When the Chaser finally got caught
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"Y'mael?"

I thought Ysa was only joking around but she wasn't! Hindi nga Ysmael ang pangalan ni Ysmael.

He shyly caressed his nape, "Si mama kasi ang daming arte." aniya na nahihiya sa pangalan niya.

Mabilis akong umiling at pinuri ito, "Don't be embarrassed. Maganda naman ang pangalan mo." pero mas lalo lamang itong nahiya kaya natawa ako.

He guided me back to our seats. But his name piqued my interest so I asked him questions again, "Ganoon rin ba ang pangalan ng mga kapatid niyo?"

Umiling ito at nagsalin ng beer sa baso niya, "Hindi na. Napagtanto kasi ni mama na tinatamad kaming magsulat ng buong pangalan sa papel." he chuckled before sipping his beer.

No wonder that he changed it to Ysmael Jaime, kasi kahit ako ay tatamarin rin.

Napasipsip ako ng kaunti sa iniinom ko, "Kung gaano kahaba ang pangalan mo, ganoon rin kaiksi ang sa'kin." ang nagtawanan kaming dalawa.

But he suddenly stopped and his lips played something naughty, "Alam mo ba kung ano pa ang mas mahaba?"

My forehead immediately creased when something that I thought was naughty perplexed my head, "Huh?" tanging nasabi ko bago siya napabuhakhak at nag-iling.

He patted my head and pointed his lips to Ysa who just got out again from their house, "Yung pancit. Tara, kumain na tayo."

Iwinaksi ko nalang 'yon sa isipan at naaasam na tinitigan ang hinain na pancit. I've tried pancit a lot of times before since it was Thadius only favorite filipino food. At hindi ko siya matatanong kung bakit dahil totoong masarap nga ito.

"There will be a little party later at the covered court. Pupunta ang mga bandila para sirain, gusto mong sumama?"

He said it too seriously that I couldn't determine whether it was a joke or not when he said the walking flags will crash the party. Nasilayan nito ang nalilito kong kaya lumabas ang biloy niya, "That was just exaggeration." aniya na nagpaintindi sa'kin.

"I'm not really sure. Baka uuwi na kami mamaya." malungkot kong sambit.

He shook his head to corrected me, "Loki already told me the four of you will stay the night here. Alam niya kasing bukas pa magigising si Cholo at ayaw niyang umuwi nang may lasing na dala, baka raw mapatay sila ng Grandpa niyo."

Napaawang labi ako at biglang nasabik kaso napaisip ako sa tutulugan namin, "W-where will we sleep then?" pag-aalala ko dahil alam kong dito rin magpapalipas ng gabi ang mga bandila.

He only smiled and crossed his legs before sipping, "Sa bahay ko."

Naningkit ang mga mata ko nang makatapak sa covered court nila. Napapalibutan ito ng mga tao sa loob na masayang nagsasayaw. Pumalibot naman ang mga mesa sa magkabilang gilid nito at doon kami naupo sa isa sa mga 'yon.

Madilim na kaya ang ilaw nalang sa mga disco balls ang nagsilbing liwanag sa court. Hindi pa naman raw nagsimula ang selebrasyon pero pinapasok nalang nila ang mga tao upang magsaya.

Ysmael sat beside me and Loki on my left. Pareho silang malapit sa inuupuan ko at ang mga kamay na nakadikit sa likod ng upuan ko.

"Just tell me if you want to get out, okay? I'll get you out as fast as I could." Loki with a worried voice said.

Mainit na nginitian ko ito at tumango. He then kissed my forehead before placing arms back to my chair. Si Ysmael naman ang nilingon ko na umiinom pa rin ng alak hanggang ngayon.

Nagtataka ako kung paanong hindi pa ito nalasing kung kanina pang hapon silang nag-iinuman. Malayo ang tingin niya sa akin pero ang laman naman ng isipan niya ay ako lalo na noong tumuwid ako ng upo upang ayusin ang kunot sa bestida.

His hands were so quick to set down his cup and in a splint of a second, they were already on either side of me, securing me from the danger he thought was present.

Napakurap kaming pareho doon bago dahan-dahan niyang binawi ito sabay suri sa paligid. "I'm sorry. Akala ko may biglang humablot sa'yo." paumanhin niya bago hinapit palapit ang bewang at marahang minamasahe ang daliri rito.

