A numbness slowly slowly gulping my side . Being on same position on my elbow , I could no longer feel  it as I was so engrossed in caressing the soundly sleeping boy's silk like black flairs.

Making less noise I get down from the bed and walked to the varanda where night was already  spreading its twilight in which the man on the foldable arm chair , appeared so godly.

"What's on my face?"

Keep maintaining the eye contact with naughty amused smug he mocked me. After all it was his  chance as I was drooling,  drooling?  What should it be called to drool over your own husband ?

But things were not normal or I just thought.

Giving an eyeroll,  I gripped on the railing as I said,

"Bugs."

"Really ?" Brushing his palms over his face he confirmed , trying an  act of innocence .

Without buying it I nudged on the iron  plate more.

"Why are you making this all upto us , leaving all your business behind?"

His expression which was joyous a moment ago now seems a bit intense.

...like a guilt or pain!

I still remember this look in his face , when I was leaving that day.....

Leaving the seater in its to and fro motion he stood up as the back of  mine felt occupied .

Not so ready to face him , as I tried to leave the place but he trapped me placing his both palms tight on the well ornamented balcony,  railing.

I nervously looked up to meet his iris , which were of the deepest shade of darkness with the stars of moonlight .

"Can't you understand a simple thing......"

Without failing , holding my tension back, I  snapped.

"What's else there left to understand that of so simple about yo___"

He was longing to do this , my words made him more on impulse that he unleashed the thing ; technically he had the right so he  Did it.

Claimed her!

Jk's Pov

I am not in a plan to regret my fearless attempt to kiss her without even her consent.  My breath was almost not there as I could feel her glares on my hovered over face , in the middle of the kiss .

Giving myself a tight pull , I got apart  .

"...that I want you. " I finished  my incomplete sentence which was got disrupted while coming through.

Her eyes were saying many , like , it was all got choked that I could get none of them .

Shock - Blush . Dissapointment-Shame.

"I hope you not to try this stunts again."

"What do you think ? " as she was shifting , turning to her I showed curiosity." I am on my highs to do this?"

Seeing her eyes scheming to the glass which contained less than half of its capacity , the black-ish liquid , I presumed.

Deliberately a proud smirk rose up , which meant she really believes that I did it on my undecided state.

She wasn't angry that I kissed her or she was being considerate of my drunken state.

With a done face she said

"Now move ,"

"Y/N "

Y/N's POV

I excused myself almost but the way he called was a clear pleading

"Y/N!"

I did not dare to move my feet  .

"Can't I... I  know whatever just happened was all shitty. Man's emotions can't be played like that."

Was he talking about the mere incident that occurred back  then 4 years ago? What's the use though ? Emotion is not a thing to play with but the game has already done. What the use of bringing those up now?"

My straight thinking all went in vain when his bare chest came in my eyes , guarding my moves further and vision of whatever that he was hiding behind.

I hit the reality again when his deep voice coaxed and his hot breaths started furnishing my face that send several waves down my spine spreading errotiòn all over my body.

" ....and I didn't have the guts to hold you back , then....or I was just fool to think  my real feelings to be feigened by kindness----

" It was . It was just kindness of  one human to another. " I was loosing my voice. Having no proper talks with him for this long , was making me find misery in gathering words.

"I was sick . And you never supposed to get trapped in my maze like life."

I knew he would place one after another statement that could broke me but I did give him no chance to speak this time.

" I____"

" now when my life has already learned  how to be cured being most dreadfully , wounded. Here you again trying to mess me."

I was feeling my brain and heart were clenching . The nerves in eyes were being filled up , like pool.

"Why you returned? " Sniffing unknowing I was letting go such verbal emotions that I wanted to keep buried in me. But I can't stand it. Anymore. He should know how much of a damage he increased in my already fucked up life.

"Cause.... cause I said I wanted you."

"Oh really? You wanted me . Then about this Four freaking years. Where was your want ?"

I snickered at his naive words.

"You must have controlled , suppressed it right? The great Jeon Jungkook. Who is an example to all the youngsters of great dedication , passion and self suppression. "

"Why after this fuckung years you thought of returning , could not keep up your show off anymore?"

I maybe being a devil but the bruises, the sufferings were making me this cruelly eloquent to him . His kindness, his goodness all appeared like pity and sympathy for me.

