~ Chapter 34: Get high. ~

(Hey guys! So, a little warning here, you should not do drugs, it’s bad blahblahblah you all know the speech. I'm not saying it's ok by putting in Damon's bucket list, this is ficition. Alright that's it, don't forget to vote/comment! ;) )

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Throughout all this happiness and craziness that had become my life (except for the Damon dying part), with all the bucket list stuff we had checked, all the cities we had traveled to, every fear we had conquered, on this Sunday morning, I suddenly felt the urge to write again. I had left my beloved characters on a suspense and I needed to find an ending to their story, to my story. Let them rest in peace, as one might say.

We all got back from the Reunion Island four days later, Damon and I happily fake-married and still on our honey-moon phase (what I mean by that is that we spent most of our time having crazy sex in bed), Seth and Jenny on their “honey-moon phase”, all sweet and caring about each other, it was strange and unexpected to see from both of them.

Damon was still sleeping when I went downstairs with my computer and opened Word for the first time in what seemed like a while, when it hadn’t been really that long. Had it? I couldn’t even remember. I needed this little time alone. To think and gets my thoughts in order. Try to understand the reality of the situation. I had been trying to do so for so long those past few months but nothing was working.

So I escaped. In this imaginary and alternative world I had created. I took the place of Nina, the main character and made her pregnant of her second child in the end, because everybody deserves a happy ending, right?

But I wouldn’t get one and I knew that. It’s not like it was a surprise, everything had been laid on the table from the very beginning, I had signed and agreed to the Terms and Conditions of this relationship and I didn’t regret for the world. I just needed more time. An eternity. Just one more year.

“Hey! You’re up early.” Jenny stated before yawning and sitting next to me, an hour later.

“I wanted to sit and write.”

“Oh. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Everything. Timing. I don’t know. I’m getting kind of… nostalgic all of a sudden.”

Jenny took my hand and told me to look her in the eyes. It was about to become the “serious and honest minute”.

“Leah, I know that you’re in love with Damon like crazy, but sweetie, trust me when I tell you this, your best years aren’t behind you. Many people, like me, think that we don’t have just one soul mate. Otherwise it would be impossible to find him. Imagine if yours was in Tibet and you couldn’t even know it so you wouldn’t meet him your entire life. This isn’t the way life works. You’ll find someone you’ll learn to love, which doesn’t mean he’ll replace Damon, you’ll always have that… void in your heart. But you’ll get through it and you still have amazing things ahead of you. Your bucket list isn’t complete.”

“I know.”

Nobody could guess Jenny was this wise sometimes when they first met her. She hugged me then tiptoed to the kitchen to make coffee. I finished writing all I had in my head then went back upstairs to wake Damon up. Tonight we had that dinner with his family and I was really nervous about it, even if I kept it to myself since I knew it was surely worse for Damon. It was going to be an emotional evening.

I closed my laptop and went upstairs. Damon was still lying in my bed, his eyes closed, curled up, his fist clenching a pillow. He was sweating so I guessed he was probably in pain again. I saw tears falling from his eyes. I rushed next to him and held one of his hands.

“Do you need a pill? Can I do something?”

I was already on the verge of crying too. He was breathing heavily.

“Pill.” He whispered between two breaths.

I rushed to the little orange bottle and made him swallow the medicine with a glass of water. It took thirty minutes for him to finally exhale and for the pain to pass. I wiped the tears I hadn’t been able to contain and hugged him tight, feeling his breathing returning to normal on my neck.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“It’s ok. Don’t apologize.”

“Maybe… Maybe I should go home. Stay with my parents for… the rest of the time I’ve got.”

I pulled away from his embrace.

“What?”

“Leah… I love you so much and I can see how much this is hurting you. I don’t want that anymore. What if I just go to my parents’ and we Skype when I feel good? That way, you won’t have to see me… like this, anymore.”

“No! Damon, this is crazy. I want to be there for you for every minute you have left. I love you. I don’t want to be apart from you. I want to be able to kiss you and touch you and wipe the tears away from your eyes and calm you…”

He put a strand of my hair behind my ear.

“Let’s see what we have left on the Bucket list ok?” I said, to close the conversation.

I got up and took the notebook before bringing it to bed. We still had some things we hadn’t checked.

“I think we can check those two.” Damon remarked, pointing at Fall deeply in love -- helplessly and unconditionally and Find the love of my life.

I kissed him before doing so and adding a little heart next to them.

“Let’s go to New York. We have to See Times Square at Night and the Gospel in Harlem.” Damon proposed.

“Ok. We could spend the week-end there, leave tonight after the dinner with your mom or tomorrow morning. It’s only three hours away.”

“Shit, I had forgotten about that dinner.”

