Disclaimer:
NOT SUITABLE FOR READERS UNDER 18.
This content is not suitable for readers aged below 18. This book contains depictions of sexual abuse (non descriptive), trauma, mental abuse, and graphic descriptions of (consensual) sex scenes in later part of the book. Reader's discretion is advised. The book adheres to all Wattpad guidelines, and doesn't promote drug and substance abuse, physical abuse, or poor mental health.

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Prologue

My mother stood there by the island. Dad’s with her. Mom looks happy. Her dress is pretty. My mom is very pretty! She pressed herself against dad, hugging him close. Dad lifted her up, on the island. I want to be there too… But I do nothing. I stand on the other side of the window that opens into the living room. I peeked, standing on my toes. Aunt Rice said I must not walk into mum and dad. They are all adults, so I decided I would listen to them anyway. I am told they all mean well.

I sat on my haunches on the living room floor. I feel funny in my stomach. I want to laugh, and be happy. But mom said I am not supposed to. I must not make noise... I heard the door creak open. Mum found me. She didn't look happy about it. Her eyes shot me a glare, and I ran to my room. My room. My room was very pretty too. It was like a doll house close to the stairs. My new dad painted it pink. Its walls were as pretty as my doll’s house. I had a doll house in my room. And I have all kinds of dolls.

The dad before my new dad had my room painted purple. I tried to tell mom I didn't like them. My new dad is good. He listens to me. Well, he doesn't really listen to me, but he listens to my mom. I like him for the most part. He makes mom happy. And I like it when mom is happy. When mom is happy, she doesn't find ways to make me sad. She listens to music on the player, and stays in her bedroom. He stays with her in the bedroom too. Aunt says they are so much in love. Which is why they married… Though, Aunt says that a lot. My old dad was in love with my mom too. But then, I guess people grow out of love. I don't want mom to grow out of love with me. She stays with me, because she loves me, right? But then I make her cross often. She told me to not go out, and to find her. And now, she will come for me…

The bedroom door flung open. I was hiding underneath my sheets. I am afraid I have made her upset again. She told me not to be too happy about the whole thing. When I get too happy, I ruin things. I don't want to ruin things for mom. I want her to be happy! I clutched onto the sheets.

“Out of the sheets, little devil,” I heard him.

It was the new dad. I relaxed, peeking from underneath. Mum wasn't there with him. Did he put her to sleep? The thought worried me. My old dad went to sleep. And then, mum and I didn't see him again. I don't like sleeping. But then, if I didn't sleep, mum would get angry. So, despite the bad and scary dreams I got, I slept. Just not that night when my old dad went to sleep. I heard screams from his room. But then my old dad screamed a lot, anyway!

“What are you upto, get out now,” he pulled the sheets from above. I looked at him, and a smile curved up on my lips. He had the Pastor’s eyes. Grey, or something, and they looked so kind. He had small lines drawing out from the corner of his eyes. His hair was the same as mine. Maybe, that's why we got along fine, unlike my old dad. My new dad sat on the edge of the bed. He extended his arm to give me the bar. He brought me chocolate! I love chocolates. I part my lips to say thank you, but mom doesn't like it when I talk; so I nod and smile.

“Go ahead, and have it. We don't have the whole day!” He said, still grinning.

The wrapper was already torn open. I looked at the bar, and wondered if this one would taste as good as the one he brought me yesterday? Well, I was not supposed to tell mom. She would tell me if they were the same thing. I don't read much, you see. I haven't been to school. People freak out when they see me. That's what mum said. I was different. My new dad told me I was special. He was really nice. Did I tell you, I really like my new dad? I couldn't wait to get a bite of the chocolate. I broke a piece from the bar and bit into it. It was the same one he got me last week. I wanted to save some for later, but I was afraid he would stop bringing them if I didn't eat it in front of him. So, I had it all.

“There you go, attagirl!” He smiled. He looked blurry and lanky, still on the edge of my bed. I was worried, my vision problems were coming back. I didn't want to be like that. I didn't tell mom. But I was sure something was wrong with my eyes. Aunt Rice says, people get uhlurgeec to certain things. But Aunt Rice says lots of stuff that I do not understand.

“Now, lie down on your back, and go to sleep?”

Sleep? I don't like sleeping. Is he putting me to sleep? I want to scream. My mom’s stern eyes stop my thoughts. Sleeping is bad. I don't wanna sleep. I try hard to not sleep… but then the world spins around me. I need mom. Aunt Rice. Anyone. I don't want to sleep. But then, my eyes shut themselves tight.

“There… This won't hurt at all,” I heard him say. And then, I could feel the world close on me. Sleeping is scary.