"Jeongguk? Hey, hey, are you okay?" Taehyung fumbled to get to his side, and he helped him move closer to the bed so he could rest his back against it.

"I'm great. So fucking great."

A sorrowful smile surfaced on his quivery lips as tears overloaded his eyes, but he furiously blinked the wetness from his vision, refusing to be a crybaby, as Jeongguk had called him in the past. "Where do you keep your bandages?"

"Third drawer."

Taehyung swiftly grabbed two packs of bandages from his drawer, some tissues, and a bottle of water he found on his desk and returned to his side. They settled in soothing silence as he spilled a dram of water on a tissue and dabbed it at his knuckles, gently brushing off the blood.

The younger wanted to protest, tell him to stop, to leave, but his throat was sealed as his heavy-lidded eyes alternated between poring over Taehyung's delicate ministrations and contemplating his gorgeous features that were tinged with concentration and a spark of sadness.

Every feather-like touch stole the air from his lungs for a brief moment and had his heart prancing in its place as if begging him to maintain contact and stay close to the boy who exuded something placating, warm, and safe? He couldn't remember when was the last time he felt such safety in someone's touch.

Before he knew it, Taehyung finished wrapping up his knuckles, and he had his fingers fondly laced around his forearm as Jeongguk's arm laid on top of his.

Jeongguk's tired eyes traveled to his face, and only then he realized that Taehyung was already gazing at him softly as his back rested against the bed like his. He could see the pile of questions swirl in his chocolate orbs, but he didn't seem like he was about to voice them. In fact, no words seemed to dangle on the tip of his tongue like usual, urging him to spill them.

"I'm okay." Jeongguk's voice came out raspier than he thought, and he cleared his throat, wincing at how sore it felt.

Taehyung gave him two vague nods to show him he heard him, but still, no sound slipped through his mouth; he carried on peering at him in the softest way possible, mind free of any thought unlike before.

"Kim. You're still holding my hand."

The older hummed at the mild-spoken statement, but he remained unmoving.

"Are you planning to let go?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Why?"

"I believe a simple touch like this can keep someone away from any internal chaos. A touch can keep you in reality. I want you to be in reality and away from the chaos inside you."

Jeongguk's eyes formed to rounder ones as he stared in doe-eyed amazement, delving into the words he had never heard before. "You don't have to do that for me."

"You're right, but here I am."

"Yeah, you are." Another galaxy of safety flowed through his insides, warming his blood, as his body took over the lead and coerced him to squeeze his forearm where his fingers laid still for so long. "You are here."

"I am here," he whispered as he returned the squeeze, a faint smile blooming on his traits that made them seem even more beautiful to Jeongguk's eyes.

"Yoongi said... you asked about Johan."

"You don't have to say anything. I was dying to know, but now nothing is more important than—" Taehyung bit his lower lip to choke back the words he almost blurted out as his gaze dropped to the floor, uneasy.

The younger slanted forward, searching for his eyes, but Taehyung refused to look at him. "Than what?"

"Nothing. I'm so tired I don't know what I'm saying."

"I believe you're tired, but I don't believe you don't know what you're saying."

Taehyung cast him a halting peek and ducked his head more as he shifted his hand, wanting to retract it. He only managed to move it a few inches before a firm grasp immobilized it, and the next thing he knew, Jeongguk's face was right in front of his as he crouched to forcibly meet his gaze.

"Than what?"

"Who's persistent now?" Taehyung murmured while he lifted his head and twisted it away from him, feeling sudden discomfort brim his belly.

A mild snort escaped Jeongguk as he reclined in his seat, observing his awkward demeanor with a slight smile. "You're still the persistent one, Kim."

While he would usually counter these remarks with something witty or teasing, Taehyung kept his mouth shut and his gaze away from him.

"I won't flip if you talk back or look at me with your usual contemptuous face. Don't treat me differently because of what you saw."

The older recognized the bitterness in his voice and let a deep sigh fall from his lips, his chest feeling heavy with gloom. "I just... You've been through a lot today and I don't want to piss you off. Not now."

"If you don't want to piss me off, finish what you wanted to say before."

A sweet giggle erupted from his mouth as he finally laid his eyes on him, amusement cloaking his face at his words. "You're so sly, Jeon."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, voice thick with something impish that pulled another melodic chuckle from the other.

A timid smile was left on Taehyung’s face after his short fit of laughter, but it became barely visible as he tucked his lower lip between his teeth, nibbling it by the wave of anxiety that rippled through him at the thought of vocalizing what he suppressed before.

