Trigger
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"The furnitures will be delivered tomorrow and will arrive 2 to 3 days after that, as stated in the service, unless there are any delays due to inclement weather." I heard the flutter of the turning pages from the other line as she continued, "I advise you to check your phone frequently to stay updated. So much for that, I wanted to check on you about how are you doing in Everett Valley."

Natawa ako, "Thank you, Dona. I'm currently fixing my stuffs and I think I'm doing great. How about you?"

"A little busy since Jarvis has an upcoming album. Kaya kahit medyo pagod ay pinipilit ko pa rin ang sarili ko. Alam mo na, may bata akong pinapalaki." I couldn't help but feel guilty that I stole the little time that was supposed for her baby. "Pero okay lang, masaya rin naman ako sa ginagawa ko." she assured.

I sighed through the line, "I really don't know what will I do without you, Dona. I'll just transfer money on your account later if I got the time."

"You really don't have to do that, Crisceana. Ginagawa ko ito bilang kaibigan mo, and not as your manager. Kapalit na rin ito sa tulong na nilahad mo sa pamilya ko. So, please don't bother, okay?"

Napangiti nalang ako at tumango, I'm still gonna do it anyway. "Okay, then. Just say hi to Amelia for me. Tell her I miss her." she chuckled and bided her goodbye.

Ibinaba ko na rin ang tawag at saka inasikaso ang iba pang mga papeles. Dona contacted me to handle the paperwork for my condominium lease and furniture. It should have been someone else's responsibility, but she insisted. I am really worried about her health, particularly the time she was meant to spend with her family. May anak na kasi itong tinataguyod at nasa poder niya pa ang mga magulang niya. She was always been this hardworking that's why I couldn't help but worry about her well-being.

Naglipat na agad ako ng pera sa account niya at tinago ang cellphone upang hindi masagot ang kaniyang tawag, kung sakaling ibabalik niya ang pera. I resumed organizing my clothes and some new stuff. Medyo nasisikipan na ako sa kwarto ko kaya nilabas ko na ang iba pang gamit na hindi ko na kakailanganin. I also planned to either donate my furnitures to Grandpa's workers or sell it at a negotiable price, depends on the weather.

Nang makatapos ay winalisan ko na rin ang aking silid upang maiwasan ang sakit. I easily get sick, especially if the place is dusty, kaya naman ay pinanatili ko lagi ang paligid ko na malinis.

Nabaling sa malaking glass door ang pansin ko nang bigla itong nilindol ng malakas na hangin sa labas. Bahagya itong nakabukas kaya kalahati ng kurtina ang tinatangay. The air outside blew a rough and harsh wave making its way inside my room, disassembling things from their positions. Napasimangot ako doon. Isasara ko na sana ito pero hindi ko mapigilang mapatulala sa labas nito.

The area was strikingly beautiful. Nilibot ko pa ang mga tingin sa iba't-ibang bahagi nito. I stared down at the large plot of land neatly separated into rows. It was the hacienda's plantation. Malayo-layo ito mula sa mansyon pero kahit ganoon ay malawak pa rin itong tingnan. Namangha ako sa laki ng nasasakupan ng hacienda. Halos hindi ko na makita kung abot saan ito. All I can see was the wide horizon from my vantage point. For a moment, I felt a familiar warmness wrapped my heart.

Ininat ko ang mga braso pa kaliwa't pa kanan hanggang sa nahinto ako nang masilayan ang maliit na pigura sa ilalim ng puno. My attention drew into it and whispered obscenities escaped from my mouth when I figured out who it was. Kahit kasing liit man ito langgam mula sa kinaroroonan ko ay malinaw sa utak ko kung sino ito. I rolled my eyes and unconsciously stared at him.

I still can't forget how shameless he was right after he dragged me out of the ranch house. Sa tuwing natatandaan ko iyon ay hindi ko mapigilan mainis.

What he said astounded me. He continued his stares and later on wandered his playful eyes all over me. I felt anxious about what he's doing but I didn't want him to discover my fear. It's obvious that it was my pride that didn't want to lose in the face of his assertiveness.

