Dear Mother,

Sorry it's taken so long for me to write. I truly didn't know how difficult it is to run a household. I do apologize for daydream consistently and understand the constant frustration you had. You ran our house so smoothly I took it for granted. That's not to say it's going bad here. Not at all, in fact when you visit, I believe you will feel very proud of what I've done so far. I think in these short couple of weeks, I've grown a lot as the lady of the house. But of course Vera, will always have something to say. She runs this place like an army. I'm sure you'll love it. Also mother, I know you're waiting on news. And here it is. I am not with child. I had my monthly. Also, it's going well with Atlas. He is a true gentlemen. I greatly enjoy his presence. Every afternoon tea he takes me for a stroll around the lake. It's simply glorious. I truly enjoy these walks with him. Also mother, I've made a couple acquaintances in the area. There is Lady Worst and it's funny because Atlas calls her the worst but she's very nice, although mighty talkative. There is Lady Helen, she's from France mother and the funniest accent I've ever heard. Although she keeps commenting on how devilishly handsome Atlas is and honestly it's irritating me quite a bit. Lastly there's Lady Clementine, oh she's my favorite. Guess what her husband is 68 years old and reminds me a bit of Lord Worcester. But Lady Clementine has a secret lover a knight that she met 2 years ago and it's just absolutely scandalous. There is so much more to say, but I'll update you in my next letter.

Love,

Marchioness of Shirewest Lavender Worthington (your daughter)

Dear Daisy,

Thank you for the picture, it is completely precious. I miss you so very much sweet sister. I do hope you're staying out of trouble and are following along with your studies. I was a little troubled by the end of your letter. What is this secret you're too scared to speak? You know you can always confide in me. Please Daisy, I hope nobody has hurt you and if they have speak up now. Write me back to alleviate my fear that something so heavy is troubling your beautiful soul.

Love,

Your eldest sister who loves you very very much, sweet child.

Dear Azalea,

Your letter was embarrassingly short, so I shall keep mine as such. My spirits were terrible unsettled when you mentioned a man who you fancy, but can't tell me who. Please do not take this lightly when I tell you be careful Azalea. I know we couldn't be more different you and I, but I love you terribly so. I do not want you to get hurt. Whoever this man is, if his intentions are as pure as you say, why have you not told Uncle or mother? Please, I know you've always wanted to wed, but I don't feel well about this situation. You must tell me at once who he is. And please for the love god little sister, Stay out of trouble. Write me back as soon as you receive my letter.

Love,

Marchioness of Shirewest Lavender Worthington (still you're older sister)

Dear Lizzie,

I wish I could write down my screams at your letter! You my friend are an absolute scandal! The Duke of Jensen is very handsome indeed. I remember the Duchess of Jensen was very lovely and not that much older than us when she passed. How terribly sad she didn't survive child birth. I can't imagine the pain of losing both of them the same night. I still think you should tread lightly my dearest friend. I do not know how your brothers will feel if you were to tell them your interest lie in the Duke. Also is the Duke looking for a wife? I've heard rumors of him saying he would never marry again. But of course those are just rumors. If you love him, please be careful. Take your time. See if he can take you for a stroll. I don't know, you're the mastermind, not me. Oh and Lizzie can you keep an eye on Azalea for me? I'm a bit concerned as to what she's up to since I left the house. I love you very much dear friend! Please write back soon!

Love,

Marchioness of Shirewest Lavender Worthington (your sister )

Satisfied with the letters, Lavender poured the wax and grabbed the seal, Atlas had gifted her two days ago and pressed it in satisfaction.

"My lady..."

"Yes."

Lavender turned as her door was opened just a crack and Atlas poked his head in.

"Are you busy?"

"I just finished my letters. Since you say you don't have any business matters to attend to in the city, I'll hand them to Vera to send."

"Okay...listen uh....stand up, arms out and close your eyes." Atlas instructed.

