Chapter Three

The next time everyone needed to be in pairs for photography class, Eva and Cathy immediately gravitated towards each other. No questions asked and no awkward stumbling. They just both knew that for some reason, they worked well together.

This time they were in search of photos featuring the colour red and Eva was just about done with the entire course altogether.

"Is she trying to go through the whole rainbow?" Eva asked Cathy as they wandered down a completely empty hallway apart from a few students coming and going from classes.

Cathy just shrugged. "I don't really mind. It's better than a really hard assignment...or a hard colour."

Eva laughed. "Yeah, trying to find periwinkle in this school could be a bit of a challenge."

Cathy nodded and messed around with the buttons on the camera for a few moments. Eva stopped reading all the posters on the wall and looked over at her. Cathy wasn't actually doing anything to the camera, she just stood there, sliding the zoom back and forth and running her fingertip over the indents of the buttons.

"Are you okay?" Eva eventually asked.

Cathy looked away from the camera and dropped her arm down.

"I'm fine," Cathy said and gave a little smile.

Eva nodded slowly and they began walking down the hallway again. They snapped a few pictures of red lockers and a pair of red flat shoes that had been left beside someone's bag outside the gym doors. It was only when they went outside of the school and scoured the student parking lot that Cathy spoke again.

"Actually," she began, "there is something. You know about the website, don't you?"

Eva stopped walking and turned towards the other girl who stared back at her apprehensively. The weather had warmed up a little with a post-winter sun shining down with glaring beams. But there Cathy was, bundled up in a large hoodie that went past her waist and a thick scarf around her neck. A girl who probably didn't realize the whole school was laughing at her because of something as simple as the clothes she wore.

"Yes," Eva said. "Yes, I know about it."

Cathy closed her eyes briefly before slowly opening them back up. "A lot of people have seen it, haven't they?"

Eva's chest tightened sharply and she wanted to immediately be rid of the uncomfortable feeling that consumed her.

They've done more than just look at it, Cathy, Eva thought, they've shared it, talked about it, sneered over it, laughed about it and someone out there is posting it.

"Cathy, nearly everyone in the school has seen it by now," Eva said quietly.

Cathy bit her lip. "It updates every day, at nine minutes past ten. I know that because I sit at my desk every night and I watch it until two new posts have shown up. And I read them," Cathy's voice turned quieter. "Like an idiot, I read them."

Cathy looked up and caught Eva's eyes and the latter was shocked into surprise when she saw the tears welling up in Cathy's eyes. None fell. They just stayed there, locked away behind her dark lashes.

Eva let out a shaky breath and took a step forward. "Cathy...if you've seen the site then why haven't you told anyone? Have you at least told your parents?"

Cathy huffed out an amused laugh and with a quick movement, swiped a finger over her cheek. "They won't listen, Eva."

"You can't know that for sure," she said.

"Yes I can," Cathy sighed. "My dad cheated on my mom and they're getting a divorce. My dad doesn't even live in my house anymore. They have enough to deal with without adding the fact that their daughter is being teased by some stupid high school kids."

"This is more than just being teased," Eva pushed. "They've made a whole website and they're posting two new things every single day. That's not kids messing around, that's bullying, it's tormenting-"

"Just leave it," Cathy whispered.

"It's damaging," Eva finished. "You know what's happening is wrong."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Cathy asked. "Am I supposed to somehow fix this? Stand up to it? It's a website, Eva. I don't even know who it is!"

Eva's argument faltered and she closed her mouth, looking briefly to the ground. "There has to be something..."

"Stuff like this happens everyday," Cathy said. "This isn't the first time someone's decided to push me around a bit. Wait it out long enough and eventually it goes away."

Cathy spoke with a strong voice, as if she really didn't care. But Eva could still see the tears in her eyes. The tears she was stubborn enough to keep inside and not show anyone.

"You shouldn't have to settle for that," Eva pointed out.

Cathy shrugged. "That's just how it is. Now come on, we need to find something red."

***

Later that Friday, Eva found herself on Carmen's school bus with Taryn and Natasha. The four girls had planned to stay at Carmen's overnight. The three of them had planned it and Eva was added onto the end. Carmen's house was a deceivingly small bungalow that had a huge basement that was all furnished. Eva knew she would probably not be leaving the basement for the majority of the sleepover.

Everyone put their bags down on the floor in the basement and Eva stared at the television because no matter how many times she saw it, the size was never going to feel normal to her. No TV should be as tall as a human.

"Okay so," Carmen began, "My parents are leaving at six so we'll just order in pizzas and have them delivered. You guys pick what you want to watch first."

Two movies in and Carmen's parents were out the door without even saying goodbye though Carmen didn't seem to show much care. Eva sat in the armchair in the corner of the room and constantly worried over the volume of the TV. She kept thinking that the neighbours must be hearing it and complaining to each other. She just wanted everyone to look away for a second so she could knock the volume a few bars down and keep some of her dignity intact.