"Than you." Taehyung closed his eyes, too afraid to see his reaction. "Nothing is more important right now than you being okay."

Jeongguk was struck with a new storm of safety blended with warmth that drove him into a state of absolute serenity. His hand twitched with the unexpected desire to brush a strand of his violet hair away from his angelic face, and he reached out, only to halt midway. His fingers folded into a tight fist, and he pulled his hand back just in time to not get caught.

"Johan..." he blurted out in need to talk about something irrelevant so he could forget his absurd urge. He perceived the boy opening his eyes then and his brows drawing together in obvious confusion. "I can say he was the only guy I ever liked. At the end of the second year, a rumor was spread that I protected Johan for a few months and he gave me sex. And the one who started the rumor was him."

"What? Why?"

"I wanted to break off whatever we had. We weren't dating, but we had said that we won't sleep with others. And I found out he was sleeping around. I told him I wanted to end it, but he didn't like that. It was as if he became a completely different person. He yelled at me, cursed at me, shoved me around. And I let him. Because I liked him. No matter how much I tried to deny it, I liked him. And since I couldn't tell anyone about it, I kept my mouth shut and let them believe whatever they wanted."

Taehyung let a few moments of silence pass as he tried to absorb the sobering news, feeling an immense amount of sympathy nestle against his heart. "And everyone now believes that you..."

"Yeah. They believe I protect students and they give me sex. But after what happened with Johan, I didn't happen to help anyone or protect them. Until today."

Taehyung shortly lowered his eyes as the events that took place today flashed up into his mind, but he forced them out with a shake of his head. "Why did you say all this to me?"

A soft snicker emitted from Jeongguk's mouth as he lifted an idle shoulder. "Are you complaining? Because I'm sure you wanted to know."

"I... Yeah, but you never tell me anything I want to know. This is the first time you opened up to me. Why?"

"I don't know. I just felt like talking."

Taehyung broke into a smile and squeezed his forearm as he gazed deep into his slightly reddened eyes. "Thank you, Jeongguk."

"Why?"

"Because you finally let me in."

"I only rambled about my first and last lame crush. It's not a big deal, and we're still not friends, Kim."

"It is to me, and why the hell can't we be friends?" He didn't realize a sulky expression distorted his previously smiley face as he spoke with clear discontent in his voice.

"I don't know. We just... can't." He dragged his gaze down, not intending to leave it there for long, but he ended up staring at their still united hands at a loss about what to feel.

"Remember that night on the balcony? You told me to stop wasting my time, and I asked you what did you mean, but you wouldn't tell me. Then I said I'll figure it out on my own, and you asked me—"

"'Why do you even bother to figure it out?' And you said you didn't have an answer."

Taehyung's eyes swelled in astonishment, throughout taken aback because how the hell did he remember that? Jeongguk didn't want anything to do with him then, and he didn't miss a chance to tell him to leave. But still, he remembered what they said word by word. His mouth opened and closed without making any sound, finding it hard to fathom what had just happened.

"Why are you so shocked?" Jeongguk scoffed at his frozen with surprise face and fidgeted a tad in his seat to look at ease as unforeseen restlessness settled in his gut.

"It's just... You remember."

"If you remember, why can't I remember too?"

The words he spat had a decent amount of logic in them, although it was still stunning to him given that Jeongguk truly hated him then. "Never mind. Yes, I said I didn't have an answer, but I did. I just didn't want to admit it. Didn't want to believe that was the reason."

The younger raised his brows as he tilted his head to the side, intrigued to hear what he had to say. "What was the reason?"

"You already know it. I've told you."

"We didn't talk about it again. When did you tell me?"

"It doesn't matter. The reason was and is something you just don't want to believe, to accept. That I care about you. Why can't you just get your head around it?"

Something flared up inside him at his choice of words, and his lips grew thin when he recognized it as fury. He darted his riled gaze at him, his breath notching up its pace, and he whipped his hand away, blind to Taehyung's startled look.

"The last person who said that to me, Kim, spread a rumor in the whole uni that I protect students in exchange for sex. The last person who said that to me lied his ass off and fuck I don't even know how many guys behind my back. Only two people treated me right in my whole life. Yoongi and Hoseok. So I'm sorry if I find it hard to believe that you care."

