After Whizzer got killed by the Duolingo owl, Cordelia and Cordelia killed Mendel and Marvin, Whizzer died again, Charlotte killed Cordelia AND Trina, Jason had a heart attack, Charlotte and Whizzer went to jail, broke out, and Charlotte died, the family all decided that they needed a vacation.

Marvin packed up the car early in the morning, and all six of them crammed themselves into the seats (Charlotte was, sadly, still dead). Nobody knew where they were going— Trina thought they were going to a hotel, and Whizzer thought they were going to Florida. Mendel thought Marvin was going to drive them off a cliff and was currently hatching an escape plan.

"Are we almost there?" Cordelia asked. "It's been four hours."

Marvin glanced at her in the rearview mirror. "Just be patient, Cordelia. You said you wanted to get away, right? This campsite is far, far away."

"Campsite?!" exclaimed Mendel, but it was too late. His escape plan was in action; the side door opened and he tumbled out of the car. Everybody screamed as they watched him roll away— and even more when they realized they were crossing a bridge.

Trina slammed his door shut, and all of them sat in silence. Marvin continued to drive and drive. Jason woke up from his nap a few minutes later. He looked around and asked, "Where's Mendel?" Trina started to cry.

"Why didn't you just tell us we were going camping?" Whizzer asked.

Marvin shrugged, feeling slightly guilty— if he had, maybe Mendel would still be there with them. "I wanted it to be a surprise."

"We've had enough surprises!"

The car ride seemed like forever, but finally they reached the campsite. Nobody was really in the mood anymore, but Marvin was determined to have a nice vacation. He got Jason and Trina to help him pitch the tents while Whizzer and Cordelia started a campfire.

Then Marvin decided it was time for dinner. "Jason, go and get the hot dogs from the trunk," he ordered. Jason sighed and stomped over to the car. He was already done with this trip.

"Are we all just going to pretend like everything's okay after what happened to Mendel?" Cordelia asked incredulously.

"Where are the hot dogs?" Jason called. Marvin ran over and started digging though the trunk. He became more and more panicked as each second passed, before he swept everything onto the ground.

Trina sat down by the fire and put her face in her hands. "Don't tell me you forgot to pack them," she muttered.

"I can't believe it," Marvin said. "Those were our only source of food. And now we're stranded. We're going to starve to death!"

"We could always drive back," suggested Whizzer, but Marvin pretended not to hear him.

It was a very gloomy night for the tight-knit family. They were getting hungry and they knew one of them was going to have to scavenge for food, but nobody wanted to do it.

"I think Marvin should go because he got us into this mess," Whizzer said bitterly.

Trina nodded. "Me, too. It's his fault my husband is dead."

"Nobody knows he's dead for sure," interjected Marvin. "Lots of people fall off of bridges and live!"

But everybody cast their vote on him, and so her agreed to go into the woods and look for something to eat. It was already dark by then, so Cordelia let him use her flashlight.

He heard the rest of them talking amongst themselves as he ventured into the forest. Eventually, he couldn't hear anything from the campsite at all, not even the fire crackling. The only plants he'd found were either poisonous or dead, and there were no animals to hunt anywhere.

At least, he didn't think there were. But he heard a twig snap behind him— and then the sound of breathing. Marvin tried to remember the rules of kosher butchering as he slowly turned around, but then he realized it wasn't an animal after all.

This deep into the woods, nobody could hear him scream.

Back at the campsite, their fire had gone out and the four of them were huddling together in their sleeping bags for warmth. They were miserable.

"Do you guys just want to go home?" Trina asked, looking around. Marvin had left his keys. If they started the car now, they would be home by three in the morning.

"We have to wait for Dad," Jason begged. "He's going to bring us all food. He wouldn't lie to us!"

"He told me he was straight for ten years," his mother replied under her breath. But they stayed put.

More time passed, but Marvin still didn't return. Whizzer shimmied out of his sleeping bag and stood up. "You know what? I'm going to look for him."

"Fine. But don't eat all the food before you get back," Cordelia told him.

And so Whizzer disappeared into the woods just as Marvin had before. He was gone for only a few minutes before they heard the snap of a twig and an ear-piercing scream.

Trina jumped up. "What was that?" she demanded.

"Whizzer?" cried Cordelia.

Jason had fallen asleep, since he never got to finish his nap in the car. Trina carried him over to one of the tents and put him safely inside.