My face heats up by how fast his reflexes are. It wasn't even a big thing but it swayed my heart. Mas na turn on tuloy ako.

Lumipas ang maraming minuto bago binuksan ulit ang mga ilaw at malinaw na nakita ko na ang kabuuan ng court nila. May kaunting disensyo lang ito sa tapat namin na entablado at bandang nakatayo sa kanang tabi nito.

They warmly welcomed everyone and proceeded to open the program. Alas siyete pa naman ng gabi kaya marami-rami ang taong nanonood, may iba pa ngang nagdala ng kani-kanilang upuan dahil okupado na ang mga mesang nakahilera sa loob.

I watched them happily especially when they introduced the contestants for their miss barangay pageant. Natutuwa akong napanood ito lalo na noong rumampa silang lahat sa gitna.

One teenage boy sang at the center while being surrounded by beautiful ladies. Habang kumakanta ito ay pasimpleng iginagaya niya naman ang mga babae pabalik sa entablado.

He bowed after he finished his song. Nagsalita ulit emcee at bago paman niya isa-isa na ipinakilala ang mga contestants ay bigla nitong sinambit ang pangalan namin ni Jarvis. Napasinghap ang mga tao at mabilis kaming hinanap. Bumuo ang hiyawan at tilian nila nang mahagip kami at akmang dudumugin na sana ang mesa namin kung hindi lang napatayo ang mga lalaki kong kasama at ang pagpahinto sa kanila ng emcee.

Mahinang pinisil ni Ysmael ang kamay ko at may pag-aalalang ngumiti, "Ayos ka lang?"

Mabilis akong nagtango at ngumiti sa kaniya, "I'm fine, really. I'm not even anxious with all these people." that was true, though.

Simula nang makarating kami dito ay hinding-hindi ako nakaramdam ng pagkabahala at takot sa mga tao sa paligid. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba iyon sa nandito ang mga pinsan ko at si Ysmael. Pakiramdam ko lang kasi ay ligtas ako sa lugar na ito. And I'm honestly happy about that because perhaps, I'm finally healing.

Naglakad patungo sa mesa namin ang emcee upang patayuin kami para magpunta sa harap. When he was about to reach my hand, Loki stopped him and pulled me up instead.

Loki formally apologized to him but he only shook his head and didn't bother about his sudden action.

Sabay niya kami ni Jarvis na iginaya sa harap. I was so worried about the slipper I was wearing but then I remembered that Ysmael put back my shoes a while ago when we decided on going here.

Medyo nailang pa ako sa lakad ko dahil bigla kong nakalimutan kung paano ako naglalakad sa tuwing nasa red carpet ako. Kalaunan ay natandaan ko naman iyon at nagsimulang naging komportable.

I felt like I gained confidence just with my walk especially when they cheered me up.

Purong ngiti lang kami ni Jarvis nang makapunta sa harapan nila. It felt so new and surreal to me while facing hundreds of people. Tila bumalik ang nakaraan ko noong masaya pa ako sa tuwing nasa entablado. I felt stung in my eyes but I fluttered it away to prevent my tears from showing.

I'm just happy of experiencing something I'm never be doing again.

"It's such a pleasure for all of us here to be visited by such famous and beautiful people! Everyone, please give Crisceana and Jarvis Silverio a round of applause!" he hyped up everyone. Pinasalamatan rin niya si Loki bilang isang Silverio na dumayo.

Napangiti nalang ako doon at pasimpleng niyakap ang likuran ni Jarvis nang maramdamang hindi ito komportable. He looked at me and smiled, assuring me that he was fine when he noticed my worry. Pero kahit siguro si Loki nasa bandang likuran lang namin ay nakikita siyang kabado.

The emcee gave us the microphone to let us speak. Ako ang naunang nagsalita para hayaan si Jarvis na maghanda. I already figured what he meant when he told Loki he's not going back to Buena Luna anymore. And I respect his decision.

I only thanked everyone, especially Ysmael's family for inviting us and took good care of us. Sinambit ko na rin ang tungkol sa tulog pa rin na Pacholo at narinig kong napabuhakhak ng tawa ang mga bandila. After that, I passed Jarvis the mic.

