I woke up early this morning again. At five. Not that I had something to do or I couldn't sleep. I had a dream of Aly. Not only was it a dream; it was a play staged by my reminiscence.

It was me with her, back in the college. I could see her in her old red and pink volume dress which I had gifted her on her birthday. She also wore a woollen hat. It was the last night before the day of graduation and we had been arranged a farewell party. As I entered through the hall door, I saw her with Bethany, her best friend, with a glass of red wine in her hand and she was giggling with her other hand over her mouth.

For a moment it felt to me that time stopped around and we were caught at the moment – her eyes falling on mine – she smiling at me. I had the rose in the back pocket of my trousers and I had been checking on it now and then fearing it might fall off. I extended my hand at her as she joined me, holding her long skirt.

"Let's go to the terrace. I have a surprise for you", I muttered to her.

She smiled, looked around, giggled and asked me, "What is it, George? Why not here? I am enjoying the party. And I know you will too". She rested her hand on my chest. I was wearing my black tuxedo which I only wore on special occasions and I could feel the touch of her soft hands against it. I held her hand, held it tight and asked her again to accompany me. This time she agreed and asked me if it shouldn't take more than fifteen minutes. We had been in a relationship for a year then and we had never kissed each other. She ought to have thought I would take her to the terrace and kiss her. I could see the happiness and excitement in her eyes.

As we got to the roof, I guided her to our rendezvous point. The moon was a smooth crescent and it didn't take long for the moon to captivate her. She looked up and admired it and when she turned around, there I was – on my knees, with the rose in my hand.

"Alyssa Rose Thompson... Will you marry me?"

I was scared and nervous alike. I loved her a lot and I knew she loved me. But marriage is a word in itself – a promise, a bond. I was sure of loving her to death and never looking the other way around. Although I believed it was also the case with her and she was not like those girls who believe having a boy in your life is just for fun or looking cool, there was always the fear she would leave me after this. I had been trying to propose her for two months then. Not trying, but planning. I hung my head and closed my eyes.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?!", she shouted aloud. I knew it was to come. I was prepared for that. But it wasn't the shout of anger. It was the sound of joy and surprise. From the absolute darkness under my legs, my gaze lifted to her moonlit face. She was smiling. No, she was laughing.

I got up, put the rose in her hands, and held her face in my palms. Now I could see she was crying. The warm tears of her eyes were flowing down her cheeks onto my palms. She kissed my hand. I was crying too. "Have you lost your mind?", she asked me again. Now she was weeping.

'What makes you ask so, babe?"

"I—I just... I don't know, George. I thought... I thought..."

"You thought what, babe?"

"I thought you would never marry me. I thought we will get split just like John and Bethany did. I thought we would never be together... I—".

"You say no further, Aly. You know I'm not John. I'm George. Your... Your Georgie!"

"Are you sure?"

"Look, I am not here to hang around all right. The terrace wasn't open and I had to bribe my way—". Before I could say anything, she laughed and kissed me on my mouth. And that was perhaps the longest kiss I ever had. Not perhaps by time but by love.

All of it was lovely to witness in a dream. The only thing being – it was not only a dream but also a memory. A memory of mine and Aly's sweet past. Oh, so happy she was! At once my mind went on a sweet ride to our past. She was smiling even in her wedding dress, even when we made love for the first time, even when we faced our most jarring difficulties, even when Nancy was born.

But the smile was gone now. Faded by time and who? YES! Yes, that's me. I am to blame for what happened. In the pursuit of success, not only did I lose my family, I lost myself. I lost the George I used to be. And it was my family who were paying the price first and now it has come to me.

I couldn't sleep any further. I just lay there on the bed, looking at the window and occasionally closing my eyes. I knew I was crying and I didn't dare get up. I curled up while regret started sinking my heart into the trench of depression. I love Aly. Of course, I love Nancy too! I love them more than my business. I just want them back. I just want Aly to give me a second chance!