“I know you don’t really want to go but your parents really want to see you…”

“I know. I’m glad you’ll be there with me.”

I smiled lightly.

“Come on! Get up now. We have one thing we still have to do that doesn’t require us traveling.”

“What is it?”

I smiled and pointed at Get high. Damon laughed.

“I had completely forgotten about that. But, you know what, it’s actually pretty smart since marijuana has medical purposes and I’ll probably be in pain again during the day. Problem is, I have no idea where to find some.”

“Hang on.”

I exited the room and went to find Jenny downstairs. She was watching Keeping up with the Kardashians with an intense concentration.

“Jenny.”

She jumped and turned around.

“You scared the hell out of me! What’s going on?”

“Do you have any marijuana? Or pot?”

She got up.

“What? Leah, are you okay?”

I laughed. “I’m fine Jenny, Damon and I just want to get high.”

“Oh, because that’s so normal!”

“Do you have some or not? I’ll pay for it, of course.”

“No need, consider it my gift to you. Follow me.”

She led me to her room and dug up a little jewelry box from under her mattress. She opened it and took a little plastic bag out of it.

“I am not an addict, I have only taken pot twice but I kept this one for when… Damon would die. Because I knew you would probably need it some time.”

“Oh!”

“I’ll buy some more.” She handed me the little plastic bag

“Thanks.”

“I’m heading out to see Seth, but call me if you’re having a bad trip.”

“Ok. Don’t worry, we won’t take too much.”

She laughed and I went back in my room. Damon was looking at something on his phone, smiling.

“Hey!”

He rose his head, still smiling and locked his phone.

“Let’s make brownies!” I exclaimed while agitating the little packet.

Damon smiled before following me downstairs to the kitchen. We got the ingredients out (luckily we had everything we needed) and prepared the brownie, before adding our special ingredient.

“Have you ever gotten high before?” I asked Damon.

“I’ve smoked pot two or three times I think at parties but that’s it. You?”

“Nope. I tried once but I just coughed.”

He laughed. We put the brownies in the oven and listened to music while they were baking.

“You know, we never searched the date of the airing of our X factor episode.” Damon remarked as I was singing. “Maybe we’ll be on TV or we were already and we don’t even know it.”

“It seems like it was a year ago already.”

“Totally. Can I borrow your computer?”

“Yeah, go ahead, I think I left it on the couch.”

He went to take it and I joined him. He searched a few things then found the airing date. Six months from now.

“Shit, that’s a long time.” Damon said.

We both knew what he was thinking. That maybe he wouldn’t last long enough to see it. But I refused to believe that. The oven beeped so he closed the computer and we went back to the kitchen to get the brownies out. They were perfectly goowy and smelled amazing. We waited a few minutes for them to cool off a little then took one each.

“Cheers. I hope this will be fun.” Damon said while toasting with our brownies.

“God me too! On three.”

We counted to three before biting at the same time in our brownie.

“Mmh!!” Damon exclaimed.

“This is soo good!”

We ate the whole thing, then another and pretty soon just finished the plate. It took some time before we realized the marijuana was kicking in. Being high was strange but pretty fun. We laughed a lot, for nothing and then for really sad truths. We were so hungry we probably ate everything that was on the fridge or in the closets. Damon wasn’t in pain the whole time the marijuana was acting up, which was pretty damn awesome. We played dumb games and fixed stuff for long minutes. It was weird.

By five in the evening, it had worn off and we were back to our normal state. I think we had fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes, I was laying in Damon’s arms with plenty of food packets on me or on the floor. Damon’s was sleeping with his mouth open which was totally adorable. I shook his arm lightly to wake him up and he opened his eyes before yawning.

“Did we fall asleep?” He asked.

“I guess.”

He smiled.

“Well, this was fun. We should probably get ready to go to your parents’ house.”

“Yeah.” He sighed.

We checked Get high off the list and he went to his house to take a shower and change his clothes. I did the same in my own house. I hadn’t seen Damon’s parents for a long time and I couldn’t even remember their faces clearly. I used to spend pretty much all of my free time at their house with Damon but it had been since I moved that I hadn’t seen them.

I couldn’t even begin to imagine how they felt, knowing their son would die in a few months and he wasn’t with them every day. I was lucky he was here with me but I felt bad for them. They surely wanted him to stay there with them for the time he had left.

I put Taylor Swift’s new album on and tried to arrange my hair and makeup while singing over her songs. My phone buzzed and I eyes Jenny’s new text. Good luck for tonight!I smiled at the nice thought and replied with a little heart.

I joined Damon outside in his car when we were both ready and we drove to his parents’ house. I knew he was anxious about it and the truth was, I kind of was too. We put music on to try to forget about our stress but it didn’t work very well.