"For what you came ? To see whether I was begging in the streets or not? Or just wanted to see me dead already?"

"Y/N!!!!!"

"DON'T YOU DARE SHOUT! It's not your freaking house where only living things were dead . There is a child who is sleeping. He has not to be harassed by our adults misery. "

With the coldest voice I said .

His grip on my forearm got extremely tightened.

"Isn't he ours Y/N? Why he should be trapped in our misfits? He seems happy with you but  cheerful with me . Then why you seek reasons for me to return ?"

"Listen , Mr. Jeon.  For you my sufferings never lightened  and today you are also doing no help as always."

I averted my gaze from him . He was living in the world of fool. I did not want him to know the integral truth of my current life, but seems he would get to  know  soon.

"You can blame  me. You have the right   but tell by yourself, didn't I said to stay back, didn't I?"

"You think that was  all for my self respect? I was freaking got payed for staying and playing the act of your perfect wife,  how could I just break the contract . "

"No emotions were involved there. And ..... you said, right! But you took a  Whole year , 365 days and 15 hours 25 minute and 30 seconds to realise that you Wanted me." 

The pool of water kept coming down like a stream  . My vision was all blurry, and warmess pooled out..

"You realised it . Yes you dis realise it after fucking making me lie under you ."

My this last words hit him perfectly and hurt was clear in his odds. But the regret was also there maybe for being called a .........  fucker!

He scowled this time.

"Still you left . Still ....... "

"Yes , I did cause.  You could come to see me off but could not snatch aways the ticket and postpone my plane by tearing that."

With swollen eyes I looked up at him , no matter how much bad I talked off but the softness in his eyes never left.

I continued.

" you made me suffer,  all the time. You made me feel like I was a third wheel , between you and Taehyung . Then again you tried to use me to get rid of your frustration."

When I made clear to you that I have known the truth of him being so nice ,  he never came back to me.

Now he was saying he wanted me. What sort of want it was that changed with times and periods .

Are celebrities like this?  Being his wife was  the second worst thing that could happen in my life.

"You.. I-   there was really nothing among us. It was just loneliness that made him go nuts  . And yes,  it's true I really did even good things with you out of humanity but those all were real . "

He was cupping my face. While thumbing my tears.

"I really was really searching  for you. I may have had many experiences and practice before my performances but about life I a am big Zero, Y/N."

"I had no idea about it . If you didn't leave I should've made myself clear long ago?"

"So you are still blaming me? Blaming me for prioritizing my own self , my self respect as a woman as a human being?"

He connected our foreheads and silently let a tear drop  escape.

"No ..... nou .... I  , I am  just bad at explaining.  Expressing my thoughts..."

I was driven away by him. His vurnability breaks me the most.  I can't see him that down.

I placed my palms on his and connected our eyes.

"...then , tell me. Explain it . I want you to  say , say on your behalf.  I am so  tired , Jungkook, please."

"I am sorry Y/N. That I could not reach for you earlier. I was scared and ashamed that I could not treat you better. "

We both were crying and sniffing at times.

" I tried to find you , even. In the year I almost closed down everything.  Taehyung's wedding was fixed. Those night when I was staying out , I was with him . To make things clear and he also  started dating  a girl back then . "

You looked up at him , happiness was dancing in your heart.

" I was working alone and yearning for you to just once coming back to me. You don't know how much I suffered living without you ."

" I never had a peace of mind since the day you left me. I regretted letting you go and I know you will ...... you will hate me."

Noh, I could think of leaving you, spatting you even taking my own life to give you peace not for a single moment I thought of hating you . I can't hate you .

" I can't  hate." It came out so quietly.

" Will you love me then"

He saw the blankness in my eyes with the mention of me loving him . Did I ever loved him?

"I won't mind if you don't but I truly missed you. I longed for you . My bed has lost your scent , our room , our house everything has lost you and I just can't afford forgetting you ."

"I'd rather die tha____"

I could hold myself back  from putting my shaking, cold hand on his lips .

A drop of  salty water touched my skin. He removed it taking it in his , he played with my digits and placed my knuckles near his  lips .

And the smooch that he left so softly put my cheek followed by my entire body on furnesh.

" I love you , Y/N"

"I love you so bad .

" i love you"

It got so long,  sorryyyyyy●●●●●