Glimpse of the lights
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Truth is, Thadius never know that I had been raped, all he knows was the anxiety I got after the breakup.

Reaching out a help from THAD is riskier than it is to intentionally murder someone. Hindi dahil marumi itong magtrabaho kundi dahil malinis—napakalinis sa puntong natatakot ka na pati sekreto mo ang malaman nila. It wasn't for that reason why I withheld it from THAD. It was all down to Thadius Silverio, their CEO.

As far as being harsh at work is concerned, Thadius and William are on the same wavelength. They save lives by killing monsters, at iyon ang kinatatakutan ko noong panahong iyon.

I didn't even let Grandpa and the others know about the case I filed, noon lang noong tapos na. Noong talo na ako. I didn't have the guts to tell them before. Dahil marumi at nakakahiya. I know that they will listen because they're my family, but staining our infamous surname because of me, iyon ang hindi ko kaya. Kaya hindi ko pinaalam sa kanila ito, tanging kami lang ni Dona ang humarap. Because if they had known, we would've surely win but winning means letting the outside world know the case, and I didn't want that.

Although I was assaulted, I had no desire to get vengeance on the person who had done me wrong. Kaya naman ay pinatikom ko ang bibig ng mga pinsan ko nan sabihin ko iyon upang hindi ito umabot kay Thadius.

Things, however, just take on a life of their own. And as I've grown older, my sense of responsibility has dwindled.

At ngayong nangyare na ulit ang nangyare sa akin, ay hindi ko na kaya pang palampasin ito. While I appreciate the assistance of my grandpa, I know it won't be sufficient to apprehend those crooks on my own. Wala akong pakealam kung pati reputasyon ko ay masira, ang gusto ko lang ay ang kapakanan ng kapatid ko.

Even if it takes going up against a millionaire's sons to get what's right, wala na akong pakealam pa.

I raised an eyebrow at Loki, who had just put a glass of coffee on my desk next to the stack of documents I'd been reading since this morning.

Ilang araw na ang nakalipas simula nang magising si Beviene. After that, additional investigations were launched, and Thadrid Silverio, the agency's chairman, willingly sent a group of THAD police officers. Wala sanang THAD na magaganap kung hindi lang nila nahagilap ang nangyare sa akin.

Knowing Thadius, I knew he wouldn't sit on his hands and do nothing once he found out about it. At ngayong dalawa na mismo sa pamilya niya ang nagawan ng masama ay mas lalo lamang itong nilayaban ng apoy.

Lumala ang sitwasyon dahil pati ang Buena Luna Police Station ay nasali sa imbestigasyon. Naabot na rin ito sa social media at binalita pa. Sari-saring mga komento ang lumabas at doon nalaman kung gaano ka sagwa ang magkapatid na de Franca. Letting the media know also means opening my case. There were lots of comments. They even assumed that it might be the reason why I wished to retire, they also tried to convince me back to spotlight, saying that they miss me and they will never ever want that to happen to me, saying that I deserve better. But those were all, and it ends there. Dahil wala na akong balak bumalik pa.

It turned out that Beviene's closest friend, about whom they spoke, was connected to the man who sexually assaulted me—kapatid niya pa talaga.

Matapos kong makilala kung sino ito ay mas nabuhayan ako ng loob na ipagpatuloy ang kaso, ipagpatuloy ang pagtanggap ng tulong mula sa THAD, at lalo na sa pagpapahanap kay Rustom.

I was supposed to join the investigation but all of my cousins were locking me up. Nakakainis dahil laging sila nalang. They didn't think less of me because I was a woman; rather, they felt that because my issue had been brought to public attention, they should keep me out of the fray.

Nakakagaan sa pakiramdam na dumating na ang araw ng pinakahihintay ko. Rustom, Mulo's elder brother, is still at large, while Romulo de Franca has already been apprehended.

Mayaman ang mga de Franca kaya iyon nangyare noon. Hindi ko pinaalam sa lahat ang nangyare sa'kin lalo na't kilala ang pangalan ko sa bansa at sa industriya. Puno ng takot ang isipan ko noon dahil ayokong makatanggap ng pambabatikos at negatibong mga opinyon. Pero ngayon na napagtanto ko ang karapatan at ang hustisyang hindi ko nahanap noon, sisiguraduhin kong hindi na ang mga ito makakalabas sa kulungan.

And if they can count on their family to support them once again, may God bless them for standing up against THAD.

