?"

David looked her up and down, licking his lips with apparent relish. "I'd say since we're grilling and hanging out by the pool, this sexy two piece will be perfect."

"Honey, you can't cook to save your life," she giggled, hooking her arms around his neck and kissing him sweetly.

"No but I'm a mean griller," he said, looking down at her and wiggling his eyebrows.

"Don't you mean gorilla? You animal," Leesha giggled as he pulled a face at her.

"Mmm I'll show you an animal," he growled, throwing her over his shoulder. Leesha squealed in delight as he threw her on the bed, her legs finding his waist and pulling him into her. "We got a little time still, my beautiful future bride."

His nimble fingers pulled at the bikini top string, exposing her pink nipples and his lips wrapped around one, teasing it into a hard wet pebble. Leesha arched her back, stretching her arms above her head.

BEEP BEEP BEEP!

David's head shot up as the car horn honked over and over. He glanced over at the alarm clock and groaned. "Fuckin' bitch...I told her noon. She's an hour early." He rolled off his fiancee and kissed away her pout. "Hold that moan for me, sweet thing."

He threw on a blue t-shirt and rushed from the bedroom, leaving Leesha to sit up and, sadly, retie her top. She slipped on the halter top David loved and, with a deep breath, walked downstairs to her doom.

"Daddy!!" Lily screeched, running up and jumping into David's arms.

"Lilypad, I missed you," he mumbled, hugging her tightly. He kissed the top of Gabby's head and fist bumped Colton, who by now was too cool for parent hugs. "How was Montana?"

"Boring," Colton muttered.

"It was okay," Gabby added, following her brother inside and dropping her bag by the door.

April closed the door behind her with a determined click as she surveyed the house from just inside the door. "The place is a mess, David. What have you been doing...or rather who have you been doing?"

"Nice to see you too, April." To say David and his ex-wife were on shaky terms was an understatement. Their divorce and custody battle had been a nasty one, but both had resigned to be civil for the kids. Sometimes. "That's what happens when you work so much. Not like I'd expect you to understand."

"And what do you call looking after your children?" she countered, looking him up and down. "I work equally as hard as you do and don't you forget it."

"Don't forget that Alimony you raped from me in court," he said in a low harsh whisper. "And child support. Thank god the alimony stopped when you remarried."

"Are you Daddy's pretty lady?" Lily called out, looking over her Dad's shoulder at Leesha and halting the argument between her parents.

All eyes in the room zeroed in on Leesha, who blushed at the attention. "Um...yeah...hi..." She waved timidly.

"Hmm, not your usual type, David," April said, eyeing the stranger in the house. "She's so...plump...and-. Exactly how old are you, dear?" she asked Leesha.

"I...um...well...I just turned 27 two months ago."

"Hmmf," April huffed, looking Leesha up and down again.

Lily climbed down and ran over to Leesha. "Well I agree with Daddy. You're pretty!"

"You must be Lily. Your Daddy's told me a lot about you," Leesha smiled and shook the girl's outstretched hand.

"Definitely has a better rack than Lexi. Nice one, Dad!" Colton exclaimed, imitating a slam dunk.

April scoffed and rolled her eyes at David, showing off her obvious annoyance. "She could dress with a little more modesty and--"

"Lay off, April!" David snapped. "You don't have to be a bitch all your life, ya know."

"And you should grow up and date someone your own age," she snarled.

David laughed in her face and choked out, "After seeing you fall apart like an old beat up car, I'll stick with the younger ones. Thanks."

"Mom! Dad!" Colton said, "Please...no more fighting. We've had enough." The young boy stood protectively in front of his twin.

An uncomfortable silence fell. Leesha finally spoke, waving her arms limply by her side. "Your Dad's cooking out so how about we get your bags upstairs? Sooner that happens, sooner we can all hop in the pool!"

"YAY!" Lily ran upstairs with the enthusiasm only a pool could incite. Leesha tried to help with the suitcases but Colton was having none of it.

"No way," he said, backing her away. "You relax. I got this."

"You do? Okay then!" Gabby dropped her own bags at her twin's feet and beamed.

"Carry your own shit, LITTLE sister," Colton laughed.

"Excuse me! You're only 4 minutes older! That doesn't count!"

