It was difficult to keep the smile off my face as I sat with Captain Thompson in the infirmary. His fever had not returned, and his vision had improved. Although he still suffered from topical pain caused by his skin condition, his memory appeared sharp as a horsewhip.

"You broke my heart, you know that?" Jules expressed his grief openly, giving no regard to the men listening to our conversation, including his cot mate, who behaved as if this was his love affair.

"It's true," Hugo said. "I have never seen Jules so distracted. Before you, boxing was his passion."

I glared at Hugo, but it did no good. He just grinned like a goon. "You're not being fair, Captain. There is more at stake here than your heart."

This had Jules puckering his lips, and the sudden urge to kiss those lips almost compelled me to behave inappropriately. "How could you know what it's like to be a man. If you did, you would know it is not in our nature to pronounce our feelings willy nilly."

I blinked at his admission. It was incredibly vulnerable of him to speak his truth in front of his mates. "I am not a man, of course, but I have spent enough time around them to empathize. And I understand the difficult position you're in. In fact, we are both in difficult positions."

"I agree. Yet, something brought you here. You must believe there is hope." He wore a look I could not describe. It may have been this hope he spoke of, and it may have been dread.

"Damned right there's hope!" Hugo's commandment had everyone within earshot blinking in his direction. "We may look like we only care about ourselves, but I have yet to meet a man who did not wish for a woman who understood him."

This produced a round of "Ayes", and I watched the men speak to each other as news of our intimate conversation spread.

"There is always a way forward, Jules. What is life but a series of complications to be worked out. If happiness came easy, it would not be so precious."

I spoke loud enough for my voice to carry through the infirmary, provoking another round of "Ayes", and a pronounced smirk appeared on Jules's face. "You have made that abundantly clear to me, Mistress Hayes. Although, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with carrying the weight of such lofty expectations."

"But imagine the accolades you would garner for your efforts," I said plainly. "You could lead the charge for others. What man would not want the ardent support and admiration of thousands of English women?"

This time, my sentiment prompted buoyant laughter. Perhaps, I did not know men as well as I thought.

"You have yourself a real dreamer, Jules!" Hugo sputtered out his comment between guffaws. I turned and yanked his bed linens up over his head. This brought on even more laughter, and Matron Orwell appeared a moment later at the foot of Hugo's bed, hands on hips, looking all possessed.

"Need I remind you we are not in a pub. This is an infirmary, and some of your mates need to rest."

Hugo grimaced as he reined in his mirth. "You are so right, Matron. I apologize for my outburst. Though, it has been an age since we have had something to laugh about."

The men agreed with mute nods as they slunk beneath their linens. As for the matron, the hard lines of her mouth softened, and her hands slipped from her hips. "I expect it has. Just try to have your outbursts quietly."

She returned to her station and Hugo faced Jules and me, propping his chin in his hands. "So, where were we? Oh, yes. You were telling Jules how hard he needs to work to make you and the whole population of English females happy."

Jules sent his friend a hearty scowl. "Play time's over. Give us moment, will you?"

Hugo offered a theatrical eye roll worthy of an insulted royal, but I caught the subtle smile beneath his pout as he reclined into his pillow. Jules placed his hand on mine, causing my senses to collide beneath my skin.

"Why are you really here, Rose?"

My gaze dropped to his fingers, and a nervous buzz started up, distracting me from his inquiry. Why was I here...really? A time or two I thought it was a decision made too hastily but could not undo without embarrassing recourse. On the face of it, the idea seemed preposterous for a well-to-do courtesan to chase across the sea after a singular man whom she had only just met.

The worst of it was, I still felt unprepared to become his wife. What kind of damage had I caused in this endeavor? Not only for myself, but for my staff, my benefactors and, most assuredly, for Jules?

He looked ready to prompt me again when I lifted my gaze to meet his searching eyes. "I suppose I have come to learn what love feels like. And if, indeed, that is the driving force behind my mind's preoccupation with you. It was quite bothersome after you left. And, to a great degree, before that."

"Indeed?" An easy smile came to him at my admission of weakness. I wanted to blame it on the delirium, but he appeared quite sane. "You had thoughts of me before I left London? When we were apart, I presume?"

"You presume correctly."

"When did these thoughts occur? During your waking hours? In your dreams?"

Of course, he would enquire about such nonsense. He enjoyed provoking me. "Both, if you must know."

"Oh, I must. And when I commanded your thoughts, what were we doing? Speaking? Dancing? Bagging cocks in the countryside?"

His persistence had me straightening my back, and I inhaled deeply to calm my nerves. I glanced back at his hand, which had not moved from its position over mine. "I cannot recall the exact details of these thoughts, Captain. The important bit is that they would not abate even after you left London. They had me distracted and confused."

"Distracted from what? Focusing on the earl's noble..."

"Jules, please."

He held his tongue. He may have been biting it, although I could not tell. "How is the earl? I expect he was properly put out when you left London on a navy vessel. I'm surprised he didn't send a foot guard to attend you at sea."

"Really. Must you be so jealous? The earl is like any other royal wishing to take on a courtesan."

