I knocked on Amma's door, my hands shaking and my heart pounding. There was no light in the room, and no one was answering, but I knew she was inside. The previous fear of seeing her disappeared once the fear of the demon kicked in.

It was either talk to Amma or go back to the party, and I was not going back to the party.

"It's Jade." I said when no sound came from inside. "Can we talk?"

"Sure." Her voice was muffled. "Come in."

Part of me wanted her not to answer, I realised as I pushed the door open, and then immediately after hated myself for the thought. The only light in the room came from Amma's laptop. She was on the bed, covered with blankets.

I swallowed, "Hey."

She looked up from the laptop, but didn't smile, "Hey, yourself."

Her red hair was in a loose ponytail, greasy and dishevelled. Her face was pale and tired. Eyes monochromatic under the laptop light. She looked like she had difficulties keeping her head up. In a way, she looked just like Leon a few hours ago.

Asking if she was okay felt insufficient.

"Studying?" I asked instead.

"Yeah." Amma tapped the sheets next to Intro to Demonology, which had a bag of chips on it.

I could only see her left side. She kept her right under the covers, and my heart ached with sympathy and guilt. When I came closer, I realised she was actually watching Netflix. But Amma seemed unfazed as she reached for the bed lamp and turned it on. With the lights on, I noticed her azure eyes were dim, colourless, and surrounded by redness.

"Can I sit?" I asked when I realised she truly wouldn't get out of bed.

"Go ahead." The tight smile didn't reach her eyes.

I sat on the bed anyway, my gaze jumping to her right side, still covered with the brown blanket. I had to address it sometimes.

"Does it hurt?"

"Itches." Amma's light arm immediately jumped to the blanket and she pulled it up. "Like hell."

"I'm sorry." I tried to say what came naturally. "I'm sorry about it all."

Amma offered a small shrug, "It's better than being dead."

"True." I murmured, my glance escaping to the room.

The blackboard was turned towards the wall. I noticed the lack of pencils and markers and chalks. There were also no notebooks in sight, except for Demonology. I wondered if... if I could have helped Amma the same way I'd helped Leon. If she might have wanted me to.

"How have you been?" Amma asked, making me look at her.

"Oh, you know, it's fine." I tried to smile.

Then, something about this entire interaction felt wrong. Regret washed over me, and my mind unravelled. What the fuck were we doing?

"No." I shook my head, and Amma's gaze jumped up. "No, everything sucks ass. I'm expelled, Thar is fired, and you lost your arm."

Amma scooted closer to the headboard, as if mentioning it made her run.

"I don't feel like tiptoeing around it." I sighed and clenched the sheet underneath me. "I'm sorry, and if there's anything I can do to help you, please tell me. Don't ignore me. I just want to be there for you, and I'm sorry I haven't come sooner."

Amma's smile was almost genuine, "It's okay, Jade. We've been through a lot. Tell me why you came."

I bit my lower lip, feeling guilty again. Right, now she thought I only came because I needed something. Fuck, I should have come sooner.

I glanced at the girl sitting in front of me, half-covered with the blanket, her eyes vacant and tired.

"I don't have my magic."

Amma's face moved; each and every muscle twitched, and she blinked once. Twice.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't have it." I took in a deep breath. "Ever since I brought Leon back from the dead, which I assume Morta told you about."

Something sparked inside Amma's eyes, something like curiosity, "Yes, she did. You lost your magic?"

"I don't know." My shoulders pulled up, as if cringing at the word. "But I can't do anything. It's just... not here. I can't reach it."

"Have you looked into it?" Amma asked, leaning forward, but stopping herself the moment the blanket slid down her arm.

She pulled it back up.

"Yes." I pretended not to notice. "No mention. Anywhere. And I dug through my father's library."

"Did you... use a lot of it when you brought Leon back?"

I shrugged, "I mean, yes. I've never even used magic to that extent. I didn't even know I could use it to such extent."

"Hmm."

I could practically see wheels turning in Amma's head.

"There's... other stuff, too." I spoke, and her gaze jumped to me. "Ever since that night... it feels like something is following me."

Amma's room suddenly became too quiet, and I could hear the very heart of the building creaking, breathing under the wind's whoosh, moving under the earth's thuds.

She closed her laptop, "Following you how?"

"Haunting my dreams." I shrugged. "And I'm aware how stupid that sounds, but I grew paranoid. I even had Thar check the shields around my house."

Amma's throat bobbed, "Is your house safe?"