"Papasa na ba?"

Nabalik ako sa katinuan ko nang magsalita ito. I moved backwards and glowered at him, "What are you talking about?"

"Kanina mo pa kasi ako tinitigan kaya akala ko papasa na ako sa pamantayan mo."

I scoffed, "Have you really eaten lunch? I'm sorry but I don't like Morenos." I frankly told him to shut his vanity.

He was speechless for a second but smirked his shame, "If so, then I'll just make you like them. Mukhang hindi naman 'yon ganoon kahirap." tumayo pa ito ng matuwid habang napatango-tango. Hindi ko napigilan ang mapabuga ng hangin dahil sa kayabangan niya. I had no idea someone could be more narcissistic than Pacholo.

Hindi ko nalang sana ito papansinin pero mas pinainit niya pa ang ulo ko sa huli niyang sinabi. "At oo, tapos na ako nananghalian. Salamat sa pag-aalala." sabay kindat niya pa.

I'm irritated beyond belief that what was intended to be a pleasant endeavour ended up being shitty.

Kagat-labi na tiningnan ko siya. Prenteng nakaupo lang ito sa ilalim ng malaking puno habang nasa malayo ang tingin. Napansin ko ang nakakunot nitong noo kaya hindi ko napigilang magtaka kung ano ang iniisip nito.

He seemed to be preoccupied with his thoughts that he didn't notice his horse beside him was already stealing his apples. Natawa ako bigla at agad na napangiwi sa sarili. Sinulyapan ko siya ng panghuling beses bago pumasok ulit. I don't really have time for nonsense that's why I went back to my business.

Ilang araw ulit ang nagdaan habang abala ako sa mga papeles. Yesterday, my lease agreement was authorized for early termination. It would have been more difficult if my landlord hadn't agreed that I could include a clause in the contract allowing me to cancel the lease early. Mabuti nalang at hinanda ako ni Dona noon sa mga posibleng mangyare. I couldn't be more thankful.

Kasalukuyan akong kumakain nang bigla ako nitong tawagan. I accepted her call immediately. "Good morning, Dona."

"Good morning, Ceana. I want to let you know that your furnitures have arrived at Everett Valley at 4 a.m. this morning. I apologize for the late information. Nabaling kasi ang atensyon ko sa mga endorsement para kay Jarvis, good thing that your name passed through my newsfeed." bahagya akong natawa sa sinabi nito.

"No worries, Dona. Pinapaalam rin naman ako ng serbisyo. They actually emailed me a while ago that they are almost near the hacienda. Ako na ang bahala rito kasi kaya ko na rin naman. Thank you so much for your efforts."

I could hear her smile on the other line, "I'm always here for you, Ceana. Kung may iba ka pang ipagawa, don't hesitate to contact me, okay?"

I muffled in my nod. She then ended the call. Ihiniga ko na ulit ito sa hapagkainan at nagpatuloy sa pagkain. Habang kumakain ay hindi ko napigilan mapalibot ng tingin sa paligid. After the call ended it was the only time I realized how deafening the silence was. And I hate the fact that it disturbed my inner peace.

Naalala ko bigla si Grandpa. Was it always like this whenever his alone? I wandered my eyes around, and eventually felt a lump in my throat. Paano niya nakayang mag-isang tumira dito kung ganito kamalungkot ang paligid? It must be really tough for him to maintain his sanity while living alone in this loneliness, distant from his family. Hindi ko napigilang madismaya sa sarili ko. I would have spent some time for him if I had known he was leading such a life.

Napabuntonghininga nalang ako habang tinitigan ang pagkain. Mukhang nawalan ako ng gana dahil sa iniisip. Saktong umilaw bigla ang cellphone ko ay pinilit ko itong iwinaksi sa isipan at sinagot ang tawag.

