Assistant of the Assistant
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Leonora and Francisco awoke mere minutes later. Sa tingin ko ay nakahinga ako ng maluwag dahil doon. When they spotted us eating, they quickly joined us. Si Leonora ay ang daldal na kahit kakagising lang. But for the first time, I'm thankful for her chatty demeanor. Not only did it help to relieve the awkwardness in the room, but it also served as an excuse for me to remain silent and ignore Ysmael.

But no matter how much I tried to ignore him, he simply didn't seem to want it, and it's driving me insane.

"Ikaw, Señorita, may gusto ka pa bang puntahan bago umuwi?" he asked naturally while I was there sitting, barely holding my breath.

Naiilang na nagkibitbalikat lamang ako dahil sa titig nito. As much as I want to follow what my mind was saying, I couldn't because my heart was stubborn. There was something in him that I couldn't resist. I don't know if it's a mere pity but I just don't think I can resist him.

"Uh—I think I better go home already. Grandpa might be dead worried about me." pagdadahilan ko kahit alam kong hindi naman 'yon mag-aalala dahil sila ang kasama ko.

"You sure?" his eyes were worried, which made me suspicious because maybe he knew something?

Napatango nalang ako nang maalala ang nangyare sa hagdanan noon. Of course, he'd know! Nakita niya, eh!

He didn't say anything but wet his lips and nodded, unable to say no to what I wanted. Although, it's not like I have anywhere else to go. Ayaw ko namang pumunta sa resort dahil may nakakahiya akong alaala doon, at lalong-lalo na sa farm. Let alone what happened in Parterre. Ewan ko ba, lahat ata ng pwede kong puntahan rito sa hacienda ay puro may nakabaon na alaala na hindi ko malimot-limotan.

Mabilis ang oras at papasok na ulit kami sa daan patungong mansyon. Because we're only four, we only travelled in one car. Both of the males were in the lead, while Leonora and I were at the rear. We're not actually sitting beside each other because the car we used was different from the car I'd usually ride on. Wala rin itong harang sa gitna kaya posible pa na makapag-usap kami.

Nang mauwi ay pinagbuksan ako ni Ysmael ng pinto. Without glancing at him, I thanked him and pushed my way to the huge stairway.Tinawag niya si Leonora na nakasunod lang sa akin. I wasn't the one he called but I still turned to see what they are going to talk about.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw his gaze fall on mine. Bigla akong napahinto at napaurong sa kinatatayuan. My vision isn't perfect, but I could tell he was gazing at me. Iniwas ko ang tingin papunta kay Leonora na papababa papunta sa pwesto niya.

"Bakit, Yael? May nakalimutan pa ba ako?" ibinaling niya kay Leonora ang tingin at umiling.

"Pakisabi nalang kay Señorita na tawagan ako kung gusto niyang lumabas ulit." atsaka sabay silang dalawa na bumaling sa akin. Si Leonora na may naguguluhang tingin at si Ysmael sa seryoso lamang.

Napakurap ako at umaktong walang narinig, "What are you two talking about?"

Nag-awang labi si Leonora bago nagtanong, "Ba't hindi nalang ikaw?..." hindi ko na nakuhang pakinggan ang mga sinasabi nito dahil bigla akong tinawag ng taong pinakahuli na gusto kong makita.

Before turning to him, I closed my eyes tightly. It's funny how I left the mansion with one problem yesterday and returned with another. Mukhang ayaw ata ng mga problema na iwanan ako.

Blankong tiningnan ko lang siya at napalunok.

"Crisceana." He had a little smile on his face, but despite its diminutive size, the warmth it provided me was enough to sting my heart.

"Dad." I uttered, trying hard not to choke in his front.

"Have you eaten yet?"

When he asked that, I was a little taken aback. It's common for a father to ask his daughter such a question, but it was unusual for me. Especially because this is the first time we've spoken to one other in over a decade.

I nodded, "How about you?"

Pilit lang ang ngiti nito na umiling, "Would you mind joining me for breakfast? I don't mind if you won't eat, though. But I simply wanted to let you know that I made your favorite dish."

His words were hurting my heart and his expression was strangling me. Hindi ko alam kung totoo ba 'to ang ipinapakita niya o may gusto lang itong sabihin sa'kin. But regardless of the lack of information, I followed him into the dining room.

