A carefree smile embellished Jeongguk’s features as he trod towards the kitchen to grab his favorite drink, planning to loll about in the living room and relish the few hours he had the house all to himself to the max.

As the other boys went to Seokjin’s house to hang out, he chose to stay home and spend his time watching trash shows to free his mind of every thought.

But, to be honest, one thing occupied his mind the most over the last two days. The events that took place when Taehyung witnessed his frenzy after his torturing nightmare.

How he was able to calm him down, how he didn’t let go of his hand, how he helped him stay sane. And the answer to why he couldn’t give him a fair shot to be friends.

Taehyung, being the stubborn guy he was, pestered him the last two days to give him an answer for at least ten minutes each day. He also nagged him to explain how he ended up in his bed because all Jeongguk said to him was that he had no idea how that happened.

There was no way he would admit that he carried him to his room. That would only make Taehyung think he was soft, and he wasn’t soft for anyone except for his two best friends.

“Fuck, just stop thinking about him,” he muttered as he lightly slapped his face and bloated his cheeks with a long exhale meant to reason himself. Because it was obviously insane to think about that annoying guy almost nonstop.

He flicked through the channels until he found a random drama and forced his mind to empty as he sipped his banana milk.

“Jeongguk?”

“Fuck!” the said boy cried out as he jumped in his seat by the unexpected call of his name, his drink almost slipping out of his hold. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Um, I live here?”

He tsked at his matter-of-fact tone and scornfully raised brows as he focused his gaze on the TV again. “I mean why didn’t you go to Seokjin’s place with the others?”

“Didn’t feel like it.”

The sudden change of his tone to a quieter one baffled the younger and stirred him to glimpse at him, only to see a pouty face this time. “Are you sick or something?”

“Why, do I look sick?”

“Well, you never miss a chance to see your friends.”

“Oh. Yeah, but I wanted to focus on my novel since it’s Saturday,” Taehyung trailed off as he tinkered with the hem of his sweater, his eyes riveted on his flaccid actions.

Jeongguk's vision narrowed on him suspiciously, but it didn’t take him long to figure out he was lying. “If you say so.”

“Why didn’t you go?”

“Because I wanted some peace and quiet, but I won’t be getting any, am I?”

“Tsk, meanie,” he mumbled with a huffy moue as he threw him what was supposed to be a disdainful glare, but it seemed more of a gloomy one to Jeongguk.

The violet-haired boy slouched towards the kitchen and snatched a can of banana milk from the fridge. He peeked at Jeongguk while he timidly chewed on his bottom lip, holding his breath for a few seconds as he lapsed into his thoughts, but he brought himself back with a heavy sigh.

“You’re being very awkward, Kim. Just say it,” he uttered when he spotted the boy’s reflection on the TV and twisted around to inspect him.

“Um.” Taehyung neared him with faltering steps, keeping his doe eyes on the floor. “There’s a scene I have to write.”

Jeongguk huffed a laugh at his murmuring remark as he rolled his eyes, already knowing where this was heading. “Did you finish the kiss scene?”

“No, I’m gonna put it aside for a few days.” He resumed approaching him as he shot him a string of wary glances, wanting to sit next to him, and he reined back a smile once he successfully took his seat without Jeongguk telling him to leave as usual. “After what happened, I don’t feel so comfortable to kiss a complete stranger. I have to do my research first.”

“The option of not doing it again isn’t on the table, huh?”

“And what am I supposed to do with my novel? I’m a writer who needs to see and feel before he writes. I get inspired that way and write better.”

“Just use your imagination.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Why?”

“Okay, listen.” He shifted to a cross-legged position then as he faced him. “When you, for example, hug someone, there are some standard things you can feel and think at that moment. A few common things you can feel are warmth, safety, joy, comfort, peace, affection. But depending on who you’re hugging, you feel different things. For example, I can assume what I’ll feel if I hug you, but maybe I’ll feel something I haven’t thought about. Or maybe your hug will help me come up with different ways to describe those common feelings. You see where I’m getting at?”

The younger mulled over his words and nodded with a soft hum. “Yeah, you have a point. But you’re a writer for years now. Haven’t you found every possible way to describe things?”