It also didn't help that the movie had copious amounts of screaming in it.

Eva didn't know who thought it was a genius idea to always watch horror movies during sleepovers but she wanted to fight whoever did. The one thing Eva couldn't stand was watching a serial killer go walking through an abandoned cabin as if that was some divine form of entertainment.

She looked over at her friends and all of them were enraptured by the giant screen. All three of them were scoffing down handfuls of popcorn and candy. Eva kind of wanted some popcorn but because it was on the coffee table in the middle of the room, she couldn't reach it from the side where she was sat. So that would mean getting up and seeing as Eva's chair was extremely creaky, causing unnecessary attention wasn't worth the popcorn.

Carmen stretched her arms over her head when the credits started rolling.

"I should probably go order pizza," she said and stood up. "Is pepperoni okay?"

Everyone nodded and Carmen wandered off and after a minute, her voice could be heard from upstairs making the order.

All the lights in the basement were switched off so when the credits started rolling over a black screen, barely anything could be seen. Eva hated moments like this. Did no one have a lamp or a light in the corner of the room to just quickly put on? Could no one put the bathroom light on and leave the door open a little? She wasn't afraid of the dark but after watching two movies about killer creatures coming from the shadows, any dark corner was capable of harbouring a paranormal being in her mind.

Twenty minutes later the doorbell rang and Eva's skeleton practically jumped out of her body.

"Pizza's here!" Carmen chirped and Eva had never been more thankful when the main light came on and the smell of food drifted into the room.

Luckily the next few movies weren't about flesh-eating demons and Eva could relax for a few moments. She actually managed to get into the conversation which was a surprise given that she almost never knew who they were talking about. And for once, she felt like she was on stable ground with her friends and that maybe she wasn't the awkward outsider she always thought she was.

Later on, Eva's eyes were stinging and all she wanted was to sleep.

"Man, this week must have been long because I'm actually tired," Taryn commented.

"Same," Eva agreed and lifted her head to look at the clock on the TV before groaning. "And it's only ten."

Carmen suddenly clapped her hands and Taryn and Eva jumped but Natasha was too invested in her phone. Carmen was about to talk but Natasha frowned suddenly and looked over at her.

"Can I use your laptop quickly?" Natasha asked, cutting Carmen off. "The assignment I emailed my teacher didn't send right."

Carmen nodded. "Yeah of course. I'll go grab it and then warm up some pizza. Anyone else want some?"

"I could devour some pizza," Taryn yawned and Eva nodded.

The three of them made their way upstairs as Natasha stayed downstairs to send her assignment. Eva nursed a bottle of pop and took leisurely sips of the fizz to wake her up. All it did was make her eyes water. Carmen warmed up the leftover pizza and dished it out on plates.

Taryn kept her word and practically inhaled three slices before Carmen took her plate away and rolled her eyes. "What's Natasha doing? She's been ages. Eva, can you go get her before Taryn eats everything she can see?"

Eva nodded and left as Taryn said something in return and the two began to quarrel. She made her way down the stairs and into the TV room that had the menu playing on repeat on the screen. With the way the couch was angled and Natasha's position on it, she had her back to Eva as she walked over so she hadn't seen her yet.

"Hey Tasha, the pizza-" Eva stopped talking immediately when she saw the computer screen and Natasha turned around, eyes a little wide and tilted the screen down. "Why do you have Cathy's website up?"

Natasha looked at Eva for a moment before shrugging. "Just checking it."

"Checking it?" Eva raised her eyebrows. "That's very thoughtful of you."

Natasha sighed and tilted the screen of the laptop back up. She turned her body around so she was facing Eva and patted the place beside her on the couch. Eva walked over slowly and took a seat, looking down at the screen. Natasha took a deep breath and gave Eva a little smile.

"Look," she said.

Eva frowned but did so. Though all she could see was the familiar website, blue background, bold white text and the daily posts going down the middle. She was about to say she could see nothing different but then she looked in the top left hand corner of the screen where one option was that Eva never had.

Edit.

"You can edit the website," Eva breathed and she looked over at Natasha to see her looking at the website with amusement before she turned to Eva and laughed.

She laughed.

"It's neat, right?" Natasha asked. "I mean I never really thought that I'd make a whole website but man, it felt great."

"It felt great?" Eva asked.

"Yeah," Natasha shrugged. "Makes you feel powerful."

"Wait so...you made the website?" Eva asked and Natasha nodded. "But you pretended like you knew nothing about it. You, you acted like you'd never seen it before."

"Obviously," Natasha scoffed. "I don't want people to actually know it's me."

"But then why would you do it?"

"Like I said, feels good," Natasha said. "And people love it."

"Well how do you know all those things about Cathy, then?" Eva asked.