"Why?" she stood up from her desk.

His grey eyes twinkled. "It's a surprise."

Smiling she stretched out her arms and closed her eyes.

"Okay...." She heard his footsteps approach.

She frowned. Was that heavy breathing? Something soft was placed in her hand, moving around, breathing ridiculously hard. She was going to drop her hands when she felt a soft pressure on her chest and wetness on her chin.

"Arf....arf!"

Lavender opened her eyes. As she gasped loudly. "A puppy!"

The puppy barked again, happily wagging it's tail, it was all hair, literally nothing but long hair. Like the cutest mop she'd ever seen. She couldn't even seen it's eyes. Lavender cried out and laughed as it moved in her arms and licked her chin again.

"Do you like it?" Atlas asked rubbing the puppy's head.

Lavender looked up at him in wonder. "Oh Atlas...it's simply splendid." She looked down at the moving mop of long grey fur.

"It's a Skye terrier. I heard they're great companions." Atlas grinned.

"Oh Atlas...." Lavender took a step towards him and then stopped. She hugged the dog to her chest. Had she been about to give him a kiss? A hug? What? She didn't know herself but she was overfilled with emotions.

But they hadn't kissed since that embarrassing day where she made a fool of herself in his chambers. Also that was the day she'd seen him fully naked. And that image was ingrained in her mind....but like not in a bad way. His body....intrigued her.

Anyways all that was three weeks ago and here they were. She felt like it was a fresh start. Except it was a start without his kissing. She did quite enjoy his kissing. It wasn't like she could ask him for only his kisses. That was ridiculous. She did like his hands too. Oh who cares it didn't matter. He was free to do what it is men do...although he had been home the entire time since he'd came back. She thought men needed it everyday or something.

Apparently it didn't seem like Atlas did.

Maybe he only wanted to have sex once a month.

Once a month wasn't bad.

She wasn't that stupid, she was pretty sure he'd gone to a brothel the last time he'd left. And she had no reason to be envious of where he was or who he was kissing. It was for the best.

She jumped at the snap in her face.

"You're daydreaming." Atlas brought her back to attention.

"Hehehehe...."

"Don't laugh like that." Atlas chuckled. "So what are you going to name him?"

"Why do I get a puppy?" she asked dreamily as she hugged the puppy close and stared up at Atlas.

"Last week you said you've always wanted a puppy." Atlas grinned.

Lavender nodded.

"And maybe you need a little companion....." His voice trailed off. "For those times you need to talk but your mother's too far away...."

Oh that time. "Atlas I didn't mean...."

"No, it's fine." He assured her with a soft smile.

"Hey....Bumblebee..."

"Yeah?" she moved her parasol happily.

"Does me touching you remind you of Lord Campote?"

Lavender stopped and whirled around to him in shock.

"Be-because if---if—it does, I want---I just want to ap-apologize for---making you feel----"

Lavender shook her head. "Uhm....we've been walking for some time no, my Lord?"

Atlas' shoulders dropped. "I don't----forget it...uhm....I don't mean to....look I'm just...I'm just saying if you wanted to talk....I don't know." He bowed his head. "I don't know what I'm saying."

Lavender chewed on her bottom lip. "Thank you." she whispered.

Atlas nodded and exhaled loudly. "Did you want to head back?" He turned and nodded towards the castle.

"Atlas..."

He turned back around slowly.

"I've only ever....talked to my mother if....if I was troubled...." she chuckled sadly. "And even then....that was....sometimes....barely..."

Atlas nodded and stretched out his hand. "Okay." he said simply. "Let's head back."

Grateful that he wasn't going to push it, Lavender accepted his hand with a smile. Her gloved hand entwining with his bigger hand as they walked back.

"So what are we going to name him?" Atlas asked scratching the floppy ears. It turned in Lavender's arm and wagged it's tail excitedly jumping on Atlas's chest and licking his neck.

