so i actually figured this out a couple months ago but i don't really think i actually addressed it here?? cause of my spotty activity and whatever

anyways

i'm nonbinary.

i've been thinking about this a lot for the past...jeez, at least a year. i think around November 2018 i started wondering if i was genderfluid, and i was identifying as that for a while.

then somewhere last spring i learned about being bigender, and i thought that fit better. 

and it did, for a while.

but the truth is that i'm just,, hovering in the spectrum of being completely genderless.
saying i was fluid and bigender was just trying to stay some sort of 'normal'- clinging onto the fading bits of my femininity. i wasn't ready to acknowledge that i'm just...not a girl.

but now i am, so here.

hi. nothing else has changed. i'm still me, i'm still Rush. i'm still the same lunatic i've always been.

but i go by they/them now.

for the most part, i'm still...kind of?? okay with feminine titles, at least some of them. like a lot of my Instagram friends call each other 'queen' a lot, and i've found that doesn't bother me. one of my friends also calls me 'mom' a lot, and that's fine too. 

but please don't call me 'she' anymore. i just. my dysphoria freaks the fuck out and it's like physically painful. jeez.

i'm not out to my family yet, but i've announced this on a couple of my other sites so i figured it was time to do it here.

so yeah. i'm enby. that's what's new.

c:

Until the next burst of randomness,

-Rush