"Bite me!" Her brother yelled back.

"Speaking of," Gabby rounded on Leesha, "Team Edward or Team Jacob?"

Leesha looked around confused. "Oh...that's a Twilight thing? Neither because they both break all lore surrounding vampires and werewolves."

Gabby raised her eyebrows, her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. "Well...Edward is passionately--"

"Stalking. He stalks Bella like a predator with prey. In weird creepy ways," Leesha replied. "Hunny, I write smut and romances as a hobby. I know a stalker and bad writing when I see it."

"But he--."

"Give it up, Lunatic," David said, walking up and grabbing her bags. "Go upstairs while I finish with Leesha and your mother."

Once the kids were out of earshot and the adults were left alone downstairs, David rounded on April. "It's time for you to go. You've dropped off the kids, insulted my fiancee and had your fight with me. Your day is complete."

"Fiancee?!" April repeated and David's eyes widened. "So you two aren't just dating?"

"No," David answered quietly, slinking over to the fridge and taking the tray of burgers. He knew there was no getting rid of April now.

"You know what, I think I'll stay. Get to know more about your....fiancee," April smirked and David cursed.

"Absolutely not," he argued, "It's her time to meet and get to know the kids...not you."

"If she's going to be spending time around our children, then I think I have the right to know who and what she is, don't you?" April said, standing her ground. "I mean you didn't even properly introduce her!"

Leesha plastered a smile on her face and took on the 'customer service' voice she reserved for people like this. "Hello April, my name's Leesha but you can call me Mrs. Bryan when this engagement ring turns into a wedding band and I'm gonna be the one sleeping with your ex-husband for years to come. Such a pleasure to meet you."

David snorted and held his stomach as he laughed. "Well...you wanted to meet her," he said to April. "Sarcastic, wiseass and fiery...April this is Leesha. Leesha...my ex-wife April. Happy?"

"If you're expecting an apology, you're sadly mistaken," April replied, arching her eyebrow at the younger woman. "I will not ever apologize for wanting to keep his...his playthings from my children. Whether you last the distance with him, which I doubt very much, my children will always be my number one priority. Do we understand each other?"

"I apologize for the inconvenience my pussy is causing you but this," she gestured down her body, "is here to stay. So if you don't want me taking off my earrings and--."

"And before the southern boxer comes out to fight," David picked her up around the waist and moved her out of punching distance, "Goddamnit...April...you got one hour. That's it."

"So classy!" April picked up her purse and pushed past them, stalking toward the pool area.

Once out of hearing range, Leesha rounded on Dave. "That's your fucking ex-wife?"

David rubbed his temple. "Yep...that's the migraine that divorced me." He reached into a drawer for some pain relief and washed down three pills with his beer.

"Was she like that during the marriage?"

"Nah...she used to be mean," he said, sighing and wrapped his arms around Leesha's waist. "She's always had it out for me since our divorce. I think it's just jealousy that I'm still attracted to younger women...and the whole cheating on her thing."

"C'mon, Daddy!!!" Lily shouted, running passed the kitchen in her pink bathing suit and goggles.

"Coming, Princess!"

*~*

"Two hours!! She's been here grilling me and watching me like a fucking hawk for two hours!" Leesha complained in a hushed whisper to David, leaning into him by the grill to keep April from eavesdropping.

"I know...I'm sorry, babe," he apologized, loading the burgers and sausage onto a platter. "The kids are loving you though!"

"Yeah, Gabby and Lily have been running around like little wild things," Leesha said with a sigh. "But Colton...he's been quiet the whole time. Do you think he's okay?"

David nodded and removed the burgers and hot dogs from the grill. "I think he's just adjusting to having you around." He set the platter of meat on the buffet table. "C'mon, kids! Time to eat!"

"Ok so lay it on us," Colton started, squirting ketchup on his burger. "Where'd you meet Dad and where?"

Leesha took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. More questions...but from far more important people than April. "Well...to be honest, I met him backstage with my best friend, Julie. We were VIPs but I've always looked up to your Dad."

"So you're a groupie," April interjected.

"April, I swear to god if you don't shut up and let her and the kids talk, I'll drag you out of here myself," David snarled and got a nasty look from April.