Tumungo na ako sa higanteng pintuan at agad na nasilayan ang dalawang wing van truck. Bukod dito ay may apat na bodyguard rin na nagbantay sa kanila. Sumilay naman ang ngiti ko sa nakita. Sigurado akong si Grandpa ang nakiusap sa kanilang sumama papasok dahil sa kalagayan ko. Even though not everyone in the mansion is aware of my anxiety, they are nonetheless attentive and don't question anything Grandpa says. Siguro ay ganoon nila ito pinagkakatiwalaan at ganoon rin si Grandpa sa kanila.

I inhaled deeply as I accepted and signed the papers that were handed out. Kinakabahan ako but seeing a lot of maids lessen the nervousness that I felt. Tinulungan na rin nila akong ipasok ito sa storage house na nasa likuran lang ng mansyon. I was thankful that some servants helped carry the things. Ilang minuto nang matapos rin kami.

Nakangiti na inabot ko ang pampunas mula sa isang kasambahay. Pinagsabihan ko na rin silang magpahinga muna bago bumalik sa trabaho kaya ginawa naman agad nila. I was grateful enough to provide them snacks. Nakita kong natuwa naman ang mga guwardiya at ang delivery men.

I was just contentedly watching them when the mayordoma appeared, carrying a large medicine bag. Nabaling ang atensyon ko sa kaniya nang inutusan niya ang isang kasambahay na dalhin iyon sa malapit na farmhouse.

"May nangyare ba?" I interrupted them.

Biglang nagyuko ang mayordoma upang batiin ako, "May biglang utos lang si Señor Crisando dahil sa aksidenteng nangyare sa kalapit na sakahan."

I got worried, "Nandoon ba siya?" she nodded.

Ngumiti ako at nagboluntaryo pero hindi ako nito pinayagan. "Naku po, huwag na Señorita. Tapos na rin kami sa paglilinis. Kami na po ang bahala rito." dagdag naman ng babaeng kasambahay.

Inilingan ko sila, "No, it's fine. I actually have something to tell Grandpa. And also, I want you to use your spare time to rest." pagsisinungaling ko para payagan ako. Napatingin nalang siya sa mayordoma upang marinig ang desisyon nito.

I smiled widely when she sighed in defeat. Abot-tengang ngiti na tinanggap ko ang medicine bag. Medyo nagulantang naman ako sa bigat nito. Kaya nagpanggap nalang akong maayos para hindi niya bawiin ang sinabi.

I was in the middle of the gravel road when I noticed that it has wheels on its butt. Agad ko itong binaba at hinanap ang hawakan. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang mahanap ito at masayang nagpatuloy sa lakad.

I couldn't have felt more liberated with my sunday dress dancing with the wind and face covered with my broad stray hat, as I strolled towards the nearby farmhouse. Hindi nagtagal at nakarating na ako dito. Usually, somebody will welcome you but there wasn't this time. Nagtaka na naglibot ako ng tingin sa paligid. Walang katao-tao pero nahagap sa mga tenga ko ang kakaunting ingay sa likurang bahagi nito.

I nodded my way to feed my curiosity. When I arrived in the field, I noticed a group of farmers gathered under the large oak tree. Hindi ko mapigilang mapakunot ng noo.

I catch a glimpse of Leonora and Francisco and it was the moment I noticed about their absence. Kaya pala walang ingay sa paligid ko simula kaninang umaga. Hindi ko nalang ito pinansin dahil baka may ibang inutos si Grandpa sa kanila.

I remember the medicine bag that I was holding that's why I attempted to search for Grandpa. I was hesitant to approach him first since he was blended in with the other farmers, but I eventually had the courage to get closer to him.

Hindi ako tuluyang lumapit sa kanila dahil pinapahupa ko muna ang umaahon na kaba. Bago pa man ito mawala ay hindi ko mapigilan ang mapalingon sa gawing pinalilibutan nila. I tried to stretch out my neck to peek at what they were so engrossed in. Pero napakurap ako nang una kong masilayan ay ang seryosong mukha ni Ysmael.

