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Chapter Ten

The Capitol was rushing toward me all too soon. I thought I'd feel some sort of relief at the sight of my home, but instead anxiety tugged at my heart. I'd never approached the Capitol from such an angle before. The trainline leading into the Capitol was reserved for the Tribute train once a year, and carried supplies for the rest. But now, I was seeing it from the way twenty-four terrified children saw it every year.

There's no denying the splendor of the city. It stretches out with miles of beautiful high rise buildings, situated by the glistening lake that the train runs through. It was so much cleaner and richer than any of the Districts could ever hope to be.

And yet then it seemed like a cold place, as though its sparkling exterior was simply a facade to hide the dirt beneath. I thought of the things I'd seen in the Capitol that were never talked about - the poverty in the poorer areas, the crazy things people would do for money, the wealthy always looking down on those less fortunate than themselves. And then, crazier still, I was entering my own city where the citizens there would cheer for my death and bet on my demise.

That was supposedly normality.

I moved away from the window, suddenly feeling nauseous. I'd been on the train for hours and for a while, it felt like I could just sit back and enjoy it. But by then, the reality of where I was heading was sinking in. I'd become too relaxed, falling back on my old Capitol ways of pretending I was untouchable. The kind of attitude that would get me killed in the arena.

I knew there would be a lot to do when I arrived, and I tried to prepare myself for a day of preparation. I'd be taken to the remake centre at least, which was a relief to me considering the state of my hair. I moved to the mirror in my bathroom and ran my hand over it. I wasn't opposed to the shortness of my hair at all. In fact, I quite liked the tight, dark curls that pressed close to my scalp. The cut itself was terrible, though. It was patchy and unkempt. I didn't look like I came from the Capitol anymore. I knew that was the intention, but I couldn't wait to let a stylist fix what President Snow's lackey did to me.

My issue was I was still caught up in wanting to look perfect. I'd been raised to desire beauty and youth over almost all else. There was a time when I'd walk into a room and be sought after for my clothes, my looks, my wealth, my personality. Staring back at myself in that mirror, basically dressed in rags, I felt I'd lost all those things. I hated myself for feeling that way when there were much bigger issues, but I was built for bigger and better things.

But then again, I thought, maybe some other District kids on the train were too. Maybe if they'd been given half the chance they'd be made for something wonderful too. I forced myself to look away from the mirror. I was no better than anybody else speeding toward the Capitol, and I had to stop thinking that way. My determination to be noticed and to be the centre of attention, sickened me in the days that followed. I really was a creature of the Capitol, and I no longer knew what to make of that.

The train began to slow and I headed back to the dining cart to look out of the window. Decimus was standing on his toes trying to get a better look. Valeria was standing beside him protectively, but I headed over anyway. I patted Decimus on the shoulder.

"You want a better look?"

He nodded eagerly and I let him clamber onto my back so he could see over my head out of the window. I could feel Valeria watching me, wondering what to make of me. She, like everyone else, was waiting for me to show my true colours. She was trying to figure out if me being nice to Decimus was some kind of ploy. But I made a decision then to follow my gut. Drew had advised me to blend into the background, to hide my talents, to simply disappear. But it was in my nature to shine, and I knew that was what I'd do, even with a shorn head and a bruised body.

I'd already decided to be a winner.

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