Happiness is a state of mind, that has nothing to do with external world

- Gita Shlok

Subhadra kept walking aimlessly to those dark and empty roads of Indraprasth. Unlike every day the illusionary city is eerily quiet today. Some howling of wolves and crying of wild dogs can be heard from the jungle outside the city but this weird and uncomfortable night doesn't have any effect on the broken Dwarka princess. She has so many questions going in her mind. She is fighting a very bad battle with her own concise. She heard the temple bell from Gauri-Shankar temple outskirts of the city. Her feet that have a mind of their own dragged her towards the temple. The priest's sleep got disturbed by the jingling of her anklets. He was shocked to see the divine princess at the doorstep of the temple, not in her complete senses. He decided not to disturb her and let her inside the temple as this time at night it's not safe for her to leave outside. She just sits outside the door of the temple leaning to the wall without a word.

 Back in the palace eyes of Dwarkadheesh fluttered open a bitter smile formed on his lips. Meanwhile, the third Pandav was pacing in his room waiting impatiently for his beloved wife. She is his whole world no matter however sad he is one sight of her and his smile returned to him. The theory of the people is true she has wrapped him around her small finger. She is the one who brings him peace and solace and today he needed them the most but the center of his universe is nowhere to be found. Lastly, he can't hold himself and left in search of her. He reached the common only to find Pratima informing his Madhav about his Subha's leaving the palace alone hours ago and there is no news of her till now. He felt everything blacking out for a while. No his concise screamed at him; he can't fail twice in a single day. First, he was feeling guilty to not protect their common wife from insult but no not his Subha. He can't lose her; he doesn't know what he will do without her. He comes in his sense noticing Krishna leaving the palace worried.

"Madhav wait I will come with you"

"Fine Arjun come fast let me bring the chariot" Krishna replied blankly. He gets shocked hearing Krishna to address him as Arjun instead of Paarth but he composed himself as this is not the right time to ponder over this. Both men left hurriedly to find a part of their soul. The silence of the city made them worried about Subhadra's safety. Unable to find her in the whole city Arjun gets worried. Lastly, they decide to check the temple only to find her sitting devastated. Their heart broke a little more looking at her state.

"Bhadre what are you doing here alone at this hour? No matter whatever the matter is you know you can always come to your brother right. I know Dau is not here but I am still here my lovely sister." Krishna asked emotionally sitting beside her.

"Why? Why we only?" She asked in a hollow voice.

"Destiny and purpose I have only these two things to say to your sister. Even Mahakal can't escape the wheel of time we have to play our roles no matters how much it hurts us." Krishna answered her sadly.

"So this is our roles and purpose then fine I will pack mine and Abhi's thing....."

"You both are not coming. I don't want both of you to live such a life. I want the best for both of you. I took this decision while returning from Hastinapur. This punishment is for us not for you. I don't want to ruin your lives. So as much as this decision will pain you, you both are not coming. I want you to promise me to stay behind and look after yourself and your kids." Arjun spoke cutting her midway.

"Well being, decision. Nobody cares to ask me anything again. How does it matters even what Subhadra thinks but don't worry like any other promise I will fulfill this also. This Yadav Kanya Subhadra and Subhadra Nandan Abhimanyu will show their faces to all of you after the completion of your 13 years of exile, not a single day before. I guess we should return I have to check up on kids." She stated before leaving the temple premise alone. Both the men shivered at the coldness in her voice. She was colder than Ice. For the first time, Arjun realized that she is much more than a beautiful and soft-spoken princess while Krishna being aware of her true form decided to let her be.

"Madhav Subhadra" Arjun spoke in a surprised tone.

"She is fine Arjun just give her some time. We should leave now." Krishna replied moving towards his chariot.

Meanwhile, in the palace, Subhadra nandan entered the chamber of Panchal kumari. Panchali cooled down after her talk with her Sakha and then she heard the vows of her Arya Bheem. A small hand clutched her right hand and when she turned to look there stood her piece of heart with teary eyes and quivering lips fighting very hard to stop himself from crying out aloud. Panchali embraced the kid and pecked his head while fresh hot tears brimmed in her eyes. Abhimanyu was the apple of her eyes. She always claimed he was supposed to be her child but Subhadra gave birth to him and always Subhadra gave a smile and said he is her child. Abhimanyu grew up to be his Badi Maa's baby, Panchali's warrior baby. While the five kids of Panchali grew under the affection of their Choti Maa.

Panchali picked up the kid and hold her tightly close to her heart. This 3-year baby is unaware of the devastation going around him. He only knew that his Badi ma is sad.

"Badi ma don't be sad. I promise I will be big like father and beat all of them who made you cry." The little child promised his life to avenge the fire born.

Panchali felt pride bubbling up in her heart when she heard her little warrior promising to avenge her insult.

