These are all my poems of my mother currently. I wrote them and I decided to finally compile them together. These are pieces of poetry I wrote in times of despair. These are not all my favorite pieces, but they were written in the true pain.

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I am not the same person I once was. I used to be a size 7 shoe but now I have fallen into a 6 and half sometimes smaller, but you never knew. I stuff my shoes with socks to not hurt your feelings, and I stretch out my clothes so my bust and waist fit without worry. You look at me as the young child, stupid, naive, docile. You yell at me when I break out of the shell, placing me in a smaller cage, smaller place so I can't grow any bigger. I feel my body cramped, my bones growing back into the joints. I scream in agony, but she doesn't care any more.

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If I was a doe, would you shoot me in my side? Would you drag me to your truck, dig in my flesh to remove the bullet in my thigh? Am I just meat to you? Am I just to be consumed?

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A child with an empty heart will grow to have no more room to spare. Adapt and squeeze down to feel full within their despair. I will take half a spoon full of love and slurp it up selfishly and the hand who feeds will slap me, telling me to act gracefully. Bow your head child, listen to what they say. Lay on the floor, don't let them see your tears fall away. Covered in blankets, I must not feel vulnerable. When you grow with an angry soul in your home, must it always be one inside your own?

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Disgusting dog. You tell me I stink. You tell me I am dirty. But I am not allowed to shower. I scrub my skin in your flowers, but you scream at me for ruining your garden. I just wanted you to adore me again.

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My owner is volatile. She is loud one minute, silent the other. She hates me, she loves me, she tells me she wishes I didn't make it. She locked me in cage, told me I am hers I will do what she says. I don't react. I don't whine. I don't do anything but curl up in the corner and listen to her cries. She is angry I don't bark. But she removed my teeth one by one at 16. She made sure I was broken enough to not notice a thing. Now she threatens to cut up my favorite toys in front of me. I will wail in my cage tonight. It will be kicked in the morning.

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Everything I eat tastes good when I am starving. I devour your love, I need it, I need it now. You were cold but I was freezing. You felt warm to my iced soul. But you were winter as well, just a different shade, just a different day.

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I am my father daughter, I will let things fall upon me. I am my mother's daughter I will bite at the hands who feed me. I am my father's daughter I don't care if it hurts me. I am my mother's daughter I will hurt me.

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I hate that you don't love what I am. I hate that it's affected me as well. I hate that I don't love who I am. I hate that I'll never live with peace if I don't heal.

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What made you hate me? Was it the fact I was independent? Or the fact I wasn't your clone? I loved you like a faithful hound. You loved me like I'd be here forever. But now I am fading. And you are angry at me for my existence being boring.

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I begged you to love me, and instead you bit me until I bled. I am bleeding now. I am freshly cut, freshly hurt, they see and they look right through. "She hit me first" yet I did not. I am the child, I am the young, I am hiding, I am shaking. They don't believe me. They leave me in this home.
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