“You can never find all possible ways, Kook. There are probably hundreds of ways to describe a simple hug, an action, a position, a kiss scene. The choices of words are countless. And new experiences and new people can help you see things from a different perspective. They can inspire you to come up with something you haven’t thought about before. That’s why I want to see and feel things before I write a scene.”

“Fine, I get it. And don’t call me that.”

Taehyung’s expression stretched into a mask of irritation mixed with shock as a surprised puff burst out of his mouth. “Seriously? After everything that happened two days ago?”

“Yes, seriously,” Jeongguk snapped back with a caustic face.

“You’re unbelievable, but whatever, sure, I won’t call you that. Will you still help me, though?”

“Do I really have to?”

“Please, please, please?” he asked in a complaining tone as he presented his most endearing puppy eyes.

The younger’s lips quirked at the sight, and he turned his head away in his attempt to secret his smile. “You become so whiny when you want something.”

“And apparently you like it,” he teased as he leaned over to take a look at his face, glimpsing at his tiny smile just before Jeongguk effaced it and plastered a sneering expression on his face instead.

“As if,” he scoffed while he visibly tensed up since he was caught, and he knew it. “Just tell me what you want.”

“So, you meet the one you like, okay? And he seems sad, like something is bothering him, and at some point, he starts crying. What do you do to comfort him?”

“You’re killing me here, Kim. I have no idea how to comfort someone.”

“There’s no way you don’t know. Haven’t you comforted someone before?”

Jeongguk’s body stiffened with the memories that slammed into his head, filling it with agonizing pieces of a past he could never leave behind. “No, I haven’t,” he breathed out as he squeezed his eyes closed for a stretch, striving to shut out the harrowing images from his messed-up head.

Taehyung felt sudden spikes of heartache puncture his chest upon seeing his distressed condition that rendered him at a loss about what to do. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Let’s just move on.”

“Okay,” he said with clear discontent, but he didn’t want to pressure him. “How about Yoongi and Hoseok? You’ve never comforted them?”

“They don’t come to me when they have a problem because I have enough already on my own. That’s what they had said when I asked one time.”

“So they don’t share their concerns and problems with you?”

“They do. We talk about everything. But they usually comfort me, I guess. I’m the ruined kid of the group, apparently.”

The sound of his bitterly spoken words trickled through Taehyung's system and flooded him with gloom as he considered his unreadable expression. “But you don’t want to be,” he stated with the most delicate voice possible, hoping he wouldn’t snap at him.

“Of course I don’t,” Jeongguk muttered with a faint sigh as he glanced his way without making eye contact. “I just can’t control myself sometimes. And I hate it.”

“It’s okay. Mr. Kung said that you—“ His words were drowned into a soundless gasp when he comprehended what slipped through his lips, and he kept his owlish, frantic eyes away from him as apprehension pumped through his body.

“He said what?” Jeongguk’s expression darkened dangerously as he shot his hole-drilling gaze at him.

“Nothing!”

“You talked to him about me?”

“No! I mean... a little?”

“What the fuck did you say?”

“Please don’t get mad,” he said, his voice shaky, agonized, as he peeked at him warily. “It was the day I found you beating Juseong. I was... depressed that day. I didn’t know what to do. All he said about you was that you made a lot of progress in the last two years. And that if you don’t want to open up to me, it’s your choice, and I can’t force you. And he’s right! He said we don’t have to know someone’s problems to help them. It’s ideal, but it’s not necessary. And he’s right about that too. Please don’t be mad?”

Jeongguk let his eyes wander on his agitated face while he spoke, and he lowered them once he finished as he drew in a chest-swelling breath and released the air with a sigh. “I’m not mad. I was just surprised that you talked to him about me.”

“Okay.” He felt his uneven heartbeat stabilize at his remark. “So we’re good, right?”

“Yeah, we’re good.”

“Great!” Taehyung beamed as he clapped his hands in tiny, causing the other to snort at his behavior. “So you want me to teach you how to comfort someone?”

“What the hell? No,” Jeongguk retorted as he looked at him in annoyed surprise.

“Why? You have to know these things!”