Napakurap ako nang hindi masilayan ang mag-ina niya. Narinig ko naman siyang tumawa ng mahina, "They're out shopping, which is why I was able to spend time with you." he replied as he walked up to his seat.

Napabuga ako ng mahina at napatingala para maiwasan ang pagtulo ng mga namumuong luha. My heart ached as I approached the dining table, especially when I noticed the food. Siya na ang naglagay ng pagkain sa plato ko kaya mas lalo akong naluluha.

"Thank you," I whispered bitterly after he served me.

Nakita kong napangiti lamang ito kaya napayuko ako. I couldn't help but be afraid since everything felt so unreal. Natatakot ako dahil baka mapaniwala niya ako sa pinapakita niya. Baka dahil dito ay mawawala bigla ang galit ng puso ko sa kaniya. I don't want to be swayed by this alone. I'm looking for justice for what happened. I deserved to hear his arguments directly from him. Dahil baka sakali ay may pag-asa pa na magtiwala ulit ako sa kaniya. After all, his actions were unethical.

Tahimik lang akong nakaupo habang pinipilit na nilulunok ang mga pagkain na ikinasama ng kalooban ko. I mean, I appreciate the fact that he cooked it for me, but how could he overlook his own daughter's favorite food? o baka ay nananadya lang ito dahil sa ginawa ko sa noong isang araw?

Napatingala ako sa kaniya ng tumikhim siya. His plate was still half-full, but he appeared to be finished. "It's been so long since I've seen you," he began.

I suppressed the agony as my eyelids fluttered, "Yeah..." tanging nasambit ko.

I heard his familiar yet ancient chuckle, "Hindi ko inakalang halos kasing tangkad mo na ako. Although, I admit that I'm the shortest among the Silverios." natawa siya sa sarili, "I knew you'd turn out to be this lovely when you grew up. You have a striking resemblance to your grandmother." pagpupuri niya na hindi ko nagustuhan.

I wanted to tell him that I didn't resemble any like his mother in the least. But opening a topic about my mom is something I still can't talk about. Not with him.

Tumigil ito sa pagtawa nang mapansin tahimik lamang ako. He assumed that it was something to do with the food but I only answered him a no. I wasn't lying, though. Because it wasn't only the food that was bothering me right now, but everything else as well.

Pero pagod ako para isa-isahin ko pa ang lahat ng iyon. Now that my temper is still under control, I refused to squander my energy on such nonsense.

Nagbukas ulit ito ng mapag-usapan at sa pagkakataong ito ay tungkol sa buhay ko.

If I wasn't respectful enough, I would've already told him that it's none of his business anymore.

"I heard you retired from modelling?"

Tumango ako, "It's been so long already and I thought I needed a break."

He nodded as if he really agrees with my decision. "Have you thought of working again?"

Napaangat nalang ako ng tingin nang sabihin niya 'yon. Right, he doesn't know anything. There are only a few people who know about my PTSD and none of them was my father.

"I have no plans for now." sambit ko nalang para hindi ito manghinala.

His brows were wrinkled, "Why not? You're still young to rest, though. There are still plenty of career opportunities available for you. So, rather of being realistic, why did you choose to be rotten within this place?"

Napakurap ako sa sinasabi niya. Ano ang akala niya sa akin? Tamad? Ni hindi ko nga ginusto ang dahilan kung bakit ako nandito. Also, why do I get the impression that he's attempting to be a good father when he clearly isn't? Baka nakalimutan niyang iniwan niya ako para sa kaligayahan niya.

I scoffed and almost rolled my eyes, "You heard it from me. I retired because I needed a break." sagot ko habang pilit na kinokontrol ang tono ng pananalita.

"Until when?"

My forehead creased when he asked that, "Until I want to." I responded as soon as I was able. Bigla napalitan ng pagkakairita ang puso ko mula sa kirot.

Napatango-tango siya habang nasa pagkain ang tingin, "If that's what you want. But if you could, try looking for a job as soon as possible so that you won't look like an incompetent tenant in your Grandpa's house."

Mabilis akong napatingin sa kaniya, mga luhang nagbabadyang lumabas at puso na pinipiga. I was too offended that I became speechless. Hindi ako makapaniwala na marinig iyon mula sa kaniya, mula sa nag-iisa kong magulang. Hearing that coming out from him felt like an eruption of a volcano inside me.