Kinaumagahan ay sabay kaming lahat na lumipad pauwi ng Everett Valley. Daddy and Bettina, Loki and Pacholo, and Beviene who's sleeping beside me. Sa susunod na linggo magaganap ang trial kahit hindi pa man nila nahanap si Rustom. THAD is certain that they'll locate them before Sunday arrives. Maraming lupain ang mga de Franco kaya kailangan pa nilang puntahan ang iba't-ibang lugar upang mahanap ito. And if Rustom is outside the country, he'll probably deal with the real THAD who's coincidentally, outside the Philippines.

"Uuwi raw si Miggy." ani Loki pagkababa sa tawag.

"Kailan raw?"

"Next year."

"Nagpaalam pa ang instik." irap ni Pacholo at patuloy na kumakain ng chichiryang galing sa crew ng Traverson Private.

"What's his reason, though?" singit ko.

Nilingon ako ni Loki at nagkibit-balikat, "Pinagalitan ni Mama." at natawa.

My forehead creased and my smile formed, "What?" natatawa kong tanong sa kaniya.

Alam ko noon pa man kung gaano ka strikto ang ina nito pero kahit ganoon man ay hindi naaapektuhan ang malamig kong pinsan sa ugali ng ina niya. Just like Thadius, he's ice cold, but Thadius goes to a whole other level of extreme coldness.

"That man is stubborn. Puro nalang trabaho ang iniisip. Wala na raw oras para kay Mama kaya ang nangyare ay si Mama na mismo ang nagsesante nito sa kompanya para lang makauwi dito."

Our laugh cracked inside the plane. Mabilis kong natakpan ang bibig dahil natutulog si Beviene sa tabi ko. But Pacholo is Pacholo, at wala kaming magagawa doon.

"Kaya idol ko si Auntie, eh." komento ni Pacholo.The chip bag was torn up and flung across the cramped space by him. Saktong dumaan ang isang babaeng crew at tumama sa dibdib nito ang binato. Kita sa mukha nito ang pagkainis at pekeng nginitian lang kami bago tumingin kay Pacholo.

"Oy, Sartorio! Magkaklase tayo sa elementary! Naalala mo pa ba ako?" mukhang magkakilala nga sila base sa ekspresyon ng babae.

Nahiya ito at ngumiti nalang, "As a member of the Traverson Private crew, we urged all passengers to properly dispose of their trash or to put it on the desk near their seats. Thank you."

Malakas na sampal 'yon sa mukha ni Pacholo, kaya pati sila daddy ay natawa rin. Napuno siya ng kantsaw at walang nagawa kundi magtakip nalang ng sariling mukha. Pero tumatawa rin naman.

Lumipas ang ilang oras at nasa kamay na ulit ako ni Ysmael. The fact that Daddy was just behind us had nearly slipped my mind, and by the time I had turned around, tanging iling nalang ang nagawa nito at may ngiting ginulo ang buhok ko.

"Just tell me when's the wedding." atsaka siya pumasok sa loob kasama si Bettina, na tulak-tulak si Beviene.

Nakaramdam ako ng hiya doon. I heard Ysmael chuckled so I gave him an eye. He only patted my head and spoke, "Du fehlst mir."

My brows instantly furrowed, "What?" it was weird to hear him speak in a different language.

Mukhang naaliw pa ito nang hindi ko maintindihan ang sinabi. He wrapped his arms around me and looked down a little bit. "Ibig sabihin nun ay namiss kita."

Napakagat-labi ako at ngumiti. It sounds so sweet and innocent in my ears. Tumingkayad ako ng kaunti at pabiglang hinalikan ito sa labi. "Me too." Malinaw sa mga mata niya ang pagkakagulat pero maya-maya lang ay biglang natawa.

I felt ashamed a little bit, was my smack too bad or...? "Ba-ba't ka natatawa?"

Umiling lang siya bago hinapit ang bewang ko, "How's he?" himas niya sa tiyan ko kaya mabilis akong napasimangot.

"She." pagtatama ko pero ngumiti lang siya.

"Kamusta kayo?" pag-uulit niya na ikinapula ng mga pisnge ko.

It's always a pleasure to hear Ysmael add yet another bean in his discourse. He's definitely looking forward to having a family with me.

Hinalikan ko lang siya sa pisnge niya at napahimas na rin sa tiyan ko, "I'm fine...but I'm hungry. Shall we go inside na?"

Natawa lamang siya atsaka ako binakuran ng kaliwang braso niya. Ginaya niya na ako papasok at sabay na kaming lahat na kumain. Despite the dining table being so long, it felt full with them around. Kompleto kami sa hapag kainan. Grandpa seated on the very side, on his left were my dad and his family with William, and meanwhile on his right seated my cousins and I on the farthest.