The resentment with a tinge of poignancy he sensed in Jeongguk's voice twisted his heart achingly and drew his features downwards, painting them with depressing empathy. Words seemed to be caught in his throat as his doe eyes rested on his hand, which was previously held by Jeongguk, missing the comfort his touch contained.

"I'm sorry. I... I didn't think about it that way. It's okay if you can't believe me, and I don't blame you. I know how hard it is to trust someone. I just... I guess it bothered me because I don't see it that way. I don't get caught up in the past. Every person we meet is new and we can't know from the start how they'll treat us, if they're honest, if they want to hurt us in any way. But we shouldn't take out on them our anger, wounds, and pain someone in the past created. I know it's hard and it takes a while to comprehend it, but we should at least try because every person we meet is different. I'm different."

Taehyung slid his hand closer and ventured to place it on his forearm. He scoped through tentative eyes as Jeongguk didn't react in any way to his touch and simply continued peering at him with a look he couldn't grasp. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to betray you. And it's okay if you can't believe me. But at least give me a fair shot."

The caramel-haired boy gently removed his hand from his grip and positioned it in his lap as his eyes traced his movements. "I don't think I can."

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Jeongguk. Tell me why."

"It's late."

"Jeongguk—"

"I'm sorry for calling you a slut," rolled off his tongue in a hurried mumble, his heart speeding up its rhythm involuntarily. "Damn, it feels good." This thought popped up into his head, but he ended up voicing it out with a deep, throaty sigh without realizing it.

All out puzzled, Taehyung gaped at him with his eyebrows strongly drawn together. "It feels good to apologize to me?"

"Uh, did I say that out loud?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. That's awkward. Um, yes then, it does."

While Taehyung should be smiling by now, a veil of depression and weariness enshrouded him, making his heart feel heavy in his chest. "Thanks for apologizing. I still want to know why—"

"You should go to sleep."

"I won't leave if you don't answer me."

Jeongguk lifted his heavy eyelids and focused his gaze on him, searching for a glint of something in his that would tell him he wasn't serious about his declaration. But the more he allowed the silence to reign over them, the more Taehyung's stubbornness seemed to grow in his pretty eyes.

"I'll sleep now," Jeongguk stated as he heaved himself to his feet and crawled under the covers.

"I'm not leaving if you don't answer me." Taehyung tenaciously folded his arms over his chest as he plastered a rigid, slightly pouty expression on his face and gazed straight ahead.

Taehyung heard shuffling sounds for a few seconds and then the lights went off, leaving him in darkness, but his eyesight gradually adjusted to the dim glow of the street's lights illuminating the room through the window. Silence fell over them after that point for a long time, both sunk in their pitfall of thoughts.

What was Jeongguk supposed to say to him? He didn't want to get close to him because he was scared? How could he show such weakness to him? No, he couldn't do that — there was no way he would do that.

A delicate thud resounded through the dusky room a while later, and Jeongguk peeled his eyes open to inspect. He scrutinized the boy's head that was now laid on the edge of his bed as if he had passed out. The corner of his mouth quirked at the scene, and he rolled out of bed with the softest sigh.

He crouched in front of him, soaking in his halcyon face and the mild, even breaths seeping through his lips as he bit back a smile. Dork. With this thought, he carefully pulled the boy into his hug, and carried him to his room bridal style.

Halfway through, a dulcet hum rang in his ears and needy hands encircled his back, instantly making his body stiffen and his eyes bulge. He halted in his tracks and tried to see if the boy had woken up, but his face was buried in his chest, preventing him from taking a look.

Since he remained unmoving after that, he resumed his way and pushed his door open when he arrived. He bent over the bed to release him as gently as possible, but Taehyung's grip around him didn't budge.

This is so awkward. He heaved a sigh as he thought about what to do. His eyes fell on his extra pillow a few seconds later, and he reached out to grab it. He squeezed it between their bodies and uncurled the older's arms with slow and a tad forceful moves, hearing a faint groan a moment later.

He watched as Taehyung clutched the pillow he placed in his hug right away and rolled onto his side, and couldn't help the lopsided smile that tugged at his lips. How tired was he that he didn't even wake up?

He allowed his eyes to linger on his serene face for a little while longer before he pattered towards the door. "Thank you, Taehyung," he whispered as he turned off the lights and retreated to his room, but his mind stayed there with the boy, thinking endlessly about his adorable, sleeping face.

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There it is! I hope you enjoyed it💜

So, um, I won't update tomorrow because I have to think and organize a few things about this book. I'm sorry ☹
Thank you for all the support💜