"Should we go investigate?" Cordelia whispered, appearing over her shoulder.

Trina looked toward the forest doubtfully. "We don't have a flashlight..."

"Neither did Whizzer."

"Oh, and Whizzer's fine!?"

Cordelia pondered this for a moment, then rushed over to the fire pit, picking up a stick and the extra box of matches Marvin had accidentally packed instead of the hot dogs. In a short while, she had her own makeshift torch.

"Perfect," said Trina. "Let's go."

They wandered through the forest, lighting the way with their torch, but they found nothing; no Whizzer, no Marvin, and no food. Finally, they made their way back to the campsite, right before the fire went out.

Trina tossed the burnt stick aside and grabbed Marvin's car keys. "I don't feel safe here at all. Why don't we wake Jason up and go home?"

Cordelia nodded, so they both went over to Jason's tent— and discovered that he wasn't there.

Cordelia's face went pale. "Are you sure this is the one you put him in?"

"Maybe he moved," Trina whispered back. They checked the other tents, but no luck. She could deal with her ex and his boyfriend disappearing in the woods— even her own husband falling off a bridge. But she wasn't leaving without her son.

"JASON!" Trina cried, her voice echoing around the campsite. "WHERE ARE YOU?"

"It's hopeless, Trina," sighed Cordelia. She knelt down and started feeling around for the matches, trying to light another fire.

"I wish we had just stayed at home," the exhausted mother groaned. "Why did we even come on this awful trip?"

"You'll feel better once we get a fire going," Cordelia tried to assure her.

"I'll feel better once I get my family back."

Cordelia struck a match and threw it into the fire pit. The fire lit up the campsite, revealing a face emerging from the woods. Both of the women screamed at the sight. This wasn't Marvin. This wasn't Whizzer. And it wasn't Jason. It was...

"Charlotte?" Cordelia gasped. "What on earth are you doing here! I thought you died at Jason's other bar mitzvah!"

"I did what I had to do," Charlotte replied ominously. Then she began to fade away. Cordelia tried to grab her hand, but it was gone with the rest of her.

"What does that mean?" she sobbed, kneeling by the fire. Trina patted her awkwardly on the shoulder in an attempt to console her. They sat there for what seemed like hours, perhaps waiting for Charlotte to reappear, or for both of them to wake up from this horrible dream.

There was the sound of rustling in the bushes, but it didn't come from where Charlotte had been— it came from the opposite side of the campsite. They both whirled around as the figure stumbled into the firelight.

"T...Trina..." a hoarse voice said. It was Mendel! They could hardly recognize him; he was still soaked from the river, and covered in dirt and leaves he had picked up on the way.

"Mendel!" She got up, leaving Cordelia alone, to reunite with her husband. Marvin was right! He wasn't dead after all. She leaned in to give him a kiss, but stopped when she smelled the dirt on his breath. "Let's go to the lake and get you cleaned off."

"What about Charlotte and Marvin and Whizzer and Jason?" Cordelia asked through her tears. The couple didn't even hear her, as they were already leading the way to the beach. She stood up and followed them, not wanting to be left at the campsite.

She sat with Trina by the shore, watching the waves come and go, almost reaching their feet. Mendel was behind them, picking the leaves off of his body.

"I'm sorry that your girlfriend disappeared," Trina told her. "I hope she comes back."

"Thanks. I hope you find your son."

"At least we got Mendel back," Trina sighed, glancing over her shoulder. But Mendel was gone. "Mendel? Hello?"

Cordelia looked back, and then at Trina, before the two hurried to their feet. "Back to the campsite! Get the keys! Go, go, go!"

They got to the car as quickly as they could and drove off, leaving the tents, sleeping bags, and matches behind.

Meanwhile, Mendel was approaching a figure in the middle of the forest. He placed a hand on her shoulder, and she turned around, startled, but relaxed when she saw his face.

"Oh, it's just you," said Charlotte. "I thought you would never come back."

"Did you get them?" he asked, to which she nodded. "Will they ever find them again?" She shook her head. "Perfect."

Marvin had scared him earlier. Whizzer had taken his place as Jason's favourite stepdad. And Jason hadn't cried when he fell off the bridge. It was only natural for him to get revenge.

"Nice doing business with you," she replied, reaching out to shake his hand. They both headed off in opposite directions, twigs snapping under their feet as they walked away.

(To be continued...probably)