He let go a laugh, not caring who heard him, but he wore a sober expression. "I know that is not true. And so do you."

"What do you mean?"

"Have you forgotten who my sister is courting?"

Blast. He didn't need to explain himself. I knew that Alice and Lord Kingsley exchanged missives daily. Why couldn't people keep their bloody mouths shut?

"Whatever the earl's son has reported is likely an embellishment. I told you he enjoys playing with prose. And regardless, the earl is married."

"Married or not, the earl has become obsessed with you. How can I expect to compete with a nobleman?" His fingers flexed around my hand then loosened as he pulled away and took to staring at the ceiling. "You should have left me where I was. Your presence here has only made matters worse."

I pursed my lips. Was he mad, or just ineffably stubborn? "Now you listen to me, Captain Thompson. I did not travel two fortnights across this blasted ocean for my health. I have risked my independence to make this journey. The very independence that caused me to question the aptness of your proposal. And the only people I have considered through this entire ordeal have been you and me, which is inexcusably selfish on my part. But that is the honest truth. It is down to you to believe it or reject it."

I stood from my seat, knowing if I stayed I would likely ramble on well past politeness. "You need your rest, and I need to attend to your comrades. I will return later to check on you."

It was impossible not to notice the eyes following me as I walked down the aisle. Fortunately, most of them twinkled with humour. I hadn't exactly kept my outburst quiet. For the rest of my shift, I dodged personal questions asked by the men I tended. Some wanted to know if I had really sailed out to sea to chase after my true love. While others seemed interested in my profession and if they could call on me once I returned to London.

When I stopped by Captain Boucetta's cot to check on him, I fought a bout of guilt as I stepped behind the screen. I could still hear the hurt in Jules's voice when he accused me of giving Duncan special treatment. If we were to get anywhere with our relationship, a modicum of trust would need to be established.

"Rose, you have not forsaken me." Duncan's cheerful greeting brought me around, and I smiled as I sat at his bedside.

"Of course not. Why would I?"

He attempted a smile, but it came across crooked. The pain medicinals must have worn off. "Well, now that your true love has been rescued from his broken ship, I thought you would have no need of me."

I tsked, letting him know his words stung. "Do you really think that little of me? That I would toss aside our friendship so thoughtlessly? I am an honorable woman, despite what might be said of my profession."

Frowning, he shook his head. "You are honorable. I have known this from the day we met. Forgive me?" He lifted his gaze so I might see the regret in his eyes. This man was no different from any other. Driven by a powerful ego to act out then repent.

"You are forgiven."

Appeased, he relaxed into his cot and smiled. "So, will you be giving up your profession for needlepoint and children?"

The humour in his assumption had me snorting a rather unladylike laugh, and I brought my hand to my mouth to stop it from gaining momentum. Duncan quickly joined me.

"I take that as a no," he said. "So, what will become of you and your smitten captain?"

"I honestly cannot say, but I hope he is willing to give us more time to find a solution that will keep us both happy."

"You are truly in love with him, then?"

"I believe I am."

"Hmm. Have you been wearing your pendant?"

"I have." I patted the spot where his gift rested beneath my apron. "I always keep is safe on my person, just as you requested."

"And what of your true love? Will he agree to let you keep it safe? Or will he be jealous that you are wearing another man's gift?"

Without forethought, I traced the outline of the pendant with my finger. What would Jules think of me wearing another man's gift? I didn't need to ponder the question long. He would be angry and hurt. "It will not be an easy conversation, to be sure. Would you not question the propriety if you were in his boots?"

His eyes flashed against the lamp light, which I could not help but interpret as jealousy. Or, perhaps, it was something else. "Indeed, you are not wrong."

"What would you have me do, then? I value the meaning behind this gift, and I do not wish to insult you. But I would understand if you wanted it back."

"No. I want you to have it." His lips curled, and I watched him control his emotions as he struggled to find his next words. "Do you keep an iron safe? For your valuables?"

"There is an iron safe in my home, yes."

"If you must, then put it into the safe when you return home. It will be our secret. Something that will remind you of our time here."

On impulse, I reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. "You have been a good friend, Duncan. And I pray our friendship does not end after we reach London."

"Rest assured, Rose. It will not."

I felt certain he meant what he said, and this comforted me. I left him with the promise that a nurse would bring more medicinals for his pain, and I joined my fellows in the mess cabin while lunch was still warm.

Conversation remained lively for the entire meal. While I would not be so bold to assume most of it centered on me, I heard someone say there was a wager on which of my captains I would sleep with first. Jasmine quickly put that wager to rest by informing everyone within earshot that Captain Boucetta's backside would need to heal before he would see any action.

My afternoon ran as well as could be expected, although one of the men succumbed to a gangrenous wound in his arm, and Matron Orwell was forced to surgically remove the limb. It brought a somber mood upon the entire ship, and by the end of my shift, I was ready to put the matter behind me. I did this by paying a visit to Captain Thompson and sharing some bits we had not advanced yet.

"Your father and sister send their regards," I told him. "Truth be told, they played a significant role in me being here today."

"Is that so? How significant?"