(sighs)

It was eleven in the morning and I was still lying on my bed when there was the anticipated knock on the door. Firstly, I had forgotten about the party. Secondly, my mind and legs had even given up on the thought. I wanted a drink. I needed it badly. I wanted to waft; waft away into the darkness of the curtained room.

I didn't respond the first time. Nor the second or third. Brian called out to me from the other side of the door. I got up from the bed, took the pillow and wiped my face on it, buttoned my shirt and walked down to the door. I still had my overnight pyjamas on. When I opened the door, it was both Brian and Caleb standing out there.

"Where are ya, boy? We've been—". I looked up at them for a while when Caleb stopped and then I turned away. They were in fine attire for the party. Brian was wearing a green T-shirt with a pair of trousers and white sneakers whereas Caleb likes white suits only, I think. He was wearing a turquoise shirt underneath though.

"What is it that you want?", I asked them. They let themselves in.

"Are you alright, George?", asked Brian. "You seem—".

"Broken?... Beaten up?... Ragged?". I sat myself down back on the bed while they pulled two chairs and made themselves sit around me. Caleb was slower.

"Lord, your eyes!", Brian remarked. I glared at him. "They look red... Hey, hey George, what happened? You were fine the other night. What happened?"

"Tell us boy. We are your best bet here". My gaze shifted to Caleb. He looked more concerned than Brian.  Boasting of your experience? – I thought. But then I started slowly. "Nobody can help me. I have done sins and I have to pay for them". I got up and started at the dining table while they were staring at me.

I continued, "We are no different, Caleb. The sacrifices we make – it isn't for any good if you lose everything, if you lose the ones you think you had been working for. The money, the riches – all but a shame". I started pouring myself a glass of water. "The extravagance, a sin. A sin when it doesn't mean anything". Brian got up and faced me. "George...". I gestured him to wait as I drank a glassful of water.

"Oh sorry, I didn't offer you guys anything. Some coffee?", I asked them.

"You just tell us what is it all about?", Brian looked more serious now.

"Uh, it's all beyond your league, guys. I don't want any of you to fret over me. The deed's done and the Judgement Day's gone. You guys can have your party. I am not coming."

It's when Brian grabbed me by my arm while I was passing back to bed. He looked concerned and frustrated at the same time. I couldn't help but laugh. I shoved my arm free and walked back to the bed, still laughing.

"What is there to laugh?". This time it was Caleb. "Yes, nothing's funny, George. Just throw up what you have", Brian commanded.

"And what the hell are you supposed to do?", I screamed, banging my hand over the bed. "Huh?... You are no way, in any jurisdiction, complied to help a fellow passenger you didn't know a week ago. And even if you knew me... what I am and what I have been, you could never help me, Brian. Nor can you, Caleb. I am better alone and better be punished for what I have befallen upon myself"

Brian looked stunned. So was Caleb, who was still sitting in front of me. They had seen the brighter, fake smiling side of mine and they were summoned by the dark in me – the side they had been entirely oblivious to. I slipped back over the bed slowly and rested myself against the wall. "See... I am really grateful you guys came but I don't want anyone or anything right now".

Brian asked me slowly, "So it isn't just the business, hmm?". I didn't look up this time. "I am not a fellow passenger to you, George. You keep that in mind. Time doesn't tell you who is your friend. The bond does. And if you understood it, you would let go of that jurisdiction of yours. I have no right interfering in your life, George. But I can't see you like that, my friend. You are my friend, George. And it's my duty to help you".

"Brian is right". Caleb joined in. "I am no stranger to you, boy. You are my youngest son's age. The days doesn't matter. We are the ones you can trust. I have been through tough times already. And if it has given me some wisdom, I'd love to pass them on to you. You are a good lad, George, believe me. Time wrecks you down, alright. But it's your job to stand up and face it".

"There's nothing left to face". I started slowly. "My life has been subjected to a turmoil and I don't know how to deal with it. I should have realized it earlier but now there's no point looking back."

"Be clear, George", said Caleb.