Bukod sa sakit ay hindi ko mapigilang madismaya sa kaniya. How can he be so insensitive? He should have asked me first my reasons and not just spout things that aren't even giving any sense. He didn't even consider my feelings nor ask what is hindering me from continuing my steps. Napakasama niya.

"I don't intend to come off as if I'm telling you what to do with your life, but I simply think it'd be better if you didn't settle for mediocrity. You're a Silverio, I'm sure you have huge ambitions. Plus, it won't cost you your pride if you start for something different other than modelling. I mean, I get that it's your area of expertise, but your course isn't going to help you out here." he claimed.

Napatawa ako dahil sa pagkakitid ng kaniyang utak. I know I look crazy and disrespectful but I couldn't help myself from being disappointed.

No course should be taken lightly. I may have graduated with a BSc in Fashion Design, but that doesn't imply I'm limited to modelling and fashion; in fact, I could easily start and develop a business because I'm well-known in the field. Not to mention the fact that it was the only thing that kept me going when I was still in excruciating pain as a result of what he had done. Tapos ngayon ay titingnan niya lang ito ng ganoon kababa? Saan na ang respeto niya? Nawala rin ba ito kasabay noong pag-iwan niya sa akin?

I know that he was only worried about how my life would be in the future but I don't care. I don't care if he only thought of it for his daughter, I don't care if he's only concerned. Underestimating what I love is the same as disrespecting me. And I'm not going to put up with it.

Kuyom kamao ko siyang tiningnan habang pinipilit ang sariling na ipaglaban. My lips wanted to insult his dignity, and my hands wanted to smack him in the face with the truth, but my heart and mind were both exhausted, and I could only remain silent. And it's frustrating me. Because no matter how much I tried to stand up on my own, my own feelings are only going to betray me.

Wala sa sariling napatayo ako habang tinitingnan siya ng blanko. Tinitigan ko muna siya ng ilang sandali para ipaalam sa kaniya kung saan siya nagkamali bago nginitian, "Sure, I'll let Grandpa know. Thank you for being concerned with my life—well, if only you really are, though." because it looked like he's more concerned about his dignity as a father than his daughter's psychological well-being.

"I think I'm already full. I'm heading up." I bitterly said as I walked myself out of the room, still holding back tears.

Isang linggo ang lumipas at inis na inis ako habang papunta sa bago kong trabaho. Unang araw ko kaya nahihirapan akong mamili ng puwede kong suotin na babagay sa trabaho upang hindi mahusgahan ng magiging amo ko. Napangiwi na naman ulit ako sa naalala.

Of all people, why do I have to work for Ysmael? Why do I have to be his assistant when I don't even know anything about his field?

Asar na asar akong napatingin sa sariling repleksyon mula sa harang at dahil ito kay Grandpa na siyang dahilan kung bakit araw-araw kong makikita si Ysmael magmula ngayon.

When he heard me seeking a job in his land, he was in disbelief. Tila ba'y hindi ito makapaniwala at litong-lito rin sa narinig. But I couldn't say I blamed him. I may have grown up in a rural environment, but I have never considered working in one.

Una sa lahat ay maarte ako. I don't like being around with the dirt and dust that I needed to take a bath every day. Pangalawa ay wala akong alam sa buhay magsasaka. I'm not implying that all of his workers are farmers; rather, I'm referring to how difficult their tasks are. Hindi ko kayang mababad sa araw ng ilang oras at mas lalong hindi ko kaya ang magbuhat ng mabibigat. Pangatlo at ang panghuli ay wala akong kaalam-alam sa gagawin ko.

I know that I could just choose a job outside the hacienda but I couldn't. Hindi ako pwedeng magtrabaho sa labas dahil bukod sa kilala ako ay ayoko ring aatakihin dahil sa mga tao sa paligid.

"But why do I have to be his assistant? You could just give me something else! Like an assistant cook or maybe a waitress!"

Napabuga si Grandpa ng hangin at naghilot ng sentido. "I don't mean to offend you but you do know how bad are you at cooking? And waitress? We don't offer that job here! Trabaho na 'yon ng assistant cook!"

Inis na nagdabog ako sa harapan niya, "Then just find me another job! I can't be with him always."

"Why can't you when he's your bodyguard?"

"Exactly! He's already working for me and now I'll be working for him too—this is bullshit, Grandpa!" halos maiyak na ako sa harapan niya para mabago niya lang ang trabaho ko.