"May Narayan bless you with all the skills Putra. May you grow up to be a valorous warrior more than your father" She blessed him heartily.

Abhimanyu snuggled into his Badi Maa. Unaware that he's going to miss her for 13 long years.

                        ************

After reaching the palace Subhadra directly went towards Draupadi's room fully aware that her son can only be found there. Subhadra entered her sister's chamber to see her Jiji sitting down with her son's head on Panchali's lap. Subhadra kept her hand on Panchali's shoulder which brought the queen out of her thoughts. She lifted her son and placed him on the bed and covered him.

Draupadi and Subhadra sat down on the couch that was the only thing after the bed that survived amidst the destruction Panchali caused a few hours back. There was an eerie silence in the room. Draupadi started in a slow voice "I felt dead Subhu. I feel dead now too. What was my fault?" Draupadi started in a slow voice

Subhadra did not reply she wanted her Jiji to speak up, she surely talked with her brother and now is in a composed state. But at the end of the day, Jiji was a woman and her brother a man. The pain Draupadi was going through, she cannot share it with her Sakha but when Subhadra sat down beside her with her hand clasped around her hand she poured out all her heart out.

Subhadra did not let her tears fall. She did not wipe the tears that were streaming down from the eyes of her sister. She just listened.

"One game Subhu it changed our entire lives? What about our children? We're going to the forest for the exile will they live the life of a forest dweller? No, I won't let my children live anything less than a Prince. I have decided that they will go to Panchal with Dhri."

"You're going to the forest Jiji. I'm staying back. I promised Arya I can't leave the kids and come to the forest. So you don't have to send them to Panchal they will come to Dwarka with me." Subhadra spoke for the first time.

Draupadi was shocked. Which woman stays back when her husband leaves for exile? She knows how much her little sister loves her Arya Arjun. The fact that Subhadra is willing to stay back and accepting the separation from her husband for 13 years for the kids increased the love and respect Panchali has for the Yadav Kanya. She understood now why the mighty Gandivdhari got smitten by this simple girl. Sabyasachi could never stay away from his wife. Panchali always wondered why Arya Arjun always searched for Subhadra he would not voice out the fact that he is searching for his wife but Panchali can see the way his eyes used to search for her and how they used to light up when he sees his woman entering that chamber or the dining hall. Arjun went to exile just after their marriage he married twice; Panchali never said anything because she knew that her place in his heart is above the other two wives of Arjun. But when the marriage of Arjun and Subhadra reached the Queen of Indraprasth she delt insecure. The reasons behind her insecurity were the famous talk about the illusionary beauty of the princess of Dwarka and in what circumstances their marriage happened. Now a warrior would not kidnap a princess for a political alliance, right? That one step confirmed how head over heels Savyasaachi loved Subhadra. Who was Panchali kidding with? That enchantress impressed her in one conversation and became her sister the same day she entered the city which she ruled. But she knew why Arjun asked her to stay back he can't see her as the state of forest-dweller fighting for survival everyday and she is somehow relieved that her kids would get the love of a mother behind her back. Subhadra shakes her little to bring her out of the trance.

"My decision would remain the same Subha. I do not doubt that you will love them more than me but I want them to be warriors like their fathers. For that, they need to learn discipline and no one can do it better than my father. He will train them keeping all the relations aside. They will come to Dwarka from time to time to spend time with you. Now go and sleep it's late night and let little warrior stay with me tonight" Draupadi stated in a strong yet broken voice. With this Subhadra left the room with a heavy heart mentally preparing her for the upcoming 13 years. Kissing Abhi's head holding him close to her heart Draupadi fell asleep one last time in her disheveled and destroyed chamber.

                         **********

Subhadra entered her chamber with a stoic face and saw her husband sitting on the bed with slumped shoulders and lowered head. Arjun lifted his head when he felt her presence and there stood his wife with an expressionless face looking at him with a blank look. There he understood he failed as a husband of all his wives. He abandoned Uloopi and Chitrangadha due to his vow as well as their kingdoms but he was in an illusion that he was succeeding with his eldest as well as the youngest wives but he failed the eldest in that wretched sabha and the youngest in his palace.

"You did not sleep yet, Prince Arjun? You need to leave early in the morning before sunrise isn't it?" Subhadra spoke in a glaze voice.

Arjun pulled Subhadra into a hug and then let his tears flow. Subhadra remains rooted at her place unfazed but later gave up and clutched onto her husband treasuring the moment so that she can survive for 13 years.

Arjun lay down while Subhadra caressed his hair "How will I live without you near me love?" Asked Paarth in a broken voice

"In hope of meeting again this time for forever. Whenever you remember me Arya remembers I'm waiting for you to come out after the 13th year. Don't worry, I will make sure our son gets all the qualities of you and your brothers." Subhadra answered in a brave voice bringing some soul back
in the mighty third Pandav.