"They ambushed me quite thoroughly. Invited me for dinner, along with a kind and particularly elderly admiral who pulled the necessary strings. Your family seems determined to play matchmaker."

"Indeed? Which elderly admiral pulled these strings?"

"Admiral Pattinson. He also arranged for my audience with the prince regent. Did I mention that I met Prince George?"

His eyes widened with genuine interest. "You did not. How did that go?"

"Exceptionally well, considering that he personally invited me to the winter ball."

He blinked those deep, pensive eyes, which reminded me of a confused owl, and I wondered if I should have left out the part about the personal invitation. Surely, he would not accuse the prince regent of obsessing over me. I hurried on before he could speculate. "I invited our mutual friend, Reginald Saxton, to the gala. We decided he should wear his military uniform, and he made a lovely showing when the prince invited us to his table, although Reggie did behave rather nervously and nearly passed out a time or two."

"You were invited to dine with the prince regent?" His eyes had gone from wide to bulging, and I thought I might lose him to a fainting spell.

"Not dine. He merely wanted to make a spectacle of Reggie and me when he announced that he would be supporting the effort to increase disabled solider pay."

"Oh...well. That is very good news. It seems you achieved what you set out to do. Although, I never had a doubt. You seem to manage most things with relative ease."

There was a moment of silence where I felt sure Jules was second-guessing his desire to pursue our relationship. I knew he was still battling a bruised ego. "Have you done much competitive boxing on the Pelican? Or has it just been training?"

"Both. I have managed to earn a bit of coin from my wins."

A strong temptation to ask if he spent those coins on whores came and went before I had a chance to act on it. A moment later, Colonel Smith arrived at the captain's bedside.

"How are you faring, Captain?" he asked.

"The worst is behind me, Sir."

"Good to hear. Then you won't mind if I borrow Mistress Hayes. There's a bit of business on the upper deck I need her expertise with."

"My expertise, Colonel?" My confusion must have been obvious, as it caused the Colonel to pucker his lips. He hated redundancy. "Whatever it is, I am happy to oblige, Sir."

"You will need your telescope. Find me on deck in five. We need to manage this while the sun is at our backs."

Given the size of the ship, I knew my chances for meeting his expectations were slim. But I was determined to give it my best. I bid Jules a hasty goodbye and hurried to fetch my telescope. I could not say exactly how tardy I was when I arrived at the colonel's side, but he did not seem put out. Rather, he delivered his orders before I had a chance to catch my breath.

"The Pelican is about ready to sail for London, but there are a few areas in the hull that suffered serious breaches. Given that they cannot see the outside of the hull from their vantage, you and I need to search from our vantage." As he spoke, he extended his telescope and pressed it to his eye. "You will be using that keen eye of yours to spot cracks that might cause problems during storm surges. I do not expect we will find all of them, but whatever we find now will keep the hull from compromises later. Are you up for it?"

"Aye, Colonel. I am." I followed his lead, aiming my telescope at the portside hull of the Pelican as the sun's rays spread across the planks like a thick helping of clotted cream.

After a few minutes of searching, the Colonel cleared his throat. "Satisfy my curiosity, if you would, Cadet Hayes."

"Sir?"

"Word around the ship is that you joined us for the sole purpose of retrieving Captain Thompson and saving him from a potentially fatal encounter with our enemy."

I directed my eye at the colonel rather than the Pelican. He was not the type to make small talk. Had he asked me on deck to question me? Would my answer determine the manner in which I would be treated on our return journey? I desperately hoped the truth would not doom me.

"I will admit that I had not entertained the idea of sailing into war on a navy vessel of my own accord. It was not until I was approached by a pair of admirals who made a compelling argument that I consider it."

As I returned to looking through my telescope, he abandoned his to stare at me. "Which admirals are those?"

"They would be admirals Edmund Pattinson and Willis Thompson, Sir."

He grunted an acknowledgement, but I was fairly sure he already knew who had secured my paperwork. He continued his assessment of the Pelican, and I felt the need to explain myself further.

"While Captain Thompson may have been the impetus for my decision to join the crew of the Surety, I fully intended to work in whatever capacity I was needed. I have spent the better part of two decades expanding my knowledge of historical and current events, fine arts and literature, and nearly every topic I am privileged to have access to. I use this knowledge in service to my benefactors and all those I happen to engage with. My experience at sea has been no exception. I have learned a great deal and I am grateful for it."

After this attempt to justify my actions, silence stretched between us. And although I knew the colonel rarely spoke unless a command was needed, I worried I had pushed the boundaries of my cadet status too far. Not that those boundaries had ever stopped me before.

"That seems like a sound way to live," he said finally. "So, you are willing to give up all that – your profession and independent lifestyle – to become an officer's wife?"

"Believe me, the thought frightens me to no end, and I do not frighten easily. I am certain I would not be happy in a traditional wife's role, and the captain knows this."

"Hmm. I wonder how you plan to manage the complications you and your captain have set up for yourselves."

"Like every other obstacle I have overcome, I feel sure there is a way."

He lowered his telescope, and I did the same. When our eyes met, I thought I saw admiration in the way he allowed his lips to lift on one side. "So, it seems it is hubris I recognized after all."