"Arf! Afr!"

Lavender laughed. "Moppy." she giggled. "I can't even see his eyes."

"Where are his eyes? I might have gotten you an eyeless dog." Atlas whispered.

Lavender laughed as Atlas pulled the dog's hair back. Excited the puppy barked and wagged it's tail. Sticking it's tongue out excitedly.

"Oh he's already like his mama." Atlas joked.

Lavender nudged him and laughed. "There's his eyes!" she exclaimed. "Aww look at those beautiful black eyes!"

"Arf! Arf!" Moppy jumped excitedly as he tried to lick both their faces at the same time and couldn't decide who to focus on. "Arf! Arf!"

Lavender put him down and he ran in circles around their feet and all you could see was just hair. Like an adorable longhaired foot stool.

"Arf! Arf!"

"Oh I think he's happy!" Lavender exclaimed as she bent down to try and catch him.

"I think he is." Atlas agreed, watching her with the puppy.

**

And thus Lord and Lady Worthington had an improvisation to their routine. Moppy slept with Lavender, which helped with her sleep. When she woke up from a nightmare, he was there to lick her face and reassure her. When she couldn't fall asleep, all she had to do was talk to him and pet him until sleep overtook her.

In the morning, Moppy went out with Atlas. Who Lavender found out actually was an early riser and he exercised. Sometimes in the right wing of the house where there was this interesting contraption where he pulled at a resistant string. Sometimes he worked outside depending on his mood. Sometimes shirtless, always sweaty. From her room she could see him with the servants sometimes and was ashamed that she took pleasure in watching him.

And then he came in for his bath at which point, Moppy shuffled back to her room. They all met for breakfast, now with Moppy under the table with his own plate of food, which he ate heartily.

After breakfast they separated. Atlas tending to his affairs, Lavender tending to the house. In the afternoon she hosted afternoon tea or went with the carriage to meet her acquaintances for tea at one of their houses. These afternoon tea sessions was a sort of eye opener for Lavender being surrounded by three gossipy married women.

This is where the notion that men needed sex was confirmed. But these ladies were not afraid to talk about bedroom things that she never would have imagined.

"And then he spanked me. Well, bloody hell, I loved it."

"I dread having Charlie roll his fat belly into my bed. He just lays there and expects me to do all the work. He is lucky he's so rich."

"Well how about you Lady Worthington...any juicy bed secrets about your handsome husband?" Lady Helen smirked. "Don't leave out any details."

Lavender blushed and looked down at her cup of tea.

"Oh Helen, do let her be....she's still a blushing bride. She'll start talking soon enough." Lady Worst patted the youngest wife's leg encouragingly. "For now, she's fine listening to our juicy bits."

Lavender bit down on her bottom lip, grateful for Lady Worst.

"You can't be a blushing bride forever." Lady Helen smiled.

"Well I....." Lady Clementine whispered sensing Lavender's discomfort. "After Charlie fell asleep." The ladies gathered closer, a whisper even amongst themselves was always juicer news. "Got on my horse and met sir Kingsley."

"Oh you absolute devil." Lady Helen grinned. "Say more."

Lady Clementine grabbed Lavender's hand and winked. "Did you ladies know the mouth...is a wonderful thing?"

"Yes, yes kisses." Lady Worst waved her hand. "I'm over them."

"No." Lady Clementine shook her head excitedly. "Not mouth to mouth."

The other three ladies stared in confusion.

"Mouth...." Lady Clementine touched her lips with her finger. "To...." Her finger lowered as the rest of the ladies followed that finger with intense scrutiny. She pointed to her lap.

"NO!" Lady Worst exclaimed.

Lavender gasped.

"I had no idea." Lady Helen whispered thoughtfully.

"And it's heavenly." Lady Clementine moaned. "He was just kissing and licking and....my word, I exploded. So much better than sex."

Lavender blinked rapidly.

"And then what happened?" Lady Helen asked.

