THE CAVE | Joel

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"Locked in a stalemate
with a man who no bars hold
Rock and a hard place he's battering control
What am I waiting for?"
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-Richy mitch and the coal miners

We hadn't been travelling long when we stopped for food. Joel had been right about the 'safety' of this route as we had not met much danger and we pulled into a clearing off the side of the road for a quick break. I had offered to drive which was only met with a loathing stare. The clearing was pretty but it was difficult to pay attention due to the intensity of Joel's glances. He did not enjoy my company, I understood that, but I think I would have preferred anyone over the empty expanse of our world.

When I looked around at the gorgeous forest intertwined with many types of fungi, I truly saw beauty in all of it. I doubted Joel saw beauty in anything. He was a simple being and we were a simple deal. Stay together for protection, not out of kindness. That had dissolved in the reality of his personality-Joel was not a very kind person.

"Take this," he told me, firmly placing a handheld gun into my palm and turning back to sit in the back of the trailer. He was organising the back of the vehicle and had seemingly, come across the gun. I turned it over in my hands admiring the glossy texture and professional furnishing. Id never held a gun before and it felt wrong

"I won't use this"

Joel looked away from me quickly with an annoyed look "you can't be a nancy where we're travelling. If you get trapped, that's your problem."

It felt cold and uncaring but made me feel mostly confused. It wasn't that long since we'd been named 'allies' and it was already a half-truth. Sure, we were travelling together, but it was nothing more. I nodded.  'You're not my problem, I'm not yours, got it"

What part of allies did he not understand?

We were in the countryside of New Hampshire but I couldn't place exactly where. We left the other town no less than four hours ago and since then, the scenery had not changed much. Mostly nature through until we met the odd house or old dinner. Joel had said it got much worse the further south you went.

'so where do you think we'll try and get food?" I asked walking around to the back of the clearing. Joel was packing a travel bag.

"I'm trying to get food," he said, emphasising the solitary aspect of that statement.

"Oh, I'm sure we'll get loads of trade with only one merchant" I snapped with an air of friendly banter. It was a weird way to put it, I'd admit that.

His face hardened and he gave me a stern look. He continued rooting in his bag and I noticed he was being meticulous with his packing. He perked up 'we don't need to speak like were friends"

I was taken aback for a second. I knew I wasn't much help but I at least thought it was better than travelling alone.

Joel did not feel the same way.

"I can drop you off once I reach Boston, ill continue from there. I dont need any help"

"god you're a pain in the ass, make up your mind"

He got up abruptly, gun in hand and for a split second I thought he was going to hurt me. He sighed, "I'm going for food, stay here and don't leave"

I snorted at his command. "does it look like ill be doing much hiking in my state?" 

I had been walking with a limp each time we'd left the truck Each time, Joel did not spare me any sympathy.

"if I don't come back in a day, take the truck and leave"

"if you don't come back?"

"Look, I know you don't know how all of this works but if you don't catch on quickly you're dead meet. The outside is dangerous and it's swarming with threats at every angle. if you trust people too easily, you're gonna get hurt"

I nodded again. I had no way of knowing then that he was warning me about him.

He left me with the gun, some matches, a rucksack and a pocket knife. A perfect apocalypse go-bag. I watched as he began hiking up the small enclosure. I was left to sit in the truck and admire the scenery. I assumed he would be back soon. I was optimistic.

Joel was too much of a pessimist, in my opinion, but I hadn't had contact with anyone and I didn't have anyone to compare him to. I considered the idea that maybe everyone was as hotheaded and brooding as Joel was. Maybe I was the weird one.

It wasn't because of my upbringing though. No, My mom had been an angel. She cared so deeply for Ben and me, I knew what true comfort was like. It was such a different feeling with Joel, not even close to safety let alone comfort.

I then thought back to my last few moments of clarity before everything seemed to go sideways. When Mom and Ben were still sitting across from me with concentrated faces and contemplative hands fastened together. We had been playing chess.

Our small cabin was far from the lake but not so much so that it couldn't be accessed on foot. I liked to, when mom and Ben were both asleep, go down to the lake and dip my toes in. For the last seven years, I'd taken to doing it at least once a week but, on that particular Sunday, I'd been caught and put on house arrest. I had not left the threshold of our cabin in nine days.

"Don't give me that look Bonnie" My mom said seriously as she moved a chess piece. I didn't know how to play it properly, I always let Ben worry about that stuff.

I scoffed, looking up from the book I was reading. "I am not 'giving you a look' I just-"

"No, there is no excuse, I do not want you wandering about alone under any circumstances, do you hear Me? That will never happen it is far too dangerous out there."