I thought that he'd tremble and stutter but he was too professional to create any mistakes. Natural lang siyang nagsalita na tila ba ay kausap niya ang lahat ng tao sa paligid. There's no doubt why Jarvis is loved by everyone. Natural itong mabait at maalaga, at idagdag pa ang boses nitong mahinahon na tila ba'y kumakanta siya.

And since Jarvis was a known singer, he sang them one of his songs without any background music. Mas namangha ang mga tao nang marinig ang natural nitong boses. At sa halip na maghiyawan ay bigla silang natahimik at ninamnam ang boses ng pinsan ko.

When he finished his song, doon lang ang mga ito nagsigawan. It seemed like they brought back Jarvis's confidence that time. Kasabay ng pagngiti nito ay ang pag-init ng dulo ng mga mata ko.

Naiiyak akong nakikita itong masaya. Sa tingin ko tuloy ay dinatnan ako ng cycle ngayong araw dahil sa biglaang pag-iiba ng mood.

Napabuga ako ng tawa nang niyakap ako bigla ni Jarvis. I caressed his back and tapped him, "You did great! I love you!" I complimented him so he giggled.

Kalaunan ay hinatid na kami pabalik ni Loki sa aming mesa. Nahiya ako nang bigla na lamang nagpalakpakan ang mga bandila pero imbes na magyuko ay natawa pa ako.

Mabilis na inayos ni Ysmael ang upuan ko at tinapik ito upang maupo ako. Giggles escaped from my mouth as I seated. Sumilay ang pagkamangha nito bago nagtanong.

"Lasing ka ba?" at napangiti noong inirapan ko.

"You did so good in front, apple." puri nito habang dahan-dahan na isinakop ang mga kamay namin.

I furrowed my brows at him, trying to prevent my chills from coming out, "What are you doing?" tukoy ko sa kamay namin.

He shrugged, "If it fits, it's mine."

Napasinghap ako doon at mabilis na nilingon si Loki na seryosong nakatingin sa kaharap niya. Naramdaman niya agad ako at inangatan ako ng kilay upang itanong kung anong tinitingin-tingin ko. Inirapan ko lang ito bago ibinalik kay Ysmael ang atensyon.

I really thought that he got that line from Loki but turned out that if Pacholo and Maddox share the same brain, Loki and Ysmael do not differ too. Malandi nga lang si Ysmael.

Nakita kong nakangiti na ito sa akin at pinisil ang kamay kong hawak niya, "Why? Ayaw mo ba?"

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay, "Would you even leave my hands if I say I don't?"

He only replied with a small laugh and a kiss on my hand.

Mabilis akong napakurap sa ginawa niya at hahablutin na sana ito ngunit naunahan niya ako kaya ay nahulog ako sa yakap nito.

The only thing good about it was the dark surroundings, highlighting the contestant at the center.

Huminto ang paghinga ko doon at nanuyo rin ang lalamunan. I felt the heat from mine mixed with his. Being in his arms was a pleasure for me. The refuge that I felt was undeniably good. Gustong-gusto ko ito lalo na't ito lang ang tanging paraan para mapalapit ako sa puso niya.

His heart beats with mine. Malapit lamang ako sa dibdib nito kaya rinig na rinig ko ang malalakas na tunog ng puso nito. Napakapit ako sa braso niya nang bigla niyang ipinasadahan ang kamay sa likod ko.

I was used to my cousins doing that but whenever he does it, arousal breaks in. At natatakot ako baka maramdaman niya ang pang-iinit ko sa dapat yakap niya lang.

Before I could even continue that feeling, I immediately pulled myself out of his embrace. He was smiling but his eyes were a hint of desire and frustration.

Napakurap ako dito at tinapak lamang siya sa pisnge, "You're drunk, Jaime. You should go home and rest."

He only smirked and playfully emptied his beer, "Will you go home with me?"

By that, my heart flipped. Mas lumusong lang ang init sa katawan ko at pilit pa rin itong pinipigilan. "No, because we don't live on the same roof." I obviously said.

"Then, will you live with me?" he asked, still persistent.

Napabuga nalang ako ng hangin at marahan hinawi ang mga kamay nito sa bewang, "You're drunk, Jaime. Baka gusto mong matulog bigla katulad ni Cholo?"