“I know the basics. You let the other ramble for as long as they want and you caress their shoulder or hug them. Right?”

“Well, yeah. But you have to tell them something too! You know, to show them you understand them or to cheer them up.”

“I’ll deal with it when I have to.”

“No, practice with me.”

“What? How?”

“I’ll talk to you about my problems and you need to comfort me.”

“I don’t want to!” Jeongguk grumbled, his brows strongly puckered in protest.

“Oh, come on! It’ll be fun. And also, it’ll help me with my novel. Please?”

He glanced at him upon hearing his whiny tone, but he regretted it right away since Taehyung’s round, pleading eyes melted his determination effortlessly. “I want something in return, though.”

“What?”

“You’ll let me teach you how to cook a proper meal.”

“No, no, no, I hate cooking!” Taehyung stomped his feet on repeat as his face contracted in a grimace of stark aversion.

Jeongguk's lips curled inwards in his attempt to muffle a blaze of laughter that bubbled in his chest, but a few chuckles flew off his mouth despite his efforts. “Then we have no deal.”

“Ugh, this is called blackmail! You know that, right?”

“Exaggerating much?”

“No, it’s the truth,” he spat his words through gritted teeth and released a groan. “But anyway. Fine. So my parents are very controlling about my studies. They call Mr. Kung like every other day to ask how I’m doing. It’s so frustrating, and it suffocates me. The truth is, they called me before and scolded me because Mr. Kung told them I skipped a few classes and I rarely participate in class. That’s the real reason I didn’t go to Seokjin’s place. I was sad. And I’m still sad, so make me feel better.”

“How am I supposed to make you feel better?”

“Tell me your thoughts. What would you do?”

“I can’t relate at all, Kim. I’m really not the one you should discuss family problems with.”

Taehyung nibbled his upper lip as he chided himself mentally since he didn’t think about it that way. “Right. I’m sorry. Just tell me something, anything.”

“Don’t skip classes?”

“Jeongguk! That sucked.”

“I don’t know what to say! Focus on what makes you happy? I mean, your parents are who they are and they won’t change. The only thing you can do is become independent.”

“That’s... true. But it’s not comforting.”

“I don’t know what else to say.” Jeongguk pulled his shoulders up in an indifferent shrug and sipped his drink as he returned his gaze to the TV.

“How would you comfort the one you like if they had this problem?”

“I don’t know because I don’t do crushes, remember?”

“Fine, at least give me a hug or something.”

His request brought confusion swirling in Jeongguk's eyes as he dragged them to Taehyung, giving him a narrow-eyed stare. “If you wanted a hug, why didn’t you go to your friends?”

“Because I didn’t want to ruin the mood with my problems,” Taehyung mumbled, a deep pout settling on his lips as he slunk a little lower in his seat. “I’m always the cheerful one because that’s who I am, and that’s who I want to be. I want to make those around me happy. If I went there, I wouldn’t make anyone happy with my sulky mood.”

A heavy, rather disturbing feeling coiled in his gut at his words and his saddened tone, and it petered into a sudden need to bring his smile back a few moments later. “Kim, you can’t always be the cheerful one. You’re human. No one can be happy all the time. And you can’t please everyone and keep them happy. You should think about yourself sometimes too.

“I mean, your friends want you to be okay, and if you went there today, they wouldn’t care about the damn mood. They would do anything they could to make you smile because they love you. And they love you for you, for who you are. Not because of your cheerful side. But because of your everything.”

Taehyung’s jaw was hanging open by the time he finished in extreme shock as he gazed at him goggle-eyed. “What the...” Nothing more could leave his mouth as an immense feeling of comfort reached his heart, overwhelming him with warmth.

“What?” Jeongguk tentatively looked back at his staggered expression, afraid he said something wrong.

“That was so beautiful, Jeongguk. Thank you.” His arms moved on their own will and girdled the boy’s torso tightly as he nestled his chin against his shoulder.

Every inch of Jeongguk’s body went rigid with astonishment when the realization of what was happening thundered down on him, his eyes staring in wide circles into space as all the air was pushed out of him, leaving him a breathless, mute mess.

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Cliffhanger? Nah, I would never do that to you. I'll update the next chapter soon💜