I shut my eyes, waiting for an impact that never comes. It takes me a moment to realize that I haven't fallen to my death, a moment to feel the warm hands grasping my arms, pulling me up. My shoulders scream, my feet scrabbling against the side of the wall.

My foot snags against a brick, allowing me to push up. My arms are over the side of the wall now, elbows scraping against the stone in my effort. Muscles screaming, I throw myself forwards until I am sprawled on the top of the wall. 

My breaths come in great heaves and I take a moment to orient myself, pushing myself to my hands and knees. 

I'm alive. Somehow, I'm alive. 

I smile in relief. 

"Are you alright?" My savior's voice is soft and concerned and I recognize it immediately.

Leopold.

"I'm fine," I say, keeping my face lowered towards the ground. "Thank you for that."

From under the rim of my cap, I can see the smile on his face, the dimples in his cheeks. He gives a little bow, sweeping his cloak around his slender frame.

I feel the blood rising to my face in shame. This is the second time in the past two days that a man has had to catch me from falling. First it was Silas in that tree. Now it's Leopold here.

My life is like a really bad novel and it sort of makes me want to rip my hair out.

"I do have to ask," Leopold says, hand scrubbing at his cheek. "Why are you leaving the castle?"

For a moment, I think that he recognizes me. 

Is that such a bad thing? I wonder if I should tell him the truth of who I am or if I should pretend to be someone I'm not. Making a decision I know I'll probably regret, I rip the cap of my head.

My braid falls down my back and I lift my chin, standing my ground. Leo just stares at me for a second, and I can see exactly the moment when he realizes who he is looking at.

"Evelynne? What are you doing out here?"

I wonder when he started calling me by my first name. It doesn't bother me. I climb to my feet, brushing the dirt of the knees of my pants and straightening up. I come up to his shoulders and I have to look up to see into his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I have to leave," I say to him, turning to face away from him.

Leo runs a hand through his hair, the copper curls sticking up at odd places. I want to reach up and brush them back into place, run my fingers over the worry lines on his forehead. My heart flutters and I squeeze my eyes shut to push the images away.

When I open them again, Leopold is standing next to me, leaning precariously over the wall. His shoulder brushes my own.

"You want to leave the castle," he says.

It is not a question, but I nod in response, not wanting to speak the words aloud.

"I wish you wouldn't go, my lady," he says to me.

"I have no reason to stay."

I look across the other side of the wall and into the city below us, my heart aching.

I don't normally see the city I live in, and I have never seen it at this time of night. It's beautiful, a quiet peace coming over the houses that are shrouded in thick shadows. The moonlight is weak, illuminating the tops of the buildings, casting cheerful but diluted light in the streets.

Somewhere in the distance a dog barks. The night breeze brushes my face with its cool touch.

I live here, yet I have never truly known this place. The fact that I have to leave it so soon finally hits me.

I don't want to go.

My whole life I have lived under my father's influence, under his violent protection. And suddenly, when I have the perfect chance to break free, I can't.

I turn to Leo, unashamed at the tears in my eyes. "I can't..."

"You can stay, Evelynne!" His voice is encouraging. "You are strong and brave and I know you can find a way to put a stop to this that isn't running!"

He thinks I am talking about staying, when actually now I know the truth.

I can't leave.

The world beyond the wall is too much. Too new. Too terrifying.

I have built a cage for myself.

"I want to go so badly," I say to him after the silence stretches out into minutes.

He nods, sitting down, legs dangling over the wall. His face is turned up towards the moon and his eyes reflect the brilliance of the stars. I sit down right next to him, close enough for our hands to brush next to each other.

"You know, when I first saw you I thought you were one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen," Leopold says with a laugh.

I press my hands to my eyes, trying to scrub the tears away before they fall. My hands are trembling.

"You were rude and cold to everyone at that feast, but for some reason, I couldn't help but admire you."

I want him to stop talking. Yet a part of me wants him to continue.

"Stop," I say, but my voice is weak and the word gets stuck in my throat.

"As I got to know you better, I realized who you were and I fell in love with your personality, too. You're brave and good and kind," he says. 

"That's not... That's not true," I choke out.

The words my father has always told me are running through my head.

Worthless. 

Weak.

Unwanted.

"It is true, Evelynne," he says, and there is something sad in his voice. "When that man was killed, you stood up. You stood up for what you believed in and what is right. I think that was the bravest thing I have ever seen."