Natawa ito sa banta ko at mas lalo lamang ako nilapit sa kaniya. Since my body was facing him, I almost end up seating on his lap. Mabuti nalang talaga at napigilan ko agad ito dahil baka hindi na ako makapagpigil at maangkin bigla ang mga labi nito.

"Come on, apple. I want to feel you on my lap." he pouted.

Heat and embarrassment immediately rose up to my face. Malakas ko siyang hinampas sa dibdib at matalim na tiningnan dahil sa mahalay nitong sinabi. "Huwag mo akong biruin ng ganiyan, Jaime, ha. Naiinis na ako."

"Okay, sorry. But why Jaime? Why do you keep on calling me Jaime? Gusto mo bang maging Jaime?" sa pangalawang pagkakataon ay nahampas ko na naman siya sa dibdib.

He winced and acted so hurt even though the smack wasn't that hard, "Come on, apple. I was just asking."

"Magseryoso ka kung ayaw mong masaktan kita ulit."

"Will you really hurt me—aray! Oo na, seseryoso na." sabay sandal at nagnguso.

Inirapan ko lang siya, "Why can't I call you Jaime? Isn't that your name?"

Pouting that he answered, "I call you apple but you call me by my name. My fucking surname—not even my real surname."

I grimaced, "Gusto mo tawagin rin kitang apple?" I flatly asked so he grunted.

"Not apple but something sweet too!"

"Ah—candy?"

He was disgusted, "Too feminine."

"Choco?"

"Ano ako aso?" asar niyang tanong kaya napabuhakhak ako.

"How about fruit salad? Matamis rin 'yon, punong-puno pa ng prutas." natatawa kong suhestiyon na ikinalabas ng apoy sa ilong niya.

"Come on, apple. Think of something better! Yung magugustuhan mo rin." tumuwid na ito ng pagkakaupo at malinaw sa mukha na desperadong makarinig ng magandang salita.

Nag-isip ako ng ilang sandali bago sumilay ang paglalaro sa labi ko. Napahagikhik muna ako bago siya tiningnan na may matamis na ngiti sa labi. His lips parted and brows meet, "Alam ko ang mukhang 'yan. Ayoko. Huwag mo nang sasabihin, nagtatampo na ako." aniya at naghalukipkip.

Tuloy-tuloy ang tawa ko bago siya pilit na pinaharap ulit. He didn't resist and sulkily looked at me. "Ano ba 'yon?" may halong inis at lambing ang boses niya.

I smiled and readied my laugh. After, I spoke the only word I was sure he'd throw hands, "Noah."

At tama nga ako sa iniisip ko. Bigla nalang siyang tumayo at tinungga ang alak na nasa kamay ni Jisoo bago malakas na binaba.

Padabog na naupo siya ulit at asar na asar na tiningnan ako. "Really?" he annoyingly asked before he whispered, "That fucking Noah? Really?"

Ngumiti lang ako at inasar siya lalo, "Bakit ka bumubulong? Takot ka bang marinig ka niya."

He snorted and was about to speak loudly but I immediately covered my hand on his mouth while the other hugging his right shoulder. Napatigil agad siya at mahigpit akong hinapit papunta sa hita niya.

I didn't bother scolding him and just invited him for a dance. Mabilis niyang nilingon ang mga tao sa gitna ng madilim na court at bumalik sa tenga ko.

"Can you dance?" bulong niya kaya agad akong natawa at umalis sa pagkakaupo sa paa niya.

"Are you insulting a Silverio?" at sabay hila sa kaniya patayo.

The floor was dim at it was filled with couples slowly dancing there. Nahagip rin namin sila Indiana at Chandran na nagyayakapan doon at ang pares naman na sina Noah at Rich na kakarating lang rin. We all smiled at each other before Ysmael pulled me towards him.

Agad akong napayakap sa braso niya. Mabuti nalang at madilim doon at kahit papaano ay walang makakakilala sa amin.

We danced silently for few minutes before he pulled me out from his embrace, "Still good?" tanong nito kaya tumango ako.

"Why won't I?"

Siya naman ngayon tumango at akala ko ay ibabalik niya ulit ako sa yakap niya ngunit hindi pala. Instead, he placed my arms around his neck at pulled my waist closer to his.