Kung noon man ay napakatahimik kumain, ngayon ay maingay. Sobrang ingay dahil bukod sa nandito si Pacholo, bumalik na rin ang sigla ni Beviene. Sila lang dalawa ang halos nagsasalita at nakakamangha pa ang ugali ni Pacholo dahil hindi ko man lang narinig nagmura.

We were talking about random things when Grandpa suddenly called Ysmael, who was enjoying his food. Napatingin ako dito at nagtataka kung anong kailangan niya sa kay Ysmael. Pero bigla nalang akong nginisihan.

"Isa ito sa hakbang para maging isang tunay na kapamilya." biglang anunsyo ni Pacholo at lahat napatingin sa kaniya.

Tumayo siya nang walang paalam habang may dala-dalang bote ng wasabi at pirasong calamare. Huminto siya sa likuran namin ni Ysmael at mukhang loko na binuksan ang wasabi paste at inilatag sa buong ring ng calamare.

Nanlaki ang mata ko doon. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng kaba sa iniisip nito.

"Pero bago ka magtagumpay at makapasok, dadaan ka muna nito!" kasabay ng pag-angat niya sa pagkain sa ere ay ang demonyong buhakhak niya. I heard Beviene laughed followed by the others aside from William who didn't bother glancing at us.

Loki cheered for Ysmael bago siya ginaya ng lahat napatingin ako sa kanila na hindi makapaniwala bago kinurot ang giliran ni Pacholo. "Cholo! Are you crazy?! Can you even eat that?!" tukoy ko sa hawak niya.

Nilagay niya lang ang daliri niya sa bibig at papikit akong pinatigil, "Shh...tumahimik ka, kapatid." aniya na ikina-asar ko.

"Pacholongina."

Doon siya mas lalong natawa at nagtatalon pa sa tuwa. I asked Grandpa for help but he didn't even care at tuwang-tuwa lang sa pinanood.

I groaned in frustration at binalingan si Ysmael. "Hey, you do realize that you don't have to listen to what that fool says?" tumingala siya na parang naaaliw rin kay Pacholo atsaka inabot ang kamay ko.

"Sanay ako sa maanghang." marahan niyang pinisil ang palad ko bago kinuha ang pagkain mula kay Pacholo.

Malakas na hiyawan ang namuo sa hapag-kainan at lumakas pa ito ng subuin lahat ni Ysmael ang pagkain. I winced and gaped at the same time. Hindi ko akalain na makakaya ni Ysmael 'yon. When I saw him eating it, it seemed like the most delectable thing ever to me, despite the fact that wasabi is the last thing I would eat.

Loki and Pacholo looked amused as well. Siyempre, kung sila ang nasa pwesto ni Ysmael, they would rather leave the table than accept the challenge. Sino nga ba kasi ang nakakatiis sa wasabi?

Bigla silang nagpalakpakan at hinampas pa ni Pacholo ng malakas ang likod ni Yael bago inakbayan. "Welcome to the family, kapatid!" pakikipagkamayan niya pa na para bang ngayon lang nagkakilala.

They congratulated him, but my concern persisted. I'm not sure whether he's putting up with the heat or if it's just for me. Nag-aalala ako baka ano ang epekto nito sa tiyan niya. He might have a stomach ache later or worse, endless vomiting.

Napatingin ko sa kaniya nang bigla niyang hawakan ang kamay ko. "Ayos ka lang ba?" he might have noticed my expression.

Umiling ako, "I should be the one asking you that."

He smiled and caressed my hand with his thumb, "Do you want to know a secret?"

Napamaang ako na nakatingin sa kaniya. Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako sa sekreto nito dahil dalawa lagi ang posibleng iniisip niya. It's either he's serious or he's just messing around. Kasi ganoon siya sa akin dati. Pero kahit na alam ko 'yon ay nagawa ko paring tanungin kung ano ito.

Slowly, he reached for my ear, and for a split second, everything in my life became a puzzle.

"I can't taste spicy foods."

That night, I decided to sleep in Beviene's room. Nasa ikalawang palapag ito kaya dinala ko na pati unan ko. Wala si Ysmael dahil linggo ngayon kaya wala akong problema na puntahan ang kapatid.

She was a little surprised when I entered her room at dali-daling napaupo sa kama.

"Just lay down," I told her before jumping in her bed.

Natawa ito at napatakip ng kumot. Nilibot ko muna ng tingin ang buong silid niya at napatango.

"Not bad. The color reflects your personality." I complimented the yellow room with flowers painted on the wall beside her beside.

"I was actually the one who requested it. Does it look okay?"

"Mhm!" sambit ko at napatango-tango. "By the way, can I sleep here?" baka kasi gusto nitong mapag-isa ngayon.