The twins rolled their eyes and Gabby said, "I think what Mom meant was 'You're a Bon Jovi fan?'"

"I am...and have been for many years," Leesha answered.

"Who's Julie?" Gabby asked, interrupting the flow of conversation.

"She's from Australia. Been a pain in my ass for years and now Jon gets to deal with--"

"Oooh...Australia?!" Lily exclaimed. "Does she have a kangaroo?"

Leesha and David laughed at the little girl's excitement. "No...but she has a thing about putting pineapple on burgers. And a thick accent."

"Like how?" Lily asked. "Like Crocodile Dundee? Crikey...that's not a knife," the little girl said in her best imitation of the famous Australian.

"Pineapple on burgers?! Blasphemous," Colton screwed up his nose. "What about you? Where are you from?"

"Indiana but I've lived much farther south for many years," Leesha answered. "I'm more of a tech geek. Literally the exact opposite of someone who would land a man like your Dad."

Gabby smiled and whispered, "Yet here you are and here he is."

Leesha grinned to herself and over to David. "You're right...here we are." They all fell silent to enjoy the food but Leesha could feel several pairs of eyes on her.

"You said you like to write smut and romance?" April piped in, less venom in her voice.

"With Julie. She's my co-writer," Leesha answered, "So yes," she said pointedly to Gabby, "I know true vampire lore."

"And a temptress as well," David said, sotto voce. Leesha heard, however, and turned to arch an eyebrow at him. He simply winked and shrugged his shoulders. "What?! It's true. She's got Jonny wrapped around her little finger."

"We'll see who's wrapped around my little finger later tonight."

"Finally!" Colton exclaimed, holding aloft his lemonade in salute, "Dad's got competition."

"Oh shit!" Lily squealed and jumped up from her seat. Ketchup and mustard ran down her front. "Sorry!"

"Lily!" April scolded and pushed from the chair. "Come along and get cleaned up before you get sticky," she snapped.

"No, I want Leesha to take me," the little girl said, turning her blue eyes, so much like her father's, to Leesha. "Please?"

David attempted to hide his snort of laughter behind his beer bottle.

"Um...sure," she said. Leesha stood and held out a hand to Lily. "Nothing a little water won't wash off." Lily took her hand and went inside, leaving the twins staring at their Dad.

"Turned away by your own kid. How's it feel, Ape?"

"Lily has not turned on me, asshole," April spat out between clenched teeth.

"Fuck you," David laughed and looked over at his twins. "So...what do you think?"

Colton and Gabby exchanged a glance, nodding their heads in agreement. "She's cute," Colton said.

"I think she's nice enough," Gabby supplied. "Just bad taste in vampires."

"If that's the biggest flaw, I'll take it," David said, draining his bottle. "I think it's time you leave now," he said, turning to his ex-wife, pinning her with a barely polite glare. "I've allowed you to stay longer than originally agreed on. It's now time for the kids to get used to Leesha without you breathing sulphur down anyone's neck."

April crossed her arms in frustration. "Alright...alright fine. I'll go but you tell her I'll be keeping an eye on her."

"That'll make her happier than Christmas," David said dryly.

"She's not Jewish?" Colton asked curiously.

"No...she's spiritual but not religious. Kinda like your Uncle Jon," he explained. "But she's open to our traditions. Come on April...how about I walk you out?"

"I can find my way out, asshole. Remember this was MY home before her's." April stood and snatched up her bag.

"Yeah, but at least this way, I'll know you're actually out," David said, standing up to follow her. "No fighting, you two," he said, pinning his eldest two with a facsimile of Jon's stink-eye before following the tip tap tip tap of April's high heels through the house.

Leesha and Lily were coming out of the downstairs bathroom, Lily now free of the ketchup and mustard dilemma. "Oh...you're leaving so soon?" She asked in mock disappointment to April.

"Just remember," April said, not bothering to hide the ugly sneer on her face, "I'll be watching you."

"Huh...David didn't tell me you were into voyeurism," Leesha winked and walked Lily out into the yard. "Spoiler alert...you might need to buy more batteries cos it's gonna get oh-so dirty," she said loudly over her shoulder.

April's mouth fell open and David busted out laughing, the sound echoing off the walls. He opened the door and she left in a huff, leaving him to fall against the door and exhale in relief.