Alex pov

It's been weeks and John still hasn't woken up and I'm terrified....i haven't slept in days or ate anything laf has came to make sure I eat something even if that means have a muffin.

I can't help but thing this is my fault. If i didn't cheat then he wouldn't be in the hospital hurt and lonely in his thoughts a dangerous place to be as he always said and I never understood. All I can remeber is him smiling at the camera and then jumping that part plays in my head over and over his smile looked broken hurt.

As I was sitting on his bed holding his favorite sweat shirt he always wears I found paper in the pocket no make that two papers I unfold the first one and at the top is a to do list and on the back is why I need to list before reading I texted the group.

Non-stop: guys.....i need you over here now like In the next 5mins if so.

Laffytaffy:What's wrong mon ami is everything ok!?

Neednointroduction:we are all coming see you in a little..

In about a few mins there was a knock at the door I got up to open it when it brusted open the gang was there but the room was not lit with the beautiful smile of Laurens and everyone noticed and their small smile came to a frown that's when I brusted into tears and herc caught me it the worst days of my life I pushed the letters in herc.

We are going throw the unimaginable.... Peggy says crying to along with angleicaa but what i say put us in all in tears.

If i could trade my life for his and you would all smile and that would be enough.....

I still see his shadows in my room

No Laurens is not dead but the squad thinks it right now everyone besides Alex