Tumayo siya bigla na nakapameywang. "Wala akong alam kung bakit ayaw na ayaw mong makatrabaho si Yael but I just want you to know that I couldn't offer you anything but this."

"But—"

He interrupted, "Pinaalam ko na ito kagabi ni Yael at hihintayin ka niyang pumasok sa Lunes. Wala na akong magagawa kung ayaw mo."

Napasuntok ako sa repleksyon ko at napangiwi dahil sa sakit na kinahitnatnan. Impit akong napadaing habang nagngingitngit. Narinig kong kinamusta ako ni Leonora pero hindi ko lang ito pinansin at nagmusot na tumingin sa labas ng bintana.

I still can't believe I'm heading to Ysmael's workplace. Labis ko itong iniiwasan sa mga nagdaang araw tapos ngayon ay makikita ko nalang ang sarili kong makakasama siya araw-araw.

It's so absurd! He's working for me and I'll be working for him. In short, we'll be working for each other and that couldn't be more complicated than my life. I can't even!

Ang inis ko ay mas lumala lamang nang matandaan si Beviene kanina na panay sunod sa'kin na para bang isang aso. Isa rin siya sa iniiwasan ko dahil bukod sa nakakairita ito ay sa tingin niya talaga ay magkapatid kami.

I was so unimpressed and irritated that I even made her cry in front of her mom. I know I should feel guilty but watching her cry felt like revenge to me.

Napairap ako sa kawalan. That's why I shouldn't get involved to anyone else again because of the endless drama. Ang rami ko ng problema sa buhay, ayaw ko nang dagdagan pa ito.

Napanguso ako nang maalala si Yael. I feel like my decision was right that I should avoid him. Sumisigaw kasi ang buong pagkatao nito ng red flag.

Hindi nagtagal ay nakarating naman kami sa rancho. It was still early in the morning and I could see the horses running around the wide land from outside. Bigla akong nasasabik.

Sinamahan naman ako nila Leonora at Francisco papasok sa loob na para bang anak nilang hinatid sa school.

"Magandang umaga, Señorita!" bati ng tagapamahala sa rancho.

Tipid nga nginitian ko ito, "Good morning..." ani ko habang kinakabahan sa harapan niya.

Iginaya niya ako paupo sa gawang kahoy mga upuan. "Diyan lang po muna kayo, Señorita. Tatawagin ko lang si Yael upang ipaalam na nandito ka na." pekeng ngumiti lamang ako at tinanguan ulit siya.

Nakita kong nagpaalam na rin sila Leonora na umuwi. Hindi kasi ito pinayagan ni Grandpa na sumama sa'kin dahil trabaho ang pinasukan ko at sapat na raw si Ysmael para alagaan ako.

Just the thought of him taking care of me is disgusting. Ano pa kaya kung lagi ko na itong makasama?

Napailing nalang atsaka napatingala nang marinig ko ang pamilyar na boses nito. I immediately fixed myself as he popped out from the door heading outside the barn.

Sumilay ang ngiti nito sa dating nakakunot noong mukha. Ilang sandali lamang bago nagbago ulit ito at naging mapag-asar na ngiti.

Pikon na tinaasan ko siya ng kilay kaya natawa siya, "You're such a pervert, aren't you?"

He chuckled, "I just find it surprising seeing you wearing something unusual."

Napaatras ako at biglang nakaramdam ng pagka-conscious sa sinuot. What's wrong with cargo pants and a loose shirt? Hindi ba ito ang nababagay sa trabaho ko? Unless he wants me to have a hard time with my work and wear sunday dresses.

"Akala ko lang kasi na sadyang ayaw mo lang magsuot ng ibang damit bukod sa bestida." he reasoned out and that made me feel a little better.

Maya-maya pa ay pumasok na ulit ang tagapamahala na nagngangalang Jigo. May katandaan na ito pero ayaw niyang tawagin namin siya ng iba kundi Jigo lang.

Naglahad na ito ng mga papel na kakailanganin ko raw na fill-upan. Hindi na lang ako nagtanong pa dahil gusto ko na rin matapos 'yon. Mga tatlong pahina rin iyon bago ako natapos.

He went in and out from his office and minutes later they officially hired me as the Assistant Veterinarian of the only veterinarian in Hacienda Silverio.

Panay pang-aasar nito sa'kin habang patungo kami sa office niya na hindi ko inaakalang mayroon pala. It was in the remote part of the ranch, and next to it was another structure where he did surgery or admitted some of the animals.