"And then." Lady Clementine giggled. "I did the same to him."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Did he like it?" Lavender asked curiously.

The ladies looked at her, and then turned to Lady Clementine.

"Well did he?" Lady Worst asked.

"Like it?" Lady Clementine scoffed. "Ladies I made that man see heaven." she patted her tight curly hair and smirked. "Told me I fucked better than any whore." Lady Clementine patted Lavender's thigh. "If you don't believe me, try it with your husband, you'll see."

Lavender shook her head. "Oh, no....I could never..."

Lady Clementine smiled knowingly. "You say that now Lady Worthington."

Lavender brought her tea to her mouth in embarrassment. Her heart racing. Would he like that? No she could never do that. But better than sex?

She loved her gossip times with the ladies but preferred even more when she was able to host afternoon tea with only Atlas and her. Laughing because he was such an unbelievably funny man. Serving him, being able to look at him. He had hundred of stories. Lavender knew her life was boring but hearing him talk of all the things he saw and did and Scotland, made her realize she hadn't lived at all.

"I would love to visit Scotland."

"You would?" Atlas asked surprised.

"You make it sound amazing." She whispered as she petted Moppy.

"We could go." He nodded. "We have land....maybe later this year. Right before it becomes unbearably hot."

"Really?" she exclaimed.

"But I must warn you. The ship is not a pleasant ride." He said seriously.

"Oh a ship!" Lavander clapped.

"Everybody just.....bbrrraauuuhg....bboooorrgggg.....brrarraaahhhh....everywhere."

Lavender laughed and squeezed her eyes shut as he imitated people vomiting. "Eeewww stop it Atlas! Eeewww!"

Then they would practice the piano. Sitting on the same bench as he instructed her. Sometimes he'll put his hands over hers, his heat transferring through her gloves as he moved her fingers. It was those times that she looked forward to the most. And she was ashamed to admit, most of the mistakes lately were purposeful.

Lavender dropped her hand and smiled up at him. "Mozart?" she joked.

Atlas grimaced. "2 year old child."

Lavender threw her head back and laughed.

And he watched her. Sometimes it seemed as if he would kiss her. And she would hold her breath. But he never did. Most times focusing back on the piano, sometimes saying he needed to return to his paperwork.

And when he left, she wanted him to stay. This feeling inside her, reminded her of the beginning. The airiness...the floating...the palpitations....the want. But it was too late. She knew it was. He no longer seemed to want any sexual interactions with her. That should make her happy right? But it didn't. It didn't and it upset her. She would curse Lord Campote repeatedly in her head. She'd known him for such a short time and yet had caused such damage. She hated him intensely for turning her into a shadow of who she wanted to be.

She'd always wanted a household with a loving husband and kids walking around. Well she had the husband part but now kids? She knew how kids were made. How was she ever to have her future kids if she couldn't let her husband touch below her waist?

But....maybe....since Atlas didn't seem really into it....maybe she could handle once a month? A huge part of her was afraid. Yet another part of her was curious.

Of course Atlas wouldn't hurt her, her heart knew that. The issue was getting her head to answer that also. To not shun away from his touch.

But who cares? Her husband was no longer thinking of sex with her. She put her hand on the piano and played gently. So everything was right....right?

They would meet again for dinner. Then they would sit in his office, read, hear him read, hear her read, play with Moppy. And then they would retire. Lavender carrying Moppy, Atlas going to his chambers. Her warm bath next door would be waiting for her just like she knew that Atlas' was waiting for him too,

And they continued the cycle over again, and over again and over again. It was a comfortable pattern. But lately something felt a little lacking to Lavender.

"Goodnight my Lord."

"My Lady."

His kisses on her hand would be fleeting, she'll think. He'll always wait for her to go to her chambers before going to his. And so she did, and sat on the bed.

"Your bath is ready my lady."

"Thank you Fiona."