"No, no I get it mom" she just cared for me. Everything was for me and Ben, I understood.

I missed the smell of that cabin. The creak of the floorboards under my bare feet and the rustic colour of the old spruce wood. Before everything happened it had been our summer home and then our refuge during a confusing time and then our forever home.

Or so we'd thought.

Then the first group of people arrived and we were prepared. Axes, knives and an array of weapons. Mom mostly did all the work but we escaped and that was when Ben was hurt. Fucking hunters. Fucking people. Fucking disease. Fucking world.

—-

I had been sitting in the passenger side of the trunk staring at the canopy of leaves for about twenty minutes. My tendency to daydream when I had nothing better to do had gotten the best of me once more and now I felt very hallow. My arms were draped over my stomach and my legs were resting on the dashboard in a very casual way. I looked at the bag to my left and grabbed it to look through again.

Why had Joel packed me a bag instead of just giving me the objects? Thinking about it, he'd packed everything neatly, and cleared out the back of the truck. I decided to inspect it. The trailer of the vehicle was empty apart from old wire and scrap metals. He's taken everything else.

Fuck, he'd taken everything.

'That little asshole!" I shouted, hammering my first down on the trunk and wincing in agony. He wasn't coming back, he'd left me for good or worse, dead.

He'd left me with the truck though, the one thing I could use to fuck with him. I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. My headache was growing worse, the light of the trees only igniting the little fire behind my eyelids. I could try and catch up with him, then I could show him a piece of my mind.

I trudged my way back into the car with repeated mutters of 'little fucker', 'shitface' and 'asshole'. Any insult I could think of really.

It hadn't been long since he'd left and I assumed I could catch up, especially with the truck. Considering that I had an empty stomach, I felt pretty energized and hopped into the driver's side. My ribs ached once more and I gripped my side with claw-like hands. This was going to be a lot worse than I thought.

I tried to stretch out my leg to reach the pedals and another pain shot through my thoracic cage. I felt like I couldn't breathe now. Hyperventilating, I put two hands on the wheel and focused on the clearing in front of me. I couldn't believe he'd left me. I guess he had been right. Trusting strangers wasn't the best idea ever. Maybe I would be better off on my own. Joel seemed to like that idea anyway.

Gasping with pain all around, I backed up the car. The engine was noisy and created clouds of smoke all down the old road. I wondered where Joel had gotten the gas and how much was left of it. The toggle that showed my fuel levels was Brocken. I could only hope it would bring me close enough to Joel so I could...

Well, I didn't know what I was going to do.

What was the point in any of this? Holding onto this man who clearly did not want to be in the same vicinity as I let alone travel together. I knew I was scared of being alone but maybe Joel wasn't the best company. I had a feeling it wouldn't have taken much for him to sell me up to the highest bidder as soon as we got to Boston. I'd heard some stories and it wasn't a nice place. 

Yes, I was being ludicrous. I couldn't find Joel and if I did, what then? I just needed to find somebody I could trust.

I decided instead to get the food that Joel had promised. I needed to do this myself. I drove aimlessly, the car swerving like a calf walking for the first time. This was partly due to my injury and party to my rocky memory of driver's etiquette. I wished I could just stare off at the trees and pretend as if this was a normal road trip.

The air of New Hampshire rolled through the half-down windows, helicopter leaves fell softly on the road in twisting pathways. I watched the unusual colours floating through the air with precision and noted that my pain eased once I let some of my stress go. Feeling a little better, a little enlightened, I sat up straighter and sped up the car. I would get food before nightfall, I had to.

The trees around me grew shorter and light flooded the car. I was coming near a small town. I neared a bright red bridge tunnel with the name 'Jackson N.H' printed in faded white above the entrance. I had been right, we were close to Mt. Washington and I was heading in the right direction even without road signs to guide me.

The little town was beautiful and full of quirky buildings and scenery even in its old state of repair. I wondered what it would have looked like ten years ago or even twenty. Now it was haunted by time.

The closer I got to Main Street, the more disordered it became. Forgotten cars lined the streets so it was almost impossible to drive through. I tried for as long as possible until the road was taken over by a growth of vegetation. No, not vegetation. It was fungi.

I couldn't leave Joel's truck or more appropriately, my truck. If there were dangers around me, I ought to protect myself as much as possible. I attempted, momentarily, to drive my truck over the vines, only to find the wheels sticking to the disgusting organisms. I had no choice.