Medyo na mangha ako kung gaano ka linis ang opisina nito. It's not only spotless, but it also smells great. Medyo naibsan ang pag-alala ko na maging assistant nito. I wouldn't have asked for another job if I had known it would be as clean and invigorating.

"This is your cubicle and that is mine." turo niya sa malaking frosted glass, "That door over there will lead you to the kitchen and the other is the comfort room." humarap siya sa akin at seryoso lang na pinapaliwanag ang mga kakailangan kong gawin.

I was amused when I learned about how difficult his job is. He told me that if it's too late for him to drive back home, he said he generally sleeps in his workplace. He also mentioned that he'd travel around the whole hacienda just to check on the animals.

If we think about it, his work is more difficult than that of a veterinarian. Consider being the only veterinarian in such a vast land. Paano niya nakayanang hindi kumuha ng mga katulong na may alam sa ginagawa niya?

"Some graduates tend to overlook what it means to be working here. Akala kasi nila na may mas madali at malaking sahod na trabaho kaya hindi nila tinatanggap ang alok sa hacienda. I can't blame them, though. It's their mindset." nginitian niya ako bigla kaya napakurap ako, "Having that kind of mindset is the biggest hindrance to achieving an easier life."

My mouth opened a little, "What do you mean?"

He shot a smirk and that couldn't flutter my heart even more, "Sabihin nalang nating tinalikuran nila ang biyayang sila na mismo ang pinuntahan."

Doon ko napagtanto ang sinasabi nito at hindi mapigilan ang maitanong kung ilan ang kinikita niya sa loob ng isang buwan.

Kasabay ng paglaki ng mga mata ay ang pagkahulog ng suot kong sumbrero. Hindi ako nakapaniwalang tinitigan siya na tumatawa lang, na para bang wala lang sa kaniya ang sinabi niya.

"So, you're a freaking millionaire inside half a year?!"

He only responded me with a laugh while I was there dumbfounded by what I heard. I know how hard his work is but I didn't expect him to be earning much! Now that I heard it from him, I understand why he chose to stay inside the hacienda when there's a lot of opportunities out there.

Dahil, oo, marami pa nga siyang opportunidad sa labas pero kasing laki ba ng sahod nito ang kinikita niya sa isang buwan?

"Why does it look like it's surprising to you?" natatawang niyang tanong, "Nakalimutan mo atang bilyonaryo ang lolo mo." sabi niya atsaka siya naglakad papunta sa office niya.

He handed me some things that I supposed will be used during the work.

"Basahin mo nalang diyan kung paano 'yan gamitin. Kung hindi mo maintindihan ay puntahan mo lang ako sa loob at ipapakita ko sa'yo kung paano." nagtatango-tango lang ako sa kaniya.

Maya-maya matapos ibigay ang lahat ay binaling niya ulit ang atensyon sa akin na nakapameywang. "May gusto ka pa bang itanong bago tayo magsimula?"

Napanguso ako habang nag-iisip ng pwede kong itanong. Wala sa sariling pumasok sa isipan ko ang kung bakit pa nito tinanggap ang pagiging bodyguard ko kung ganito naman kahirap ang trabaho niya.

He only smiled at that question and leaned on the table as he crossed his arms above his breast. Naiilang akong nag-iwas ng tingin ng titigan niya kaya tumawa na naman ulit siya.

"Actually,..." mabilis ko siyang tiningala nang magsalita ito. When he saw my expectant face and couldn't help his smiles from showing. Binigyan ko siya ng masamang tingin dahil sa tingin ko ay inaasar niya lang ako.

"No one offered me that job."

"Huh?" mabilis kong tugon nang hindi makuha ang ibig niyang sabihin.

"Being your bodyguard wasn't actually a decision made by your Grandpa. It was solely mine."

Kumabog ng pagkalakas-lakas ang dibdib ko. "W-what do you—can you just say it already? Ang dami mong alam!"

Malakas na napabuhakhak siya sa sinabi ko atsaka napailing nalang. He then went up to me and crouched to bring our faces level. And for the umpteenth time, he flashed a smile before uttering something that made my heart race.

"I thought that it would be great to work for someone who's the exact opposite as me. And guess what? I've never had such great fun before, ngayon lang."

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nyariina
1/11/'21
7/24/'21