And she would take a bath and more times than not, she will think of him. Her mind drifting involuntarily to his naked body. "He's very handsome is he not Moppy?" Lavender whispered.

"Arf!"

Lavender smiled. Was he also thinking of her while in his bath. She giggled and shook her head. Probably not. But what if he was? She could imagine he was. She giggled again and sank beneath the water. She resurfaced and wiped her face. Fiona was going to kill her for getting her hair wet, since she had to braid it in one halo bread every night so she wouldn't get up and have it matted.

She didn't know what possessed her, but she'd been feeling giddy all night. Adventurous. A little mischievous one could say. Besides she was restless in bed. Couldn't fall asleep. Lavender tossed and turned until finally she gave up. Pulling her covers back, she woke up Moppy, who moved his head side to side and then curled back up to sleep on the edge of the bed.

What was she going to do? She didn't know.

She didn't even know what was happening to her right now.

She just knew that she wanted to see him.

And therefore she opened the doors to his chamber. Unlike her, he was a light sleeper.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, the sheets sliding down to reveal his bare abs.

Lavender lifted up her lantern and nodded. "Yes....I just....i can't sleep." she stepped forward. "Can---can I stay here with you for a while."

"Yeah---yeah sure." he patted his bed. "Stay as long as you'd like." she rushed over to his bed and climbed in, putting the lantern to the side.

"Thank you." she whispered, reaching out and turning of the lantern.

He chuckled and laid back down. She followed suit. He stared at the ceiling, while she stared at him until her eyes felt heavy and she fell asleep.

Now Lavender was a creature of habit. Which meant she did it the next night.

"I felt scared....everytime you would try and lift my skirt." Lavender whispered as Atlas held himself perfectly still like he did the night before and stared at the ceiling.

This time he turned his head to her voice.

Maybe she'd gotten the courage because the lights were off and it was dark and I made her feel like she was talking to a shadow.

"That's the only---only time, I remember Campote. It's not---not as vivid, but still feels uncomfortable....dirty."

Atlas nodded.

And then the night after that.

"And when you...when you tried to climb on top of me....he'd done that...and it feels like....like I'm trapped."

"If he wasn't already dead, I would kill him again." Atlas' low voice whispered into the dark.

"I don't want to think about him." Lavender whispered.

And then the next night after that.

"They talk about sex a lot."

"Who? The afternoon tea gossip club?"

Lavender giggled softly.

"They make it seem nice." she whispered. "I lie and say we have tons of sex."

"You say that?"

"Yes. It makes Lady Helen rage with jealousy."

And then the night after that.

"You haven't had sex since you came back."

Atlas was silent for a couple long seconds. "You knew I had sex?"

"I assumed." Lavender admitted. "Are you going to go find a brothel soon?"

She heard his sigh in the dark.

"I don't know." He whispered.

"I don't want you to...." she whispered very faintly.

Atlas moved his head to the sound of her voice.

And the night after that.

"Lady Helen says her husband wanks off a lot when she's on her monthlies." Lavender whispered close to his ear. "Do you do that?"

"Wank off?"

"Yes."

".....yes." He took a deep breath and shifted in the bed.

"What do you do?"

He moved again slightly in the bed. "I....hold....touch....like....uh....rub myself."

Lavender heard the sound of the sheets moving and swallowed hard. Her lips brushed against his ear. "Can I see?"

She didn't know if he'd heard her because Atlas neither moved nor spoke. She waited at the longest silence they'd had in bed so far.

"Sorry. I don't have to see." she whispered after a full two minutes of silence. "I was just curious."

Atlas moved in the bed and reached over to light his lantern. He sat up, his palms supporting his upper body.

He looked down at her with those smoky grey eyes of his. His pupils dilated. Her eyes drifted down his toned abs to his lower half covered by the covers. Atlas slowly pulled back the cover and the sheet revealed a tent created by his dick.