I grabbed the gun that Joel had given me and made sure there was ammo inside. I didn't know how to shoot a gun in all honesty but the weight of it in my hand grounded me almost immediately. I hopped out and felt the 'squelch' of the fungi under my boots. It made me cringe and I hopped from one foot to the other with difficulty trying to remove it from the soles. This was stupid, I was so stupid. I should have left and driven back to Maine when I'd had the chance.

I walked further for ten minutes and the growth of the infection only grew thicker. It infested every nook and cranny of the town. The old Jackson library did not resemble a barn any longer but rather an unusual red greenhouse with large saucer-shaped creatures flattening the roof.

I checked a couple of the cars on the way too but stopped pretty quickly when I realized the engines had been overgrown also. What a shit hole. The sky was beginning to darken and I cursed under my breath. I'd have to find safety soon and I couldn't do that here. I rounded a corner of a side street and I heard rustling. My heart sped up and my mind jumped to fifty conclusions at once. I wasn't ready for this, I wasn't ready for this, I wasn't ready.

I backed up as a figure stood straight from its crouched position behind the car. "Bonnie?"

My face hardened and I raised my gun. Joel "what the fuck is wrong with you"

"Look, no hard feelings, it's just life" he muttered.

I was angry and hurt. I hadn't expected to run into him at all, I wished I hadn't because now my gun was swinging wildly in my hand. Had he expected that line to work with me?

"Nah fuck you, dude." I eyed his bag which seemed full to the brim with food and other scraps he'd not had before. I was so fucking done with this.  I jerked my gun, hoping I was quick enough if he tried anything "Give me the food, all of it, slowly pass it with your foot. hands up"

He swung the bag from his shoulder quickly and dropped it to the ground with a 'thud'. He approached me apprehensively, hands above his head, kicking the bag with his shoe.

He kicked the bag with one last forceful swing of his leg and I bent and grabbed it without taking my eyes off the man. His eyebrows were low and he looked concentrated. He kept approaching me, one foot at a time.

"Stay where you are!" I shouted, voice cracking from lack of water. "stay back you dumbfuck or ill shoot you!"

My voice echoed over the desolate town we'd found ourselves In. As he approached, I knew I didn't have the guts to hurt him and he must have known it too. I didn't feel guilty, pointing the gun at him. He'd have done it to me in a heartbeat

Suddenly his hand grasped the gun from the bottom and he twisted it until my arm felt about ready to snap. I relinquished my grip on the weapon and felt the man's left arm tighten around my body. His elbow was pressed tightly into my rib cage and I felt like it was about to explode. He knew exactly where to hurt me. I felt his breath on my collarbone, croaky like mine. We were so dehydrated.

"Safeties off" he whispered threateningly in my ear followed by a sudden click of the gun. He fired one quick warning shot into the air above my head, demonstrating his advantage over me. I winced at the noise and began to shake. This was it, I was done for.

Cries sounded from nearby and we suddenly heard loud footsteps. Joel's grip on my neck loosened and I dropped to the ground gasping for air. I saw him looking forward and firing two gunshots at the approaching infected. If I hadn't been done before, I was now.

"bonnie get down" he growled through gritted teeth.

"Fuck Joel, what were you thinking?!"

"shut up and move!"

I felt the grip of his hands on my shoulders as if a forceful angel had ascended and begun guiding us through the streets of Jackson. The infected seemed to be slower than the ones I'd met earlier.

"Joel... I'm so sorry"

"Now isn't the time for fucking apologies woman!" he shouted again. He liked to make me feel like the scum of the earth. I felt my body heat as the lactic acid built up in my muscles. I was so not in a state for running right now.

One of the figures made a lunge for Joel's running legs and I dragged him to the right quickly on top of a group of parked cars. We ran hearing the creaking of metal under our weight and the snarls of the savages behind us.

We ran in the same direction I had originally walked in, nearing the same bridge I had driven through only twenty minutes ago. I must have been driving extremely slowly as it had not taken long to reach.

Joel fired two more shots over his shoulder, managing to take out one of the two beings chasing us. How were there only two infected in the whole of Jackson?

Joel had fired three more shots, taking out the last of our predators and stopped, panting and staring out over the shadow of Jacksonville. Over the far side of town, the part that neither Joel nor I had ventured, was raised above our eye level on a hill and in plain view of the bridge. There weren't just two, there were about one hundred,  all strewn further up stirring wildly. Joel's gunshot told them about our little trip to their town. There was no way I was getting the truck back and no way we were going to be travelling through Jackson.

We'd have to take the long way to Boston.

—

Very long chapter for me here, I hope you guys enjoyed it. As you can tell it's gonna be a slow burner with these two :0. Enjoy your day!

- M (sorry for any mistakes, currently studying for my mock exams)