"Okay, Jophy! You ready for study time?" Ruth asked as she stepped out of the bathroom I quickly shook my head as I slowly sat up on the bed. "Why?"

"I'm just exhausted" I mumbled and she chuckled, "I'm not ready to sit for hours and bury my face in a book"

She raised an eyebrow and her lip curled up in a smirk, "who was the person that said and I quote, I'm quite passionate about this course and I don't mind putting in all the efforts to study it?" she teased and I glared at her making her laugh. "Oh please, quit the dramatics and get ready for study time. And yeah, you owe me details of how it went with the president and why you came back smiling even tho your eyes were red"

A big smile graced my face at the thought of my time with Zadkiel, but I immediately wiped the smile off my face when I noticed Ruth smirking at me. I shook my head at her and began bringing out the books I'd need to study.

"Do you have a crush on the president?" Ruth asked from nowhere and I instantly choked on air. "You started smiling at the mention of him. So have you joined the 99.9 per cent of girls that are head over heels for him?"

I hit my chest repeatedly as I coughed and shook my head, "no no, I don't have a crush on him!" I managed to whisper-yell amidst the coughs but she gave me a look of disbelief and turned away. "Stop coming up with such theories, and let's leave for our studies" I hurriedly packed my books and rushed off before her.

The moment I walked outside, I leaned by the wall and exhaled loudly. I took a few moments to collect my thoughts before I started trudging to the study hall.

Ruth's words resonated over and over again in my head with each step I took, and the more it did, the more I found myself thinking of our time in the garden. Being in his arms felt so safe and so perfect, it felt like a place I wouldn't mind staying in for as long as I could.

But that doesn't mean I have a crush on him, does it? I shook my head and slapped my cheeks lightly. Of course, it doesn't.

He's the only person I've hugged apart from Ruth and Yeshua, I'm bound to feel a certain type of way. It doesn't mean I have a crush on him. It could have been anyone. It could have been Gabriel and that doesn't mean I have a crush on him.

"With the way you rushed off, I would have assumed you were trying to avoid my question" Ruth whispered into my ear and my heart leapt out of my chest. I slowly turned to her with my hand pressed against my chest and she was smiling mischievously at me. Oblivious to the mini heart attack she just caused me.

After spending a few days with Ruth, I've got an insight into the type of person she is. And one thing that makes her, HER, is her ability to get almost everything right. She says she's intuitive. I say she's very nosey.

"You are so nosey, Ruthie" I mumbled and scrunched my nose up.

"Hey! You rhymed!" she exclaimed and I gave her the side-eye but it didn't phase her a bit. "Well maybe that's why God has specially blessed me with the word of knowledge" she shrugged and I shook my head.

We continued our walk in silence till we got to the entrance of the study hall, and just as we were about to walk in she held me back. "If you have a crush on the president, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's ok for your heart to beat faster at the thought of him and for you to want to be with him almost all the time" she grinned and my eyes widened.

"I pray you understand all you study tonight, amen. See you later, kiddo" she patted my shoulders and walked off while I stood rooted to the spot staring at the place she stood a while ago.

"What the..." I breathed out and turned to the direction she waltzed off in but she was already out of sight. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I walked into the hall. She sat in the second row and a big grin covered her face the moment I walked in, but I shook my head at her and took my seat in the fourth row.

We had decided days ago to sit separately so we'd not distract each other during studies and for the first time, I was especially grateful for that decision. Once I was settled, I forced myself to push all thoughts of Zadkiel to the back of my mind before I opened my books.

I'd chosen psychology purely out of passion and happiness at finally having something to look forward to, but I wasn't prepared enough for the difficulty that came with the course.

I spend hours sitting in a classroom and I'd only understand about half of what's being taught, and that has led me into spending extra hours studying and it was exhausting.

But it wasn't as exhausting as having to deal with them. Shivers immediately ran down my spine at the thought of them and I immediately pried my books open. I would rather die studying than go back to them.

I completely tuned out everyone around me as I began reading through the textbook, and the more I read the more I tuned everyone out and got emerged into what I was reading.

"If God is so good, why does he let his children get plagued with mental health issues?" I mumbled after I read a paragraph in the textbook and almost instantly my mind went to Zadkiel. I wonder what answer he'd have for this question as well.

I shook my head and made to continue studying when a shadow cast over me and I instantly looked up to see Ruth staring down at me with a smile.

"It's obvious you want to study more but it's one and a half hours already. Time to go" she tapped her empty wrist and I rolled my eyes. "Pack it up kid or you'll be burnt out!" She exclaimed and I breathed out a laugh. A stranger would think she was unserious, but no, she just does this so her actions of waking me up at night to study will be justified.

I shook my head at her and packed up my books before we walked out of the hall. I was already anticipating going back to our room and crashing on my bed as we trudged to our hostel but we bumped into the student council, which automatically changed the plan. At least for me.

We greeted them as usual and while Gabriel and Ruth slipped off to their normal banters, Josephine didn't seem too happy to see me and I guessed it was because of what happened earlier.

"Jophiel, can we talk?" Zadkiel asked, dragging my attention away from an annoyed Josephine and I nodded softly. He motioned for us to walk away a bit from the crowd but before we could take a step, Josephine immediately cut in.

"You two shouldn't wander off too far, stay within sight" she mumbled and I felt Zadkiel stiffen a little before we both walked away.

"I'm sorry if I got you into any trouble with the student council" I apologized once we had walked a considerable distance and he chuckled.

"I'm the president, Jophiel. It's just a friend's issue, don't worry about it" he assured me and I nodded despite the thousand and one questions that ran through my mind about what he meant by friends' stuff. Josephine wasn't acting like a friend or maybe it was a Christian friend stuff. "I called you out because of our question and answer session..."

"Yeah, about that, I'm sorry but I have a quick question." He bobbed his head and I took that as my clue to go ahead, "if God is so good, why does he let his children get plagued with mental health issues?" I asked and his lips tugged up in a smile.

"I'll start by saying that mental illnesses stem from the world and all its evil. And once you concern yourself so much with the world, or the enemy gets you tangled in it, you get affected. And it's just like being sick, God doesn't let people suffer because it pleases Him, it happens because unlike what we think God isn't dictating every single thing that happens in the world. It's a result of our actions, all God can do is offer a solution." He paused and smiled "everything from God is pure and perfect, that's why there's the redemption plan and hope for healing" he paused and smiled, "well, I hope that answered your question"

I bobbed my head even though I wasn't fully convinced. "So what did you want to say about our sessions?" I asked and his shoulders stiffened. Silence immediately settled between us and he held my gaze for a while before he broke eye contact and cleared his throat.

"About that, Jophiel, I'd like to cancel all our sessions for this week, we can continue next week or so," he said and for a moment I froze. That was the last thing I expected.

But I wasn't too shocked. Good and warm things will always get snatched away from you.

I let out a breath and smiled. "Is this because of what happened earlier?" I asked and just like I expected, he didn't answer me and just lowered his gaze. "Well, that's fine, just tell Josephine to not hate me" I joked and he instantly snapped his head back up.

He made an attempt to say something but I immediately cut him off, "well, thank you for telling me. I'll be going now"

He held my gaze for a little while before he gave me a small nod and I forced a smile on my face. I turned on my heels after that and walked away calmly with a smile on my face, despite the taunts from that voice for thinking I could feel safe with someone. What a joke.

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