Breathing a little harder than usual, Atlas slipped his hand under the sheet. Lavender watched his hand move up and down slowly underneath the sheets.

This entire time, he'd been sleeping naked and she had no idea.

She took a deep breath and looked up. Atlas was staring right back at her. His eyes were so intense she had to look down. She had to look down and watch. To see what he was doing. How he was achieving pleasure.

And it did something to her.

Watching his hand movements speed up, his breathing accelerating, his soft groans. Lavender watched unable to look away. A couple minutes passes as her body reacted. Her sex pulsating, her nipples hardening, brushing against her nightgown.

"God...." Atlas moaned.

Lavender looked up. He was watching her. This entire time, his eyes had never left her. His face contorted as if in pain.

"Are you okay."

Atlas stared at her mouth, his own opening as he groaned.

"Ah...ah....ah....fuck....." his eyes squeezed shut. "Oh.....god....." he gasped. Jerking slightly. His hands under the sheet slowing drastically.

Lavender felt a trickle of wetness, between her thighs.

Atlas laid against the headboard and panted as he finally opened his eyes. He turned to look at his wife and chuckled lazily. "You're going to be the death of me." He whispered lazily.

Lavender watched as he turned to the side, still holding himself. He got out the bed, his white muscled ass walked towards the chair. His back was to her as he grabbed a shirt and cleaned himself up.

He turned around and her eyes immediately, without hesitation as if she'd been waiting for it, zoned down to his dick. It still looked erect to her. Not as hard set as it'd been the first time she'd seen it, but definitely not limp. Atlas came over to the bed and climbed back in. Once again looking at her.

"That was....intriguing to watch." She whispered.

Atlas leaned towards her, his eyes drifting to her mouth.

Lavender held her breath.

He stopped himself and pulled back. "It was intriguing having you watch." he chuckled almost shyly. He reached out and turned off the lamp. She could hear him settling back under the covers.

After a couple seconds, she heard his soft chuckle again.

"What?" She whispered.

"I've never done that bumblebee." He responded honestly. "touched myself in front of a lady until I came, without touching her."

For some reason that made her feel proud. "I do what I can."

They both fell into a comfortable silence. Lavender turned on her back to stare up at the ceiling like Atlas did every night. His hand brushed hers under the sheets and she smiled. They hooked their index fingers together for a couple seconds before moving them again and spreading their fingers and locking them, in a tight hold.

"Bumblebee?"

"Yes?" her eyes took in the intricate design of the ceiling.

"Thank you for marrying me."

Lavender lowered her eyes and turned her head to him in wonder. Her heart immediately feeling like it had tripled in size.

"You looked so beautiful walking down that aisle." He continued. "I've always found you beautiful." he squeezed her hand gently. "And you're kind and sweet and perfectly splendid, while I have all these demons I keep locked away from the rest of the world." his whisper continued into the night. "You make me want to be....better."

Atlas moved his head to the side to look at her, even though he couldn't see her. But that was okay. Maybe that's why he was able to talk. "I'm sorry you were hurt bumblebee. I wish I knew how to take your pain away."

Lavender moved closer to his warmth, dislodging her hand from his, she wrapped her arm around his waist. She closed her eyes and laid her head on his chest. She could feel the rise and fall of it. She could hear his heart beat.

Atlas' arms came around her and he hugged her tight. "I will never let anybody hurt you again." he whispered emotionally pressing his cheek against her hair.

Lavender's warm tears hit his chest, but he simply hugged her tighter. "I love you." He whispered into her hair.

Lavender lifted her head, cupped his face and kissed him hard. Her lips finding his in the dark without hesitation as if she'd studied every part of his face and could make him out in the dark.

Atlas's thumb trembled as he caressed her cheek and pulled back slightly in shock.

Lavender simply lowered her head, letting his lips touch her forehead. She closed her eyes and sighed. "I've always loved you Atlas." She whispered. "Always."