"We went to the same elementary school," Natasha said. "And also, our little secret, most of them aren't actually true. Well I mean they're not confirmed but let's be honest most of them could very well be true. I just added a little imagination to it and might have told a few lies about her."

"You lied about it?" Eva asked. "How could you do that to someone?"

"Whoa," Natasha laughed. "Slow down there. It's just a bit of fun. A joke. Stop looking so deep into it, there's no harm being done."

But there was harm being done. Eva had seen it on Cathy's face. She read all of those posts, she sat there and waited for them to be uploaded and she cried. Eva knew she cried. Even if she wouldn't in public, there must have been a point when those tears finally leave her eyes.

"Oh, better get these up quick," Natasha muttered to herself.

Eva furrowed her brows in confusion and looked to the clock on the TV.

10:09

"Just in time," Natasha smiled and switched the laptop off, closing the lid and sitting it on the floor. "Look, Eva, just don't think too hard about it. It's a bit of fun, that's all."

Natasha got up and straightened the pillows.

"Oh, did you say the pizza was ready?" Natasha asked and Eva nodded numbly. "Perfect, I'll see you up there," she walked towards the door and stopped at the stairs. "And Eva? Don't tell anyone it's me, yeah? Our secret."

Natasha turned away and walked up the stairs where the sound of conversation followed afterwards. Eva sat on the couch and watched the clock move to a new minute. Cathy would be there, sitting in front of her computer. She would be reading the new posts about her. The lies about her.

The lies one of her own friends had created.

***

The tight feeling was back. That uncomfortable, churning clamp on her chest. Eva didn't like the feeling, it made her seem weak and fragile. She gritted her teeth and tried to will it away but all the way through dinner she still felt it, that nagging at the back of her mind. She sat through dinner on Saturday, the day that her family usually came together and actually spent time together but she couldn't even bring herself to hold a conversation.

Everything was numb and blank and all she could focus on was the suffocating feeling in her chest.

It wasn't until after dinner, when her mom was grabbing a drink of water from the kitchen, that she finally started speaking.

"Can I talk to you about something?" Eva asked her mom.

"Of course you can," her mom said. "You never need to ask."

"I just...it's harder for me to talk about," Eva admitted.

Her mom nodded and motioned to the now empty dining table.

"Okay," her mom said. "That's fine. Sit down and take your time."

They both took a seat beside each other on the table and Eva's stomach dropped. The feeling was still there, strong and burning. It felt like it was clawing its way up her throat. Eva closed her eyes and took in a breath before opening them back up.

"Mom, I don't know what to do," Eva said.

Her mom frowned. "Well what is it? What's happened?"

Eva sighed. "I...I know something and no one else does. And that something is hurting someone else and I don't know if I should do something about it or leave it to keep going on or-"

"Eva," her mom said softly. "Stop talking in riddles. You know you can tell me anything. I won't judge you."

Eva stopped mumbling and looked at the wood of the table, every little indent and scratch and pencil mark. Her eyes trailed over each and every one until her eyes were suddenly full of tears, welling up and staying there.

"There's a girl," Eva said quietly, "and she's being bullied and I saw it happen. I'm the only one who knows who's bullying her. And I've done nothing about it. I just sat there and watched. I even laughed once. And I'm still just sitting and watching and I don't know what to do. She won't help herself, she says it isn't worth it but it will just keep happening to her and the pain in my chest will just keep getting worse..."

"Eva," her mom said gently and held her shoulders. "Eva, I know this is hard. And I know this can be stressful. But if you're the only one who knows who's bullying her, then you might be the only one that can truly help her."

"But she doesn't want to be helped," Eva whispered.

"Just because that's what she's said doesn't mean that's what she wants," her mom said. "If you're getting worried and chewed up over this, imagine how she's feeling right now. Knowing that someone is actively attacking her and she doesn't know how to stop it. Or that she's too afraid to stop it. You have a chance to help her and it isn't easy, you know that. But think of it this way, if someone saw your sister getting bullied would you want them to do anything in their power to help her or would you be okay with just letting them pretend it never happened?"

"I'd want them to do anything in their power," Eva said as a few tears finally broke through.

"So do that," her mom said. "And it can't come from me. It has to be you, a peer, someone that she can see as a friend, an ally. She needs that right now."

Eva nodded. "I wish there was an easy way out."

"There is," Eva's mom said. "The easy way is to just keep watching like a bystander until eventually it slows down. But remember, the bystanders are just as bad as the bullies because when they have the chance to help, they don't. And every time they keep watching, they're saying yes, this is okay and I agree that what's happening is fine. Don't be like that, Eva."

Eva shook her head slowly. "It's not okay."

Her mom smiled at her sadly and rubbed her shoulder. "And do you know what that pain in your chest is?"

"What?" Eva asked.

"Guilt."