I could only see his side profile from my vantage point. He was unlike anything I'd ever seen before. As he tried to properly stitch something laying on the large oak table, his brows wrinkled in concentration. I couldn't figure out what it was, so I simply gazed at him reflexively.

Even with sweats running down his face, his angles were so apparent that he didn't appear haggard in the least. I couldn't help but swallow as his veins molded nicely inside his flesh. Whenever I see those things, they were always appealing to my eyes. Slowly, my attention shifted to his torn shirt, which was covered in stains that I couldn't figure out what they were. He was wearing cargo pants below and the more I look at it the more I can see the red stains dripping on it.

Lumundag ang puso ko. Mabilis kong inangat ang tingin ko at doon ko lang napagtanto ang ginagawa nito.

In a splint of seconds, nausea rose inside my stomach. I didn't mean for them to hear my loud gag. Kaya kahit na magkahalong kaba at pagsusuka ang iniinda ay nakuha ko pang tingnan sila. Doon ako napansin ni Grandpa at gulat nang makita ako.

But my attention was not wholly on him but on Ysmael's. Kagaya ng iba ay nagulantang rin ito nang makita ako. Our gazes locked, but the blood on his hands scared me away. Wala pa sa alas kwatro na napatalikod ako at pinipigilan ang sarili na masuka.

"Crisceana! Anong ginagawa mo dito?" Grandpa called out but I didn't bother looking at him at patuloy lang sa pag-alis.

Hingal na hingal ako pagkatapos kong maisuka lahat ng kinakain. Ibinaling ko sa langit ang isipan pero mas lumala lamang ito nang may mga imaheng tumambad sa mga mata ko. Mariin akong napapikit at malakas na sinapo ang dibdib noong lumusong ang kaba. I tried so hard to forget what I remembered and breathed a lot of air. I did it several times till Leonora came out with water in her hands. Biglang humupa ang kaba sa dibdib ko pagkatapos uminom.

I gasped for some air again and breathe. Mabuti nalang at naagapan ko pa ang kaba dahil kung hindi mas lumala lamang ang sitwasyon.

"Crisceana, how are you feeling? Do you want me to take you to the hospital?" pag-alala ni Grandpa.

Umiling lang ako, "Okay lang ako. It was just normal and there's nothing to worry about."

He stared at me with suspicion, "Hindi mo na kailangan magsinungaling sa harapan ko, Crisceana. Gusto kong matulungan ka kaya magsabi ka ng totoo."

Napatingala nalang ako sa kaniya at napangiti. I like the way his compassion touched my heart. Inilingan ko nalang siya. "I'm really fine but I think I need to rest for now."

Wala na itong nagawa kundi sundin ang kahilingan ko. Both Leonora and Francisco accompanied me back to the mansion. Nang makapasok sa silid ay agad naman akong nahiga at pilit na hindi pansinin ang kaunting kaba na dulot sa nakita kanina. Hanggang sa hindi ko namalayang nakatulog na pala ako.

I woke up with a wince when I felt my spine aches. Naginat-inat ako bago bumaling sa labas. Napaangat ang mga kilay ko nang mapagtantong gabi na pala. Pinakatitigan ko muna ang kadiliman bago napagpasyahan na bumaba para kumain.

It was beyond midnight, and the entire mansion was deafeningly quiet. Hindi naman nakakatakot dahil maraming dim lights na nakakabit sa mga haligi na nadadanan ko. Panay lingon ko pa sa madidilim na mga daanan baka sakaling may tao pa. Hanggang sa makababa ay dumiretso ako sa kusina.

I halted for a second upon entering the kitchen. When the strange coolness in the room enveloped me, I felt goosebumps shoot up from the soles of my feet. Napahinto ako sa paghinga at napapikit.

I was just trying to be oblivious about my surroundings when a low chuckle entered my ears. Mabilis pa sa mga kamay ng orasan akong napatili. Ngunit bago pa man ito marinig ng mga natutulog ay may mga kamay nang humablot sa'kin.

And I was so scared that I nearly passed out in Ysmael's arms.

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nyariina
12/31/'20
7/20/'21