"Yes, but..." I opened my mouth, words getting stuck on my tongue. "I- I think whatever's following me might not care about the shields."

"Okay..." Amma's eyes searched my face.

"I thought I was going crazy, too. Until someone left a note for me tonight."

Amma waited, her lips pressed tight, while I took out my phone and found the picture. I showed her the picture.

"What happened to lover boy?" Amma read.

Her eyes then grew wide, and when she leaned forward and the blanket dropped off her arm, revealing the bandages around the missing limb, she didn't pull back. She just stared at the picture, mouth slack.

"Amma." I swallowed. "I think a demon is trying to communicate with me."

Amma closed her mouth and glanced away, searching the bed. I could see her wanting to reach for her bed with her right hand, but she remembered and pulled the blanket back up. She took the phone with the left hand and opened it. I knew exactly what she was looking for.

"It's like-" I continued, wanting to keep her mind on the task, "It's like it's teasing me."

Amma found the photo of my father's notebook, flipped to that particular page, where the spell that brought Leon back hid itself.

"It's the same." She looked up at me. "The letter A is the same."

I nodded.

"It's..." Amma wide eyes widened even more, "Jade."

"What? Why is it doing that?"

"I think the demon is teaching you its language."

My jaw dropped, "Like... intentionally?"

"Yes." Amma's gaze suddenly jumped off my face and around the room. "You said you don't have magic, which I assume means you can't feel it?"

"That's what I'm afraid of." I nodded. "I feel like it's constantly lurking around."

Amma glanced at me, "Have you told Thar?"

"Not yet." I squeezed my fingers. "Nobody's really been talking to me for the past three months."

Amma's gaze softened, but she said nothing about it. Instead, her eyes returned to the phone and her eyebrows furrowed.

"We need to write it down." She said, and warmth filled my chest.

This was what we needed. What she needed. To work on something again.

"Okay, but what do we do about it?" I asked, some of the old flame returning to my veins.

Amma shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "We figure out the alphabet."

My breath got caught in my throat, "What? I thought- I thought we'd try to get rid of the demon."

"Jade, do you think we can do that on our own? Without alerting your father?" Amma's eyes glinted. "What happened the last time we asked anyone for help? A hundred students died, that's how seriously they took the demon threat. In my opinion, that demon helped us more than our teachers. After all, it's the spell you used to bring Leon back, right?"

My heart skipped a beat, "As a demon, Amma. He's a demon."

The glint in Amma's eyes died, "Oh."

"Exactly." I nodded. "And we don't know how he's doing, or what's wrong, or if he has any murderous tendencies."

What happened to lover boy? The words flashed before my eyes.

Amma sucked in her lower lip, leaned back and pulled the blanket over her shoulder. The screen of her phone went black.

"Can you come with me to check my house?" I asked. "Just to see if you can feel the demon."

"Sure." Amma nodded, but her gaze flew to Demonology, "I should really get back to studying."

The dismissal hurt me, but I understood her. I wished I could get away from me, too.

"Okay." I stood up. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sure." Amma offered a tight smile.

I left her room, wondering if I should have indulged her instead of outright telling her that we shouldn't communicate with a demon. I understood scientific curiosity, but dealing with that magic brought enough trouble to me already.

Morta was still at the party, and I dragged myself to my room, trying to cherish being away from my home for a second, but I felt everywhere the same. Vaguely disturbed and slightly hopeless.

I turned on the lamp on the bedtable and sat on the bed.

It was more comfortable in my memory.

What if the demon truly was trying to teach me its language?

Why?

The reason was nefarious, that much I knew. After all, I was pretty certain the demon orchestrated the attack on Leon because it knew I had the spell and would be willing to use it. There was no other explanation for what happened that day.

Leon and I should have been able to pass through that hallway with ease. It was lined with protection spells. The ooze shouldn't have attacked us; there were places in the building where more magic had been used at the time. But it hit us. All at once.

And I fell right into the demon's trap.

I wasn't going to do it again.

"I don't even know why I did it." I whispered to no one; at least I hoped there was no one in the room, even though I knew better. "I don't even know why I used that spell."

Of course, there was no answer. Neither from the beings from the netherworld nor from the depths of my heart.

I laid my head on the pillow, briefly considering that I might be suffering from depression since I've been asleep all day, and drifted off again.

A quiet buzzing sound woke me up when the night had already given way to misty, foggy dawn. I opened my eyes. Someone was calling me. I grabbed the phone.

Leon.