Even with the distance apart, the soft music around, and the silent whispers of the people, it was only the simultaneous beats of our hearts that I heard.

Damang-dama ko ang init sa katawan niya at ganoon rin ang sa'kin. The night was too young to feel this sensation. But the night and the place was perfect for a confession.

I've been thinking a lot about it ever since the confrontation with Agustin. Isa akong taong may manipis na pasensya at pranka. Ayaw ko ng paligoy-ligoy at mas lalong ayaw ko ng sekreto. Although, those are things that are inevitable to not have. Ngunit minsan ay may mga bagay talagang nagtutukso sa ating makamtan ang nais, lalo na kapag puso na ang nagsasalita.

I don't really like keeping things and I'm always bothered by small things. Hindi ko kasi ugali ang punduhin ang damdamin ko. Well, I already have done it with my dad but it was a different case that I'm feeling. That was a painful and relentless case I had. While Ysmael's is pleasure and intimacy that I wish I had. Magkaiba ang dalawa dahil kung pilit kong tinatakbuhan si daddy ay desperada naman akong maangkin si Ysmael.

And the thought of confessing to him my feelings was a plan.

Napatitig ako sa mga mata nitong inaantok, siguro akong dahil iyon sa alak na ininom niya. He was so sleepy already yet he remained in his senses.

Marahan ko siyang nginitian at panay lunok lang sa pinagplanong sasabihin. He smiled back and kissed my forehead. Kumabog ulit ng malakas ang puso ko doon.

His little actions are really making me think that he felt the same way as I do to him. Pero ayaw kong mag-isip ng mataas dahil baka masaktan lang sa huli.

Nagsimula nang pagpawisan ang mga palad ko kaya pinasikop ko ito sa likuran ng leeg niya. I swallowed hard for the second time again and nervously smiled, "Hey..." breaking the silence between us.

He returned my smile, "Hey..." normal niyang tugon na tila ba'y hindi lasing.

Small chuckled escaped from my mouth. Huminga ulit ako malalim at tinipon ang lakas upang masabi sa kaniya ang sigaw ng puso ko.

"Instead of something sweet, can I call you Gustav instead?" biting my lips as soon as I said that.

He smiled but confusion was in his eyes, "Mind to tell me why?"

Doon na huminto ang paghinga ko at bumilis ang tibok ng puso. His eyes and ears were eagerly waiting so I couldn't hold back anymore.

"Kasi Gustav kita."

At mabilis na napatikom matapos nun. He got flushed and stilled. His mind couldn't process it so he made me repeat it.

I giggled when I saw how his face became red in the darkness. Looking at him this flustered just gained my confidence back and naturally confessed my feelings to him.

"I like you. That's what it means, Yael." napatawa ako sa tinawag ko sa kaniya.

Unfortunately, he was too preoccupied with my confession that made him even stepped back. Napalunok lang ako doon at nginitian siya.

I'm also ready for this. Being rejected and dumped. Kasi hindi naman nito responsable ang nararamdam ko. It's still his choice whether or not to like me back. Basta sana lang ay hindi ako nito iiwasan katulad ng ginawa ng ibang taong minahal ko.

It does hurt being rejected but it hurts more to being ignored by the person whom you're accustomed to. It's like being abandoned. And that hurts like hell.

Umawang ang labi nito pero wala namang boses ang lumalabas. I knew that he's confused and surprised but he couldn't blame me. Nagtatapat lang ako sa kaniya ng katotohanan sa nararamdaman ko.

I chuckled as I slowly pulled my arms from his neck, slowly like how I also prepared myself to walk away. Pinakatitigan ko lang ulit siya at sa huling pagkakataon ay nagsalita upang makaalis na.

"I'm sorry for liking you. I know I should have stopped it but I didn't realize it until I saw how I felt sanctuary in your eyes and embrace." I stepped back and tried hard not to cry, "I like you, Yael. And I'm so sorry for feeling that." I last stated before pulling away.

And just before I could take the second step, it was followed by the turning on of lights and a grab from someone whom I didn't know I'd be sharing a kiss with.

Despite the applause and screams from the crowd, all I could think about was responding to his kiss.

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nyariina
8/12/'21