He takes one of my hands, rubbing his thumb over my palm, green eyes watching my every expression. I let his words wash over me, let them drown out my father's voice. 

I want to believe him so badly, want to listen to the truth that is etched on his face and reflected in his voice. I barely know this man, yet I am inclined to trust him. He could reach over right now and with one small shove, push me off the wall and to my death. Yet I am not afraid.

He doesn't continue, letting me gather my thoughts and try to make sense of what my life has become. I let him hold my hand as we sit. 

"Where are you from?" I ask him once I've stopped crying, my voice cracking.

He takes the change of subject in stride, allowing me to wipe away the last of my tears without any comment.

"I'm from here, actually," His voice has the sing-song quality of someone telling a story. "The son of a wealthy nobleman. I live in the south."

The south is close to the ocean. I've never seen an ocean before. I wonder if the night sky is as beautiful there as it is here.

"What are you doing on the castle wall?" I ask him.

It isn't that odd that he is here. Most of the noblemen have explored every inch of the castle grounds, from the tops of the walls to the depths of the dungeon. At first I didn't understand why until I heard one of the men talking about how excited he was to renovate one of the sitting rooms into a personal office. 

I remember the way that man stared up into the sky as he lay in a pool of his own blood. He was one of the men that was killed yesterday.

"I wanted to look at the city," Leo says, feet kicking a steady rhythm against the stone wall. "I live in such a different place. I just wanted to watch."

"I understand that," I respond. There are many times where I will sit in a tree in the courtyard just to watch the servants run by. 

I want to ask him why he's still here, sitting with me on this wall. I want to ask him what prompted him to come all this way. I want to ask him to tell me a story about who he is, about where he's from. 

But we just sit together watching the stars, two strangers discovering more about each other in silence than one ever could in spoken word.

He walks me back to the castle, hand brushing against the bare skin of my arm. When we reach the side of the castle I turn to face him.

"Thank you for talking with me," I say.

Leo just grins. "Don't mention it."

 He gives a gentle nod of his head, almost a bow. The smile on his face drops away, his forehead creasing.

"Listen, Evelynne..." he says. "I know that it hurts to watch people die. I can't even imagine what it must feel like."

I don't look at him, don't say anything to him. I just stand there with the weight of the world on my shoulders, with the weight of everything I have seen pressing down until it's hard to breathe.

"I think you're strong, Ev." My nickname slips off his lips as naturally as if we were best friends. "I think that you can stand up to the king. You don't need to run away from him."

"Thank you," I say. His words ring clearly like midnight bells. I turn to enter the castle again, but before I can, he grabs my hand, raising it to his lips. My skin is warm, the back of my hand burning where he pressed his lips. 

I watch him walk away, feeling calm and sure. 

Now I know what I must do.

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to have a conversation with my father.

Rose is sitting on the bed when I step into the room. A candle burns faint light on the windowsill, flickering in the soft wind. The warm glow sends long shadows dancing across the floor. 

She looks up at the sound of the door clicking open. When she sees my face her eyes clench shut. I can see a tear leaking down her nose.

"You're back," she says.

"Yeah." 

The reply is inadequate, but I am not quite sure how to respond. So I just sit next to her on the bed, still wearing my black pants and shirt, my cap clutched in the hand that still burns from Leopold's kiss.

 Rose's hair smells like a freshly bloomed flower.

"Did you get caught?" Her shoulder presses against my own.

"Sort of," I say. "Leopold saved me from falling off the wall."

"And then forced you to stay?" she asks, voice biting.

I forget that she doesn't know Leo very well, so she automatically jumps to the conclusion that he is in it for his own personal gain. But after tonight, I know that is not true.

"No, he didn't force me to do anything. I couldn't bring myself to leave," I say, feeling ashamed. 

I don't tell her the reason why I can't go.

I don't tell her my fathers voice still echoes in my head.

I couldn't leave because I knew the words he said were true, because I knew if I tried, I would be worth nothing. The thought scares me more than I care to admit.

"I feel guilty... but I'm glad you're back," Rose says, with a smile. She stands, going over to my wardrobe and shuffling around inside, pulling out a nightgown and laying it on my bed.

For a moment, it feels like a normal night, as if I hadn't just tried to leave, as if none of the events of the past few weeks had ever happened.

"I'm glad I'm back too," I respond, all the while feeling guilty that I actually am.

In the distance, a dog howls. Beyond the wall, life goes on.