But Beviene is the sweetest being ever. Pumayag ito at inabutan pa ako ng snacks mula sa isang maliit na ref sa gilid ng malaking flatscreen sa harap. Nagkunot ang noo ko.

"Hey! How come you have that thing here while I don't in my room?" she wheezed kaya hindi ko nalang pinansin ang mga gamit niya.

Mas gusto ko pa rin naman bumaba tuwing gabi.

Beviene generously handed me a new blanket to use. I creased my forehead and stared at it. "Don't you want me to share blankie with you?"

Napakurap siya at agad na binawi bago tumalikod para ibalik. Nakangiti lang akong pinanood siya. She neatly placed it back inside the cabinet. Kung ano ang pagkakalagay nito noon ay ganoon rin ang pagbalik niya. Hindi ko alam na may pagkamalinis pala ito.

Tumabi na siya sa akin atsaka halos wala na ang mga mata na nakangiti. Doon ko lang nasilayan ang lahi nito.

I tilted my head to grasp more, "Beviene, are you mixed?"

Her brows arched before she nodded, "Mommy has Japanese blood, ate."

You can actually tell by the subtle shade of olive tone in her fair skin. May kalakihan lang talaga ang mga mata nito and her Japanese blood only shows whenever she smiles.

Marami kaming pinag-usapan ni Beviene sa gabing 'yon. We even binged a movie series that surprisingly, we both love. Nang sumapit ang ala una doon na ako nag-alala na baka mapagalitan ako dahil hindi ko pinatulog ito ng maaga.

Ako na ang nag-utos sa kaniya na matulog. Pinatay ko ang tv pati mga ilaw. Beviene didn't want to close the curtains so that she can see both the moon and the sun before she sleeps and after waking up.

Mga ilang minuto bago kami nakatulog. Marami kaming napag-usapan at isa doon ay ang tungkol sa mga naranasan namin.

In spite of all that has occurred, Beviene remains the same. Mabait at masiyahin pa rin ito, unlike me who had changed a lot.

Iba-iba ang tao kaya hindi ko masisisi ang sarili. Her optimism and mental toughness, on the other hand, are what makes her so endearing to me.  I couldn't blame myself for being vulnerable at the time since it aided me in my battle and pursuit of justice for someone who never deserved the suffering she was put through.

Umaga at sabay kami ni Beviene na kumakain. Upon awakening, she became giddy with excitement and even went so far as to prepare breakfast for me.

Ginawan niya ako ng burger but instead of buns, she used sliced bread that she got from the farm near the mansion. Ewan ko kung binayaran niya ba ito o binigay sa kaniya, basta alam kong nakabukas na ito nang iuwi niya.

Marami itong ginawang burger kaya nang pumasok sina Leonora ay nakikain na rin ito.

Beviene, who sits next to me, had the expression of a dog that was contently watching us eat the meal she prepared. Tila ba'y nakalunok ito ng flashlight dahil nagliliwanag ang mukha nito.

Natawa nalang ako ng mahina bago napadungaw sa cellphone ko na umiilaw. Sinagot ko ito at bumati sa akin ang boses ni Ysmael.

"Magandang umaga..." I could only scoff when I heard him.

"G'morning..." bati ko rin habang ngumunguya.

"Kakagising mo lang?"

"Not really. Beviene made us breakfast that's why we kinda have it late." atsaka kumagat na naman.

"Yael?" tanong ni Leonora kaya tinanguan ko.

"Magandang umaga, maayong adlaw, good morning to you all! Your girl is here! Leonora!" masigla niyang bati bago ko inilayo ang mukha.

"I'm his girl. Goodness." I exaggeratedly claimed before we both laughed in unison.

Narinig kong tumawa rin si Ysmael sa kabila at binalik ang bati. While greeting him, Beviene extended an invitation to breakfast, which he declined because of his commitments elsewhere.

Uminom ako ng tubig ng may bigla itong tinanong, "Apple, were you the one who handed donation for Ygara?"

My brows furrowed, "Ha? Wait, I can donate?"

Nawala ang boses sa kabila kaya akala ko ay nawalan ako ng signal. "Teka, hindi ikaw?"

I started to become baffled and when I stand, my stomach went upside down, halos patakbo na akong pumunta sa banyo at nagsusuka.

I can still hear Ysmael in my ears. Sinundan ako nila Beviene. I heard them asked me what happened but my head was spinning around like crazy. I feel like puking but nothing would come out.

I tried tasting my mouth but the ham and cheese weren't even there anymore. Bigla akong kinabahan. I cupped my stomach and one thing crossed my mind.

Doon ko lang napagtanto ang nangyayare.

"Pacholongina."

All I could say before passing out.

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nyariina
7/13/'21
9/27/'21