                           ********

The sun rose the next day lightening up the world except for the palace of Indraprasth which despite the light outside remained in eternal darkness. Nobody slept properly last night Subhadra wakes up and went to the room of the uppandavas only to find them sleeping. Subhadra looked at the sleeping form of four children with all the affection she can muster up from her bruised heart. Her gaze shifted towards the eldest uppandavas Prativindhya who was sitting with a lowered head. Subhadra went towards the kid who was a replica of his father with the lively nature of his mother too.

Prativindhya looked up with glassy eyes when he felt a warm hand on his head to see his Choti maa standing. He just buried his head in Subhadra's stomach while his hands encircled his choti ma and started sobbing. Subhadra just patted the kid's head while her dam of tears broke too but she did not make any sound. Subhadra pulled Prati apart and kneeled in front of him she did not care to wipe her tears nor did she wipe her son's tears.

"Choti Maa will Mata and Pitashree go away to the forest now? Will, we do not meet again? Will they take us to the forest with them?" asked the kid in a chocked voice.

"Yes they'll leave to the forest but you and your brothers are not going to go with them.

"Will you go with them too?" Asked the kid in a small scared voice

Subhadra held his hands and nodded in a no.

"No baccha I'll not leave you and go. Your Choti Maa cannot live without you."

Partivindhya lied down while placing his head on his Choti Maa's lap. Meanwhile, the other four woke up and hug her.

"Choti Maa is my father responsible for everything like everyone said? Is he wrong?" Prati asked in a low voice.

"We don't know Son. Every person has his own story he may be right at his place and wrong in the eyes of the world. You'll understand what's wrong and what's right when you grow up. Now come freshen up and get ready you all will go with your uncle Dhri to Panchal but don't worry we will meet soon. We have got a long day ahead promise me you all will not cry and will always stand with each other?"

"We promise Choti Maa but promise me you'll not leave me and go with them and we will meet soon," asked the kids in unison.

"I promise now get up fast and come I cooked your favorite breakfast." She answered to cheer up the kids. After breakfast, it was the time for the goodbyes. Krishna bereft of his charming smile stood with a solemn expression Dhristadyumna was burning in rage and sadness. Subhadra was standing in a corner with a stoic face. While the kids were clung to her like she is their life source. The Pandavas and Panchali entered the hall in aesthetic attires with Draupadi's open hair dangling down like lush black snakes. Dhristadyumna flinched at the blood clotted bruises on his sister's hands and forehead.

Defeated Dhristadyumna turned his attention towards his sister and asked in a tired voice "Will you also have to go and live like some forest dweller now? Come to Panchal and stay with us with the kids Draupadi."

"Bhrata I can understand your concern and I'm thankful for that but now I'm bound by my Patni dharma of not abandoning my husbands. The place where my husband's stay will be my home for the next 13 years also and for the rest of my life too" were the exact words the fire born spoke.

Dhristadyumna threw his bands in the air seeing the 6 stubborn people in front of him.

"Bhrata please take care of my children and make sure they get proper guidance and lesson in their life. Also, train them into valorous warriors and take them to Dwarka from time to time so that they got the love of a family." Yagyaseni asked for a promise from her brother which he gave with a broken heart.

Dhristadyumna nodded in assurance.

Draupadi walked to the corner where Subhadra was standing "I don't have to ask you to take of my kids Subha because I know they'll get all the love and affection they deserve I'm sure I cannot give that but you will. But please take care of Abhimanyu he was never away from me he's delicate. Assure him that his Badi maa irrespective of the place loves him so much. You'll say that to him, right? Make sure they won't forget us. Don't scold my little warrior too much and take care of you."

"Of course Jijii your kids will know who their parents are. Also, I'll make sure he grows up to fulfill his promise." Subhadra replied in a broken voice.

The sisters shared a hug and then the fire born embraces her six children asking them to take care and not trouble anyone.

They nodded and took blessings from their fathers. The whole family stood at the threshold of the palace looking at each other. No one wants to leave but this separation was necessary.

"Madhav Subha and Abhi." Arjun just says this in an uncertain voice.

"Don't worry I will take care of them and your son will be the greatest of all. He will learn from the best and surpass you in fame. He will have the quality of all of you five." Krishna promised his Paarth.

In all this, Arjun kept looking at his wife's face trying to fit this in his concise fully aware that he won't see that lovely face again for 13 years. They started walking down the lane when the citizens blocked their path and started crying asking their Samrat and Samragyi and the Rajkumars to not leave them and go. The Brahmans requested Dharmaraj to accept their refuge and take them also with them to whichever corner of the world they're going. The whole troupe started moving further slowly disappearing from the eyesight of the nine royal members who were standing at the same spot. The kids clutched their mother to get some warmth while Subhadra also brought them close towards herself to make her heart understand that these little munchkins are her source of life, light, and inspiration to move forward in life. 

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