"My wife... Aly, she is filing for a divorce against me". My eyes were still down. I heard a gasp and a sigh. "She won't listen. And yes, she's right. I preached selfishness under the name of sacrifice. She is right, I deserve it. I couldn't keep up my promises. But... but...". I looked up at them now. "I can't live without her. I loved her. I have loved her. I still love her the way I had on the night... The night we began... We have a daughter! How is she going to cope with it in future? How am I gonna live without her?"

There was silence for a good ten minutes. Meanwhile, there was only an assistant of Caleb that knocked the door and came in. Caleb got up and discussed something with him after which the man left and Caleb just stood there by the bedroom door, his arms crossed. Brian had sat himself down and was pondering about something. My eyes were shifting between looking down in embarrassment or looking at them.

It was Caleb who began. "Cathabella and I... We wanted a divorce six months before she died". We looked up at him in astonishment simultaneously".

"You've had a life, old man', Brian said slowly.

"The same cause it was. Business. We are businessmen, George. One of the most prime working classes. While we work for the cause of our kins, there are folks who wait for us back in the very mansions we build for them... in the very property we raise for them. I tell you, none of that matters to them when they truly love you. All what matters is you. They want you, your hand in theirs. They want the mansion of your heart. They want you; they need you.

"Cathabella wanted me to leave my business and start something new, something that I could do being close to her and we wouldn't starve either. The quality and quantity of food never mattered to her. She wanted me with her when we would have our breakfast or dinner together. 'You get me lonely', she would say. But I was blind, you see. I sent my children to hostels so that they won't be a burden on me. So that I don't have to look after them time and again and with a deception to myself that that will help them grow better... without their dad". There were beads of tears in his wrinkled eyes. "I made myself distant more and more with time. I wasn't even with her when she fell down the flight. You see... Karma.

"I say it again, George. You are a good lad. You still have a life ahead of you. You still have your wife and daughter with you. You can start a new life at Singapore, with a new vitality, a strong ardour. I understand work is important. It gives you your bread, after all. But you question yourself – Is it precious than my family?"

"But she is leaving me".

"She hasn't yet". Brian it was. "Try to convince her".

"She won't agree, I know her".

"Don't lay down your arsenal already, George. Don't freeze your arms. She hasn't left you. You go on with that. Try to convince her back and—".

"Are you ready to do anything for your family?", Caleb asked me, still crossed-armed. I nodded. "I can do anything to get my Aly and Nancy back", I said.

"Brian here tells me that you are starting from a new beginning, as I already just said... Why don't you give up some shares to your partner and reduce some workload over you? That won't do you much harm? Yes, that might cost some reputation but you are here to win back your family, right? Try to bring things back to normal. Give your family more time. Take your wife to movies, trips. Be a father to your daughter. Show them you actually love them. I am sure everything will be back all right".

I got myself into a contemplation. He isn't wrong anyway. I am tired already of this business, to be honest. Not 'leaving time' kind of tired but 'it's time for family' kind of tired. I have already done sacrifices of time for my family worthlessly but now I must sacrifice some time off my enterprise for my Aly and my Nancy. They want me. That's what all it is about. I won't leave any job but reduce my workload and start a new life literally. I can do that. I can definitely do that. Alex will understand. The company will be on my name, anyway. Or even if he takes it, I will still have my family by my side. 

"You are right, Caleb". I said slowly and nodded. "There's nothing wrong in what you said. I believe I can do that for my family".

"Are you sure?", Brian asked me.

"Yes. Yes, I am".

"Then you better be up and get ready for the bash". He was smiling. I was puzzled. "The party I mean, of course. You better get ready or we have to carry you up... We will be needing some men, right?". Caleb laughed aloud and said, "Yes". Now I was smiling too. "Yes, I am coming. No need to break the back of your men, Caleb", I said.

All of us laughed and then I got up and accompanied them to the door. Closing the door behind me, I realized my first pangs of hunger. I was feeling much better now. The faucet of my mind had been clogged by the dirt of refusal and confusion. Now it was clear of any doubt. I was feeling more alive now. Although my fate still hangs on Aly. I hope she forgives me and gives me another chance. For the time being, I should try enjoying what I still have and live in the present. Everything is going to be alright – is what I am telling myself.