Authors' Note:

Lets just say I was inspired by crappytaxidermy.com

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Varmint #1 was getting ready to go pick up his date, Varmint #2, for the barn raising at Varmint #5s' place. He put on his little red strappy things which I assume is some sort of posture thing, brushed his fur, grabbed the flowers he had gotten for Varmint #2 and headed out the door. He got into his Little Red Automobile and drove to Varmint #2's house to pick her up.

It was a short ride to her house. She only lived 10 blocks away, so he really didn't need to drive. But it's impolite to make your date walk to your house, and he enjoyed showing off his automobile.
 He cruised down the lane, at a slow, comfortable speed. Just cruising along, listening to some Frank Sinatra. Like the cool varmints do.

When he finally pulled up to Varmint #2s' house, and on time, miraculously enough, he hopped out and ran up to the door. He knocked three times and waited. He could hear scurrying inside the house and then the door was opened. It was Varmint #2, and boy, did she look nice. She had on a beautiful little gold necklace with red flowers hanging from it, matching earrings, and a darling little bow in her hair. She was gorgeous.

Varmint #1 handed Varmint #2 the red flowers he had gotten her. She blushed lightly, although he could not tell because he couldn't see her skin under her fur, and sniffed them. She gave a small smile. "They're lurvely--"

I bet you thought you were gonna find out their names, but guess what?

", Varmint #1." She said, in her sweet little southern belle accent. "I'm gonna put them in some water and then I'll be right back, okay?" She said and scurried off to the kitchen. He stayed outside, knowing it's not in good manners to go inside a woman's house when it's just you and her and no one else. She could spread rumors, others might talk. You never know, so it's better off he just waited outside. After a few minutes she appeared at the front door. He looked so nice. She looked down, trying to hide her smile which made her seem very cute to him. Varmint #1 put out his arm and she took it, looping her arm around his. They started down the walk and he opened the automobile door for her. She gave a small curtsy as a thank you and got in. After he made sure she was all the way in the car, he closed the door and walked over to his side of the car. He opened his door and got in. Varmint #1 pulled out of the driveway and into the street, looking back to make sure there was no one behind him--

What about seat belts you say?
 Well, in this time there were no seat belts, people simply knew to be careful when driving. I think that since cars were fairly new they were more aware of the fact they were in control of a big metal object that was going 55 mph at another big metal object and so they were more careful than people are today. Also, people are more reckless today cause they figure "Well, even if I hit them, they've got a seat belt on and insurance, they'll be fine. And if they don't have a seat belt on that's just their own fault ain't it?" People put too much faith in seat belts. Seriously, they've done studies on it and most drivers put WAY too much faith in seat belts. Anyways, back to the story.

Suddenly a gray feline with eyes that looked as though they'd been made from shattered glass appeared. The car came to a screeching halt. "Oh, my word!" Varmint #2 exclaimed, upon seeing the monstrous thing. "Holy mother of meat." Varmint #1 said in a very serious tone. "What in heavens' name is that?" He said.

The feline looked down at them, tilting his a little. "Why, hello~" It purred, looking down at them. It crouched down and began to move closer, striking fury into the hearts of the two little varmints. Varmint #1 reached for the gun he kept in his glove-box, when there was a yell from where the feline had originally come from. "Yee haw!"

Varmint #1 and Varmint #2 looked at what appeared to be Varmint #4 riding a snake. "I finally found you, Feline #1!" Varmint #4 yelled triumphantly. "Prepare to die!" He said with a hearty laugh. Varmint #4 pulled out a gun and shot at Feline #1. One went through Feline #1s' right ear. Feline #1 hissed and laid it's ears back flat. "Varmint #4, you son of a gun." Feline #1 said, with a sneer. "I'll have your hide!" And with that Feline #1 leapt at Varmint #4, claws out. Luckily, Varmint #4 dodged just in time and continued to shoot at the feline. "Take that, you mud eating bottom-feeder!" He bellowed, mightily.

Varmint #2 looked at Varmint #1 with a slightly worried expression. "Maybe we should get going," She said, "wouldn't want to be late after all." Varmint #1 nodded. "Okay." He said, and with the smell of burnt rubber the car sped under the fight going on between Varmint #4 and Feline #1 and off to the barn raising.

Once they got to the barn raising they were greeted by Varmint #5 after Varmint #1 had gotten out of the car , opened the door for his lady, and closed it once she'd gotten out. "Why, hello! Glad you two could make it!" Varmint #5 said. Varmint #1 smiled. "Always a pleasure." He said. "Where do I put this?" Varmint #2 said, holding up pie she'd brought with. It smelled heavenly. "Smells good as per.  And right over there." Varmint #5 said, gesturing to a table across the lawn. "Why, thank you." She said and headed over.

Things went well, people talked, socialized, sang, dance and children played. Until the barn raising came. The men formed up into teams of 6 and set to work. The first team to get their side up would win 3 rabbits. "Two for breeding, one for a meal" is what Varmint #1 kept in mind as he worked diligently with his fellow team members, trying to get their wall up fastest. Finally they had their side up first. They were sent to the side to wait until everyone else had finished. Which happened decently fast, which was nice because Varmint #1 had a dentist appointment later that day.

Just before they were about to hand the rabbits over, Feline #1 showed up, being chased by Varmint #4. There were screams as people began to scatter, lost children calling for their parents in the commotion of it all. Most of the people had scattered before Feline #1 was finally down, having had Varmint #4s' snake bite it a few times

After the commotion, Varmints began to come out of their hiding places. Varmint #1 approached Varmint #5. "So, uh, seeing as the other ran off, does that mean I get the rabbits?"

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I think that's a good ending point. Just leave a little cliff hanger of "Does he get the rabbits?" "Where's Varmint #2?"

Hope you all enjoyed it! Have fun.